Now Here's A Serious Question: In Valisthea, Are Dragoons (and Everyone If They Have The Training) Able

Bhunivelze’s Double Deity, made from the power of (or honestly just straight up the bodies of) the gods Lindzei and Pulse. Just casually in the hands of a 14 (technically) year old who got psychologically tortured and possessed by Bhuni-boy into being his eyes and ears.

I GOT HOPE'S FR ABILITY AND MAN. WHAT THE FUCK. JUMPSCARE

Anyone else losing sleep over how Hua Cheng treats Eming poorly? Eming was made from his own eye, so you'd think they'd be in sync - and they are, when it combat, because Eming was born in a desperate need for a weapon and to overcome enemies.

But Eming was also born from a low point in Hua Cheng's existence and must represent the person he was back when it was created - utterly devoted to Xie Lian, but also too weak to have been of any use to him. He saw himself as a loathsome lost puppy lapping at the heels of a god he couldn't hope to be worthy of serving, crying over everything.

It was also during his time desperately overcoming the trials to become a Supreme, aka what Hua Cheng also considers a shameful part of himself. The moment Xie Lian learns about the divine statues and murals, Hua Cheng jumps to suggest they be destroyed, and had tried as hard as he could to make sure they weren't discovered at all.

He changed himself into a suave, calm, collected, overpowered loyal servant to Xie Lian after 800 years, thinking that his prior exploits as a human and as a Wrath were too erratic and disrespectful and not at all how he wanted to be. He would indeed still do everything that Xie Lian wants of him, but now he's actually confident he could do it - so confident that he would even follow Xie Lian's heart when it doesn't seem like the right thing to do or even endangers him. No more hiding behind a mask as Wuming or lying about being his follower. He looks down upon who he used to be: all the same devotion, but not enough power, experience, or confidence to actually do anything RIGHT.

It's no wonder that Hua Cheng not only says no when Eming first wants a pet, but also repeatedly whacks Eming when the blade gets too needy. He thinks Eming's needy behavior (a reminder of his own personality back in the day) is as shameful as the past he worked desperately to leave behind. When he would have broken out into tears just trying to be noticed, when he was desperate for love and clung to Xie Lian when he first showed him kindness.

Eming is willing to show emotion and cry and become erratic even when Hua Cheng himself is keeping a surface-level calmness or focus. Is it any wonder why Hua Cheng doesn't want Xie Lian to see that he still feels emotions and weakness when he dedicated himself to being strong enough to protect Xie Lian, eliminate all his threats, get him whatever he wanted, so that he never had to suffer again?

Eming's sentience is limited, so the blade never evolves or changes or gets over its emotions by processing them over time. Hua Cheng himself was able to change into the person he wanted to be - or who he thought Xie Lian would need and like better - but Eming could never take the same steps. It remains as utterly devoted to Xie Lian and simple-minded as the moment it was born.

It just also happens to be a super deadly saber on the side nbd

Let's talk about Caius and Yeul, shall we?

First, who in the world thinks it's a bad thing for Caius to be obsessed with protecting Yeul? Seriously. Is it the purple hair? Is it the fact that you fight Caius over a dozen times (counting Paradox Endings and DLCs)? What in the world is wrong with Caius loving Yeul to the point that he wants to destroy time itself?

Not to get too existential (but to get slightly existential), Caius is basically being told that his daughter is destined to die before she can reach 20 years old. He starts out as a Guardian, impressing the Goddess so much that she gifts him her immortal heart so that he can protect Yeul for eternity. His job has now become to eternally protect and care for Yeul, but he's also being told that Yeul will never be allowed to have a long and fulfilling free life. His job is to protect her, but the one thing he can't protect her from is her fate. If she sees a vision where she has to die, Caius is not allowed to stop it. He raised and protected this girl just so that she can die to keep the timeline stable or whatever. His job is to make sure that she dies the "correct" way for the sake of time. Can you blame him for being driven mad after being forced to escort Yeul to her destined death generation after generation?

Caius loves Yeul. He is not in love with Yeul (you creeps of the internet), but he loves her. He loves every version of Yeul that comes along like his daughter, no matter how different she is, no matter how she is destined to die. He remembers every one of them, he loves every one of them even with how many he meets and raises and loses each generation.

"Although they had the same soul, every one of them was unique! A Yeul who dreamed of travel! A Yeul who loved to sing! A Yeul who collected flowers. They all died. All of them, before my eyes!"

Serah collapses after he says this, even though she's just standing to the side. Why? Because she's horrified. In 400AF, a single Yeul had to die because of Serah and Noel's presence - for the first time, Serah realized that changing time is hurting someone. Serah is responsible for that Yeul dying. Every change in timeline, even if it's to fix it, is forcing an innocent girl to walk into the arms of the nearest monster so she can die and keep things from getting worse.

Serah was horrified that Yeul just walked to her death willingly, like Yeul sacrificed herself just to allow Serah and Noel to continue their journey, but Caius has seen Yeul accept her fate hundreds of times. He paid attention. He remembers every Yeul, their dreams, their preferences, their favorite activities and favorite experiences, and he's had to watch them die just like Serah watched 400AF Yeul die without being able to do anything.

Caius got so tired of being immortal, but the main reason was that his entire existence was to watch a girl grow up and then die - often in his arms because he has to protect her up until that point. It finally ended at 700AF, Yeul's cycle of reincarnation was likely at its end since there were no more humans, and the next Guardian was born who might finally be able to end Caius as well. He hoped the cycle would finally end, but Noel was too weak to kill him. Yeul believed in the future, and that was awful to Caius because it meant that this wasn't the end. Yeul would keep living and dying for others, never living for herself, and Caius would be forced to keep watching it and letting it happen forever.

"Her only purpose is to die over and over! Even though she can see the future, she's not allowed to escape her fate! She is born knowing that she will die before she has truly lived! Countless deaths, without a life to give them meaning."

Let's talk about Noel too, because his relationship amounts to only truly knowing one Yeul but overall valuing her just as much as Caius.

Now, remember that Noel is having memory problems for the entire game. His memories are in flux, sometimes leaving him, perhaps even changing without him knowing it. That's why, when he's killed in the Void Beyond and sent into an endless dream, his dreamworld sends him home. The end of the world is depressing, it's dark and sad and he's only holding into hope for Yeul's sake - to see her smile, to find more people so she won't have to be alone. Noel's dream is to see his Yeul again. Even if he has to go through losing his life again, this is the world that he knows and the world that he was slowly losing as a result of his memories vanishing.

Right after you wake him from his dream world and enter the lighted (real) 700AF (since you can eventually reach it from the Historia Crux, I believe the lightened version is the actual 700AF time period; they escape the Void Beyond by translating Noel's dream into a real time location at the end of the world by slaying the Gogmagog), Noel says that he "can't remember what happened to her", despite just remembering Yeul's fate dying young to her vision - this is the place we learn that visions eat away at a seeress' life and Serah is one too.

This is probably lost in the English translation, but I interpret this as Noel knows in concept that Yeul died because of her visions, but he can't remember details of the event itself. Right after Yeul dies in the dream, Noel pauses to give the narration of how he learned why Yeul died in his arms. How did he learn that Yeul's death was a result of her visions? As far as Noel was concerned, in the cutscene we viewed, Noel walked up to Yeul putting a prophecy in an Oracle Drive, she collapsed in his arms and told him they'd meet again, and then she died. Caius was already gone; no one could have told Noel that Yeul didn't just randomly keel over. Maybe he could have guessed that her vision was related to her death, but he could have very well just assumed she had a particularly terrible vision that killed her, not that each one takes a part of her life.

When confronting Caius in the final battle(s), Caius assumes that Serah doesn't know about visions killing her - he is proven wrong. When Caius declares that Yeul is bound by a curse, Noel asks "What curse?" I interpret this as Noel not thinking that Yeul's visions and rebirth are a curse. It's tragic and scary, certainly, but Serah's situation is what Noel is more worried about. Unlike Yeul, Serah won't be reborn; she gets one life's worth of visions and that's it. Yeul has to die over and over, but Noel only focuses on the fact that she gets to live over and over. Her lives are short, but even when she was at the end of the world with only two people left to accompany her, she kept smiling. Noel concludes that she must have made the most of every life, because even though her lives were short, she lived so many that she had more time than anyone could have lived in a single long lifespan. Noel does not see Yeul's endless death and rebirth as a curse.

When Serah is brought to her knees at Caius's words about Yeul's deaths, she is able to rise again because Noel declares that Yeul's deaths weren't a curse. "She knew we'd meet again. Think, Caius. Think. Was it really a curse? Was it forced on her by Etro? Do you really think that Yeul wanted to die, and not come back? Of course not. Yeul wanted to come back. Every time she died in your arms, she wanted to come back. She knew her next life would be short. She knew! Because she wanted to see you! Again and again, without end!"

The Eyes of Etro are a curse that take away a seeress' life with every vision, there's no denying that. When the timeline changes or is put at risk, someone has to bear the weight of the consequences. If Yeul hadn't been reborn, it's likely that a random candidate would have been chosen each time a seeress died, similar to how Serah gained her Eyes when her personal timeline was altered and her subsequent journey was the catalyst to the entire timeline being put in flux.

But Yeul choosing to live again and again must have been her own choice. She wanted to keep others from suffering, but she could also live what amounted to a long life, living in every era, seeing Caius again, having new experiences and new interests and new adventures as the world changed with each life she lived. She didn't need immortality; she wanted reality, no matter how cold and harsh it could be. The sad moments were worth the happy visions and happy futures.

Caius was the one consistent thing about each of Yeul's lives, the one thing that didn't change. She lived life after life in every time zone, probably missing large chunks of time and being disconnected from her reality because a seeress needs to be careful who she interacts with (see the fall of Paddra for an example of how her presence is dangerous). Of course she grew attached to Caius as an anchor, the one consistent thing about all the times she's lived.

Notice how there are scenes depicting both Noel and Caius alike crying over a Yeul who is smiling when she dies. Noel was the first Guardian who gave Caius hope that Noel could kill him; Noel was the first person that a Yeul valued besides Caius because she had a vision that she was going to see him again. Yeul likely lost everyone else in each of her lives; by the time she's reborn, all the people she might have become friends with are gone and she's isolated from everyone except for the Paddraen tribe and the Guardians. Caius and his immortality is the only one that she always knew she'd see again - until Noel happened. Yeul died in Noel's arms just like she had so many times in Caius's arms, but Noel chose to value the idea that he'd see her again, not dread it.

As revealed in Lightning Returns, the Unseen Chaos (a different type of Chaos from the regular one that makes up all souls; a more volatile version that destroys) is made up of Yeul's souls specifically. The Unseen Chaos protects, empowers, and even revives Caius because it is Yeul looking after her Guardian just as Caius was looking after her. Yeul is the Chaos that floods Caius after Noel's speech where he has to strike back as Caius doesn't believe his words, the Chaos that transforms Caius into the Jet Bahamut for the final boss of XIII-2. She was desperate to keep the one consistent thing about all of her lives with her. No matter what Caius did, how "I don't want to please her, I want to save her", and how he destroyed the world even when she just wanted to see visions of people living happily, she can't let him go.

Ever had to make a decision and kept going around in circles about the pros and cons, what you gain but what you have to sacrifice for one decision then the next? Imagine every thought you had existing as a separate entity - still fundamentally you, because you came to that conclusion at one point or another, but conflicting and arguing over which opinion mattered most. That's what Yeul is, hundreds of people all with different thoughts and opinions but who fundamentally start out as the same base person.

She hates Caius for some things, but that doesn't mean she doesn't also care about him and need him. For all he does, Caius cares about Yeul, telling Lightning that Yeul cannot go to the New World without destroying it with her Unseen Chaos, so he's fine accompanying her to make sure she isn't doomed to be alone forever.

Caius is very evil at times, driven to his goal with absolute focus. But his greatest flaw is being completely dedicated to Yeul. In Oerba 200AF, that Caius is not hell-bent on destroying the timeline yet. That Caius is the first one, living through all of the lives of Yeul, before 700AF happens and he declares he's going to slay the goddess. That Caius is dedicated to eliminating time-travelers because "To change history is a sin." He bows to Yeul and accepts her judgment when she declares that they can remold history as they desire. The only reason they go to Augusta Tower is likely because it is the sight of a massive Paradox; that 200 AF Caius is dedicated to stopping all Paradoxes to hopefully extend Yeul's time.

However, Yeul gives Serah and Noel the artifact that allows them to resolve the Paradox, killing Yeul with the vision in the process. Notice that Caius doesn't see Yeul happy at her vision where everyone's smiling. He just sees her dead. This is how Caius came to want the timeline destroyed; he tries to keep history in line to keep Yeul from having visions, but she's completely fine with dying if it means a happier future. Nothing he does can save her. Nothing except destroying time and fate itself.

In the end, he died in Valhalla to be with Yeul forever, he stopped her cycle of reincarnation, but it didn't save Yeul because her Chaos was too strong. She destroyed the world, not even on purpose because she can't control it. It's just her existences themselves that cause destruction. Time was destroyed, Yeul no longer was born into new lives and no longer had to suffer visions, but in return, the two of them live in an eternal half-dead, half-living state within Etro’s Temple. Yeul has Caius with her forever, Yeul no longer has to die, and yet it’s all still wrong.

So really, the main enemy of XIII-2 was Etro, who loved humanity so much that she broke the timeline, gave a man an immortal heart to the point that it drove him insane, allowed a girl to be reborn so many times that her souls became a living weapon, and who gave Serah the Eyes of Etro even though Noel can travel the timeline without needing them.

Final theory of the post: what if 700AF Caius deciding to use his power to change the timeline is what began Yeul's many deaths and rebirths in the first place? If he hadn't begun messing with the timeline to try and destroy it, what if Yeul rarely would have had visions without all those disturbances? She wouldn't have had a short life, she wouldn't have wanted to be reborn. Random people would have still been blessed/cursed with visions every now and then, but not to the point of always dying young. What if Caius created his own suffering with his vendetta? Caius is the eternal paradox, the one that started it all and who maintained the distortions so long as he lived.

Fang Xin Guoshi 🦋

He's still beautiful

We stand good princes trying to redeem bad empires!

Best puffy-sleeved imperial princes.

Baby like 🫨

Quanyinweek2024 - day 1: kids -

Xie Lian steals Ming Yue from Quanyin lol

One of my favorite additions that the MDZS adaptations gave us was the little detail that, in addition to storing Emperor’s Smile in his room, Lan Wangji also stored bamboo flutes and was implied to have learned how to carve them and did so on a regular basis.

I just really like the idea that even though he didn’t know if Wei Wuxian would come back, he was preparing for it anyway. He raised Lan Sizhui and tried to train the juniors to be open-minded and unbiased, he held the weight of his whip scars and the sun brand on his chest, he filled his room with Emperor’s Smile that he might never be able to give Wei Wuxian.

I like to think Lan Wangji was learning to carve bamboo flutes even before Wei Wuxian died, since his methods of expressing himself often manifest in secret actions rather than words. Before he knew it, he found himself taking an interest in making dizi flutes and had a collection of them building up - and Lan Xichen is watching with a knowing gaze and offers to tune the flutes to help him improve (does Lan Wangji know how to play any flutes? I assume Lan Xichen knows somewhat how to play a dizi even though his Liebing is a xiao but I'm not a floutist so idk). Bonus angst if Lan Wangji ended up burning a pile of flutes every time he had a breakdown about Wei Wuxian being dead. Then he just goes around carving more.

The original novel has Wei Wuxian using the same out-of-tune bamboo flute nearly till the end, but like - Lan Wangji seeing Wei Wuxian playing badly just to (poorly) hide his identity and then Lan Wangji being so madly eager to show off his skills that he prepared just to serve Wei Wuxian at any and all times. He just whips out a bamboo shaft and a carving tool, and masterfully makes a flute in moments, and Wei Wuxian is oblivious like "Wow, nice job, thx!" and doesn't fully grasp that Lan Wangji is saying "I will make you a thousand bamboo flutes because I love you and will give you whatever you desire, that little surprise and pleasure on your face is worth all the time I waited -"

You know?

Still working way too hard on an MDZS fic BTW, like it's way over 1000 pages in Google Docs and half of it is me just transcribing the novel and the other is me repeating my feelings on everything with an OC or three. What am I doing with my life?

So I was playing around with the idea of a TTS reader, ya know maybe hearing my work read aloud will help inspire me to continue this fic, get immersed in it. Obviously I'm worried about AI and copyright and outside sources seeing my work, but I dived down the rabbit hole of these TTS readers and how they charge people.

Rant incoming of course

Like you would think, "TTS is a handy thing to help with disabilities, a little convenience in life, it should be free or at least cheap, like subtitles. Maybe they're not always perfect but they do help! If you want something better than the basic bot, then you pay, but like how much can it ACTUALLY be - there are words everywhere!"

They charge by the CHARACTER not by the word, first of all, which is absurd, but fine whatever. For context, a 4k chapter of mine is upwards of 20k characters, and about 100 pages of writing in my docs is around 300k characters, but at least I can have that comparison at my fingertips.

Most "free" character limits are 3k. Not 3k words, 3k CHARACTERS. One place had 3k characters of Premium and 3k of non-premium, so it's technically 6k characters a day for their free version, but that's the best I could find skimming the fine print of a bunch of these things.

The paid plans though, hoo boy let's do some math! They preach "unlimited" for the non-premium voices, your basic bots that may be grating on the ear but they get the job done? But the premiums still have limits, of course.

200k characters a day and 1 million characters a month was one of the plans. So around 40k words a day up to 50 of my 4k chapters a month, and closer to 20 of my normal 10k+ word chapters (not including when I re-read a single chapter multiple times for editing or my own amusement). That's 200k words, not including repeats. For $11 a month or the yearly $48. I've seen $150 for 1M a month on one, feel free to tell me if you've seen worse

Up a tier is 500k a day and 2.5M a month. 25 4k word chapters a day, up to 125 a month; 8 or so 10k+ word chapters a day, closer to 40 a month. For $21 a month or $120-$180 yearly (depending on which reader you find).

If you have ever seen my chapters before, you'll see how inconvenient this is, having a daily limit of being able to listen to up to 8 chapters, not even including when I just want to reread them for my own amusement - although I suppose you could record and download them for infinite use, but what if I rewrite, add, or fix errors or entire paragraphs? Then I have to make a whole new one.

There was one version toying with the idea of a pay-as-you-go feature, ya know, basically virtual TTS currency, 200k characters for $10, 1M characters for $40, use them as you please, your time limit to use them is 1 year but every renewal no matter how tiny also renews the end date for when they expire, so a little better for my ADD ass who who'll write like 3M characters in 3 months and then go radio silent for another 6 months.

Anyway so long story short I feel better about myself, seeing I'm way too powerful for TTS to keep up with, but also sad because even if I'm willing to shill out for a voice that doesn't sound robotic AF on my work, I'm still too powerful. I, American English as I am, prefer the non-premium British voices, they somehow sound a little less bot-like but idk.

It's all AI anyway, I should just pay a voice actor to read my stuff every time I write, it'd probably be more environmentally friendly and cost-effective.

So if you made it this far for some reason tell me how many characters you wrote today so you have a bigger number than your word count, I'm up to 25k on this chapter I'm not even done with

How can something so simple be so pretty though?

abstract lgbt wallpapers

lesbian | gay | bi

trans | queer | pan

ace | aro | nonbinary

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The Giggle (2023) + text posts