The Only Thing You Need To Know About The Batman Movie Is That This Bruce Is Dumb Enough, Emo Enough,

Teen Bruce (actually just me projecting lol sorry y'all)

Bruce: *gets thrown a condom in the middle of class by a classmate* wtf do you expect me to do with this???? Like I have a gf??? Or a dick?

--

Bruce, *internally*: Maybe if I sit really still the teacher will forget I'm here and I won't have to take the exam

--

Barbara: what kind of music are ya listening to?

Jason: radio static, because it's the only thing that accurately portrays my thoughts and feelings about this prison of a reality

Bruce: amen kiddo ill drink to that

--

Bruce: this literally tastes like ass

Ollie: how would you know what ass tastes like lol?

Bruce: you've SEEN my snapchat Oliver, figure it out.

--

Bruce, *texting*: alfie pls come pick me up before I eat a fourth orange

Ok but pattinson!batman in the justice league would be hilarious. like he would be a stoic, confident, strong minded scary leader who would be quiet and smart and everyone would respect him but than if he had to take of the cowl he would be some young guy with make up, unable to make eye contact, stammering about and nearly bursting into tears immediately because people could see him

Wally: Bitch you will not believe the day I've had

Dick: Bitch you will not believe the life I've lived

Tony: Kid, why do you have bruises on your neck??

Peter, too embarrassed to say that he fell down the stairs: ummm... hickeys??

Tony: the fu- KEENER GET YOUR SORRY ASS HERE RIGHT NOW!!!

Peter: wtf???

Sooo... this is something that won't leave my head.

We know in the Batman Animated Series, Bruce was training under Giovanni, right? And he knew Zatanna.

Well, in the Young Justice universe, Bruce was little Zana's babysitter when Giovanni and his wife were busy with their performances.

Zatanna Zatara is the first child to give Bruce grey hairs.

I dare you to change my mind. 😉

Actually ... don't 😊

batman / bruce wayne icons, pt. 1!

from justice league unlimited, S01E03: kid stuff © warner bros. && dc comics

free to edit, please reblog or like if you use them!

Loki: I'm lowkey awesome

Peter: ₒₕ! ₕᵢ ₘᵣ. ₗₒₖᵢ ₐwₑₛₒₘₑ

Loki: No that's not what I-

Peter: *confused puppy dog eyes*

Loki: -am Lowkey awesome, aren't I?

honestly bruce wayne putting on those black sunglasses while being inside his gothic manor was peak cinema

People think the batfamily wear gloves as to not leave fingerprints. This is incorrect. They actually wear gloves to stop their fingernail polish from chipping.

listen listen listen i GET the humor and the delight of bruce being awkward mumble autism dad to baby Dick Grayson but also after that first week or so? the magic thing about having kids as an autistic parent is that sometimes they sort of just. rewire your boundaries and become exceptions. like sensory overload? still happens. but the kid can crawl all over me some days even if i don't want anyone else to touch me. my socially avoidant, quiet in public autistic husband? he is LOUD with our kids. they have their own entire culture of in-jokes and puns.

so what i'm saying is, i love mumblecore autism bruce. i do. but i also think the galaxy brain take is when Dick Grayson slips in as his exception. the person who doesn't exactly count as "socializing," that he has jokes with and talks to sometimes for hours (mixed with those long silences), and spends a lot of time carrying around on his back when Dick is clingy. it doesn't need to completely change him or how he acts in public, but he can also be comfortable enough to have fun with Dick Grayson, quiet or loud.