ok funny shit lmao. 5 months has passed. And throughout those months I feel dread because I feel time passing by so quickly. I see 5 months to be such a short time, I know how fast it'll end, and it feels like we are going to get there soon. And i was right. I blinked and boom out of nowhere it's one month left until college exam.
Now guess what. Today is already the end of march. Somehow for the last maybe 2 weeks i feel time going very very slowly and my anxiety just kinda subside for a moment? It really feels like I have SO much time. And no anxiety just gives me like.. just chill vibe as if there is nothing to worry about?? And if you think this is the right time finally start studying bitch no, thats not gonna work. I cant study a 3 years worth of studies in couple of days. Nobody can. So anyway I know the day is getting nearer if I make myself look at the date and it gives back the fear but it just somehow doesn't feel like it? And I didn't know that i wrote this 5 months ago, it really felt like i wrote this like some weeks ago? so what the fuck is time really? I wish this was just because of quarantine side effects but it is not. And I really love staying at my house and going nowhere for the whole year. I can see a very unhealthy lifestyle if i don't end up living in a small village on the mountain, where every morning it will get foggy. Yeah.
Anyway if anyone is wondering, no i have not study, not even a bit. Because it requires a lot of mental energy and the whole time i was trying to gather it and then there's also executive dysfunction so yeah. It just immobilized me. I think my parents just going to hate me more.
I want to learn but i also can't imagine going to college. I'm so not ready and incredibly unprepared. I i wish i can just perish
can anyone with adhd give me tips how to study? i have not been diagnosed but im pretty sure i have it. Everything make so much sense to such great level after learning what adhd is. I’m taking a gap year and in 5 months i’ll be taking a college entrance exam, and i have completely forgotten everything, i don’t think i remember how to do any math too. I honestly would love to take another break but i dont want to get the same reaction from my family for my choice. i certainly don’t understand why learning should be rushed, like i could see some points to it but it’s still stupid. so back to point one can anyone give suggestions? i have only five months left and no i have not study at all for the past 8 months ive been doing nothing but crochet even when i dont want to do it >:( Edit : k i could be just extremely lazy and have no adhd but i feel like anyone who have this condition is the right person to ask since you are the Queens, Kings and the Alphas that could give me answer to the question that im seeking. i should learn from the true masters. and if you have the answer but explaining stuff is hard for you. thank you for reading i guess. ily
ok but imagine if Howl's motherfucking Jenkins is in the same room as Alex Russo. what do you think would happen
me as a child: i'm gonna do all sorts of cool things when i'm older! travel the world! be a writer! do art as a job! etc, etc
me now at 25: hey maybe today my body won't hurt so bad and i'll be able to walk upstairs without wanting to sit down, cry, and/or hyperextending a joint!
I see a lot of talk about how neurodivergence evolved and stayed in the gene pool because it was somehow ‘useful’ to our ancient ancestors. While I don’t necessarily disagree with this theory, I would like to propose an alternative. A theory that we already have physical evidence for. Humans just love each other and care for each other. Don’t you think that a species that cared for it’s people while they recovered from broken bones, or nursed their elderly well beyond their ‘usefulness’ would leave a member out because they didn’t make eye contact, or couldn’t stay focused on a particular task, or whatever other trait you associate with neurodivergence? I really don’t.
Sure, maybe it was useful to have someone around who didn’t mind making arrowheads all day, or who knew absolutely everything about all of the local flora and fauna, or who keyed in on every little distraction. At the end of the day, though, these people weren’t kept around because they were useful, they were cared for because they were loved.
I mean surely we all grew up feeling like there was a wrongness inherently deep inside us that will endure for the rest of our lives
because i love y’all, i’m sharing my family’s recipe for apple tea (traditional fall/winter drink in west asia, turkey, and many areas of the balkans)
it’s like a more delicate version of apple cider and i basically live off of this stuff when the weather starts to cool!
1 large apple or 2 small, shredded (you can use a cheese grater)
3 cups water
1-2 cinnamon sticks
2-3 pc clove (optional)
honey to taste
1 tsp of lemon juice (add at end)
green tea (optional! some versions call for green tea but i actually prefer it without. up to you!)
throw it all in a pot and let it simmer on a low temperature for an hour or so. while it’s simmering, it will also make your home smell delicious! (if you make it with green tea, add the tea at the end, about five minutes before taking it off the heat so the flavor doesn’t become bitter from oversteeping). strain into your cups and enjoy hot.
end result:
The “getting it done in an unconventional way” method.
The “it’s not cheating to do it the easy way” method.
The “fuck what you’re supposed to do” method.
The “get stuff done while you wait” method.
The “you don’t have to do everything at once” method.
The “it doesn’t have to be permanent to be helpful” method.
The “break the task into smaller steps” method.
The “treat yourself like a pet” method.
The “it doesn’t have to be all or nothing” method.
The “put on a persona” method.
The “act like you’re filming a tutorial” method.
The “you don’t have to do it perfectly” method.
The “wait for a trigger” method.
The “do it for your future self” method.
The “might as well” method.
The “when self discipline doesn’t cut it” method.
The “taking care of yourself to take care of your pet” method.
The “make it easy” method.
The “junebugging” method.
The “just show up” method.
The “accept when you need help” method.
The “make it into a game” method.
The “everything worth doing is worth doing poorly” method.
The “trick yourself” method.
The “break it into even smaller steps” method.
The “let go of should” method.
The “your body is an animal you have to take care of” method.
The “fork theory” method.
The “effectivity over aesthetics” method.
So here’s an explanation for executive dysfunction for neurotypicals
I need to do my homework
But I feel dirty cause I was walking around outside barefoot this morning
I can’t do homework because I sit in bed to do homework and I don’t want my bed to get dirty
I don’t want to take a shower now because I like to take a shower at the end of the day to wind down
And then you’re just stuck in that loop for hours and there’s nothing you can do, you try so hard to think of solutions but you’re so set on it that you can’t change the problem
Do homework in a different place? Can’t, I like to do homework in bed and plus I can’t focus on anything else cause I feel dirty
Take a shower now? Can’t, but I really don’t want to because then I can’t take one tonight and it really helps me wind down at the end of the day
Do something else? Can’t, it’s time to do homework and yes I have other things to do but homework is the most important thing I need to do right now
And so you just gotta suffer and think and think and think and either do nothing and get nothing done, don’t do homework because you feel dirty and don’t want to shower now, or
Figure out which is the least annoying/disruptive option to your routine and preferences and do that to try to get back on track
In this case I chose to take a shower now so that I could get on with my day cause I knew it would be bothering me all day if I felt dirty, and I can try to do some other things tonight to find down
But it took me an hour to figure out why I was struggling to go do my homework and what I could do to fix it
Dragon Knight by Jian Li
@we-are-knight
self-inserts are so good!! i love seeing them!! please don't be scared to post your self-insert art or story or just a conversation you had in your head with a certain character!! we're different people and it's great how we interact with our favorite characters in different ways!!
When I was younger and more abled, I was so fucking on board with the fantasy genre’s subversion of traditional femininity. We weren’t just fainting maidens locked up in towers; we could do anything men could do, be as strong or as physical or as violent. I got into western martial arts and learned to fight with a rapier, fell in love with the longsword.
But since I’ve gotten too disabled to fight anymore, I… find myself coming back to that maiden in a tower. It’s that funny thing, where subverting femininity is powerful for the people who have always been forced into it… but for the people who have always been excluded, the powerful thing can be embracing it.
As I’m disabled, as I say to groups of friends, “I can’t walk that far,” as I’m in too much pain to keep partying, I find myself worrying: I’m boring, too quiet, too stationary, irrelevant. The message sent to the disabled is: You’re out of the narrative, you’re secondary, you’re a burden.
The remarkable thing about the maiden in her tower is not her immobility; it’s common for disabled people to be abandoned, set adrift, waiting at bus stops or watching out the windows, forgotten in institutions or stranded in our houses. The remarkable thing is that she’s like a beacon, turning her tower into a lighthouse; people want to come to her, she’s important, she inspires through her appearance and words and craftwork. In medieval romances she gives gifts, write letters, sends messengers, and summons lovers; she plays chess, commissions ballads, composes music, commands knights. She is her household’s moral centre in a castle under siege. She is a castle unto herself, and the integrity of her body matters.
That can be so revolutionary to those of us stuck in our towers who fall prey to thinking: Nobody would want to visit; nobody would want to listen; nobody would want to stay.