This Scene Always Kills Me She Does Not Gaf

still warm

tell me about you

Trial 2 - 016 Voice drama: "Statice"

Echo: Kai-san. Hello. Kai: Hey. Echo: How are you feeling? Kai: Are you genuinely curious or is this mere courtesy? Hm, now that I think about it, I doubt that many of your words are honest at all. Echo: …Let's begin the interrogation. Kai: Sure. Echo: …In fact, I would like you to trust me a bit more since I shared some of my work notes with you. Kai: I wouldn't like to. Next. Echo: (sighs) Um, this is just a formality, but could you re-introduce yourself? Kai: Kai Yuunagi, 26 years old. My current occupation is being a caretaker in a prison-like place called MILGRAM. They don't even pay me for it. Echo: They don’t pay me either. Kai: I don’t care about the problems of those in authority. Echo: Glad to see you haven’t changed… Kai: Of course. No matter how much you pull out weeds, they grow again. Can you be more straightforward with your questions? Echo: I'm kind of getting reminded of something from before. You and Kouta-kun must be equally big fans of direct communication. Kai: Hm. You think you're funny. Echo: A bit. Kai: Hurry up already. Echo: Okay, okay. What do you think of your verdict? Kai: My verdict? Echo: Yes. Kai: Remind me, what's my verdict? Echo: … Kai: I told you to remind me of my verdict, not stare at me. Are you slow? Echo: …You got a double verdict. Perpetrator and Savior. Kai: Ah, right. Now. What the fuck is that? What's the point of your voting system if you can assign whatever in any combinations? Echo: This is an exception. I genuinely couldn't decide whether it's better to make you a Savior or a Perpetrator. Kai: And what is this supposed to mean? Echo: Uh… From one side, you were consistently… pretty inconsiderate with fellow prisoners. Kai: You're surely choosing your words. Echo: …From another, you showed care for them as well. Kai: I guess. Echo: More to this, you're the oldest one here, so others seem to naturally look up to you. Kai: Cool. Echo: Stop interrupting me. Kai: Don't order me around. Echo: You're the prisoner. Kai: Shut up. Echo: … Kai: Good. Echo: I didn't shut up because you told me to. I did it to show I'm not participating in your petty games. Kai: You're already participating. Echo: … Kai: … Echo: (sighs) If I were to make you a pure Savior, it would mean to ignore that you're, uh, uncooperative. Kai: Still choosing your words. Echo: Okay! Got it! You're fucking rude and mean for no reason! Kai: Yeah. Echo: Yet! If I were to make you a pure Perpetrator, it would be ignoring the help that you provide for other prisoners! …Then, to make you a Victim would mean to disregard that you clearly have some sort of authority over many people here, in other words, that they’re willing to listen to you. That's all. Kai: However. Echo: However? Kai: …Well… I’m not restricted as much as Perpetrators, and it's possible for me to pair up with a Victim… If anything, it’s more like a Savior with limited rights… Echo: Hmm. That is true in a way. You're not one of my “assistants” and you can't make requests, but you might have more rights of a Savior than restrictions of a Perpetrator. Kai: Why? Echo: The rules are not what I've decided on, so I don't know. But before choosing your final verdict, I was thinking about it… that if you had more consequences associated with Saviors, it would be the best option for the prison for the time being. Kai: So the only thing that matters about me is whether I'm helpful or harmful, and as long as I'm helpful, you can use me. Echo: If you see it as me using you, I guess that's so. Kai: You're admitting it really easily. Echo: I mean, that's what you choose to believe? And this belief doesn't hurt you or me, even if I might personally disagree with it, so it doesn't bother me. Kai: Do you disagree or not? Echo: It doesn't bother me. Kai: (sighs) Echo: You wanted to become closer to others, didn't you? Being a Savior is the best opportunity for it— well… a Savior with limited rights, as you call it… With the new rules, if you were purely a Perpetrator or a Victim, you would get isolated from everyone. Kai: … Echo: What’s the matter?

Kai: The reason I've been trying to get closer to others, as you say… is simple boredom. There's nothing deep to it. If you’d prefer to isolate me instead, then so be it. Echo: Hmm. Kai: … Echo: Sure. Kai: Huh? Echo: Once, you said that you, prisoners, don't necessarily remember your dreams. Do you remember your dreams, Kai-san? Kai: —Dreams? Echo: Yes, the ones that show your memories. Kai: …Not too much? I kind of remember the atmosphere and feelings in them, but not the exact events. Echo: Then, I'll remind you. “Who will you save when two people are drowning?” “How much do you think terrible of a sin is playing Messiah?” And, “I met someone I could care about.” Kai: … Echo: I'm pretty sure you wanted to be a Savior, Kai-san. This is why you're carefully bringing it up. Kai: …Are you trying to pose it as doing a favor to me? Echo: Not in particular? Rather, I would like you to cheer up a bit. From your behavior, I assumed that you're unhappy with the position you ended up in. Kai: … Echo: Or is there something else to it? Kai: You've found a really convenient path with being ambiguous. It's impossible for me to complain. If I say… Since you gave me the rights of a Savior, don't dare call me a Perpetrator— You can always answer, you got a double verdict in the first place. If I ask, how can a person be harmful and helpful both at the same time? You'll admit, it's just a matter of what you can provide for the time being. Sway too much to one side, and it's over. …That ambiguity is what annoys me, though. As if you're getting asked, so, is this one guilty? And you answer, who knows. But if I'm asking a question… I would hate to hear “who knows”. Echo: You're annoyed by the “double verdict” itself, then? Kai: You couldn't decide what you should do with me. So, you're buying yourself extra time. Without an actual verdict and, therefore, formal rules properly applied to me, you can continue to observe me, and once you gather enough information, you'll make your final decision. That means I'm never getting this “double verdict” another time, for sure. This is what I hate. Echo: I… don't quite get it. Kai: If you have an opinion on me, then don't change it. Because if you change it so easily, how can I be sure of anything? I’m left with no solution. The answer that you gave me is the most uncertain of all. Echo: … Kai: “It doesn't bother me”. What if it bothers me? Huh? Well, you’re the one who holds power, so it doesn’t matter what I feel. Echo: …You know… Isn’t it really hypocritical of you? Kai: Mhm. Echo: Blaming others for not giving certain answers. Kai: Yes, yes. You’re scared, lost and whatever, this is why. I’m good at pitying others, but your existence is making me remember something really bad, so I’m not going to pity you. Echo: (sighs) Kai: Enough. Is this an interrogation or what? Ask something else. Echo: Kai-san. Kai: What? Echo: Your “crime” was an accident, wasn’t it? You didn’t actually do anything for it to happen. Kai: My crime? Echo: Yes. Kai: So we're talking about my crime now. Echo: This is an interrogation, after all. Kai: My crime has to do with strangling people. Next. Echo: Back during Kouta's interrogation… Kai: … Echo: Whenever he talked about suicide, you gripped him. Why? Kai: I would be upset if he killed himself before I could kill him with my bare hands. Next. Echo: You're funny. Kai: Am I? Echo: Yes. Kai-san, you've seen my work notes. Kai: If you're asking whether I remember him or not, it's not like I know. All these people are kind of the same. Kouta-kun, you, whoever still exists in my memory, or, say… Ayame-chan, or Miku. The paintings that I'd made out of my view on you wouldn't really differ. Even if you try hard to not be the same, it never changes. Well, I'm also at fault for constantly trapping myself in a cycle… Echo: … Kai: Ahh… What was it about… Right. I don't remember the names or the appearances of my victims. The reason for the deaths is that I've strangled them. That's all, that's all. I don't enjoy repeating myself. Echo: …I see. Kai: Ah, right.

[bell rings] Echo: What? Kai: Why did our uniforms change to more loose ones? Echo: I don't know. Actually, I didn't expect them to change either. Kai: Of course you'd say this. Echo: I mean, I have responsibility for the trials and the insides of the prison while the trials are on-going, but when it comes to… let's say, set-up, I don't know who's doing it. Kai: Isn't it dangerous to give so much freedom to criminals? Echo: That's true… Kai: Scary, scary, Echo-chan. There's someone making decisions instead of you. And they seem to enjoy the possibility of you being in danger. Echo: …Is this a threat? Kai: It's not like I am threatening you. However, there are people who might be threatened by me, and those who might threaten you. Like, for example… Chise-chama. Echo: … Kai: I'm just considering the outcomes. Well, I might be someone who has some rights associated with Saviors at the moment, but I'm no Savior. So, if anything happens… Please forgive me if I don't make it in time.

never kill yourself

Trial 2 - 016 Memory report

Record no.5

The bright-pink silhouette flickered in the front of the train leaving. Before I could scream out anything, I’ve already run out of time. She demanded promises from me, but never wanted to give me one, not even one. I was a child too; I didn't know how to do anything right too. Why do I still wear these gloves? I've long grown up, I've got no grudges, no regrets. I understand. The one who's older and keeps a calm face can't be helpless.  Here's a riddle for you, a puzzle: who will you save when two people are drowning?  The one who you love, or who loves you? The correct answer is,  I can't swim. … Art supplies broke on the floor with a loud thud; I asked, what is her surname? I checked the age again, trying to pull out memories of the year we met, the year she left, my birth year, counting the birth year of “her” that I remember. She lied to me. No matter how much I pleaded, I could never become someone to tell the truth to. She lied to me. Even after leaving me many years ago, she's been lying to me this whole time! 

Record no.6

Hey. Going out of your way that much is gross. You need to make an effort to care, for sure, but you need to make an effort to not care to this point. Text me tomorrow morning You're not sleeping. It's not the time you go to sleep at. I was busy [Quoted message] What for? 9 a.m., right? If you don't text me before that time, I'll think that you're dead. <...> I'll find you either way. Now this is a threat. Everything I tell you is supposed to be a threat. Did you forget?  [Quoted message] It's not fair I really couldn’t ever become someone to tell the truth to

Record no.7

I couldn't fall asleep all night.  Well, it might be because I woke up too late, but being unable to fall asleep when I'm upset and exhausted is the most annoying. I think I'm going to suffocate. The average temperature is around 8 degrees. A fog will be occupying some areas first thing in the morning. While it's expected to be thin, it’s going to disrupt visibility. There is a high chance of rain starting around afternoon and continuing until evening.  I started preparing at 7 hours 3 minutes. The weather was chilly, but because it was hard to breathe, I put on only two shirts. It happens sometimes. I need to freeze to wake up properly, or maybe it's a form of self-punishment, either way, the train station isn't too close to where I live, so I needed to have enough time. Are you seriously listening to all that? I left my house at 7 hours 16 minutes. Looking back at it, why did I take so long? I always took too long to get ready… That's one of my traits that made me impossible to deal with…  Maybe because a few days before it I asked you to please not leave me alone, no, it's not the way I worded it, so no wonder you hated it… There's too much of me, but when my presence is actually necessary, I flee from the scene...  I still don't know who, when and where are appropriate, so I get myself in trouble all the time. I have no idea how to do that, even though I make my life revolve around it, I haven't learned such things to this day. 5 minutes before arriving there, I looked at my phone and saw 8 hours 13 minutes. I didn't have anyone to talk to, so I simply stared at the screen. Though my collar is unbuttoned, I keep choking, what an annoyance. You might wonder, how do you remember the time so precisely? Well, everything is possible in a dream, no?  I arrived at the station at  That's the honest way to put it. Might be a bit too honest? I'm tired of small talk, so I throw around love confessions.  I think of getting your attention all the time, can't help it, but you can't imagine it. Hm… That's right. I'm the type to observe from the sidelines. Those “love confessions”… might be too empty to make any change, I cowardly cover my face and become all alone once again… the time that I ran out of. At -1464 hours -87840 minutes, I suffocated.

so my apartment building got a notice board to post fire alarm tests and maintenance announcements and such. the building is pretty well-maintained, so we rarely get notices. the board is big and grey and to think it would be empty like that 99% of the time was a bland boring sin i just couldn't bear, so i vandalized the corner of its empty canvas with a teeny tiny Guy

and within a few days, there was a sudden addition from my one of my neighbors along with a Bunch of thumbtacks. this was an unexpected, but welcome surprise!

well there was still so much space, i figured i'd add another crumb to the art hoard. i'd been playing genshin that day so i drew my favorite grandpa

and like clockwork, new art manifested!! this person is gonna grow to be a great artist i know it. the detail in those stones? hell yeah that's cool.

we're two weeks into it. more neighbors have joined in with their artwork. who knew there were so many artists in my building?? we're onto somethin great here i just know it.

eueue