Spectrum-speculation - Autistic Earth Visitor

[Image description: A photograph of a pretty twenty-year-old woman. Her name is Claire Wineland. She wears glasses and also an oxygen canula that fits into her nose, wraps around her ears and fastens under her chin. She has brown hair that reaches down to her shoulders. She is giving us a big smile, showing lots of front teeth. End of image description.]

“We’re the manifestation of some kind of underlying brilliance...”

Claire Wineland lived a beautiful, joyful life while suffering from CF (cystic fibrosis). At the end of August, she received a lung transplant, hoping this might give her a new lease on life. Sadly, she died of a blood clot on September second.

During her life she shared many of her experiences, her sense of humor, and a lot of deep wisdom in her YouTube videos. You should watch them.

Claire Wineland YouTube Channel

 She also started Claire’s Place Foundation, which provides financial and emotional support to families living with CF. If you can, please donate.

Claire’s Place Foundation

Here’s an example of her wisdom from her YouTube video, “What it feels like to die.” In it, she describes her experience of dying, up to the point when she lost consciousness and then was saved by medical intervention. 

beautiful smile

RIP Stephen Hawking 🌌

[Description of image: there’s a soldier standing in full body armor because it’s his/her job to defuse bombs. The soldier looks like an astronaut because the suit is so thick and heavy and includes a helmet and dark glass shield over the face. Next to the soldier there is a robot device with a gun and camera. The robot device would be controlled remotely by the soldier.]

I sometimes feel like the character in The Hurt Locker. As a queer autistic person, I feel I have to get suited up in protective armor before entering the heteronormative world. I never know if I’m going to set off a trigger in their normal world, which will cause them to blow up at me and say, “That’s so inappropriate!” or “You’re so childish” or ridiculous or annoying. Those are bombs exploding in my face. But the triggers are hidden and I don’t know the rules for avoiding them. So their normal world is like a minefield for me. 

ironic response: klonopin and seroquel

sincere: the sun and the moon

name two things better than self isolation and the refusal to face reality

I’m a butterfly in those flowers

https://www.instagram.com/p/BEHqXpqu7m_/

The truth is: the whole point of dying is to be scared. Because that means that your life meant something to you. You should fear dying. You should be terrified of it. Even though it's natural, even though it's going to happen, even though you should come to terms with it in a certain way, and go through the feeling of it , and have a relationship with it. You also should acknowledge the fact that when it's gonna happen, no matter how much you prepare, you're gonna be terrified. Because life does mean something.

Claire Wineland, YouTube video

The whole point of being alive is that you are alive! And that you can make something with this. That we're a tangible… You know, we're literally the manifestation of some kind of underlying brilliance to how everything works. We are in physical form, and we're relating with the physical world around us. And at the same time we are consciously relating to the world around us. And consciousness in and of itself is just a physical manifestation… Right, it's neurons firing, it's chemical synapses-it's all of that. Right? So that's incredible! It's incredible, and you feel that it's incredible when you're dying. And that's the most difficult about it-is that you're laying there, and you're a little kid, and you wanna hold your mom's hand, and you wanna cry and you wanna hold on, because you feel how incredible it is to be alive. And not in a corny way, not in a stupid, fake inspirational bullshit way-in a genuine, "I don't wanna give this up" kind of way.

Claire Wineland, YouTube video

what i say to THEM

don’t worry: your lack of kindness and empathy is only a black hole that’s swallowing your soul.

My experience with some people…

Source: unknown to me.

さむい by りー