I See The Joke A Lot, But Every Time I Do, I’m Just Like “Same!”

Meet my latest D&D character! Skaria Bladelove, half-orc monk!

Card House - Chapter 1 pt. 1

Jay stretched, got out of bed, and started looking through their closet for something to wear. They debated between the gangster-movie suit and the murder-mystery dress for a moment, and went with the dress. They made sure it was one they could change out of quickly, though. Jay still remembered the time a guard threw up on them. The Hearts overindulge way too easy. At least he tipped them before ordering another drink. Jay looked back at the bed, smiling at the way Alex’s hair formed a sort of abstract flower. Jay kissed her, and went to turn on the ‘Open’ sign in the window. ——— Alex yawned, looking around. She started to reach for Jay, then noticed the time. “Shit!” She jumped up and dressed as quickly as she could. She made sure that it’d be something that Jay would like, but not too flashy. That’d draw attention away from Jay and, by extension, the bar. Jay didn’t mind if any of the patrons flirted with Alex or if she flirted back a little, as long as she wasn’t too serious. Alex hurriedly fixed her hair as she walked out into the main room. “And here’s my beautiful lady!” exclaimed Jay as they kissed Alex on the cheek. They slid someone’s drink down to them, then rolled her eyes as Alex blushed and smoothed her hair. “Alex, your hair is beautiful. You don’t need to change it.” Alex smile a little sheepishly, then said “Thanks, b-but . . ,” she winked at Jay. “We can keep doing that later.” She grabbed the serving off the counter and a few drinks, then got to work. ———— Alex was walking past the window when she noticed the guards approaching. And they didn’t look like they were here to drink. Alex quickly scanned the uniforms - two Clubs, a Diamond, and a Heart, all of them in full armor. She caught Jay’s eye, then made a few quick gestures, a sort of sign language the two of them came up with. Jay nodded, and started pulling a few specific bottles. They sighed, and made sure they had the extra suit stashed under the bar. The guards slammed the door open, and the whole of Clubs’ Tavern went quite. One of the Club guards - tall, fair tan, wavy black hair, and familiar - said “Everyone out!” She turned to Alex and Jay. “Except you two.”

i spent like ten minutes last night just finding a bunch of stuff for an outfit that’s probably never gonna happen. i was tired. i have no excuses

Card House - Chapter 1 pt. 4

Jay and Tally were alone now. “What is it?” Tally said, confused. “Follow me.” Jay simply took her into one of the rooms off the hallway, sat down, and said “Please don’t check the attic.” Tally was about to say something, when Jay said “You still owe me from the incident with Alex.” Tally closed her mouth, and asked quietly “Can I at least know why?” Jay leaned their head back and stared at the ceiling for a moment, before slowly saying “Someone loved someone else. That’s all I’ll say.” Tally almost asked who, but then realized who it was. Her eyes widened, then nodded. “I see.” Jay sighed. “Don’t let anyone know I told you.” They looked at her. “Especially not Alex.” Tally nodded again, and made her way down the stairs. “It’s clear. Anyone else find anything?” The other guards gave a ‘no ma’am.’ The three walked outside and waited. Tally turned to look Jay walking back behind the bar, winked out of sight from Alex, and walked out. Jay blinked in surprise, then smiled slightly. A voice came from the attic. “Are they gone yet?” Jay responded “They’re gone, James.” Another voice muttered something about staying up there and not putting a shirt back on, making James laugh. Alex smiled, and asked “Who e-exactly didn’t have their shirt on, Ace?” Another laugh came from the attic. “Why? Trying hook up with James?” Alex blushed and started stuttering. Jay laughed and went to open the hatch.

Idk why but this made me laugh harder than I think it should

My question is, am I the only one who wants a get pan pride flag just to run around with it like a cape?

this is what it’s like to play dungeons and dragons. i have nothing else to say

I’m just listening to music and a song in korean starts playing and I’m like “ok i guess this happening now” and it’s pretty freaking good

can’t not reblog

Soft body + rigid body physics test with Porygon and Porygon2