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had a dream I went to a hozier concert and mr. hozier stopped singing and pointed to me in the crowd and asked me to go get him some extra crispy tofu and a blueberry shake for after the show and then the crowd passed his debit card to me and when I got it I could see his real legal name was Horace Bob-omb

I GAVE HIM LEGS

Vander: I've always liked the name Violet. Silco: *snorts a line* Hey, you know what I like?

> kids party going on next door to where I'm chilling for my break. a lot of good-natured screaming typical of the age range, seems to be 6-8

> minding my own business but kids eventually spill over to where I am and they're chatting about the cake and cookies and sweets

> one kid rolls her eyes and says to me "they're acting crazy because they had cake"

> I ask "is there cake left?"

> "yeah"

> "I'll give you a dollar if you steal me slice of cake"

> takes off like a fucking rocket and 60 seconds later I have a slice of melting ice cream cake all to myself

> give her the dollar as promised

> another kid offers to bring me a cookie for a dollar

> ok sure kid

> those two kids are going feral over a single dollar bill each

> the children yearn for the mines fetch quests

characters of all time, really

I'm sorry sir but no a "shrimp" did not in fact fry this rice. you're lumping crustaceans together in a very unhelpful and bigoted manner. our chef is a giant freshwater crayfish.

shout out to the twink at this pride fest who brought his own megaphone to counteract the evangelical protesters by shouting out the entirety of a recipe for mac and cheese

Think about this most days. God gives his most emotionally attached soldiers his shittiest cover art

in a magical forest. straight up “killing it”. and by “it”, haha, well. let’s justr say. My Latin Teacher