Best Of Luck I Never Trust Those Things. Then Again I Did Get My Second Trumpet Off Amazon.

My ex-clarinetist brother has just picked up french horn, and within the span of two days he has broken the string on one on the valves.

Our trumpet section isnt nearly that close, but damn, I wish it was. But either way. Fight me, I dare you.

Who You Should Fight: Marching Band Edition

piccolo

who wins: them

don’t do it.  don’t fight the piccolo player.  just don’t.

flute

who wins: them

they were told you were challenging them for first chair. run while you still can.

clarinet

who wins: them

threaten you with their register key.  forfeit for the sake of all.

saxophone

who wins: them

you are promptly deemed a “nerd” and stuffed in a band locker by the entire section even though you only wanted to fight one of them.

low reeds

who wins: no one

 you yell increasingly bad sexual innuendos at each other across the band room for twenty minutes until you both get tired and go home.

mellophone

who wins: them

punches you in the face repeatedly on the offbeats of a sousa march playing in the background.

trumpet

who wins: you and then them

you win the fight easily while they’re giving their villainous monologue.  entire trumpet section later jumps you in a dark hallway for disgracing one of their own.

trombone

who wins: no one

they get distracted halfway through the fight and wander off.

low brass

who wins: them

you mock them by making farting noises with your lips.  they punch you in the stomach with their abnormally strong arms.  you can’t breath properly for days.

pit percussion

who wins: you

pretend like you can’t tell the vibes, marimba, and xylophone apart.  wait until they’re blind with rage, then run them over with the closest wheeled pit equipment.

drumline

who wins: them

show up to the fight with a shank fashioned out of a broken drum stick.  proceed to kick ass.

drum major

who wins: them

calls you to attention (you can’t disobey!) and then waits until you faint from exhaustion.

color guard

who wins: them

have you ever watched one of these fuckers on the field?  you’re screwed.

band director

who wins: them

just when you think you’ve won, they get up smiling and say “one more time!”

So we were plotting one of our new shows, and I'm marching normally, but some of the flutes go up to this one other flute next to me in one set and asks why she has to cross 3 and a half yard lines.

3 AND A HALF YARD LINES. IN. 12. COUNTS.

So I did some math and that's about a 3.4 to 5 step if anyone was wondering.

And no matter how much all of the flutes (and mellos, who do the same thing) are struggling. It is hilarious to watch.

ITS LIKE THEYRE PRANCING ACROSS THE FIELD IT GREAT.

OK new game. Use this website to see how common your first name is, and then put that number in the tags. 

EDIT: This isn’t my website, so I can’t say how accurate it is. It’s just a fun tool to play around with. Sorry if your name doesn’t show up! :[ 

*Lightning on the feild*

Literally Everybody: We're human lightning rods!!!!

Literally Everybody: *Sticks instruments and flags into the air as high as they possibly can*

please support this interracial french gay couple and their 20 kids

Marching Quotes #2

"Its a weed cookie!"

"I am magenta and therefore I dont exist."

"I. AM. A. SHRUB."

"Oh god, they're forming a circle."

"Its crop top season!"

"I ate a small child. I'm not sorry."

"Theres pot brownies by the trumpet tree!"

"Cooking class contraband - you cant bring in premade cookies"

“You haven’t tried either and therefore you are nothing.”

“AAAAHHH MY FAMILY!” -Alumni

“Give us the tinfoil, we’re making a wall.”

"I can see the shit stain on the back of your pants."

"Hippity hoppity, all of your family is now my property."

"CHOO CHOO!"

"Band directors dont eat."

"WHAT ARE YOU AN ANIMAL?!"

"You're actually f**king Jesus!"

French horns can be woodwinds if they want to

After years of being told off for my instrument choice because "trumpet is the easiest instrument" and "I can play taps trumpet is super easy" and even "I played some notes as a boy scout it was very easy"

I have come to a standpoint.

Yes, trumpet is easy to play, but trumpet is very hard to be good at.

Thank you I am tired of clarinets saying I'm useless

Edit: Tumblr clarinets are v chill ily the clarinets in my class sucK