I Have A Love For The Beauty, And Madness, Of Thinking.

hahaha Okay... I grumbled.. now for the more uplifting stuff. Grumble, complain... then feed the mind and body with healthy happy using some fresh bananas and blueberries in some blueberry banana Cheerios. Cool, refreshing, and healthy.

minecraft.wiki

Minecraft Wiki

Welcome to the most comprehensive wiki about the Minecraft franchise, proudly community-run since 2009. Anyone can contribute!

hahaha Okay, I don't play as much as I used to, and what I do when I play has definitely changed BUT... then and now I can not express enough how thankful I am for this site. With updates, questions, and curious finds, this site has helped me sooooo many times... to figure out what, where, how, and uhm... now what can I do with that information?. hahahaha Enjoy!

Pain....

Pain is interesting. It makes people do strange things. It can make folks weird, angry, sad, and many other things. Just like any "animal" when someone is in pain, they may do things, or say things, they wouldn't say if they weren't hurting. What makes it more interesting is that you can't see... pain. You can't look at someone and always know for sure if they are hurting. You can read their angry posts or texts, grumble at their complete avoidance of activities, or wonder what is wrong with them when they deal with their pain by being utterly goofy but you can't always SEE... pain. Just a fun fact to share. Something to think about when someone acts a bit gruff or gives you a dirty look in passing. Might not have anything to do with you. Might have a lot to do with pain... plain and simple. Just sayin.

I am watching the movie "The Furnace" and I heard a quote that hit me in ways I can't even describe. "Strength, isn't measured by how much you can take before you break, it's how much you can take... after you're broken." .... Seriously, I can not even begin to express how much I felt that... so I felt it good to share. I can't say I always feel strong, but yeah, sometimes... I feel like a serious badass. haha

We all have our own battles. Whatever yours are.... take a deep breathe, listen to yourself, you got this... no matter how it may sound, look, or feel. Much love.

Should you fancy a read and not carry a fear of thinking... here's my current recommendation. Enjoy.

Pulled in to the parking garage.... giggled when I saw the creeper van. Pulled up next to it then decided nope, I'm parking directly across from it. Once I did, I had to admit... I wasn't sure if I should fear the driver, or pet the van. hahahaha Kinda cute for a creeper van. hahaha .... To be clear.. no scary driver appeared and no, I did not pet the van. lol

I don't have a clue how any of this works yet but I'm learning. I could no longer tolerate FB, or any of the other popular social media sites but I want SOMETHING so I'm here. So far it looks interesting so hopefully, this will be the mood lifting inspiration I needed.

“Listen to people who know more than you do. Then do it your own way.”

— Alan Parker

Confused.

Humans make no sense to me. They destroy everything, including each other and seem to think it's okay. It's like people believe life isn't supposed to be annoying so when it is, they find ways to get a "feel good" no matter who, or what, it hurts. It creates chaos that doesn't need to exist, which ends up being more fuel for people to behave poorly in search of that "feel good". The trail of damage left behind is disgusting and yet, it's like nobody actually understands that, or cares. It really does seem to be all about easy "feel good" even when that only adds to the problems. meh Maybe I'm just missing something but then again, I did label this "strugglingasahuman" so... clearly there is a LOT I "miss". hahaha

I am not a ghost.

I don't have a job. I have always had a hard time making money. I will not show you my tits or do sexually charged things with you. I won't constantly stroke your ego. I can't connect you to anyone "important". I won't agree with everything you say or do. I won't laugh at stupidity with you. I don't think life is always easy nor do I feel that easy is always the best idea. No, I won't make sure to maintain a certain "appearance", I don't even wear make-up. While I do understand that money is a "need", waving your net worth at me will not impress me. I strongly believe in effort, learning, and making constant adjustments. I have often put a lot of energy into helping others but I have finally also accepted that I deserve acknowledgement and help as well.

I know. I understand. More than one human has explained that I am simply being too difficult and that's why I can't connect. I get it BUT, I also understand that I'm not invisible. Just because I am not one to conform to common behavior patterns does not mean that I deserve to be treated like I am even less noticeable than the homeless person you happily see as either a problem, or a way to feel better about yourself by donating to the charity case. I am very much alive. I too have feelings. I... am not a monster... or a ghost! I am simply different. I don't want to be medicated or changed so I can be more "normal". I just want to be me, and be accepted as human. Yes, I know... good luck with that. Humans can't even seem to get beyond skin color so why would I expect my list of differences to be accepted? meh... A girl can dream.