Fez Our King

jesper: throw it in the trash!

wylan: i can’t see it! cause when she comes in here, i’ll just yell “trash!” i’ll yell “trash!”

jesper: cover your ears and sing Landslide!

kaz: let’s call inej again

wylan: took my love and i took it down

jesper: we need to get this back in my closet—

wylan: i can see your lips moving!

nina: well, close your eyes!

wylan: *singing*

nina: throw it out the window, okay?

jesper: i’ll sneak down there, i’ll toss it in the dumpster

nina: *toss* here!

jesper: what the heck, nina?

nina: i threw like a boy! i’ve always thrown like a boy!

jesper: you almost hit me in the face! what are you, nuts? overhand?

wylan: *still singing*

kaz: oh well, matthias is a goner

matthias: i don’t like bugs, okay? they freak me out.

nina: interesting. you’re afraid of bugs AND women. ladybugs must render you catatonic.

wylan: uh, guys? what does a pregnancy test look like?

jesper: thin piece of plastic with a thing on the end of it

wylan: okay, so this is definitely a gun

matthias: my shoelace came untied! it could’ve happened to anybody!

kaz: that’s your excuse? inej weighs five pounds, jesper can’t swim, and wylan’s never even seen an ocean

jesper: uh, i can swim, racist

black widow was so good i’m in awe. i was consistently surprised by how little they sexualized her and how throughout the whole thing what she was wearing made sense. i loved the relationship between her and yelena, it felt very real and solid, which made me more interested in yelena’s character. the female relationships in this hit so hard and the theme was clearly about natasha forming bonds. (i also appreciated the fact that no cameos were made by other avengers, which might be an unpopular opinion).

kaz: oh, i thought we weren’t talking

jesper: we’re not.

kaz: then why do i hear words coming out of that stupid hole in your face?

jesper: i’m a human being and i’m entitled to my emotions

kaz: are you crying?

jesper: *wiping away a tear* no

kaz: are you seriously crying, jesper?

jesper: i’m not crying

jesper: you didn't cry when bambi's mother died? kaz: oh yes, it was very sad when the guy stopped drawing the deer.

jesper: you like me? you like my personality?

wylan: i was surprised too

wylan: kaz, i think you should play the role of my father

kaz: i don’t wanna be your father

wylan: perfect. you already know your lines.

y’all: i can excuse incest, but i draw the line at child marriage.

me: you can excuse incest???