I Love Razumikhin So Much

I've been trying to watch more movies with Swann Arlaud in it so I watched Perdrix last night without knowing anything about the storyline. Definitely one of the strangest movies I've seen and also surprisingly funny. I would say it's worth the watch!

House of Hummingbird 벌새 (2018)

Y'all, I just watched the Babadook on Netflix and I took from it a message I probably wasn’t intended to. Slight spoilers below.

With everything Amelia deals with, the depression from her losses, and everything that came with the Babadook, I could relate.

I don’t have a literal demon inside or around me, but when I look at it from the perspective that Amelia was dealing with significant mental illness, it makes sense to me. You can’t get rid of the Babadook, of mental illness.

But you can live with it. You can learn to control it, overpower it. To see the symptoms of mental illness flare up like the Babadook did and scream in its face to f*ck off.

Mental illness is like the Babadook. It can scare you, bring you horrifying hallucinations and prevent sleep and cause you to hurt the people you love because you can’t project the hatred you feel for something invisible onto anything that isn’t invisible. It brings you voices and the more you deny it, the stronger it becomes.

But like the Babadook, mental illness can be controlled. It can be kept on a leash and treated like what it is - a burden. It can be handled and it can be weathered through.

I don’t know how many others like me will see this and relate, but all I can say is that when your symptoms flare up and present themselves in a scary way, treat them like the Babadook. Don’t let them into your head and don’t let them make you feel like you have to be hopeless. Like you have to be afraid and tell yourself ‘It’s not real’ even if you don’t believe it.

Look those symptoms in the face like Amelia did the Babadook and scream. Even mentally, even out loud. Scream. Tell it to f*ck off, and tell it that YOU’RE the boss, and that sure, you’re afraid. You cry. You show fear and emotion. But that’s because you’re not afraid to do that. To expose your vulnerability to this thing and still be able to roar at it. To shrink it down to size and control it.

Idk, I’m sorry for this rant. But I just connect to this movie. My mental illness doesn’t define or control me. It’s the Babadook. I may not be able to get rid of it, but I’ll be damned if I let it hurt me or those I love. I can live just fine with it.

If you relate to this or know someone who will, could you pretty please reblog this?

Shinichi Sakamoto

I think one of the reasons this film resonated with many of us (or maybe it’s just me) is the fact that those of us who crave beauty in the most ordinary things want to spend our lives in a similar manner. In a time where hustling is a desired facet of one’s personality, the movie emphasizes a slow life. An enjoyable life. For those of us who want to stop and stare at the beautiful sunset/sunrise and feel content, we are trying to be part of the beauty too, in ways which we are familiar with. Capturing modest pictures that we find beautiful, treating this little life we were gifted so preciously, leaving little space for extravagance, and looking forward to a quiet life; making the most of those small moments we have for ourselves, contemplating the few books and films we’ve consumed in our lifetime, wishing we lived inside a Ghibli movie, treating life with respect.

We watched the repetitive moments earnestly because, like Hirayama, we too loved watching the leaves sway, light scattering through their gaps, and the dappled shadows, even if it was through a screen, a smile creeping onto our faces whenever Hirayama found a sight worth smiling for.

A lifetime spent searching for beautiful things is a beautiful matter in itself. Noticing the countless crevices on tree barks, recognizing the pattern of veins on a leaf when held up against the sun, feeling the warmth of a sunny day — the more you pay attention, the more these moments find you. We try to embrace love and be engulfed by it; sometimes we lose, and other times we win.

I first heard the word ‘Komorebi’ (木漏れ日) in a Radwimps song, and even without knowing its meaning, I found it very beautiful and would sing that word multiple times. Now that I know what it means, I realize that the real beauty is always there; it’s us who change in ways we couldn’t have predicted.

I don’t want to go back to being alone.

Raskolnikov talking for three full pages about how there's Ordinary People and Extraordinary People, and these people are allowed to kill the Ordinary People in order to advance humanity. And the police commissioner humoring him and asking questions about how often these people come about, to what extent their rule reaches, how to tell the difference between an Extraordinary Person and an Ordinary Person. And Razumikhin finally interrupting them by yelling WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU FUCKING TALKING ABOUT

everyone talks a lot about suffering and despair as it pertains to Dostoevsky’s work which is totally fair and understandable given the subject matter but I rarely see discussion of how deeply and sacredly tender the end of C&P is. I think there’s a very important lesson to be learned which is that you do not unilaterally get to decide that you are horrid beyond redemption and unworthy of love, no matter what horrible things you’ve done. Sonya and Razumikhin and Dunya do not abandon Rodya as he thinks they should and in fact they uproot their entire lives to make sure there will still be a place for him in the world when he gets out of prison. Other people have free will and they can use that free will to unconditionally love and forgive you and there’s nothing you can do about that, whether you choose to receive it or not so you may as well receive it- even if you feel unworthy. And that is like the very beginning of hope and coming back from the place of no return. Is letting yourself be loved. And letting yourself be loved—- even if you don’t feel that you deserve it—- opens the gateway to experiencing love for others yourself after a prolonged period of cutting yourself off from feeling those feelings of positive regard. It’s a stream that flows both ways. And it doesn’t change any of the horrifying facts about the past. But it makes it possible to begin to live again.

I'm convinced, that "Koisenu futari" is an extremely underrated show. The importance of its existence is simply enormous. Not only because of the aroace representation, but also because of how it helps allosexual people see what life and relationships can look like from a completely different perspective. How it teaches them to be more open and accepting of people who are different from them. And how it completely destroys all the patterns of modern film industry, considering that even in children's cartoons there is still, not very big, but usually at least some kind of romantic plotline for the main character. I'm so in love with this drama that I just can't