It Was A Dark And Spermy Night...

You’re the villain and you know that, you just want the ‘good guys’ to understand why.

I just want some ice cream but if I pull it out my dad will want some and I absolutely do not want to share with my dad

Please tell me he leaves soon

why is “get ___ed idiot” one of the funniest sentences in the english language

I was talking to my friend, having a conversation about god, and I mentioned how I'm not sure I believe in God because how would he let the things that happen happen. Then my friend said "so if there's a god, he would be an unfair god"

I... I had never thought of that before

it had never occurred to me, who was raised mormon, that a God could be anything less than perfect in every way

...anyway, gonna go re-think my entire perspective on life

My friend: everything will work out

Me, under my breath: yeah, cause I'll pick up the slack

Today the 4yo walked up to a couple of teens at the playground and said, “I know lots of ways to relax, do you want to know about one?” and they said yes so she lead them through a simple yoga session.

Anon hate is shitty and you shouldn’t do it of course but it’s also the funniest and least effective kind of hate

For starters the blogger can just delete and ignore it. And given tumblr’s penchant for eating asks I think it would drive some hate senders a little insane if they keep checking back in wondering if their ask got eaten.

For second the anon ask format guarantees the blogger gets the last word in every time. Even if anon sends a follow up message they will never get the last word. And tumblr for better or for worse seems to run on this currency of “whoever expressed the last opinion in a post is the one we’re supporting”

For third, this publishes the hate directly to the blogger’s own followers, i.e. the people MOST likely to take the blogger’s side. Home court advantage by design.

OK so I have today and tomorrow to finish this fic and I need all the motivation to SPEED WRITE the hell out of this so for every 500 words I am allowed to crawl back to this flaming hole of distractions and share ONE (1) of my dumb head canons. 

OK WORDCOUNT AT 79666 SEE YOU AT 801666

I had to use a calculator for that how embarrassing  

edit: I now see the extra 6, and I will leave it there just so that it’s very clear TO EVERYONE INVOLVED the exact degree of how EVEN WITH A CALCULATOR I do. not. feckin. math

Why is this so funny to me?

Reconciliation (an old comic)

found this in my files while looking through some old art, decided to finish the last page and just post it haha