cregan stark is the type of man to write long, passionate love letters detailing his intense yearning and longing for the object of his affection.
the letters are, of course, unsent...but when the longing takes over, he will sit and read them beside the fire, picturing his beloveds visage.
heavy in your arms. part one.
— pairing: aemond targaryen x fem!reader
— type: part of a series
— summary: aemond seeks to right the wrong his mother made in rejecting the proposition of a betrothal between you & he.
— word count: 2,473
— tagging list: @emilynissangtr @aemondwhoresworld @callsignwidow @tvangelism
— a/n: welcome to the first installment in my aemond x sg au! (NOT the dark!aemond au (which will be titled idumea, if/when i ever write it.))
“Why did you reject it?” Aemond demands, barging into his mother’s chambers unannounced.
She pads across the room toward him with clasped hands. She needn’t ask what it is her son is referring to, specifically, to already know.
Nor does she need inquire as to how he knows. The bastard girl he’s had an obsession with since the day she was born is most-certainly to blame.
She’s allowed them to keep company with one another for too long, it now seems. Such behaviors will cease today.
She gives him a forced, gentle smile. She knows his temper can be as hot as dragonfire when stoked, especially when it comes to his niece. If he makes a scene, she’ll simply have Ser Criston escort him back to his chambers.
She seats herself, gently patting the cushion next to her. “Sit.”
He comes closer, but does not accept her offer—instead choosing to remain standing, his arms positioned behind his back, his chin raised as he stands across from her. “Answer the question.”
A pause.
“Mother.”
She sighs heavily. “She is not a suitable match for you. In time, your father and I will find someone more…appropriate—”
“More appropriate than mine own niece? My blood? A princess? One whom I already love and adore? I think not.”
She opens her mouth to to reply, but he continues.
“I won’t allow you to come between us. She belongs with me. You—you cannot take this chance—”
Having had enough, she cuts his protestations short. “It is done, Aemond! You know what she is! All do! It is why her mother optioned her own children for betrothal to mine; to protect them from what she has done by shielding them with either you, or Aegon, or Helaena!”
She sighs, before running her fingers exasperatedly through her hair. “I do not fault the girl for the circumstances of her birth; she cannot help it. I know this. But, as your mother, it is my job—my responsibility—to ensure you have what is best for you. Which she, unfortunately, is not. Were it so that Laenor were undoubtedly her father, things would be different, but alas.”
His small hands are bunched into tight fists behind him now, his body trembling with rage.
“Give it time,” she tells him quietly. “Once you are older, you with either find on your own, or with mine and your father’s help, a proper betrothal.”
He knows what he must do.
He nods, calmly, shoulders slumping slightly. “Forgive me, mother. You just…know how I care for her. I was not…did not think—”
She stands, walking around to him, taking him in her arms. “I wish I could give you this, my son, but your well-being means more to me than your wants at this time. One day, when you have children of your own, you will understand.”
The two of them pull away from each other, Alicent grasping the crowns of his shoulders, while Aemond rests his hands on her waist.
He gives her a smile of understanding. “I’m sure that I will.”
She gives him a kiss on the cheek, and with that, he leaves her.
Her greatest mistake will’ve always been not ordering Ser Criston to follow him back to his chambers. For they were never his destination.
“Your son, Your Grace: the Prince Aemond,” announces Ser Harrold from the doorway of Viserys’ room.
Aemond finds his father seated upon a settee before a roaring fire, a blanket draped comfortably over his lap, a stack of books set upon a table next to him.
Viserys smiles as the boy steps closer, bowing his head to his father.
“Your Grace.”
Viserys bookmarks, then shuts his current read, settling it into his lap. He waves Aemond over, who seats himself beside him, watching the crackling fire before them for just a moment.
“Is there something I can do for you, my son? Or did you merely come to keep your old man company?” He asks with a gentle smile.
Aemond knows he needs word this carefully. “Both, in truth.”
Viserys remains silent, waiting for him to continue.
“I know…”
He pauses.
“I know you wish to see us settled, father, just as you did Rhaenyra. Properly betrothed, at the very least. So you might… It may give you comfort. To know that we are content, that is. I cannot speak for my siblings—what, or who they may want this day or another, but I know who I desire for all the rest of mine.”
He meets his father’s eyes. “Y/N.”
Viserys settles back, studying him with an unreadable expression.
“I am aware, that, just this afternoon, mother—Her Grace—rejected an offer of betrothals of her own children to those of your daughter—my eldest sister—Princess Rhaenyra. I want you to reconsider. For my sake and Y/N’s, if no one else’s. We love each other. We always have, and I know that we always shall. I cannot…I cannot bear the thought of a life without her. I will never love another as I love her.”
He swallows thickly. “She cried in my arms when she told me that her hopes that her mother’s offer would be accepted had instead been refuted. And her heart, in turn, was shattered. Along with mine own.”
He takes his father’s weathered hand in his own. “I beg of you, father, please. Please do this. Give her to me and I to her. So we might be pronounced man and wife when you deem the time right once we’ve come of age. I’ve never asked you for anything. But I do this. I’ll do anything you say.”
He swallows. “I know your family means more to you than anything else.”
He has oftentimes felt the opposite with how indifferent he can seem to he and his siblings, but he must keeps such sentiments to himself. Now more than ever, even if he has craved his love and approval many-a-time in the past.
He continues, plotting with his words. Planting a most comely idea. “Were you to betroth us, she and I would not only be able to remain together, but also here. Your son, your granddaughter. Your only granddaughter. If you wished it, this would be our home for the rest of our days. I know it would make her most happy. And that is all I’ve ever wanted: to bring her joy. To make her feel safe. And loved. Just as she has done for me.”
Aemond knows he has said much, but he had to stress his wants—had to ensure that his father was assured of his love and commitment to you. Especially with having gone directly over his mother’s head, so to speak.
Viserys is quiet. For awhile.
Aemond keeps his father’s hand in his lap, holding firmly to it, so as to keep them close. He hopes he will be more likely to accept his request that way.
Finally, Viserys looks at him. “You truly love her, don’t you?”
Aemond smiles, nodding. “More than anything in all the world. It would ruin—destroy—me to think of us being permanently parted and one day married to others that we do not know. Did not grow up alongside of as the greatest of friends. We are family. To be forced to wed someone else that neither of us loves, while we remain yearning for the other until our last breaths…”
Tears brim in his eyes and his chin wobbles.
Viserys’ face falls as he pulls Aemond into his side. “And you are sure that she wishes this as well?”
Aemond perks up slightly. “I am. You may summon and ask her yourself if you wish, father. When I left her she was crying in her mother’s arms. I had to…right this. For us both.”
Viserys shakes his head lightly at such a heartbreaking image. So much pain and young heartbreak, and for what?
He will have it otherwise.
“Consider it done, my son.”
Aemond looks at him with wide eyes. “We—We are—”
Viserys cups the boy’s cheek. “As of this moment, the two of you are now betrothed.”
He glances toward the door, placing his hand in his lap once more. “I will need speak with your sister on the matter, of course. But I know that she will be most pleased with this arrangement.”
He pauses. “Your mother not quite so, but it is not her decision. I am king. She is to obey me in all things. Including this.”
Viserys had been correct in Rhaenyra being happy about such arrangements, while you and Aemond had held one another and cried tears of joy.
Viserys had held back his own as he watched the two of you with a smile, while holding his daughter’s hand.
“This is a most joyous day. It is not often—hardly ever—that those of our stations should ever marry for love. With much luck, such a thing may be found later from arranged engagements. It warms this old heart to know that the two of you have it now, and shall remain with it in-hand for the rest of your days.”
It is then that Alicent emerges into his chambers, his summons for her presence having reached her.
And her disposition is anything but pleased.
“Your Grace—” She starts, panicked tears stinging her eyes as she swallows down the lump in her throat. “If we may speak—”
Viserys shakes his head, resting each of his hands upon his cane. “There is naught to speak of, my wife. I have made a decision, and it is final.”
“Viserys—” She starts, reaching toward him, but he steps closer toward Rhaenyra, toward the two happy children who cling to one another, who stare at Alicent with…apprehension? Fright that she may ruin what they have only just found? He is unsure, but what he is, is that he will not stand for it.
“Your King has made a betrothal, and it is your duty to respect it. It is done, Alicent. And it is final. I would have my son and granddaughter wed to ones that they love. And now they shall gain as much once they’ve each come of age. It is only a matter of time now.”
She solidifies herself, her heart pounding, and a painful queasiness forms in the pit of her stomach, as she sees just how outnumbered she is.
She has always been.
Has always been alone in this world, and will remain as much.
And she sees further agency slipping through her fingers now. Her children she’d been forced to squeeze out of her young body, for an ungrateful man who hardly ever acknowledged them, is now to tell her what is to become of them? Is to give her yet one more command because she is what? Still yet a girl helpless to tell him no, despite all she has given him, whether she wished it or no? That is all that has ever mattered, isn’t it: what he wants? All else be damned.
No. She is Queen. A woman grown…even if she still so often feels otherwise. Has consistently since the death of her mother. The one person in all the world who loved her the way she needed be loved.
She will show her children that same devotion, even if they hate her for it. Because she knows what is best for them. Not him.
Doesn’t she?
“I will not have it.”
Viserys lowers his chin. “I beg your pardon?”
She takes a small step closer, clasping her hands tighter to hide how they tremble.
“He is my son just as much as he is yours. I carried him. Grew him in mine own womb. Pushed him out of my body and into the world. While you have shirked your duties to him as his father. Pushed he and his siblings aside in favor of—”
“That is enough!” Viserys shouts, slamming his cane against the floor, and Alicent’s chin wobbles in fright.
She wishes her father were here.
No.
Perhaps she doesn’t. He is to blame for this. For all of it.
She wants for her mother.
What if Aemond one day feels the same because of this? Because she did not try hard enough to undo it? He is but a boy. He does not know what he wants.
What if she has…failed him?
Viserys comes toward her, his cane clicking loudly against polished marble floors, his cloak swaying around him. “That is quite enough, wife. That is an order from your King! Is that understood?”
She merely stares at him for only a moment, wondering if he has ever held an ounce of love for her within his heart.
Why in Seven Hells did he marry her? She has often wondered. Wondered even more if she will ever have answer to such a terrible question.
“The Prince Aemond—my son—and the Princess Y/N—my granddaughter—are henceforth betrothed. If I discover further dissension on your part in dishonoring my wishes and my decree here today…”
He takes yet another step closer, forcing her to look up at him, making her feel impossibly smaller.
Like a frightened little girl, indeed.
“You shall not enjoy the consequences. Do I make myself clear?”
She does not know why she does it—she too is equally responsible for all the misfortune which has befell her, and part of her hates her for it—but she glances to Rhaenyra with tears still shimmering in her eyes.
Rhaenyra takes a near-undetectable step toward her—expression unreadable—but stops when she feels you clutching her skirts for comfort, Aemond holding you close for the same.
Her own son has betrayed her. Where had she gone wrong?
She wants to lock herself in her chambers and rest. Perhaps not to wake.
That, she’s sure, would most please the man who stands before her. The pathetic excuse for one.
And yet she knows that come tomorrow, she will return to her role as a dutiful wife, because since she was fifteen years old…it is all she has ever been. She knows naught else what to be than caretaker. A wife, a womb, a concubine.
A ghost.
She’d once been and had a friend, but now she thinks those days must long be past.
Finally, Alicent nods solemnly, digging at her nail-beds.
Viserys nods. “Good. Then it is settled.”
Aemond presses a kiss to your forehead, filled with equal parts joy and guilt.
He prays his mother will one day come to see what he himself does when he looks at you. He cannot understand how she does not already.
If she loves him, she will love you as well.
He hopes so, at least. He would not have you feeling unwelcome in your own home. He will not have it.
You are now his to protect, and protect he shall. In every way he can.
Osamu Miya (23) owner of Onigiri Miya, your hand in marriage PLEASE
this tweet was the inspo btw:
“I love you”… “It’ll pass”
GOD FLEABAG BROKE ME
i had a vision
MOTHER: now eat your vegetables honey so you can grow up big and strong
WOKE SON: i dont WANT to grow up big and strong. i want to be a Twink
Single father!Cregan Stark x reader
Summary: the reader comes across a young boy. It seems the boy's worried father becomes quite taken with her.
A/n: He's got cheekbones sharp enough to kill a man 👀
Masterlist
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She gasped when something grabbed her leg.
The lady looked down to see a small boy, no older than two, holding her leg tightly. "Oh."
She ran a hand over the boy's hair as she looked around for someone, anyone in the crowd—his parents or her guard. Neither were in sight, it seemed.
So she managed to pry him away enough to bend down to his level.
"Where are your parents?" She whispered to him.
When he didn't answer, she brushed his hair back from his forehead. "That's alright. We'll find them, yeah? They must be missing you fearsomely. What is your name?"
The boy stared with watery eyes.
"Well," the lady continued, "Will you let me help you?"
The boy managed a nod and accepted the hug she offered him.
She thanked the merchant that she had been speaking to and picked up the boy, now focusing her attention on the people rather than the goods they were selling.
Darkish hair, she assumed from the boy's looks. Someone with blue eyes. Surely he was precious to someone.
"Hey," she lightly reprimanded when he tucked his face into her neck. "I need you to look for them. I don't know what…" Her voice trailed off. The boy was tired and scared and she could hardly blame him.
She roamed the long street once over, just looking for someone that lost their child. A worrisome mother or a stern father. But nothing.
She sighed, rubbing the boy's back, "Father won't like this."
She continued on as before, shopping lightly with the boy in her arms. Her heart was warmed by the soft snores that came from his small body.
She walked down the cobble road, noticing a guard whose eyes lit up at the sight of her. It sent her on edge. She turned the other way.
Another guard was coming from that direction. She froze.
Trying another way, she tried to use the crowd to manage around them, but was met with another guard, quite literally running into him. She backed up in fear, her free hand over the boy's head as if she could protect him.
"Hand over the boy, my lady."
They looked so angry. "N-No." She tried to display confidence but that's hardly was she accomplished. "Whatever the boy did, I can pay for-"
"My lady!" Her guard's voice came through.
Her guard, Ser Marten, pushed through the guards and the crowd that seemed to not even notice the chaos that was happening.
He pulled an arm around her. "Are you alright, my lady?"
She nodded and looked at the other guards. Her eyes flitted down to the sigil that laid on their cloaks.
Stark.
She feared Lord Stark was more cruel than she made him out to be, having three grown men chase down a small boy.
"I won't ask again. Hand over the boy," one of the guards tried again.
"Ser," Ser Marten tried to ease. "Whatever the boy has done can be paid-"
The guard behind her reached out and wrapped a hand around the back of her neck.
Ser Marten's eyes widened, and he pulled his sword from its sheath. "Unhand her."
"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?" A loud voice echoed through the street.
The crowd practically split in two as the great Lord Cregan Stark ran to them. "Where-" He paused. "You've found him, my lady?"
Her brow furrowed. "W-What?"
"Unhand her and go," Cregan barked at the guards. "And you," he ordered Ser Marten, "Do sheath your sword. I'll not have violence on my streets."
Ser Marten blinked and did as he said.
"You may go as well."
Marten looked between the two, only stepping back at the sight of his lady's nod.
With him gone, she felt vulnerable.
Cregan held his arms out, expecting her to hand him the boy.
She turned away from him out of instinct, shielding the boy. "I-"
He frowned. "My lady." He extended his arms further.
"Whatever he's done, my lord, I can pay for. I am not the richest and I hardly know what House Stark would want, but I can try. Please, don't hurt him."
Cregan's mouth opened in a reaction of shock. He tilted his head. She was more than meets the eye. "My lady, I am only a worried father. Please."
A feeling of embarrassment filled her stomach. "Oh." She pulled the boy out in her arms, seeing that, indeed, the Sigil of house Stark laid on the boy's chest. "Oh, forgive me!"
Cregan took his son with caring hands, careful not to wake him. "Oh, my boy," he sighed as he held him close to his chest. "Gods, I've never felt fear like this." He closed his eyes, not caring if he seemed weak for a moment. He was a terrified father and he wasn't afraid to seem it.
"Do forgive me, my lord. I-I didn't not realize-"
"-You did not realize that you held my future, the future of the North, in your arms?" He let out a breath of a laugh. "I owe you greatly." He looked down at the sigil on her cloak. "Lady Bolton? Are you Lord Bolton's new wife?"
She flushed. "No. NO. I am his daughter." She smoothed down her skirt in embarrassment.
"Ah, forgive me. I thought his second wife was young. Perhaps I was mistaken."
"You weren't," she assured. "She's not much my elder. An honest mistake."
"But you are still of House Bolton? Unmarried, I mean?" He asked.
"Yes, as of the current time, yes."
He nodded with the information. "Strange to see a childless woman with such motherly instincts. He seemed quite content with you."
"He was quite frightened to be alone."
Cregan hummed. "Let me reward you. You've protected my boy and returned him to me."
"No, I couldn't-"
"-Nonsense. It's the very least I could do."
She watched the boy stir in the large man's arms. His tiny hand gripped Cregan's fur cloak tightly, as if finally feeling the full comfort of his home again. "Knowing I've done you a service is gratitude enough for me."
"Please." He looked around. "Are you alone, my lady? Surely I would have heard of Lord Bolton's arrival before this."
She nodded. "I come to the market every few months. This is the only place I've found dried lavender. Father says I have an obsession," she laughs. "Perhaps so. But I'm old enough now of course to journey alone. With my guard."
"And have you found it this time?"
"Hmm?"
"The lavender?"
"Oh. Um," she looks around. "No, I haven't."
Cregan sighs. "That's a shame. Are you sure you won't accept a reward?"
She smiles. "Truly. I am sure." She reached out to brush the boy's hair, but stops herself when she realizes how inappropriate that is now that she knows it's Stark's son. "G'day, Lord Stark."
He stops her before she can turn to leave. "Lady Bolton. Do I get a first name?"
"Y/n."
He repeats it, as if committing it to memory. "Good day, my lady. I won't forget your kindness."
…
Cregan was honest about that. He didn't forget her kindness.
…
"My lady."
Her handmaiden interrupts her quiet time.
"There's a gift for you, my lady."
Her eyes lit up. "What? From who?"
"I'm not sure. Shall I bring it in?"
She nodded and watched the woman disappear for a moment before reappearing with a small cloth sack.
She took the bag with nimble fingers, pulling it open.
Dried Lavender.
A small letter laid inside, sealed with wax, but no sigil.
A small gift to represent my gratitude. - A relieved father
She let out a breath. How thoughtful of him to scour the market for this, even after she was unable to find it.
"Who is it from, my lady?"
"Just a man I helped back in Winterfell."
"Well, how thoughtful."
Yes, she thought, Cregan Stark was quite the thoughtful man.
…
Cregan sat at his council meeting, his boy, Rickon, sitting in his lap, tapping his wooden horse against the table as he played with it. The northern lord hardly noticed the sound at this point, the boy's antics becoming second nature to him.
"I agree, my lord," one of his councilmen spoke, "perhaps that would be best for the North."
A servant interrupted. "Forgive me, my lord. But it's a letter."
Cregan's mind snapped as he looked up. "Is it? Hand it here."
The servant walked it over to him and dismissed himself.
Cregan's fingers brushed over the wax.
The Bolton sigil.
He could practically feel his hands shake as he opened it.
My heart is lightened at the news of your relief. I thank you for your gift. It was more gracious than I fear I deserved. I'll remain in awe of how you managed to find exactly what I had failed to. My house, my father, and I as well, remain loyal to you. - Y/n Bolton
"My lord?" One of the men asked lightly.
Cregan looked up from the letter. "Write urgently to Lord Bolton. I have an offer."
Cregan tutted lightly when Rickon reached out for the letter. "Easy, son. This is your father's keepsake."
…
My dear lady, I fear writing yet another letter to you may be deemed inappropriate to some, but they do not understand the kinship we share. My son grows by the day, and still, I remember the day you and I met so starkly. Take this gift, and dare I ask that you think of me when you wear it. - A content father
The bottom of the letter was all scribbles and scratches from the quill, no doubt something that his son had added. It made her heart warm, like perhaps maybe the babe was trying to say something to her as well.
Her eyes wandered to the dress that he had gifted. A Stark blue. She thought it perhaps a bit too bold for the man, but she wouldn't deny his wishes.
Her father may question it, but he couldn't refuse such a thing.
She took out a quill.
…
I am starting to believe that you have overdone your gratitude. I fear as a young lady, I have not much to give, but perhaps it is true that the thought of a gift is greater than the price or amount of the object itself. I find that this specific type of fabric strips make for wonderful ties for the hair. I mean no harm, but I did notice the way you grew annoyed at the hair in your eyesight when we met. I'm going to send this now before I realize the intent of my actions and grow embarrassed. Do tell your son I enjoyed his drawings per your last letter. - Y/n Bolton
Cregan held the fabric strips in his hand, rubbing the soft material.
How ink on a page could make his heart feel alive, he wasn't sure.
…
Cregan spent the next two days in contemplation.
While he wanted to immediately write her back, he knew that he should wait. The letter to her father surely arrived at that point, and he didn't wish to seem overly hasty.
But when another letter from her arrived, he almost ripped it in earnest to view its contents.
I fear our letters must come to an end. My father had spoken of a marriage proposal and it seems quite unladylike to be writing such letters. Though we two know of our kinship, I fear it is unfair to my future betrothed. Please forgive me, and know that this was not of my choosing. - Y/n
He paused at her lack of a last name.
She wrote as if she had no idea. Her father hadn't told her the entire truth.
He leaned back in his chair and placed his hands over his eyes. He wanted to ease her worries, tell her the truth, but it was not yet his place, and he was to wait for her father's response.
But it ate at him. What if Bolton was truly marrying her to another? It made him sick.
There was a sound in the doorway.
Cregan looked up to see Rickon standing with his toy on ground, obviously fallen from his hand. He smiled at him, "Hello, son."
Rickon took his time leaning down to get his horse, then took steps around the long table until he got to his father.
Cregan waited patiently, not wanting to rush or correct his boy, but once Rickon was close enough, he reached out and held him up in the air. The little son's squeals filled him with joy. He brought him down to kiss the boy's cheek then set him on his lap to face him. "What have you been doing, my boy?"
Rickon set his horse on Cregan's chest, his attention enamored on it.
The lord brushed his son's hair from his face with a longing look. "Think I'll get to hear that voice anytime soon?"
Rickon hit his horse against the man's chest, causing a sigh to come from his father.
"Well, maybe eventually, hm?"
Everything sat in such uncertainty. He only hoped that it all worked out as he had planned it.
........................................
A/n: part two in underway
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summary: a collection of shared moments between you and eren.
w/c: 1.3k
—
2:29 am
“What’s your favourite thing in the world?” Eren asks. You ponder the question briefly, your silence making Eren twist his head toward you. He lay on his stomach, you on your side, and your hand on his bare back.
“I don’t know,” You say eventually, running your nails up and down his spine. Sparse goosebumps coat his hot skin, and it’s one of the few times you’re reminded that he’s real.
Eren scoffs softly. “That’s awkward. I was going to say you,” he laughs, the darkness blanketing his pink cheeks.
“Well,” You say. “You said thing. You’re not a thing, you’re so much more than just a thing, Ren. I don’t know about my favourite thing, but you’re my favourite person.”
“Well,” Eren mocks. “You’re my favourite person and thing in the entire world.”
You bite back a laugh. “Okay, thanks, Ren.”
—
9:58 pm
The only sounds in the diner are the distant clink of ceramic plates and the buzzing of the light overhead.
“Remind me what we’re doing here again?” You mumble, chasing the straw around the glass with your mouth. Eren sighs and reaches across the table to grasp the red and white straw between his thumb and pointer finger, holding it still for you. You hum in thanks, closing your lips around it, looking at him expectantly.
“Thought it’d be cute, but it's kinda dead,” He purses his lips, eyes scanning the empty red booths that line the restaurant's walls.
Eren’s slumped back in the booth, his legs outstretched under the table, knees bumping into yours, though he doesn’t care to move them.
“I would ask if I could have a sip of your milkshake, but you downed it like a child,” You chide, your upturned lips betraying your false annoyance.
Eren shrugs one shoulder. “Can you blame me? I was thirsty. Yours, on the other hand…”
You roll your eyes and push your glass across the table, watching as Eren ignores the straw entirely and brings the lip of the glass to his mouth. Before he drinks, he raises an eyebrow in a silent question, to which you sigh and nod.
And then your milkshake is finished too.
—
12:45 pm
“What did you get for question 5?” Eren mumbles, eyes squinting at the paper he holds in his hands.
You look down at your practice test paper, eyes scanning back to the 5th question. “H+.”
“H— huh?” Eren furrows his eyebrows and holds the paper up in front of his face. “H+?” He whispers.
He mumbles the question back to himself. “Pyruvate dehydrogenase complex… oxidises pyruvate… blah, blah, by removing what?... He+. It’s He+, baby.”
“Eren,” You call softly, drawing him out of frustration. “Let me help you—”
“No!” He suddenly says, shaking his head. “I want to do these by myself.”
You nod, head downturned to read your next question. Although, as the minutes pass, it’s difficult to concentrate when Eren keeps sighing, and his pen repeatedly hits the table.
“Ren, could you please—” And when you go to look at him, the sudden scrunching of paper makes you jump, causing you to look up faster.
After making his practice test a ball, Eren shoves the paper into his mouth. The shock on your face makes him laugh, the sound muffled.
“Eren!” You scold, giggling in surprise and disgust, standing and leaning over the table to remove the wad from his mouth. “Stop that.”
You look to your right at the other students in the library, not wanting to disturb them. After dropping the damp paper ball on the table, you go to sit back down, but Eren throws his arms around your shoulders.
“I can't bare this any longer!” He exclaims, nuzzling his face into your neck.
Your hand circles his head to run your fingers through his hair. “Okay, you big baby. Let’s get lunch.”
“I knew I loved you for a reason!”
—
4:23 pm
“Can you shave my beard?”
You lift your head from where you were focused on your laptop screen. “What?”
Eren huffs and stalks closer to where you sit on the couch. “Can. You. Shave. My. Beard?”
“What beard?” You furrow your eyebrows as you squint at your boyfriend’s jaw. “There’s literally nothing there, Ren.”
“There is! Look,” He bounds over to you, stopping a breath away from your face, pointing at the left side of his jaw. It is true. There is stubble.
You sigh. “It’s like a millimetre of hair, there’s nothing to shave.”
Eren pulls back abruptly. “Hey! It’s a millimetre more than Connie's. Now come on!”
You now sit on the counter, next to the bathroom sink, a disposable razor in your hand, as you watch Eren lather the bottom half of his face with shaving cream.
He looks in the mirror as he does so, concentration etched between his eyebrows. He’s meticulous with the cream, ensuring it doesn’t go beyond the areas of stubble.
“Don’t think too hard. You’ll hurt yourself,” You tease, softly kicking his thigh with your foot.
“Shhhhh…” He hushes, quickly rinsing his hands under the tap. After, he moves between your open legs, standing with his eyes closed, ready for you to begin. He places his hands on your thighs, rubbing up and down.
When he doesn’t feel the razor on his face, Eren cracks open an eye to peek at you. “Any day now.”
But when he sees the bashful look on your face and the sparkle in your eye, he can’t help but blush.
“What?” He whispers, growing all the more shy under your gaze.
“You’re just so pretty,” You sigh, bringing your hand around his neck to pull him closer to you. His nose bumps yours, and you already anticipate the shaving cream war that will ensue the minute you do something, but you can’t bring yourself to care.
“Shut up,” Eren mumbles, pressing his lips against yours.
—
7:19 am
“Let’s go for a run,” You smile as you stand up from the bed.
“What?” Eren yawns, throwing his elbow over his eyes. “You wanna join me on my run?”
“Yeah, it’ll be fun.”
“Baby, no offence,” Eren starts, peaking at you from under his arm. “But have you ever run in your life?”
You scoff, throwing a stray throw pillow at his head. “Sports in my youth counts!”
“Ugh, fine. But I’m not carrying you.”
And that’s how you found yourself a quarter of a mile behind Eren as he jogs on the spot, waiting for you to catch up.
“Come on, baby! I believe in you! Pump those legs,” He yells, arms in the air. You scowl at him, breathing ragged as you willed yourself to keep going.
But just as you go to hop onto the curb from the road, your ankle betrays you, causing your body to falter and fall to the ground.
You don’t miss Eren’s cackle before he’s approaching you. “No way…”
“Fuck off.”
Eren holds his hand out for you to take, a cheeky grin on his face. “We’ll go home now.”
You reluctantly take his hand before he pulls you up. But as soon as you do so, your ankle buckles underneath you. When you sway, Eren’s arm wraps around your waist.
“Easy,” He mutters, peering down at your injured foot.
Then he huffs and picks both of your arms up, turns around, and puts them on his shoulders. “Come on, hop on.”
You smile smugly, the dull ache in your foot making you wince as you jump onto his back after he crouches down. Eren’s arms circle your thighs, and you shuffle up his back, your face next to his.
You place a kiss below his ear. “Thanks, bro.”
Eren rolls his eyes and scoffs. “Call me that again, and you’re walking home.”
“Sorry, bro,” You giggle when he loosens his grip on your legs, making you tighten your arms around his neck.
He didn’t make you walk home.
parts: previously plot: alfred finds yours and bruce's old yearbook. you reminisce on how you lost him... and how he came back to you all those years later. pairing: battinson!bruce wayne x gn!reader. cw: arranged marriage, friends to enemies to (fake) lovers, implied history between reader and bruce, LOTS of angst, eventual fluff, TW for depictions of brief physical child abuse (specifically to the reader), sorry but your fictional mom SUCKS, sweet ending though. words: 3.5k. a/n: I apologize to any british readers for inaccuracies with the whole yearbook thing. from what I gather, the american concept of yearbooks has gotten popular in the uk in the last 14-ish years but if it doesn't make sense, I'm hiding behind the fact that it's a posh boarding school and also- *runs away before I can think of a better excuse*
The rapping at your door is too gentle to be Bruce, and you're proven right when Alfred peeks into your room, "I hope I'm not interrupting anything."
Bruce's guest room had steadily become your home over the course of your engagement. You still had your own place, paying the rent in case all of this fell through in one fell swoop (and it would, you couldn't escape the nagging feeling that it would), but you found yourself feeling some semblance of ownership over the tower. You hadn't even gotten the chance to put your desk up before Bruce was offering you his study—his father's study. He insisted it was because you were CEO, like his father. You dared to think it was because he was starting to see you as family.
The tower felt even more yours when Alfred stopped by like this, checking in on you, making sure you wanted him here. You set the papers in your lap to the side with a tired smile, "What's up, Alfred?"
It turns out he was hiding something behind the door. At first, you think it's a folder, perhaps some work that Bruce needed you to do for the company or some files Alfred kept from his time managing Wayne Enterprises. But when he comes round to your bedside, you realize it's a photo album. A yearbook, to be exact.
The green leather is embellished with the sparkling emblem of Silverstone Academy. It makes your heart jump up into your throat, "Where... where'd you find that?"
"After Bruce graduated, he had me put all of his old yearbooks away in storage. Kept this one, though. Would you like to see?" He turns the book to you with a well-meaning smile, and whether he notices your discomfort and chooses to ignore it is... debatable.
Still, your hands reach for it.
The spine crackles, unopened for many years by the looks of it. You thumb through the pages, flipping past pictures of the palatial school grounds and fellow classmates in freshly-pressed regalia. You're about to turn the page on the extracurriculars when Alfred places a hand on the page to stop you, pointing to a rather large group photo, "This was Bruce's favorite, if I recall."
There are rows of you, each one standing on the bleachers of a court, all of you awkward and fourteen and just wanting the whole thing over with. And then there, amongst the rows of smiling teenagers, is Bruce and you.
"Eyes front, students! I will not say this again. We want to look good for our parents, yes? We want them to see how smart and well-behaved you are, yes? Okay, then. Eyes forward. Shoulders back. Smiles on! This is your last chance. There will be no retakes!" Is what your headmaster probably said, but you were far too distracted by Bruce's fingers tugging on the tail of your un-tucked shirt to know for sure.
You bat away his hand but can't suppress the giggle that bubbles out of you. One of your classmates turns to glare, but the heat of it doesn't reach you when Bruce is whispering, "Last one to dining hall does the loser's chores."
"I'm faster than you and you know it."
"Hey, I beat Wilbur in the race on Saturday."
"That's cause Wilbur hit puberty and can't control his body anymore."
Your headmaster's shrill call draws your attention forward, "And three, two..."
You turn and smile. You feel Bruce's eyes still on you. Just as the shutter goes off, Bruce tugs your hand instead. And, even with all your teenage obstinacy wanting to make him work for your attention, make him fight for it, you can't help it.
You turn to look at him and the flash goes off.
"I remember being quite upset with this one," Alfred disperses your memory, gently calling you back to the present, "Bruce always hated taking pictures, but pictures were all I had of him while he was away. But... can't really hate that smile he's giving you, can I?"
You feel breathless at the image of younger Bruce and the look of... adoration he wears. Everyone else is focused on the camera, some eyes closed and some smiles skewed, but Bruce is focused on you and you him. Like you are the only two people in the world. Arguing over chores and who's faster than who. Like best friends.
You don't realize you're holding your breath until your body takes in one big deep inhale for you, "He wouldn't stop bothering me."
"It's funny how we couldn't get you two to talk to each other when you first met, and then years later you were inseparable."
You remembered that. Barely in second grade and being touted around by your parents at galas. You remembered Bruce hiding behind his mother's dress, and your mother guiding you by the scruff to say hello, "British boarding school will do that to you."
Alfred snorts, "I think he just liked that someone was treating him like a person."
You glance up at Alfred's soft expression, fatherly and proud. You've never seen him look any other way with Bruce. "Will you be Bruce's best man?"
Alfred seems to startle at that question, "Oh... well, he hasn't asked, but I suppose I will. Not sure who else he'd ask."
"I don't think he'd want to," you admit, and Alfred looks confused, "ask anyone else, I mean. You're it for him."
Bruce looks just like how you remember his father, but sometimes, when the light hits Alfred's eyes just right (that same color you've come to love and mourn), you think Bruce looks just like him too. You supposed they were always meant to be family, in that inexplicable way.
Alfred watches you for a moment, struck by your statement, and then softens like the teddy bear you know him to be. "And you as well. I'm glad you both found your way back to each other."
You can tell he means it in the heartwarming way, the way you meant it, but it doesn't fill you with warmth. There are no fuzzy feelings in your stomach. There is a whirlpool.
This time, there is no doubt Alfred senses your discomfort. He seizes up. He goes to say something, something no doubt kind and thoughtful, but you beat him to the punch, "Can I keep this? I want to... show it to Bruce later, maybe. Might make him laugh."
Alfred stops in his tracks. Then, as if used to such stonewalling, stands to his full height and begins his trek back to your bedroom door, "'Course you can. I'll see you in the morning. Goodnight."
He waits for your affirmative, then shuts the door behind him.
july, seventeen years ago.
The banging on your door fills you with dread the second you recognize it for what it is.
You are tangled in sheets and limbs—warm limbs, arms and legs and hands wrapped around your body in the witching hour—while the heavy oak door of your dorm room shakes with each knock. You don't know how long they've been knocking, but you fear you have very little time left to answer before you end up in worse trouble than you seemingly already are.
You shove at Bruce and he flounders, half-asleep. He almost doesn't want to let you go until he becomes aware of the banging on the door himself and presses his back to the wall behind your bed, "He snitched."
"He wouldn't! Coulson would never," you grumble, pulling on a hoodie discarded on the floor, too tired to recognize it as Bruce's, "just... get under the bed."
He does as he's told, though he looks rather peeved to do so. You grab the back of your desk chair and twist it out from beneath the door knob, and almost immediately it is thrown open by the headmaster.
Your first feeling is shock. Your second feeling is, undoubtedly, ice cold fear. You never thought you and Bruce would get away with this forever, but to be caught by the headmaster is... way worse than you could've imagined.
Headmaster Collins was a spidery man. What he lacked in muscle, he made up for in menace. His features were all gaunt and shadowy in the dark of your room, and with only the light from the hallway to capture his silhouette.
Before you can speak, he raises a single finger to cut you off, "I will discuss you blocking doors later. You have a guest."
You frown. "I..." You stammer. Even with your hand caught in the cookie jar, you don't yet want to give yourself away. Maybe he had no idea it was Bruce that kept sneaking into your dorm. Perhaps Coulson hadn't divulged that much. You and Bruce had paid him in many ways to keep that part secret above all.
You just make out the narrowing of the headmaster's eyes, "Your mother. She flew in from Gotham. She says she's worried about you."
Your stomach drops. Perhaps Bruce being found under your bed would've been better.
To the headmaster's chagrin, you corral him back out into the hall and shut the door behind you, "What? I wasn't... she didn't..."
"She failed to let us know either. I only received the call minutes ago when she arrived outside. We don't want to keep her waiting, do we?" Now, in the light of the hallway, Headmaster Collins loses some of that menace. He almost looks... just as concerned as you.
He leads you to the library in complete silence.
When you push open one of the double doors, you see there are a few candles lit, the rest of the lights dimmed low, and your mother standing with her back to you in the center of the room.
She doesn't turn around until you hear the door click shut behind you and, just like that, the headmaster has left you to fend for yourself.
Everyone always said you looked just like her. A spitting image, and one day, "if you're lucky", you'd grow up to be just as powerful. As the eldest of your siblings, it was unavoidable. Your fate had been sealed long before you were born.
She opens her mouth to speak and whether out of fear or anger, your next words come tumbling out before she can, "I already know what you're going to say."
She clasps her lips together. Then, after a moment, smiles down at you, "Well, that saves me some breath. Tell me, darling mine: what was I going to say?"
"That you know why I told you so late. And that you're angry with me for not running it by you sooner... so you could be in control of it."
"I was angry eight hours ago. Not anymore. It was almost clever of you."
Almost. A smarter, more clever you wouldn't have run it by her at all. You would've quietly disappeared off to the Waynes' vacation house in Barcelona and, inevitably, when you got the call, you'd have told your mother you wouldn't be back for the rest of summer break.
But she had her claws in you, and try as you might to defy her, you always felt those fingers curling around your conscience, drawing out of you what little truth you aimed to keep to yourself.
"So you flew all this way to yell at me?"
"To join you."
You blanch. "You... can't." There is nothing else you can say. No argument, no temper tantrum. Nothing.
But your mother is smart. The plane ride over would have given her ample time to cancel her duties for the next six weeks, offload them onto someone else because what was more important than joining the future heir of Wayne Enterprises on a summer abroad in Spain? Most people on the board would kill for that kind of opportunity. That kind of favoritism.
She's smart too in that it's only her. You imagined your siblings had been left to the nannies, and if Bruce questioned her presence, she could argue that leaving Alfred to chaperone two teenagers all by himself would be just cruel. Her presence wouldn't tip the scales too far into dangerous territory. In fact, it would be nothing if not practical.
She takes a step toward you, then another, and then another until she is looming over you. Half her face is lit by the fireplace roaring in the corner of the room, casting a shadow on the other side. Like this, she no longer looks like you. She looks something far colder, "You didn't think I'd let you run off to another country and ruin this for our family, did you?"
"What? Wh... ruin what? Bruce is my boyfriend."
"Your boyfriend is Bruce Wayne. There is a very real difference."
You feel your eyebrow twitch at that, "What's your point?"
But your attitude is nasty. Far too nasty for a child. The residual sting of her hand colliding with your cheek nearly sends you back into a chair but you manage to catch yourself after a few steps, staring at the rug beneath you in disbelief.
"My point is," her attitude is much harsher, and as you wipe away the bit of spit that dribbled down your lip, she blocks your view once more, "he is not just another boy, a peer, a boyfriend. Bruce is the heir to the company, and unlike his father, he has no foresight. Under him, this company will crumble. His family's legacy will cease to exist. That is why I am here, darling mine. Why you exist. Legacies must be upheld."
You hiss in pain when she takes you by the chin and forces you to look her dead on. At this angle, you can see her whole face lit up by the fire. Through gritted teeth, you whisper in horror, "What are you asking me?"
"I'm telling you that I'm coming along, or you will not go at all."
Your heart breaks a little more than it already has. This is what you'd thought of all week, what kept you up at night and got you up in the morning. And now your mother was going to ruin it all. A tear slips down your cheek and over your mother's fingers, and she releases you to wipe her hand clean, "Please."
"You would only find some way to make him hate you, and all my hard work for the past twenty-five years would be all for naught."
"Mom."
"I've already let the butler know."
"Please let me have this."
"Tell me you understand." You remain silent, teeth almost chattering from the chill her voice gives you. Her eyes harden, "Tell me you understand why I let you have him at all."
"He's my friend."
"He's your future. Tell me." Another tear rolls down your cheek. Your mother grabs you by the arm and pulls you to her, shaking you as more tears fall. You're doing your damnedest not to sob but you're failing spectacularly, "Tell me!"
"He's my future." You gasp out.
"And why do I allow you to be friends with him?"
"Because..." You blubber, fiercely wiping away the tears, "...to uphold our family legacy."
"And?"
"To keep you on his good side."
"Keep us," she taps your chin with her finger, making you flinch, "us, darling mine. Wayne Enterprises will end with him, but it'll begin again with us. With you. Say it."
"With me."
"So we'll go together. And you will do anything he tells you to. And you will make him very happy because he is not your friend. He is our ticket to owning Gotham City."
You would've done anything Bruce asked of you because you loved him, because you trusted him. The way your mother talked about what he might ask of you made you feel sick to your stomach. She shakes you again, expecting you to say it back.
Your lips part to release a shaky exhale meant to be a word, but behind your mother, you stare past the cracked library door and into the eyes of your best friend. The only word you can get out is, "Bruce?"
Your mother drops you completely. She swings around but the door is shutting before she can catch a glimpse, and you're shoving her out of your way before he can get too far.
You throw the door open and find him rushing back down the hall, a flummoxed headmaster lingering by as you run after Bruce. You shout his name but he doesn't slow for you at all, even as your voice echoes off the old school halls. "Bruce! Bruce, please! Let me explain."
It takes more energy than you have in you to catch up with him, but you eventually slide to a stop in front of him, stopping him before he could ascend the stairs and return to the dorm rooms. You expect to see anger clear on his face, or sadness, betrayal even. Instead, he is cold. He looks right through you.
The emptiness of which he looks at you catches you completely off guard. Anger, you could stomach. But this?
"How much did you hear?"
Those eyes that used to look at you so sweetly hold nothing in them at all. He stares you down as if you should already know.
When he tries to side-step you for the stairs, you grasp desperately for his hand but he yanks away from you like you've burned him, sending you collapsing to your knees against the bottom step, "Bruce, please... I don't feel that way about you. I've never felt that way about you. You... you're my best friend. This is exactly why I shouldn't have told her about the trip, I should've just kept my mouth shut-"
"What trip?"
You look up at him and see a wave of something sharp cross his face before smoothing back over completely. Your mouth opens and closes like a fish out of water. He sees the question in you, the thing you fear to ask when it hits you.
Bruce turns his face away from you, "I'll see you in September."
You sit on those steps until sunrise.
The elevator stutters to a stop at cave level, letting you out into Bruce's sanctuary. He's standing at his desk and staring at you, as if he had expected Alfred instead.
"Hey," you start, timidly approaching him with yearbook in hand, "Are you busy?"
He watches you get closer and slowly shakes his head, eyes falling to the book clutched to your chest. They widen some with recognition, a cloudy look overtaking them once you're within arm's length of him. You set the book down on his desk, careful not to disrupt his work. You go to flip open the cover but his hand comes down on the Silverstone emblem, forcing you to draw back your hand in surprise, "Where'd you get this?"
"Alfred kept it." At that, Bruce groans. You gnaw on the inside of your cheek to keep from laughing.
You watch as he slides the book closer to himself, nudging away the files he'd been poring over before you'd arrived, making quiet noises of recognition here and there. When he inevitably lands on the class picture Alfred had shown you, he hesitates. You wait for him to say something, anything, but after a moment of silence, he presses on.
It isn't until he gets to the individual headshots from that year that you notice something odd. On your page, where your headshot and name should be, is a hole cut into the paper. Your heart sinks.
Your mind goes for the worst thing first (that perhaps he had hated you so much that putting away the yearbooks wasn't enough, that he had to cut you out of them too), but Bruce simply traces the neatly cut edges where your face should be.
Then he flips to the page where his picture should be, and his picture is cut out in the same fashion.
You look to Bruce for answers, but his expression is... guarded. He almost looks like he doesn't want to entertain it, almost looks like he's about to tell you to leave him to his work for the rest of the night.
Instead, he pushes the book back to you, "I kept yours in my wallet. I was going to give you mine."
You don't know what to say first, but it finds you in the lull in conversation, "You were going to?"
Bruce's mouth twists in discomfort, still not looking at you. He reaches over and shuts the cover to the book, "I thought... you might tease me about it." For a brief second, he looks at you, "Dunno where they are now."
That brief second is, of course, his tell. It was a shame. Bruce had become such a good liar since he left you on those stairs. He had to have been to get where he is now. And yet, you know in an instant that he's not being honest with you. It feels good this time.
Cregan Stark. I love Cregan Stark.