Being The Only Guy Who Works In A Beauty Store Is Fucking Hilarious Sometimes. Im The Only One Who Can

Ngl I was trying to figure out way too long why using pineapple juice to poison Duke was dumb. Like? He's allergic! That kills him! That's a simple solution when you don't have drugs to do the same.

Then I remembered: Miles was trying to frame it like he was the intended victim. This only works if there was actually a drug in there. With the pineapple juice, it's very clear that either 1) Miles accidently put pineapple in his drink and Duke picked it up tragically or 2) Miles intentionally put pineapple juice in his drink and murdered Duke.

Either way, he can not frame it as an attempt on his life, and ALSO he would have in best case scenerio with all good intentions, accidently murdered a guy. Manslaughter. By using the pineapple juice he assured he couldn't have been the victim.

Most recent thing my niece is absolutely devastated sobbing about: she can't put a plastic Play-Doh toy in her mother's mouth

This is what happens when basic cosplay is attempted. #enchantress #suicidesquad

Some discord servers run the channels like it’s the fucking navy. You talk about fan art in the fan fiction channel? Your ass is getting sent to the #brig

Thanos, the Great Liar: Part 2

Hey, Thanos, your plan is to genocide exactly half of intelligent life in the universe so that they can all thrive and live in happiness and prosperity, right?

Yeah, I thought so.

But there’s someone who went against your plan and betrayed your ideals from the very beginning, someone very, very close to you. It ain’t the Avengers. It certainly ain’t your stepdaughters. Wanna know who it is?

It’s you.

Yes, you. You went against your own plan from its very beginning. What? You don’t think so? Then I guess I’ll have to introduce - or reintroduce - you to a mutual acquaintance.

This is Eitri the Dwarf, King of Nidavellir. Not that he can be king anymore, what with you killing all his subjects and mangling his hands.

Eitri here can tell us more about the real you in ten minutes than you can in your entire effing screentime. Just listen to him talk to Thor.

“Three hundred Dwarves lived on this ring. I thought if I did what he asked, they’d be safe. I made what he wanted: a device capable of harnessing the power of the stones. And he killed everyone anyway. All except me. ‘Your life is yours’, he said. 'But your hands… Your hands are mine alone.’ ”

There were three hundred Dwarves on Nidavellir. After you left, only one remains. If you even had an inkling of determination to follow your plan, you would have left 150 of them alive, but you didn’t. Maybe you think 300÷2=1, in which case you need to get some basic fucking math education. Or maybe you were scared that they would make another weapon, one that could (gasp) even kill you! Because why wouldn’t they want to kill you when you finish slaughtering half of them? Then you ruined Eitri’s hands so even he couldn’t build another mighty weapon. Because you were scared of them. You were scared of their retribution.

Oh, and another thing. Look behind Eitri. Notice how it’s completely dark? That’s because you extinguished the Forge - the instrument of the Dwarves’ work and pretty much the reason of their existence - just so you could be sure nobody could ever wield a weapon as mighty as yours and challenge you.

This is why you are the greatest betrayer of your own plan, Thanos. You went against your own ideals the moment you killed the 151th Dwarf. Not only did you kill much more than half of the Dwarves, you destroyed their way of life and ensured that they would never thrive again. I’ve mentioned earlier that you lied to your stepdaughter about her home planet, but you also lied to yourself. Your 'plan’ was never a real thing, just a mask to hide your true intentions of becoming the most powerful being in the universe. You see yourself as a revolutionary, but you’re not even close to being one. You’re a maniac. That’s all you are: a genocidal maniac, and nothing more.

today the girl ringing me up at the gas station said “ok, have a nice day. i love you” and i said “what” and she repeated “i love you” with better diction

Kind of obsessed with the tumblr Twitter account

what are ukuleles made of?

Guitars that have shrunk in the laundry.

I don’t know who cares to hear this but if someone asks you to hang out and you can’t but you genuinely want to hang out with them, let them know that the time(s) they suggested don’t work for you and offer new times that do.

If you just say you “can’t/that time doesn’t work” with no follow up, it communicates a disinterest (to a lot of people) just a little tip on maintaining relationships

woke up this morning to a comment on a fic saying they hoped I didn’t mind them commenting on such an old fic, and the fic isn’t even a year old, so I’m going to reiterate: I can’t speak for every single fanfic writer in the world, but I don’t know a single one myself who wouldn’t be thrilled to get comments on years-old fanfic! there is no deadline! it honestly made my day