Sorilyae

Confession Blog

ihatethecolorblue: Hi! I have no idea why I made this decision at 3 a.m. I think I needed to create a blog to vent everything inside me. I’m about to lose my mind because of the person I hate most in this world, someone I wish would disappear. This person, whose eyes inspired the name of this account, acts incredibly kind to everyone else but is a complete asshole when it comes to me. He doesn’t approve of anything I do. Worse yet, when I try to explain myself, he doesn’t even bother to listen.

Like I said, I don’t know why I started this blog. I guess it’s true that, all decisions made after 2 a.m. are inherently bad. Just like the ridiculous erotic fantasies I have about the person I hate. I know anyone reading this is probably asking, “What the hell are you talking about?” But in this life, the more you hate someone, the more you end up wanting them.

This is a confession blog where I share what I’ve written about my university professor—the one I hate but also wish would fuck me in every possible position.

If by some chance this blog is seen by him or anyone who knows me, yes, I am aware that I need to bathe in holy water and cleanse myself.

모 pairing: professor!gojo x college student fem! reader

모 topics: professor gojo au, enemies to lovers, age gap, forbidden love, one sided attraction, blog user reader, academic girl reader, teacher-student relationship, she fell first he fell harder, jazz bar dates, gojo's love language is physical touch, secrets

모 warnings: +18 Minors Do Not Interact +18 (explicit sexual content, mature language, angst and more angst, future anxiety, mentioning of old bad habits)

모 chapters:

⤷ chapter 1 - coming soon !

all rights belong to the @moonlitwitchdaisy do not copy, reproduce, or translate my work.

blue hearts divider by @thecutestgrotto

web side theme dividers by @isisjupiter 

A dancer dies twice

LeonKennedy x ballet!fem!reader

Summary: Leon attends ballet performances from time to time and a certain dancer caught his eye. An unexpected turn occurred and the favored ballet dancer stopped performing, causing Leon’s heart to break a little.

Warning: comfort/angst. mention of depression and weight loss. not proofread lol. nothing sexual but still.

a/n: I’ve been having this idea for quite some time lol. Why did I stop ballet dancing? Idk, I was a dumb kid lmao.

“A dancer dies twice - one when they stop dancing, and this first death is painful.”

The curtains were closed as Leon walked towards his reserved seat in the house. He wasn’t like other people nowadays dressing causally, he dressed up in his fancy suit. The first button of his dress shirt unbuttoned, just the way he always preferred. He finally got himself a small vacation and what better way to enjoy the weekend than watching a group of people dance along to Tchaikovsky?

He shifted in his seat as he looked over the pamphlet of the acts. He doesn’t know a thing about ballet but he does know that he likes the emotions conveyed in the way the dancers move. Whether it was the betrayal in Swan Lake or the serene feeling of the sugarplum fairy from The Nutcracker, he loved it all. But he would never admit it to his colleagues.

The orchestra began to play in a crescendo as the curtains pulled open, revealing a group of white dressed ballerinas huddled in a circle. And that’s when that serene feeling came. The ballerinas danced in their point shoes as their skirts moved gracefully every time they did a pirouette. It felt magical and he felt a sense of relief. Leon was an analytical guy, he analyzes everything he sees and tonight was no different. For tonight, he noticed a certain new dancer. Her hair tied up in the same bun as the other ballerinas but somehow it looked better on her. The white corset she was wearing hugged her lean figure just right, her arms moved under the spotlight swiftly. As if she was a doll. This was her performance.

Leon kept attending each time he could just to watch her. To watch the way her arm and leg angled perfectly at every arabesque she did, her grand jeté followed by the common chassé. She was just breathtaking. As if her purpose was to dance all night. And she did. She was the white swan. She was Clara. For months he watched as she slowly took over the main roles, she was that good.

But all that good came down with a price. Recently, he noticed the way she started to appear less and less. She danced the lesser roles now. And he couldn’t help but wonder why? Was she okay? Is she taking care of herself? For nights he felt worried. He even searched up her name online to find her social media. But the poor man couldn’t find it. It’s like all she did was perform.

Until one day, he spotted her walking down the street from her dance studio. He was out for a smoke when he saw her in her practice clothes, backpack over her shoulders as she walked towards her car. His eyes widened at the sight and he quickly threw his cigarette on the floor and put it out with his foot. He looked both ways before crossing the street and began to make his way towards her.

She didn’t notice until he spoke out to her, “Hey, you performed last week, right?” He asked even though he knew the answer already. She turned around and looked at him surprised but quickly smiled politely.

“Yes, I did. Did you enjoy the show?” She asked in her quiet voice, she seemed tired. He couldn’t help but nod as he looked down at her. “Yeah- you were amazing.” He mumbled under his breath, his heart beating fast as he began to feel his ears turn pink. She was even more beautiful up close.

And god was her laugh even more breathtaking. She giggled at his words and that only made him want to make her laugh even more. Just to hear that beautiful laugh.

It’s been a few days after their exchange and he couldn’t help but feel like a teenage boy for being able to get her Instagram. Turns out she purposely hid her account from the ballet house. Makes sense since she looked like the type to not want to be bombarded with messages from strangers.

They texted for some time and he kept attending her shows. He even bought her flowers after one performance in which she got the main role again. His heart nearly bursted into little pieces as he watched the look of surprise and joy on her face when she saw the flowers. He wanted to make this girl happy, as much as he could. So he kept bringing her gifts. And she kept them in a special memory box. It was all so romantic.

One day, she was walking home from dance practice with her headphones on. She was talking to Leon on the phone about some minor things like how much her feet hurt and how she needed new shoes. And he listened to her, no matter how much she talked because she talked a lot. He took in every word and analyzed it. Should he buy her the shoes? He would gladly spend his money on her if it meant she’ll keep dancing. If it meant she’ll keep following her dreams.

It was all going great until she noticed a car swerving slightly. She shrugged and kept walking as she talked to Leon over the phone. The car kept getting closer and closer until it swerved right into her direction. Her instincts jumped in and she was able to dodge the car, but her leg got caught under the tire. She screamed in pain and Leon quickly tracked down her location. He got his keys and drove to her, he didn’t care how fast he was going. He needed to be there, he needed to help her.

When he parked on the side of the road, he saw her holding on her leg as the driver staggered in his walk. He was drunk, Leon thought to himself. A drunk driver just ran over a dancer. A ballet dancer’s worst dream came true in the snap of a finger. Leon felt a lot of things. Anger, frustration, sadness, he felt it all. And his heart broke even more as he saw how much she was crying. He ran to her side and quickly called the ambulance.

He sat waiting in the lobby of the hospital as she was undergoing surgery. She had suffered a bone fracture and needed immediate medical attention. He stayed up as much as he could and waited for her. He would ask any doctor how she was doing, and honestly, no one told him anything yet.

Her assigned doctor finally came out and approached Leon. He told him that she was currently sleeping from the anesthesia but that he could see her. And he rushed towards the room she was in.

He saw how she laid on the bed, peacefully sleeping. He saw how she had wires tied to her arm. He heard the sound of her heart monitor beep at a normal pace. He slowly approached her and sat on the chair next to her bed. Leon took her hand and squeezed it gently. He couldn’t do anything except wait for her to open her eyes.

And he waited.

She slowly opened her eyes and looked around as her vision tried to adjust to the harsh hospital lights. She looked down at Leon’s head resting on her bed as he held on to her hand. She smiled softly until she looked down at the cast on her leg. Her face fell and her heart shattered.

Her quiet sobs reached Leon’s ears and he woke up immediately. He cupped her face with his hands and brought her to his chest as she cried. She wrapped her hands around his back and held on to him. Her whole passion and dreams were now gone. And it wasn’t even her fault.

She spent months in her bed, getting up only to eat and go to the bathroom. But that was it. Leon took the liberty to take care of her. To bathe her, to feed her, to try and distract her. But she always had that emptiness in her eyes. Her light was gone and she was no longer under the spotlight. The ballet house had to let her go since her leg was so injured she couldn’t dance ballet anymore. She could dance but just not ballet. And it broke her soul.

She would no longer wait for the curtains to open, she would no longer dance along to the orchestra, she would no longer spot Leon sitting among the crowd watching her. It was all gone.

Leon slept on the couch as he took care of her. But even from the living room he could hear her cries. He noticed the way she lost her muscle and lost weight.

He walked to her room and sat down on the side of the bed with food. “You need to eat, y/n…” he spoke softly as he laid his hand on her shoulder. “I’m not hungry.”

He couldn’t do anything but frown. He didn’t want to force her to get better but he also hated seeing her in this state. He would do anything to go back in time and prevented the whole thing from even happening.

He helped her shower, kneeling down against the bathtub as she had her back to him. She had her knees on her chest and hugged her legs. His fingers gently massaged the shampoo into her scalp. It wasn’t anything sexual. He was just trying to help her.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled under her breath as he poured water down her hair to wash off the shampoo. He furrowed his brows and replied back in a soft voice, “What for?”

She rested her chin on her knees and continued, “For all of this. I feel like a burden to you. You could be doing better things but instead you’re taking care of my depressed ass…”

His heart broke again, his fingers stopped going through her wet hair as he tried to think of a way to reply to her. “You’re not a burden… I chose to take care of you, none of this is your fault…” he whispered softly. She frowned as he kept washing her hair, “I know but… I just feel so… empty.”

He couldn’t do anything except stare at the back of her head with a sad look. He kept washing her hair and her body in silence. He wasn’t a man of words but he hoped that his actions spoke for the lack communication. He hoped she took his actions as a way of comfort. Because he knows what it’s like to lose something you love. He knows that feeling all too well.

He helped her into some new pajamas and tucked her to bed. He was about to leave when she took hold of his wrist, “Stay.”

She wanted him to stay.

And he did. He laid down next to her on the bed. She laid her head on his chest and cried. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer to him. His shirt getting wet from her tears but he didn’t care. Leon ran his hand through her hair as the other rubbed her back gently. Her hands gripped on his shirt as she sobbed.

Her head remained on his chest as she slept after crying. And he did not move. He stayed like he told her to. Not because he was forced, but because he wanted to.

And he’d stay all the time if he was able to.

Sir I- 🥺

🎧busy tonight…

THE BLEACH ANIME IS BACK AND I AM LIVING!!

Me coming home after another unsucseful date to a house filled with cats and crushes on fictional characters

me @ y/n when they do something i’d never do:

like babe this isn’t us ?? get it together

Psst can u draw re4 leon on a date 🥹 what would he be like??

drinking his whiskey

♥️🌹♥️🌹❣️

As much as I love fall and spooky season, I’m a sucker for anything Valentines Day :’)

Operation: Pamper Condor One

Summary: It’s your one year anniversary and you decide to make it your mission to give Leon the treatment he deserves.

Pairing: Leon Kennedy (any Leon of your choice tbh) x Fem!Reader

Warning: toothrotting fluff

Note: yeah I know, I know it’s spooky season but I’m a lover for the aesthetic of Valentine’s Day and thought it’d make this Drabble even more romantic. Sue me! Either way I hope you enjoy! This one is one of my longer ones.

February 14th was a day you despised with every fiber of your being. The hearts, roses, and the sickly shades of red and pink never swooned you. Any mention of the holiday earned a gag and an eye roll from you in return. Mainly because it reminded you how single you were, but you never said that aloud. Instead you went with the more indirect reasonings when questioned,

“Valentine’s day is just another unnecessary commercial exploitation” was your favorite one to use. But deep down, you envied those who got to celebrate having a significant other, wishing you could join in all of the fun. That is, until Leon Kennedy came along. Being the cliche and cheesy guy that he is deep down, he decided it’d be romantic to ask you to be his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day at your doorstep with an oversized bouquet of roses. One year later and your perception of this romantic holiday had completely been redefined. That’s what love does to you, you guess.

And now here you were, a week before Valentine’s day secretly planning the most romantic evening you have ever planned in your life. To be fair, it was the first romantic evening you ever planned, making it the most romantic thus far. It being the first romantic date you had planned made you all the more excited and anxious to make sure everything was absolutely perfect. Not one candle or balloon was out of place. Despite all the chatter from your friends, saying that it should be the boyfriend planning these sort of dates on this holiday, you didn’t care how you may look putting this together. More important matters were at hand, specifically Leon not really being the same since his last mission.

You remembered clearly how exhausted he looked when you picked him up from the airport, how he practically fell into your arms, how permanent his frown has been since then. You hated seeing him like that. You wish you could take his pain and exhaustion away, but you couldn’t, and that you hated more. So, in hopes to lift his spirits, you thought of Valentine’s day being the perfect opportunity to give him the treatment he deserves, especially on a day that the both of you held dear to your hearts. Screw the tradition, the expectations, all you cared about was getting your Leon back. The Leon who was serious to some but especially giddy and happy with you. The Leon who always had a twinkle in his eye when explaining something he was passionate about. You were getting him back if it was the last thing you did.

The week flew out the window with the fiercely cold winds of winter, and the time had finally come to execute Operation: Pamper Condor One. Wearing a lipstick red chain knit sweater and a pair of jeans, you pull your hair up into a bun at the top of your head and wrap it with a white scrunchy with tiny hearts. Looking in the mirror you didn’t expect to come to this point in your life. You didn’t think you’d ever enjoy today like this, much less with someone who made life worth perceiving at a different, more positive angle. But, you weren’t complaining, you liked this new you and you sincerely hoped that you could bring the old Leon back tonight.

Looking around your apartment with brows furrowed, you murmured your checklist to yourself to ensure everything was in place. It was safe to say that you went all out with this one. Heart shaped pillows replaced your usual everyday pillows on the couch, candles were lit everywhere in the house to the point where it was almost a safety hazard, and most importantly, rose petals scattered on the sheets of your bed. Nibbling on your thumbnail, your mind spirals in a panic as you wait for him to arrive.

Is this too much? Will he hate it?

You thought to yourself looking around the apartment from your couch, your legs crossed and your one heart patterned sock covered foot bouncing anxiously. So deep in thought, you jump at the sound of Leon’s familiar knock, one he came up with so you knew it was him at your door. Standing up so fast, you begin to almost see stars as you clumsily make your way to your front door and swing it open.

“Hey beautiful” Leon greets, his voice soft, sentimental, yet so very exhausted. With an oversized bouquet of your favorite type of flower in his arms, he has to tilt his head to the side to look at you.

“Awe you shouldn’t have!” you gush happily as you tug his arms toward you to lead him inside.

“You didn’t think I’d forget our one year did you?” He grunts as he places the bouquet down on your kitchen counter.

“Never” You reply with a giggle as you watched him lean back to stretch his back,

“Jesus, those are heavy” He groans to himself, “you also have something coming in later tonight”

You couldn’t help but snicker at his obliviousness towards his surroundings, as he continued to speak,

“I also got us a reservation at your favorite restaurant, we’re supposed to be there in… wait what’s all this?” he asks softly, turning around and taking notice of the romantic ambience of your apartment.

“I’d cancel that reservation if I were you, because we’re not going” you say leaning against the kitchen counter, crossing your arms,

“We aren’t?” He asks cautiously, turning back to you. You smile smugly and shake your head,

“Nope, tonight we’re going to be focusing on you” turning him to face you and wrapping your arms around his neck, you place a soft peck on his lips as his eyes turn up in thought,

“Me?” He murmurs against your lips, earning an agreeing hum from you in return,

“Go sit at the dining table, I’ll be there in a minute okay?” still a bit unsure of how this evening was going to turn out, he eventually nods and makes his way to your circle dining table. Noticing a wrapped box leaning against his chair, wondering what it could be.

Not long after, you walk out with a pizza box in your hand, Leon’s eyes immediately light up noticing the emblem on the top lid,

“Is that–”

“Your favorite? Of course” you triumphantly respond, placing the box on the table and opening the lid. The savory aroma of melted cheese and pepperoni filled the air which filled Leon’s eyes with excitement. Something you hadn’t seen in a while, seeing it now made your heart soar. So far, your plan was going swimmingly. Serving him a slice, you place a kiss on his forehead and sit across from him. While taking a bite of his pizza, he looks around at all your hard work and attention to detail in awe,

“Babe, you did all of this…for me?” You look up from your plate and reach out to take his hand with a loving smile,

“Well, you’re always taking care of me, I thought maybe I could do it for a change” You explain, a bashful grin growing on your lips as you squeeze his hand. His eyebrows furrow as his mouth falls slightly, something told him it was because of how he’d been acting since he came home. Guilt washed over him, he thought he had hid it so well. But this extravagant gesture showed him the opposite of what he thought was reality. You had often asked him what happened and if he was feeling okay and in return, he just shrugged it off. Telling you not to worry about him, that he could take care of himself. Little did he know how much that isolated the both of you back then. But he saw it now,

“Baby, I’m sorry for being so off lately and shutting you out. I thought I was protecting you but I think I did the opposite” your eyes softened at his words as you stood from your chair. Kneeling down you take him in your arms and kiss his forehead,

“I know” your breath brushed against his skin, causing his shoulders to drop slightly, “You were trying to tough it out right?”

With a soft exhale through his nose, he nods his head slightly, “You know you don’t have to carry this weight on your own right? That’s what I’m here for” you continue brushing some his hair away from his face,

“I guess, I don’t exactly know how to do that” resting your forehead against his own, you rest your hands behind his neck, the pads of your fingers making his eyes flutter slightly in bliss,

“Don’t worry, I’ll make it easier for you, starting tonight”

A small smile grows on his face, your soft voice always being music to his ears, and knowing you cared this much, to do all this for him. Since you two had intertwined your lives, you continued to show him what he had been missing. What he yearned without knowing. Nodding his head, he leans in to press his lips to yours. His hands gently lifted you closer to him and before you knew it, you were sitting on his lap, legs dangling over his right thigh as your lips failed to pull away. Every kiss rebukes all anxieties and fears from both of your minds. After one last peck, his lashes flutter down as he notices the wrapped present against his chair again. You notice and with a chuckle you reach down and place it on the table,

“Happy One Year my love” you coo nuzzling your head against the side of his. You wished you could take a photo of the look on his face as he eyed the carefully wrapped box. He looked like a little boy on Christmas Day,

“go on, open it” you urge. With a quiet laugh he makes the first tear of the paper and then another tear. With your legs swinging, you watch him open the box and pull out a T-Shirt and read the words. His smile widens as he reads it and out comes a laugh you missed so dearly, like a dream that flees from you the moment you awake.

“My Girlfriend Is Hotter Than You” he reads it aloud and places a smooch on your cheek, “that she is, that she is”

“That’s not all” you say with a smirk, earning an eyebrow raise from him,

“Is there something else in the box?”

“Nope” your hands leave his neck and reach the hem of your sweater, beginning to lift it from your body. A motion, you noticed, made Leon’s cheeks redden. You lift it over your head and drop it to the floor to reveal your matching t-shirt,

“My Boyfriend Is Hotter Than You” in bold black letters matching him. He practically gasps and tightens his arms around you peppering kisses along your neck, making you giggle from his excitement,

“And you said you hated these type of shirts” he points out smugly,

“What can I say? You’re a bad influence on me” you retort back, standing up from his lap and extending your hand,

“C’mon the night isn’t over” Leon’s ears redden from your words, as he takes your hand and lets you lead him into the bedroom. Sitting him on the bed, you grab his shirt and lift it from the bottom, with a shy yet excited twinkle in his eyes, he lets you. Placing it neatly on your dresser, you sit behind him on the bed,

“What are you doing?” Leon asks with a look of intrigue on his face,

“Giving you a massage, duh” you tease,

“Oh, I thought we were gonna…” he clears his throat and rubs the back of his neck with a sheepish chuckle, “right” he adds, sounding a tad disappointed. Pressing a kiss on the back of his neck, sending shivers down the man’s spine, you ruffle his hair and whisper in his ear,

“Maybe later” you almost saw his ears perk up from your words as your hands stroked along the scars littering his back. You remembered the first time you saw those scars. Wanting to kiss every single one of them away, knowing how much of a burden they casted on your lovely boyfriend. Resting your hands on his shoulders, your thumbs knead the area beneath, feeling the pent up tension,

“Does this hurt?” You ask with uncertainty,

“No, feels good” he murmurs, his eyes gently closed. With a sigh of relief you begin to rub down and knead every area of his back. Sighs and grunts escape his lips as he feels his body tense and relax from your touch. You smiled softly, glad to see him receiving the attention and care he deserved. You couldn’t imagine how tense he must have felt using his body so brutally to survive and play hero. You could feel the exhaustion, pain, and stress leave with every manipulation of muscle, “I love you” he murmurs again, his eyes half lidded and a dreamy smile on his lips.

“I love you, too” you softly respond, hugging him from behind, “how do you feel now?”

“Amazing” he mutters under his breath, “Thank you”

You can’t help but gush at his words, always so sweet, so polite. Getting up from the bed you run to the bathroom and take one of your clay masks and place it on your dresser,

“You’re really spoiling me here” he comments bashfully as you also come back with the leftover pizza in the pizza box, his gift and turn on the tv.

You chuckle and begin opening the clay mask and walk over to him. He widens his eyes and holds his hands up, “Wait, lemme do something first” he says, causing you to lift your brows curiously. Grabbing the t-shirt you gifted him, he slips it on and admires the letters spreading across his chest, “Okay now you can continue”

“So you like the shirt huh?” You tease smearing the teal paste onto his forehead,

“I thought I made it obvious” he retorts back sassily, closing his eyes. You roll your eyes and continue smearing the mask on his face,

“There all done, now just relax” you reassure, pressing him farther onto the bed,

“Wait, you’re not wearing a mask” he points out taking the paste from you, “c’mere”

“Leon, this is about you remember” you protest,

“Last I checked, it’s our one year anniversary, not mine. Now come here, I’m not doing this alone” he adds the last part sternly, making you sigh in defeat and scoot over to him so he can apply the paste onto your face. You can’t help but smile as you watch him carefully apply the paste on your face as neatly as possible. After he finishes, he kisses your lips earning a sound in protest,

“Babe, you’re going to make the mask crack” you say sheepishly,

“Tuff” he remarks, hovering his body over yours to kiss you more deeply.

The doorbell rings making Leon pull away, his eyes filled with excitement,

“It’s here” he whispers to himself, hopping off the bed and making his way to the door. Coming back he holds a gigantic teddy bear, the exact one you were eyeing while the two of you were running errands together,

“You didn’t!” You gasp,

“I did” effortlessly, lifting the teddy bear that was half the size of him, he places it next to you, “like it?”

“I love it! Thank you” you gush hugging the bear tightly.

“Alright alright, I’m right here you don’t need to cuddle it now” he adds, a tinge of jealousy in his tone, pushing the bear aside and collapsing onto you earning an,

“Oof” from you as you wrapped your arms around him,

“I think I’m ready to talk about it all now” he says as he lays his head against your chest, looking up at you with puppy eyes. You feel all your worries of this plan being a disaster fall away from his words,

“Well go on, I’m listening” with a long, tired sigh he begins to explain everything. The horrors, the betrayals, the losses he endured to make it home. You kept quiet and let him talk about it. Your hands massaging his scalp to comfort him. Once he was done, he lifted himself up from you to look into your eyes,

“I really am sorry for shutting you out. I was just.. afraid of burdening you”

“What you go through, I want to go through it with you. I wish you understood that, that’s what I mean when I say I love you”

“I understand that now.” He begins to say, “we’re a team right?”

“Exactly, you’re so smart” your compliment causes him to blush and smile,

“What was it you said about doing something later?” He says endearingly,

“I said maybe”

“Is it more of a yes than a no kind of maybe or…” he responds suggestively, pressing himself against you making you blush slightly, “Because I think I owe you something in return for all of this, princess”

“If it frees your conscience, sure” wrapping your arms around his neck you lean forward and share a kiss with your lover. Feeling his smile curve against your own, it was safe to say Operation: Pamper Condor One was a success.