I Still Haven’t Decided If I Should Lick Or Pat This Majestic Creature

From now on im tellin jobs I was General manager at Toys R Us. Who tf they gone call

The wedding is about to begin!!

I would like to apologise for adding to the problem, but being annoying is more fun than being helpful

everyday I get notifications from this hellsite. make it stop

Source 

When I was very young, probably about 5, I freaked out my friend by asking to dissect the dead spider we found in his room

The two of us, and some other boy, were playing around in his room when he decided to move a box that hadn’t been moved since he gained the room the year or so before. He and the random boy were horrified to find a rather large dead spider curled up behind it. I on the other hand was delighted. Finally, a chance to dissect something.

Our mothers were alerted to our discovery by the screams of my playmates, followed quickly by the sound of a very unhappy child stomping down the stairs. In trudged me, frowning and holding the dead spider in both hands.

I complained to my mother that no one else wanted to dissect the spider, especially since it was already dead and thus we wouldn’t need to kill it. She then had to convince me that my friend’s mother, who at this point was several shades greener than usual, very much did not want me to leave it next to the tea for her to dissect later.

i am sick! and grumpy! and fully of mucus!!! and if anyone wants to buy me some ramen and/or tell me a story of humorously blundering childhood mishaps, that would be most pleasing indeed!

I have decides to use this as a dumping ground for thoughts that I probably shouldn’t force anyone to see. I am sorry in advance

Girl help my brain has convinced me that I’ll be violently judged and executed for being myself on an anonymous social media site then guilts me for not reblogging everything that it stopped me from reblogging 💀

No but I was trying to write drafts for my English class’s creative portfolio and wrote three essay length stories in two hours

Everything

everyday I get notifications from this hellsite. make it stop