It’s Crazy That When I Explained To My Brother How I’ve Been Suicidal (bc Of My Disability) He’s

Mmmmmmhhhhh

Autistic pigeon, doesn't read the social coos

TikTok update where the app won't open unless the user is wearing earphones

hey I'm sorry I stopped in the middle of that sentence my brain decided to flush its cache and I totally forgot what this conversation was

sometimes you just have to let yourself be a bit neurodivergent.

i hate going out, it gives me a lot of anxiety and sensory input that i dont like, and i am often forced to talk to people.

so i do this thing on more difficult days, or sometimes just for fun, where i "bring a fictional character with me". i walk and imagine Fictional Character walking next to me. they talk to me, reassure me, hype me up, whatever i need them to do.

today dean winchester came christmas shopping with me. he went over the list with me of stuff i needed to get, told me i was doing a good job every time i finished in a certain shop, reminded me to take a deep breath when i got a little overwhelmed.

and yea. its kinda silly. and i know its just me talking to myself in a different voice, but it Works! especially since all of my special interests/hyperfixations tend to be tv/movie related.

so do what you gotta do to Get Shit Done. stop holding yourself to neurotypical standards. if you need Fictional Character to tell you you're doing a good job, do it! if you need Favourite Singer to walk you to school, do it! yea it might feel silly but you're literally fighting against your own brain to get stuff done every single day. you can have a little self indulgent daydream, as a treat.

NAHHHHHH NOT THE ASTHMAS NOT ME ALWAYS CRYING OR BEING STRESSED AND JUST *pulls Ventolin out of pocket *SWOOSH *BREATHS COUGHS

mfs be tryna help me when im overwhelmed cuz yknow the autism but gosh darnit the social anxiety kicks in and they say “hey you okay” but golly gee the depression fades into frame then they be saying smth like “take a breather” but oooohhh crud here comes the asthma

idk if it’s the mental illness but sharing literally any information feels like oversharing. i’ll be like “i skipped breakfast this morning” and immediately im like “i might as well have told them where i buried the money”

oh so when vampires have heightened sensory awareness it’s cool, but when I have it it’s ‘autism’