Men In Queer Spaces Do Not Have To Be Feminine In Order To Be Seen As "acceptable" Or A Part Of The Space.

Trans story time!

I had a dream last night!

In my dream I was looking at my shitty little pre-t "lash-stach" in my bathroom mirror, kinda pushing my lip around and brushing it, wishing it would grow

And my fiancé poked her head around the corner to remind me to shave before our date. I turned my head to look at her, and told her I would

When I looked back in the mirror, I looked completely different, with a full beard, wider face, more "masculine" features

And I was stressed, looking through the drawers for a razor I could not find, i pulled out nail clippers and tweezers and eventually, I just put my hands on the counter and looked in the mirror at myself again

I ran my hand through my beard and judged weather i really needed to trim it or if it was acceptable for this date

And I remember pausing, and looking into my own big brown eyes, and thinking

"I knew it would get better one day"

Anyway

I woke up and went to rub my chin, and just felt this distant sadness as my hand met my smooth skin

But yeah. I feel like this is one of those dreams you hear about that just has this absolutely raw dialogue line

Anyway, how's your guys day going?

Trans tips #6

YOU DO NOT NEED TO INFANTISE YOURSELF TO BE MORE PALETABLE TO OTHERS

you don't need to infantile yourself

You don't need to be palatable

You don't need to conform to others views and opinions

You don't need to infantise yourself to be more palatable

You don't need to infantise yourself for others

You don't need to be palatable for others

This one is kind of a rant so whatever BUT

I SEE THIS SO OFTEN IT MAKES ME WANT TO GO FERAL

There was this great trans influencer on tiktok, he went by Mars, had all the surgeries, talked about his experiences, had a clothing brand, interacted with fans, allllll the good shit an influencer can do...right? RIGHT!!

I loved his, he's one of the first influencers that made me question my gender identity, made me do my own research and ask myself questions and start to realize that I, too, might be Trans

Fuckin love that guy! He's great!

But you know what's one thing that made me cringe away from him! HE INFANTISED HIMSELF SO MUCH

This goes for trans women and men, you don't need to make yourself look like a meek lil defenseless thing to be palatable to others! PLEASE

He called himself a boy ALL. THE. TIME even though he's a full ass man with a beard and body hair and age and wisdom he call himself a little boy!

He got the testosterone jelly but he called it his "boy goo" STOP IT

He stood slouched and pitched his voice up for the camera and tried to make himself sound and appear as meek and whimpy and vulnerable as he could! Just in the way he carried himself in his videos!! And it INFURIATES ME BEYOND BELIEF!!!!!!!

DONT INFANTISE YOURSELF

It's testosterone jelly, not "boy goo" even "man goo" or "man slime" if you still wanted a stupid lil name for it just ANYTHING BUT BOY GOO also that just sounds weird to begin with!!!

Your a MAN not a BOY unless you are the AGE of a BOY you are a MANNNN

Same with trans women!!!! You are not a GIRL you are a WOMAN unless you are the AGE of a GIRL you are a WOMANNNNNN

And I get it, you don't wanna be that big intimidating trans person coming in public restrooms like what the media says is evil and blah blah blah

But your fucking NOT

INFANTISING YOURSELF IS TRANS ERASURE

We are not meant to hide in the shadows or be in the back of the classroom or anything like that! Be proud about who you are! Square your shoulders! Chin up! Pick up your feet! Walk with confidence! PLEASE

End of rant but I just needed to get that out of my system

Also i have a rant about trans people sexualizing themselves but that's a different rant for another day!

HEY!!! Trans tips #5!

It's okay if it takes a while for you to transition!

Currently i have an appointment with a Gender Health Clinic set for July. This appointment is for me to be able to start Testosterone. Until then I can do nothing to medically transition.

But you know what? You don't have to medically transition as soon as possible! It's okay! This is the soonest available to me, until then I will be clearing out my wardrobe, coming out to more people, changing my appearance to better fit my style and my identity, and all of that is okay!

It's alright if you feel like your transitioning is in a stand still because you don't have the resources or means or time to transition, you're still valid

Never question if you're still valid just because it's taking you time to transition, you're valid no matter what!

It feels weird, for me, like being in some sort of trans limbo right now

But it's okay to feel uncomfortable! The days will pass and you will look different, and you'll be okay! I'm proud of you!

"trans guy music is nothing but little softboys with ukuleles" I truly believe you people haven't listened to a single thing by Billy Tipton or The Cliks or Saahrg or Rocco Katastrophe or K's Choice or Schmekel or Ryan Cassata's heavier stuff or Resuscitate or Alright Gents or Nerva Puck or 2am Ricky or really listened to any transmasc person in general. Nice job infantilizing me though I hear the optics on that are great here. I also bet that Cavetown would call you a bitch

*starts timer*

*checks #transmen tag*

*scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll*

"Hmm, no..."

*Checks #transmasc tag*

*scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll*

"Hmmmm, not here either"

*goes to liked posts*

*scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scr-*

"FOUND IT!!!"

*checks timer*

Timer: 47 min, 2 seconds

That is how long it took me to find this FUCKING POST

JUST TO SAY

THIS POST HAS GIVEN ME A GENDER EUPHORIC HIGH I HAVNT FELT IN SO LONG

"But Li, you repost so many trans positiviy posts, why is this one so euphoric"

First of all, your beautiful, SECOND of all:

Specifically for one of the characters represented in it that i can relate to SO hard

And that is HIM

As a pre-top surgery trans guy, this shit makes me feel so EUPHORIC

Whether he can't get top surgery or doesn't want it doesn't fucking matter, what matters is that he doesn't have it, and he's still chest out and fucking proud about it

I don't know how to describe it properly but seeing somebody whose body is so much like my own, sitting there so casually, the representation has me on fucking Cloud Nine

And the whole image is beautifully created, an amazing representation of the diversity of trans men is just breath taking- the colors, the poses, the controposo, the contrasts

It's just, it's just a perfect and uplifting image all together, but still seeing someone with a body like mine represented is so beautiful and wonderful

This post has effected the way I carry myself

I used to think the peak of my masculinity right now was walking around the house in a sports bra because I don't have a proper binder rn- I was still covering mirrors to shower. Lights off, don't look down, just wash and go, close my eyes to get dressed

BUT FUCK after I saw this, I went to change and I looked in the mirror, and I saw myself in this image

I was able to look at my chest more objectively

And I just thought-like

"Yeah, that is a male body, that's what my male body is *supposed* to look like"

And just

Yeah

happy pride !! i love u my trans masc siblings 🫶 ⚧️ 🫶

this is also a redraw of a piece from june 2019 ⬇️

trying to prove a point to the boys at school

reblog this if you believe trans men are real men like this if you dont

CW: ED

just something i noticed in my lived experience

I realize this may not be common knowledge so; If you are on injectable estradiol and/or you're on testosterone you can buy your own syringes and needles!!!!!!! It will likely be far cheaper than the syringes you're made to pay for at the pharmacy, and you can buy in bulk! I have saved SO much money.

Just make sure you've got the same sizes as were prescribed by your doctor, and you're getting needles that are intended for medical use, be sure to check reviews, vet online stores, all of that!

Happy transing your genders!

Trans tips #9!

Dont be embarrassed of yourself!

Somewhat story time, but it has a lesson, I promise!

I'm no longer sick! And I went out to dinner with some friends, my fiancé, and my younger sibling (NB) Whom knows about my transness

Well, we were at a Mexican restaurant when the manager walked up and was making conversation with the table. Eventually, he asked how we all knew eachother.

Now, some information about me, I still have long, blue hair that I am finally growing out after years of cutting it, and I'm pre-t. For the most part, not passing at all.

But my sibling introduced me as their brother

I felt super embarrassed

The manager asked "Brother? Who's your brother?"

Sibling points at me again, very casually, "yeah, so, my brother, his fiancé, (their) friends, ect..."

Manager starts pointing around the table, asking again "who is your brother?"

Sibling points to me again and very dismissively calls me their brother again

Now, overall, very proud of my sibling for sticking to their guns and not backing down

But in that moment I was so beyond embarrassed!

At the end I just wanted to tell them so let it go and let the manager call me their sister or something, anything to end the conversation, get me out of this mess, stop everyone from staring at me, I want a molcajete and a margarita at this point, thank you, yeah I'll pay let's just wrap this up please sibling shut UP

I was so annoyed with them

But, that was a few days ago, and I've since calmed down and I've been thinking about it all

I was the first in my family to ever come out. I've expressed my gender and sexuality differently for the last couple of years, and when my sibling came out as Nonbianary, I got them their first flag, and I walked them through coming out, and I showed them their options and their resources

And they received backlash

Because people (especially our family) weren't used to the idea of Nonbianary

My sibling considered de-transitioning

Going back to "normal"

Hiding in the closet

But I told them No! If someone doesn't refer to you by your chosen name, don't respond! I won't! I don't know who [deadname] is! I only know the name You told me! Fuck anyone who says otherwise!

Do you think I'm able to date and be engaged to the most wonderful and beautiful person in all of existence by hiding in the closet when people are mean to me? FUCK NO!

Stand up, say it with your chest, own it, and you'll be so much happier! So much more free!

They're just doing what I thought them to do

Dont be ashamed of who you are, and when you are ashamed, I won't be ashamed of you.

I can't hide in the closet, I am Valid

I may not pass, I am Valid

I may not be able to medically transition, I am Valid

I may like my hair longer, I am Valid

My voice isn't as deep as I want it to be, I am Valid

I am Valid, and You are Too

As long as you are safe to do so, don't be ashamed or afraid to come out;

And when you are, have someone else who can speak up for you!

The fearmongering around medical transition for transmascs will never not be upsetting to me.

“you’re gonna look ugly as a man” “but you’re such a pretty girl, don’t change that” Wrong. You will look different after T, but you will look happy. You will probably grow hair and gain weight and look pretty different, and none of that is bad or makes you less desirable. You are going to look like you and that’s all that matters.

“T makes you angry” “you’re gonna be a scary man i won’t feel safe around you” Wrong. Testosterone does not “make” you angry. Messing with your hormones will mess with your emotions for sure, but you will not immediately become some scary predator when you start T. Being a man/masculine does not make you a threat, a predator, or inherently angry. That’s radfem shit.

“bottom growth is gross” “no one will want you with bottom growth” Wrong. Bottom growth is cool and a LOT of guys end up loving theirs a lot more than they thought they would. For a lot of people it is a desirable trait, there are people who find bottom growth hot and attractive. And! If you’re sure you don’t want it there’s things you can do to work around that, just talk to your provider.

“bottom surgery is super painful and not worth it” First off, call it phalloplasty, because that’s what you’re talking about. Second, yes it’s painful, it’s surgery. There are risks to it and complications can happen, but that’s true of any surgery. Phallo might not be for you, but it is life saving care for other folks. It is beautiful and should be talked about as life saving care and not as some afterthought thing that no one actually does.

Being transmasculine is a beautiful thing. Transitioning medically is not something every trans person wants, but if you notice yourself holding back for the reasons i’ve listed above (or similar) maybe reconsider.