The Wall

Tis but thy name that is my enemy.

Astarion in Castlevania (Netflix) style

So my family has a Gay Pirate Plate.

Stay with me.

We do not know how the hell the Gay Pirate Plate was first acquired. This being a point of contention is actually pretty plot-relevant; the saga of the Gay Pirate Plate began with my grandmother and her sister, who, for some ungodly reason, both BADLY wanted the Gay Pirate Plate and believed it to be rightfully theirs.

I should back up, firstly, to establish: The Gay Pirate Plate is the cheapest, tackiest, ugliest plate in existence.

It is in no way a collector’s item. It is physically impossible for it to complement anyone’s decor, because the colors in it are garish. It’s just a ceramic plate with a gay pirate painted on it, and the painting is, this cannot be emphasized enough, extremely bad.

(How do we know the pirate is gay if he’s just posing on a plate? Listen. Fully 100% to stereotype, but he is. He is gay. There’s an energy. That pirate is a flaming homosexual. That pirate has sex with men and does it frequently. That pirate is fucking gay, all right, he just is.)

Anyway. The point is that this is an extremely cheap and ugly plate with a poorly-executed painting of pirate on it who is like a nine on the Kinsey scale.

My grandmother and her sister fought a blood feud over this plate for their entire lives. It would be on the wall in my grandma’s house, and then her sister would visit, and then it would be gone. She’d visit her sister and the plate would be on the wall and her sister would pretend it had always been there. She would steal it back, hang it up, and, when her sister visited, pretend it had always been there. This continued for DECADES.

When the sister died, the Gay Pirate Plate lived triumphantly in my grandmother’s house. And then my grandmother died. And my aunt, who had lived with her and been her carer throughout her life, rightfully inherited their house.

We visit my aunt after the funeral and stay with her for a week or two.

Me, my sister, and our dad. Her brother.

The three of us look at each other. We don’t say anything. We studiously avoid making eye contact with the Gay Pirate Plate mounted proud and ugly on the wall. We notice one another studiously avoiding looking at it. We notice one another noticing. We say nothing. We come to a silent consensus. We pack up to leave. We get in the van. Our aunt comes out to say goodbye. I loudly announce I need to use the restroom before we leave. She obviously stays outside to continue talking to my dad.

I take down the Gay Pirate Plate, stuff it under my oversized sweatshirt, go outside, and get in the van. She happily waves goodbye as we drive off.

Two days later my dad gets a phone call that opens with hysterical laughter and “You FUCKING ASSHOLE did you seriously STEAL THE PLATE–”

Anyway. The gay pirate plate lives in my dad’s house currently.

But he’s trying to get me and my sister out to visit him. And plate mounts are cheap.

Don't mind me, just crying over Sephiroth's conditioning again...

Like, Sephiroth is so sad, but when Genesis yells an order to him...

He goes into attention on an instinct, and "wait, wtf am I doing?" Expression in his face...

Then you remember, according to some timeline, Sephiroth was 12 when Wutai war started, or something like that. :)

people need to realise that a poor little meow meow must be a character who has committed atrocities you cannot poor little meow meow a good guy that’s not how this works

pov: you’ve just got home from the early screening of season 2.

twitter is waiting for the spoilers.

tumblr is waiting for the spoilers.

the Spoiler Gremlins are biting at the walls of their enclosure.

you crack out your phone. time to give the people what they want. you open twitter, type the spoiler, you’re about to press 'post'…

then, the lights go out.

that’s weird. must be a blackout.

you go to find a flashlight, and you swear you hear some sort of scampering in the hallway. you shine the flashlight; nothing there. huh. weird.

you return to your room, and open the door.

there’s a figure standing in the darkness.

your heart drops.

the figure makes no move.

gulping, you aim the flashlight and click it on.

it’s neil gaiman.

good things will happen 🧿

things that are meant to be will fall into place 🧿

Some paintings with nice memories affiliated to them on twitter. Since twitter’s fate is unknown rn, i just wanted to say I had a really fun journey there. I’m truly thanksful for all the love I got there from many strangers who took a few sec out of their days to stop and look at my silly art haha. It greatly helped me like my art and myself, since honestly, both are linked. I also met so many people and made so many friends. I tried to find as much people back here as I could. Anyway. May we meet again guys. Thanks for the ride on twitter. ❤