Sassycostumegirl

Hera stood, waiting for her turn at last. The Queen of the Greek Pantheon traced the lines of neon green, its light reflecting against her true form in a soothing way. She’s no stranger to patience, to waiting. But there were little of those that had the gall to make her wait, and even smaller of that number that she would tolerate such behavior. Regardless, this was the one being she could not afford to offend and so, she waits. Her many forms, her divine self, perceived the room and compared it to her own halls of residence.

Olympus was much more intricate, carved of noble marble and inlaid with countless of priceless metals and gems and divinity. Twelve seats of power atop an engineering wonder, halls adorned with the brightest of the original flames, an hearth that was roaring at Hesta’s skillful hands.

In comparison, this throne room had been changed much since she was last here. Gone were the spikes of terror and screams of the damned. Now… it looked like the most bare throne room she’d ever bore witness to.

And yet, as she waited for the Boy King, Hera could feel the subtle thrum of impossible power. The new king did not flare his will and might like the previous tyrant, and for that, Hera approved. She has had quite enough of living with and under tyrants who cared only for themselves… and their bed achievements whilst failing spectacularly in their marital roles. Zeus was not a good life partner and Hera regretted ever saying yes to him many times in her immortal life. And yet… she loved him still.

The doors opened, and a small figure floated in, flanked by the previous King’s Knight. Perhaps that is what makes this Boy King so dangerous, Hera thought as she dipped into a bow, because he can turn the loyalest to his side.

“Your Majesty,” she greeted, in ghost speak.

“Heya, Hera!” The Boy King greeted her back, before waving the Knight away. Hera marveled, a bit, at the sheer confidence he had to dismiss his knight in her presence. Even the last king kept the knights around to ensure his power was always in display, always unchallengeable. The Boy King could destroy her with a snap of a finger and he knows it. He knows that she knows it.

“What did you need?” The Boy King asked, grin still on place as he floated to her instead of seating himself on his throne. Hera masked the bit of confusion she felt in pursuit of her goal.

“I have come here to ask of you a favor,” she began. “I am aware that… you are fond of this, the earth in which I reside in?”

Hera carefully picked her word. Everybody knows that the new King Phantom had laid claim to not only the Infinite Realms as is normal of his station, but an entire Earth as his haunt. He had the power to do so, she could finally see, now that she was standing before him. It would not do for Hera to get her strings cut because she claimed what is his.

“Sure. Why?” The Boy King tilted his head, narrowing that predator green upon her true form.

“Do you know of the Justice League, my lord?”

“Phantom’s fine,” he waved a hand. “And yeah, sure do! Why?”

Hera tilted her many forms in acknowledgement of the command. She bowed.

“My daughter, of a sort, is Diana Prince. Wonder Woman. She is… in grave danger. We can not exert our influence over a land that does not have our history. I can not interfere and aid her.”

“Oh, you want me to help her?” His tone was exasperated, and Hera spoke even more carefully in fear of offending him.

“Yes, if it pleases you. And it would be most gracious of you should Your Majesty have time to watch over her. I fear the danger will not leave her so quickly.”

There was a brief period of silence before King Phantom sighed. “And if it does not please me to do so?”

Hera looked up and locked gazes with evaluating green. “Then I am afraid I will be breaking a fair bit of cosmic law, King Phantom.”

He laughed. “Okay, yeah, I’ll check up on Wonder Woman.”

Hera blinked her many eyes, peacock feathers spreading in shock at how easily he allowed her favors. She did not even have to beg.

King Phantom turned to leave before pausing. “Hera, if you need help, just ask. Preferably without beating around the bushes next time. Also, Pandora misses you. You might want to hang around for tea later.”

Hera regarded him with the might of her divinity, which was but hardly a spec of his own kindness. The last one had not had her respect. Fear, yes. But never respect But this one…

“Yes, my King.”

“It’s just Phantom.” He shot back as he left, the Knight returning to his side once more.

Hera transformed into a more mortal form. She had not seen Pandora in a long time, the young woman had made quite an impression on her. Perhaps her old friend could be convinced in helping her punch Zeus and ruin her beloved husband’s day. Hera hummed, the green that used to flicker acidly against her divine form now only soothed. A reflection of its owner.

King Phantom is worthy of her regard.

——

Holy shit, a goddess asked him to check on the Justice League! She was super weird about it and talked in a really old way of speaking, but Danny hadn’t had anything to do for the past few days while entering the zone for his annual check up.

Danny waved away Fright Knight and dived into the portal that would take him directly to the Justice League and Diana!

He floated down from the portal, blinking at group of disheveled and injured superheroes surrounded by a group of demons. Belial?

“King Phantom.” Belial rumbled. Danny waved, not noticing the standstill his presence forced.

“Shite.” The British man cursed, drawing on his magic once more.

“King Phantom?” Diana Prince, Wonder Woman, said quizzically.

“Who?” Batman, Batman! That’s actually Batman, rumbled.

“High King of the Infinite Realms. We’re buggered if he decides to help Belial.”

“Wait, like the god of gods, that King Phantom?” Captain Marvel asked. Ancients, why are all of them electrical based? Danny hates electricity.

Danny floated closer to them, grinning in a friendly way before frowning as they tensed up.

“King Phantom. May I ask why you have graced us with your presence, my King?”

“Hey, Wonder Woman! Your mom asked me to babysit you!” He grinned, sharp and mischievous.

“What…?” The Flash asked, zipping to their side. “Her mom? Queen Hippolyta?”

“No, Hera,” Danny said, and watched Wonder Woman straighten at his words.

“The Goddess Hera.”

“Yep!” Danny rocked back on his suddenly formed legs instead of the whisp of a tail he usually kept in the Zone. He was also still floating. Danny sent a wave of ice and froze the rest of the demons in one fell swoop.

“The rest of you can take care of clean up, yes? Diana has to get some snacks, dinner, and then go to bed.” He pushed gently at Diana’s shoulders, nudging her towards the plane. She went willingly, respectful but amused.

——

Bruce, intellectually knowing that’s a king but only seeing a superhero teenager: *fills out mental adoption paperwork*

——

Hera, a goddess, terrified of misspeaking and dying as a result: he’s so strong even though he’s young omg powerful and could end my immortal existence

Danny, an unserious king: golly gee why is she speaking like a Shakespeare novel

——

Hera, thinking Danny’s gonna be dignified: pls watch over my daughter

Danny, who has a clone he sees as a daughter and therefore has no issues babysitting a grown woman: lol snacks, dinner, bedtime

Diana:… usually I’m on the other spectrum of this but it’s from a higher up so… okay?

——

Danny, terrifying gods and ancients: they’re my friends! The power of friendship!

the thing about cracking open a long-established popular ship tag on ao3 is that it allows you to be extraordinarily picky, and i think it must be the closest thing i will ever experience to being filthy rich. i scroll along at super speed like no today i am only interested in fics with this precise range of words and one of these three tags. only authors i’ve heard of, please. hmm, i suppose i could consider an unknown quantity given its apparent popularity with the people, but… no, no, this summary doesn’t do it for me. no particular reason, it’s just… eh, i don’t need to explain myself. bring me 50 more like this for me to choose from and we’ll see.

the funniest part of my appendix removal experience was being wheeled down to the operating room and as we were going my nerves were everywhere so i half-jokingly asked the nurse taking me if she still had her appendix bc i felt not normal for getting mine out on top of having the jitters about being cut open so i was trying to fill the silence and she just.. looked mildly offended while being like “uhhhh. yeah. of course i do” like…. my bad i guess

someone: why do you read so much soulmate shit it’s cheesy 

me internally: uhh probably because i’m obsessed with the idea of unconditional love and someone who won’t abandon me. the idea that i am destined for love and therefore inherently lovable means more to me than i can express with words, and compounded with the idea of someone who will love me forever, the concept of soulmates truly appeal to the (large) part of me that makes me feel that i’m going to die alone

me aloud: i just think it’s neat

Tim: [staring intensely at Billy Batson]

Billy:.....

Billy: What?

Tim [....]: We're gonna adopt you.

Billy: What?!

Dick:.....

Dick: I'm sorry, Billy. Tim can be a little much at times. Especially when he hasn't gotten enough sleep.

Billy: Oh, yeah. No worries.

Dick [smiling wide and friendly]: What he meant to say is that our dad is going to adopt you, and you will become our newest brother!

Billy: [taking several steps back]

Billy: I.....what!

Jason: Oh my God. Why are you lunatics like this! Just *sighs exasperated* they shouldn't have told you anything.

Billy: No, that's....fine. I'm just going to---

Jason: Now you'll be so much harder to kidnap.

Billy: SHAZAM!

I love making vaguely threatening eye contact with the lady with the screaming child and absolutely nothing happening

Hey. Don’t fucking use Shutterstock.

So. I’m in deep shit because Shutterstock has no cancel plan button. Let me explain. Long story short, tried a free trial and tried to cancel after the free month was over. I called, they helped me cancel my account.

And then I got charged. Again.

So I call again. I think it gets cancelled again.

And then I get charged again. And I call again, get it cancelled. Repeat.

Keep in mind, I’m a fucking college student. I don’t have much money to begin with. At all. My only money is for testosterone, groceries, and emergencies, and OCCASIONALLY one nice thing every like. 3 or 4 months.

So I email them, after continuously trying to get ahold of them for 8. Months.

And I get this.

Read that closer, folks.

They’re charging me for the months worth of trying to cancel, thinking it was fine, and then trying to cancel again, only to be lied to.

Don’t use this shit. I thought I was getting a free trials and then was gonna cancel, and instead I’ve had money charged every 3 months, and then told I have to pay 160 dollars for the shit I already paid for.

I know this ain’t yelp but like. Fuck this bullshit.

AU where Bruce Wayne is a voice actor.

He always had an interest in acting and would've tried it but his anxiety always stopped him from getting into the game. Even trying out for the school play would get him stammering and unable to read his lines. To this day, he mourns the fact that he never got to play Benvolio.

He had given up on his dream years before he heard that there was going to be a reboot of his favourite childhood cartoon, The Gray Ghost (all of Gotham probably heard the scream he let out when he heard the news)

Sadly some of the original cast had passed away before the reboot so they couldn't reprise their roles, and this includes the original Gray Ghost. So you have Bruce hoping like any other fan that they get a good replacement. He talks about it so much that Alfred jokingly says "well Master Bruce if you're so worried about it, you should audition"

And Bruce laughs but he can't stop thinking about it. He twists and turns in bed because the idea of playing The Gray Ghost, of being to kids what the original voice actor was to him as a child, he can't say it's not appealing. He dwells on it for the next few days and while he doesn't know if his inability to perform will extend to voice acting, he wants to try.

On his way down to auditions, he is sweating. He has to have Alfred drop him cause his hands won't stop shaking. Seeing all the people in the waiting room almost makes him turn back around but Alfred talks him back into it.

(I'd like to think that everyone else there either didn't recognise him because he barely leaves the manor or they recognised him and realised that this man is chock full of anxiety so it's better to not bother him)

So he gets into the booth and once he's started reading his lines, he really gets into it. It's so much easier for him to get into character when there aren't dozens of eyes on him. He finishes, thanks them for the opportunity, goes back to the manor, grabs his stuffies and screams into his pillow.

It's weeks later when he gets a call saying that they want him as the new Gray Ghost. He absolutely does not cry into his biggest teddy bear, what are you talking about? He does hug the crap out of Alfred though. They have cookies to celebrate.

Before you know it, everyone is in love with the new voice of The Gray Ghost. Both new and old fans agree that Bruce was a great choice. I can see Bruce using a pseudonym though. Bruce Wayne is a name that has a lot of weight behind it, weight that he doesn't want to feel when he's voice acting. So he asks them to credit him as Bruce Pennyworth or smth. Alfred is sobbing.

He requests to record his lines at home because he isn't always up for leaving the manor and he doesn't want to slow down production. He'd totally have a professional ass set up cause when he's interested in something, he goes in.

Bruce Pennyworth gets offered more voice acting roles whether it's for cartoons, movies, anime dubs or ads. Harvey and Clark both wondering why the voice over in an ad for toothpaste is about to make them act up. Every single one of the batkids went through the "OH MY GOD, YOU'RE BRUCE PENNYWORTH?!?" phase.

( @bruciemilf come get your juice)

Nah it's fallen to Tumblr now my man best to just let it go

the "came back wrong" trope except like... they didnt. like this mad scientists wife died, and so he studied necromancy, brought her back, and she came back and it all worked. like she came back exactly the same as she was before with literally no difference. but the scientist guy is like "oh no... what have i done.... shes Different now!!!! she came back Wrong!!!!" and shes just like. chilling. reading a book. cooking dinner. shes just so so normal but in the guys mind hes like "oh shes soooo weird" but shes just normal

idk if this is a young fan thing or new fandom culture but some of yall think fics are abandoned way too quickly. a few months or a year or two is not unusual to go without a fic update. sometimes fics take longer to write, other times writers have rl events, or maybe there's multiple fics and one gets more priority. there are tons of reasons for fics not to be updated every week or every month. it also isn't uncommon for people to come back and update fics after a number of years—ive read updates that took five, or ten years. people's lives change, but they still want to tell their stories. personally, i never consider a fic abandoned unless the author has said so; though if it's been a few years i manage my expectations. but a last update being a year ago is... generally not a sign that a writer has abandoned their fic