Watching A Video On Aphobic Memes Reminded Me Of Something...

Watching a video on aphobic memes reminded me of something...

It was basically like "Asexual and aromantic people don't face systemic oppression!"

And... we do. Take a look around at how much value society places on sex and romance. Many systems rely on the expectation you will fall in love and get married. We've all heard the meme about getting married for tax reasons. Romance is even used as a measure of happiness. I'm in therapy, and my therapist will sometimes have to use certain charts and templates with me. A good chunk of them always involve discussing romantic life. I'm blessed that she is perfectly accepting of me being aroace, and we've even discussed how harmful it is that there's so much pressure. I've heard of other people in the community who had their asexuality/aromanticism treated like a problem in therapy.

Or, in the medical industry: I was having severe abdominal pains and went to the ER. The nurses were absolutely convinced it was an STD, despite me swearing I'm not sexually active. They only focused on the idea of an STD. It later ended up being an intestinal issue. They pressured me into doing a pelvic exam, then used the wrong size instrument so I was screaming in pain the whole time. All because they couldn't believe there was a patient who did NOT have sex. Who was NOT in a relationship. The expectation was that teenager = sex.

We are continuously taught this idea that everyone has sex and falls in love. All of our systems are built around it. Our whole society expects it. If you are not in any relationship, you are stereotyped as lonely and/or crazy. If you are in a purely sexual relationship, you are stereotyped as being vain and sex-crazed. If you are in a purely romantic relationship, you are stereotyped as leading your partner on and incompatible with others.

I'm fortunate enough to have grown up surrounded by people who loved and supported me for my identity. I love myself for my identity. But even I have still faced discrimination and harm as a result of it. I still get anxious when a doctor touches me. I still feel left behind when I see my friends getting into relationships. But I don't want to change myself.

I want to change the world around me. We deserve better.