Wait Wait Wait, So You're Telling Me, That Not Only Did Stan Win The Tumblr Sexyman Contest On Weed Day,

Do you ever think of you and Stanley as celestial figures?

Like the sun and the moon, or the planets and the stars? You described Bill as a black hole once, what would that make you and Stanley? Maybe even Dipper and Mabel?

Hm. That is a wonderfully intriguing question! I'm not sure I've entirely processed what my thoughts on this would be, so this will be fun to delve into. Do not interpret any of this metaphorically—I am not a poet, and I am not attempting to be. These are simply my thoughts on the matter.

Stanley reminds me of the Earth. Not in a motherly, nurturing way as some might describe, but in the way that it is resourceful. Full of life, even. The surface of the Earth is inherently cold, but, of course, once you get closer to its core, you encounter nearly scorching warmth—warmth that mimics the sun, warmth that keeps Earth's natural magnetic field functioning. Some may call this a plain choice, but I detest the notion. If you think the Earth is plain, I ask you this: would an alien from another world think that a planet, bustling with life and hope and knowledge, growing and producing miracles every single day, is plain? Boring? It all depends on perspective whether it's liked, but, objectively, the Earth is one of the most useful and miraculous planets out there.

Anywho, as for my great-niece, Mabel, I'm sure that it may seem obvious that her assignment is in relation to a star, but it is a bit more complicated than that. From my point of view, I see her as a supernova. For those who are not aware, a supernova is the result of a supermassive star reaching the end of its lifespan. Now, technically, you could view the explosion of a star as a "death" of some kind. The end of a life; but, arguably and on the contrary, I would consider it a rebirth. A supernova, the rebirth of a star, is a force that brings massive amounts of energy and light to the galaxy around it—quite literally brightening up the worlds nearby for several light years—which certainly sounds like a certain somebody. Supernovae also release elements like oxygen and rubidium into the air, which are essential for lifeforms to intake.

Furthermore, I would categorize Dipper as a dwarf planet in this fictional, imaginative world where we all take forms of celestial bodies. Many dwarf planets, although often overlooked due to their size, are not much different from their larger planet peers. They share similar traits, such as the presence of moons paired with some of them, as well as the (possible but likely, in my opinion) existence of lifeforms on the planets with less harsh atmospheres. Additionally, they are incredibly helpful when it comes to exploring both the history and the present state of the solar system—after all, the study of Pluto's orbit was what led to the discovery of orbital migration in the bigger planets we are more familiar with. They arguably also have the more interesting names.

Finally, for myself, I would consider myself to be an asteroid—specifically 4 Vesta. Vesta is a unique asteroid. It's the second largest body in the main asteroid belt, which nearly led to it being classified as a dwarf planet, but it never achieved the title. Its structure is similar to the one of Earth's, with both a crust, mantle, and warm core. This is because it formed much earlier, pre-dating the birth of the solar system that we know and love. Although it contains the greatest amount of brightness observed on any rocky body in the entire system, it contains both light and dark material, along with impressively large craters. These craters are a result of many collisions and crashes with other objects—one of which, titled the Rheasilvia crater, was responsible for it losing 1% of its mass.

These are surface-level comparisons, and astronomy was never my main focus, so forgive me if these weren't the answers you were expecting.

Here's some sketches from my latest fic

https://archiveofourown.org/works/64049332?view_adult=true

Also, the cross-dressing Stan design belongs to @scurvyboy with that build a bear sketch, it was just so perfect, no notes, I can't beat perfection

DIGITAL ARTISTS IM CURIOUS

please reblog for sample etc etc <333

More bored drawings lol

References under the cut

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Do we ever talk about how Stanley aged? And I don't mean in a "haha younger twin look older" kinda way, but just how much he ran himself into the ground?

Imagine what Ford was thinking once he got a good look at Stanley. Without the judgement or bitterness, without the haze. REALLY looked at him. His sunken eyes, his thinning and greying hair, the layer of chub that has accumulated on his torso and arms. The amount of scars and marks he had earned.

The realization of just how much Stanley neglected himself in favor of him. Neglected himself in favor of the kids, of the business, of everything.

Maybe even the realization of how HE would have looked, if Stanley didn't swoop in all those years ago. How HE would look if he had to fight sleep at night and work his ass off during the day like he planned. The realization that Stanley took all that burden, and he'd do it again for him in a heartbeat.

Yeahhh, Stanley would DEFINITELY not be good at sleeping. Even without all the trauma, I feel like he wouldn't be very good at sleeping cause his mind constantly races.

I mean, Bill mentioned how he had amazing control over his mindscape, and when the kids came in, his mindscape was PACKED with shit while Ford simply had a field. I know for a FACT he'd stay up for hours simply thinking even if he's not the "smart" twin.

I know a lot of ppl talk about Ford’s fucked up sleeping schedule but we are missing out on both of the sea Grunkles having absurd sleeping schedules.

You’re telling me, Stanley Danley Pines, a man who had a day job of performing, watching over the kids, and having the night job of having to figure out complex equations, having to take up mechanics to re build the portal and a tracking device to find where Ford is theoretically in the multiverse would be have the best sleeping schedule?!

Mans probably taking random ass naps during the daytime. Neither of the brother have proper sleep schedules.

Oh you've given me a reason to talk about the Stan twins and sleeping, you're going to regret this

Between the two of them, I am of the controversial opinion that its STAN who doesn't sleep.

Ford knows the value of sleep. He spent however long avoiding sleep as a LIFE OR DEATH type situation (Bill) and THEN spent 30 years in the multiverse in constant danger sleeping only when he could. Ford has had a terrible relationship with sleeping for forever, even when he was a teen, desperate to prove himself, he wasn't sleeping in order to study and read.

Which is WHY, retired Ford? Fucking LOVES to sleep.

Bill is gone. He's on a boat, safe, with his brother by his side and all the food, medical supplies, and resources he could ever need or want, studying anomalies on what is basically a never ending vacation. All this to say, FORD takes naps. He takes naps in bed, at all hours. He takes naps on couches, on chairs, on the desk, sitting upright in kitchen stools, Ford takes naps in the car, no matter what car, whatever. If the place is VAUGLY comfortable and his brother is nearby, Ford is out like a light. The man makes napping an OLYMPIC LEVEL SPORT and he wins it like everything else. The amount of sleep he gets is something to aspire to.

STAN on the other hand. Is the opposite. His sleep was not a constant pull towards factors he could not control, his sleep schedule is as solid as stone and as unending as steel.

It's just TERRIBLE.

Stan runs, fully functional and his ultimate cheery (grumpy) self, on MAXIMUM three hours of sleep a night. 10 years of rigorous sleep schedule to move the car he's sleeping in so he doesn't get his window knocked on by police. Top THAT with 30 years of running the shop during the day, and spending ALL NIGHTS EVERY NIGHT working on the portal, means that Stan's body has given up the fight of demanding more sleep and just thrown in the towel, and Stan gets by with basically nothing

This is, predictably, SUPER GODDAMN UNHEALTHY.

When Ford gets back, Stan sort of. Doesn't know what to do with himself. He's awake, no matter of tossing and turning really matters, he's just. Perfectly fine being alive at 2 in the morning

After the memory gun, Ford is VERY CONCERNED by this behavior, CONVINCED that the not sleeping thing is a side effect. It isn't until Stan gets all his memories back (and after Stan yells at him for hovering) that Ford internalizes that Stan really. Just. Doesn't sleep.

(He learns the reasons for it and has a whole ADDITIONAL guilt spiral on top of the Bill cipher/memory gun one. Stan has to actually wrestle him into the idea that he loves him anyway)

Que Stanford Pines Ultimate Plan to get Stan to sleep more.

Hes a doctor twelve times over, surely this will be easy.

ERR WRONG. Stan is a hard nut to Crack.

Super comfortable bed? No change. Better pillows? Ultra soft blankets? Nope. Weighted blankets? Stan feels too constricted, opposite effect. Darkened bedroom space? Too dark. Nightlight? The blue light makes them BOTH have night terrors. Sleep aids like sleeping pills or dummies? Stan compares them to the drugs the mental institution gave him and Ford hucks them into the ocean.

Stan's BATSHIT sleep schedule is a constant battle Ford has to fight, but by god is he going to win. Eventually.

That man is the most insecure, and yet stubborn asshole out there. Mr. "I can't do this because I'm stupid" and then just-

Making shit work just cause he NEEDS it to. Kinda reminds me of the character Domino in a way. Thinks they're just extremely lucky, but they're actually a mutant that alters probably and takes OTHER people's luck. I feel like Stanley knows that luck comes and cycles, and he tries to lean into that notion without thinking.

I've been following @aroace-get-out-of-my-face safety alarm au, and I have a few thoughts for Stan lol.

They said magic is about intent, and therefore he isn't very good at it because of his confidence, right? What if he uses the exact same spell over and over, for the WRONG reasons, just because it's easy and it pisses his brother off.

Like that one post with the fix it spell? Using the wrong spell to get the right outcome? Just pointing at a wound and yelling "FIX IT" at the top of his lungs instead of learning a healing spell. And it urks the FUCK out of Ford.

"please Stanley, I could teach you a few healing spells if you could just-"

"FIX IT!!" *Currently pointing at a broken bone and it somehow setting it back into place with a sickening crack.*

mcgucket getting home from a swinger party at 2 in the morning after doing copious amounts of coke trying to act normal circa 1979: hey there squirt what are you doing up?

yes thank you for putting the idea in my head that tate knew about his unfaithfulness the whole time but was told to keep it a secret