Sometimes I’m Sad The Pokemon Manga Will Never Be Animated And Sometimes I Remember I Know How To Animate

uh oh!

life is great. the birds chirping are great. being alive is great. everything is great great great!!!!

On my first day in Germany I got to my hotel and I couldn't get the lights to turn on. And I was like "Eh, fuck it, I'll just take a shower in the dark." And then the shower wouldn't get hot. I waited and waited and it stayed ice cold.

So I go down to the front desk and I'm like "My lights won't turn on and my shower won't get hot" so they send this guy up with me. We get into the room and I flick the switch and nothing happens so I'm like "See?"

And he goes "You must put your card in the slot."

"I... what? I have to put my room card in the light switch?"

"Of course!"

Now I have been in many hotels in the US and never encountered this concept, but apparently it was something most of their guests already knew. So I'm looking like a fool at this point. I feel like an idiot. The dude is fully grinning at me. I put the card in the slot and voila, the light turns on.

Then he's like "Ok, let's see if the shower works. You know you must wait for the hot water?" and I just know he's thinking I'm an idiot who also can't use a shower. This stupid American can't wait for the hot water! She can't even use a light switch or a shower!

And I guess he was distracted by these thoughts of my stupidity, because this dude fully stepped into the shower. In his nice dress shirt and slacks. He just. Gets into the shower.

And turns it on.

Have you ever seen a playing field get leveled instantaneously

Today hasn't been very good. Reblog to cover prev in blankets and tell them everything is going to be okay and they're loved.

If you wear glasses, do you take them off to eat?

the voice of the devil

reblog if youre an idiot. reblog if youre just a fucking fool.

How to Fall Asleep In Their Arms

Calm down, this is a peaceful and relaxing setting. No need to worry.

Don’t forget to breathe, this is important, you don’t want to seem dead. It might worry them.

Listen to their heartbeat, yours will sync up with it sooner or later. This will calm you even more.

Pay attention to their breathing, like the heartbeats, yours will sync with theirs at some point.

Get comfortable, they love you and wouldn’t let anything hurt you. You’re safe here.

Shut your eyes. You don’t need to see what’s going on in the world anymore. You’re safe here.

Try to tune out the background noise around you. Nothing else in the world matters aside from the two of you in this moment. You’re safe here.

Drift off to sleep. They’ve got you, you’ll be fine. You’re safe here.

Don’t wake up. You don’t need to leave. You’re safe here.

More guides

A Guide to Naming Your Children

Surviving IKEA

If you are a researcher or adventurer and want to share a guide, join our subreddit!