MOON

it’s your birthday

i want so badly to hold you

to suffocate you in kisses

to tell you

with me

you’re always wanted.

i think i enhanced you

in my mind

even dust particles

in the light

look like sparkles

they have something to say to the homophobes

he makes me feel so drained

i can’t help but wonder

if he purposely forces the life out of me

so i feel he’s the only one who can give it back

i have an eclipse father

he’s rarely home & when he is it’s only physically

but in the summer

in the summer he’s my protector, my sweet father

he rides roller coasters with me

and teaches me about the world

but then fall rolls around

and again i’m left cold

this aged so well… my mom just recently told me that this same aunt is bisexual.

she def has gaydar and i def alerted it! :)

thinking about how my cool democratic aunt bought me a book about a girl with internalized homophobia in an extremely religious town, that literally entirely applies to me.... do y’all think she knows somehow🤔

“that’s the only time you’ve dreamed of me?”

“i don’t dream.”

“everyone dreams. you just don’t remember. like how you don’t remember the color of my eyes. or hurting me just to ask to be let back in again.”

my darling,

you are like a firefly.

always flitting just out of reach

your glow impossible to grasp.

- so why do i keep chasing

to you, secrets are a game. to me, secrets are a treacherous weight.

“i don’t think we were ever just friends.”