DickTim Week Day 4: Body Swap | Dick Having A Revelation

URGH. Emmerich Holyblade and I just went to The Ceremony to receive our RPG Job Titles, and he OBVIOUSLY got Chosen Hero Sword Saint. So now he's gonna set out to kill the Demon Lord of Darkness.

Me? I just got Dark Mage. Honestly, it's pretty rare, but the job opportunities are also limited. You either get into covert assassination or dungeon raiding.

God, just because we're the only two kids in The Village, Emmerich Holyblade automatically assumes this makes us friends. He doesn't even realize I hate him and his stupid smug swordsman ass.

URGGHHHH he just asked me to join his Grand Hero's Party. fuck. I can't just say no if the Grand Holy King himself is gonna payroll us to do this shit. Whatever man. Let's rock till the Demon Lord of Darkness is dead, and then I can retire and never see Emmerich Holyblade again.

“There you are. There’s my Viktor.”

something about glorious ovulation

(cheeky version without shower fog for my patr0ns)

what's the most insane thing you've seen either JC or WWX do for the other one in a fic that wasn't, in any way, chengxian?

reblog or put your answer in the tags please, I'm curious

I'll start: not-interested-in-sex-work JC starting to do irl sex work bc WWX wasn't paying his half of the rent and he didn't want to pressure WWX into keeping jobs WWX didn't want. never telling WWX about it either ofc.

having a lot of thoughts this evening about the classic yunmeng reconciliation trope of “magic plot device forces the jiang cheng sacrifice reveal” running head first into “wei wuxian is canonically The Worst™ at boundaries” and in cql canon literally sticks a mind control talisman on lwj for a prank and it’s never mentioned again

so like. picture this. Jiang Cheng has a secret. no, not that secret, some other secret. something smaller and almost as sad and maybe even a little tawdry??? Jiang Cheng has fucked, is what I’m saying. and there’s some monster who eats virgins and Wei Wuxian is GLEEFUL at the opportunity to SWOOP IN AND SAVE HIS SHIDI, of course he and hanguang-jun will take care of it chengcheng, only for extremely grumpy jiang cheng to red-facedly inform his brother that he is NOT a virgin and he can lead his own night hunts THANK YOU

and the top of wei wuxian’s head comes off

Jiang Cheng. JIANG CHENG. His tiny baby awkward blushing foot-in-mouth shidi. JIANG CHENG. Jiang Cheng who was blacklisted by the matchmakers. Jiang Cheng who was supposed to be SAVING HIMSELF FOR MARRIAGE LIKE A PROPER YOUNG SECT HEIR. jiang cheng has fucked. 

Wei Wuxian has to know. he HAS to know. he is insane. he is bothering jiang cheng CONSTANTLY. he will not shut up. he will never shut up. Jiang Cheng will not know peace until he reveals to Wei Wuxian who dared to sully his precious baby brother with their slutty hands!!!!

but of course it’s like…sad. a few doomed wartime trysts with Nie Mingjue, or a single slow aching fumbling goodbye with Wen Qing who decided she didn’t want to die a virgin, or a few companionable years falling exhausted into bed with Jin Guangyao and/or Qin Su once the boys were FINALLY asleep…or for maximum gut punch, maybe it’s the old standby where Jiang Cheng was raped after his capture. 

the point is, this isn’t a fun funny sexy story for Jiang Cheng, this isn’t an exploit to crow over or an embarrassing but ultimately warm encounter. this is an old, quiet, painful, pointless memory of something tragic that Jiang Cheng still feels miserable about, and also thinks he’s pathetic for feeling miserable, and also it’s fucking private. so no matter how much WWX whines and wheedles and threatens and cajoles and begs, he won’t tell. he gets angry and snappish at first, and then instead of cracking, he just starts retreating into himself and not responding to WWX any more, which is, obviously, UNacceptable!!! 

the minute the evil not-unicorn is dead wwx invents a truth talisman in a 76-hour frenzy, slams it on jiang cheng’s back, and gets more than he bargained for

Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng’s (Lack of) Brotherhood

In fanfiction, it is extremely frequent to see Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng refer to one another as “brother”, either in dialogue, or described as such through the narrative. This always struck me as hitting the wrong note, because in the actual narrative of Mo Dao Zu Shi there is not a single instance where the word “brother” is used to refer to one another, not even once.

Yet it is obvious why fanfics go there. It does fittingly describe the nature of their relationship. Wei Wuxian was brought back to Yunmeng by Jiang Fengmian to be raised by him in a way that looks much more like an adoption than anything. It is probable that the main reason that he didn’t formally adopt Wei Wuxian was because Yu Ziyuan would never have stood by it. Despite her opposition and her worry that Wei Wuxian might usurp Jiang Cheng’s place as heir to the sect, it is obvious that Wei Wuxian wasn’t treated as a servant (as the son of a servant) or as a simple disciple. He was part of the family unit in more ways than not, and they grew up close and their relationship displayed a kind of intimacy and rivalry that is typical of brotherhood.

Keep reading

Menaces. Me and @linddzz talking about the terrible habits of our favourite twig boys let to this.

s1 viktor + s2 jayce, a developing modern classic

Your Result:

white

you are the one that can discern the truth of the shades; for it does not matter how well you compliment them, how much you love them, want them, or need them, the universe will do as it wishes regardless and you are irrevocably two sides of the same cursed coin. you have never fallen harder for anyone than right now, and it is a downfall you should've seen coming but failed to anticipate, so perhaps you wish that you'd never met them at all or at least got the choice to care that much less. your love is made of subtlety, hidden between lines and tucked between your teeth. you've lost and won all the same. is it painful to grit the bones so and lower the gaze as you do? does concealing the truth make it any further from the reality of your unfortunate affliction? you know that the narrative is on no one's side. you know that there is no such thing as doomed from the start, only chances that kill and destroy. you know your luck is bad, that fortune is your true peril. you think that they are the only good thing you've ever gotten until they leave you too, alone, as is typical for your story. you are a few steps away from the end and beginning at all times. you have committed to memory their every wave, every smile, every death. you are trying and trying, again and again, and there is nothing more to be said. your character arc is limited, stunted to the cage of repetition, trapped in your own ability to progress and grow. if you are stuck on them forever, nothing will ever happen. then why, they will ask, do you keep coming back to the start with a love worn look in your eyes? when you love, you love with a persistence you don't know what to do with.

so, here's a long quiz because it's been a while. i will probably do one for the doomed yuri black and pink girls as well when i can get around to it. also, thanks for all the attention to my alien stage ones, it's really appreciated and motivates me to keep making these <3