Sometimes, Although Our Words Or Actions May Hurt Others, They Might Understand. It's Important To Have

Sometimes, although our words or actions may hurt others, they might understand. It's important to have support to help you get better with this kind of thing. If someone in your life - be it a friend or a partner - can't help you but still cares enough to put up with it, and you care about them enough to change, then you have almost a full balance there. You'll just need another friend or a partner who understands what you're going through enough to be able to help you in the ways you need.

Speaking from experience, I have a brother who was that way. He left to live with his girlfriend, and that actually emotionally wounded our mother. After realizing what he'd done, and hearing that I was having trouble at home, he starting visiting more often on his days off from work and teaching me by telling his experiences so that I wouldn't make the same mistakes he did.

I'm glad he took the time to do that, because since he started, I've shown much more improvement.

Thank you, Tyler.

Unpopular opinion, but sometimes it feels like ND positive posts can make the assumption that our actions don’t impact other people. 

Like “it’s ok if you can’t meet a deadline!” If I don’t keep up with my grading and lesson planning, that negatively impacts my 128 students. 

“It’s ok if you can’t reply to texts! Or hang out with your friends!” Other people (even NT people) have feelings. 

Honestly, I think the message should be more “you’re not a bad person for these things” and less “it doesn’t matter.”

If you can’t keep up with deadlines, you’re not a bad person. But you do have to consider what career you go into so you aren’t screwing over other people in the process. 

You aren’t a bad person if you can’t keep up with friendships, but your friends shouldn’t be expected to just wait around until you can. 

I think this is the biggest disconnect between me and the “ADHD is a gift!” movement. I laugh it off when my ADHD impacts me. Like, when I forget to bring my lunch to work or walk into my bedroom multiple times forgetting what I needed many times in a row. 

But it crushes me when my ADHD hurts my students or coworkers. 

Maybe I’m missing something here, and I hope I am, but I think we desperately need to re-evaluate the way we talk about neurodivergence.