Found This Somewhere, Not Mine

bro id love to fall asleep for a long time, and when i wake up ive lost a ton of weight, like a sleeping beauty

school makes me want to fucking kill myself i hate school fuck this stupid rubbish fuck fuck fuck fuck i dont get told i had a fucking assement and now i have my last day of my extention to finish it fuck fuck fuck im going to fucking kill myself i wish i never was fucking alive

My psychiatrist deadpan staring at me as I try to tell her why baking as a hobby means I don't have an eating disorder

my reasons

To look back at when I'm thinking of quitting

Because I need this

To be the prettiest one in the room at all times

For the chance I'll look more masculine and less like a fat girl

To be comfortable in tight clothes

To look pretty in candid photos

To look pretty at all angles

To fit in pants even when I'm sitting and my thighs are squished

So my binder won't roll up all the time and suffocate me

To look pretty in t shirts, getting rid of the bit of fat on my elbows

To look tall and scary like a tim Burton character

To look less childish and less baby faced

So I don't look stupid eating in public

So I don't look like an overgrown baby at the beach or pool

So I don't have rashes on my thighs from walking for so long, since my thighs won't even touch when I walk

So he stops telling me how odd looking and fat my face is

So I can wear headphones without my glasses squishing my face

So I won't be the only one sweating my ass off in a room ever again

So my knee high socks become actually knee high

So I won't have to buy belts online for my huge waist

So I can find a cute piece of clothing and have it fit no matter the size

To be able to wear ANYTHING and still look good

For children's underwear and socks to fit me because they're the most fun kind

For a jaw line

For the collarbones

For the hip bones

For the ribs

For the bones on the back of my hand

To be beautiful.

following someone back and then realizing they’re a teenager and i must block is a gut punch

and some of you that try to follow me are so so so young, it makes me wanna cry

so let me reiterate:

stay away from my diary if your age starts with a 1

i am 25 years old

i am an adult in the workforce

i have a bachelors degree and am pursuing more higher education

we may have one thing in common (ED) but that doesn’t mean we need to share community

form community with people your own age

my blog is for myself and adults only

KEY TO FAST FOOD OUTINGS

🎀 LOVE LOVE LOVE MY ZERO DRINKS 🎀

Stay slim queens

Theres a girl that i met, and shes really cool. I worry that when we meet up irl, she'll think im fat and hideous. that is more horrifying than anything i can imagine. she likes all the music i do and shes so cool, and she likes the way i say her name and shes so kind. shes awesome, but im scared to meet up. ugh

ive been doing awful lately, everythings gone to hell, i dont know whats wrong with me, i need to stop eating entirely to get back the hang of hunger. im going to keep trying to trigger myself with my old early day stuff like tea. i miss my tapid weight loss so bad :((((( im really sad thinking about it i hate this stupid eteral hell

I’m not losing weight

homophobic