“Look At All These Inspirational Posts. I Could Get Started On My Goals Right Now. I Have Books
“Look at all these inspirational posts. I could get started on my goals right now. I have books to learn from, and tools to practice. I have free time right now. Nothing’s stopping me.” *continues scrolling past the thought*
More Posts from Some-rando-blog1 and Others
But I’m Special!
A lot of people seem to think they get a pass on problematic arguing tactics because they're a minority or an activist or what have you. You don't get a pass. It's not going to fly if you say "there are multiple bad things/reasons for a bad thing, don't try to focus on one." You don't get to say " *I* don't experience that problem" when someone says a problem exists, and not get called out on it. You don't get to badger someone who has made it clear that they don't want to talk to you about a subject, and have it be okay. I'm not buying it when your response to being called out is a tired variation of "I guess you're not capable of talking about things rationally" when someone doesn't put up with your tactics. Not only will your behavior be called out, but your hypocrisy will be called out as well.
There's a dearth of terms for people in serious relationships that happen to be marriageless, so I call my person's parents my "outlaws." Feel free to steal my cheesy humor.
What Am I Overlooking?
Overlooked reasons for going to hell: Carrying on a conversation with someone after they have said goodbye (or other widely accepted sign-off term), as if you didn't hear them when you did. "Fixing" things about a person's appearance (bra strap, hair, etc) without asking. Answering the cellphone you didn't bother silencing in a library. Constantly putting other people's cups in the sink when they're not done using them.
Stop it.
The answer to your white guilt is not to lament about there “not being any Indians left” to show people you’re a caring white person. We were harmed, but we are still here, and erasing us only harms us further.
Monogamy never works out. I have a friend who tried a monogamous relationship, and they broke up.
Alliterative adjective names like "nervous Nellie," but used when someone is flamboyantly displaying their preferences, or acting like their state of being is the universal standard. "Okay, poly Polly." "Whatever monogamous Molly." "Easy there, dominant Dominic."
A Reminder About Light Skin Privilege
One term can have different meanings and subtleties across different groups. The term “light skin privilege” carries a particular weight and meaning when used in reference to Native American people.
Between strict blood quantum laws and perceptions, and stereotypes about our looks (must have dark reddish brown skin, long black hair, etc), people are dying to tell us we’re not “real Indians.” We are often clearly spotted as not-white by white people, and treated as such, yet if we don’t meet preconceived notions about our race, we’re “not allowed,” to “claim to be” who we are. This is not only a matter of “acting white,” or people using our light brown skin to say we’re “not Indian enough,” it is also a matter of people frequently using our light brown/ non-white skin to somehow disagree entirely with our factual race. Yes, even some of us who are “full blooded” are told we are not who we are. When something is used to call our existence into question, in a way that is unique to Native American groups, it can be very impactful to say that that trait is a privilege.
There’s certainly common ground between various non-white communities; that said, there’s a lot of nuance to each group’s oppression, and what it means to be part of that group. As a single label can have different connotations depending on who is using it toward whom, we should think twice before using a term of privilege to describe someone from a different oppressed race than our own. In those situations where it is accurate and needs to be said, say it with some indication that you are mindful of those nuances which you do not experience and may not understand.
One of the really shitty things about being a minority in the U.S. is that, even though you know it’s wrong to play the Oppression Olympics, you sometimes lose the capacity to want the lack of oppression, and instead look at other oppressed communities and think “I wish we could trade our forms of oppression for a day.”
People love to say variations of “you have to love yourself first in order to be loved,” and lament over how people who’ve killed themselves or tried to kill themselves “have people who love them, even if they didn’t know it.” Fuck you. Figure this shit out. Stop telling people that no one will love them if they don’t love themselves. You’re hurting a lot of people by perpetuating the myth.
