Happy International Asexuality Day!!

💚💜♠️ sending so much love to any tumblr folk who are on the asexual &/or aromantic spectrums like me. ♠️💜💚

♠️What is Asexuality?♠️

An Asexual is a person who rarely or never experiences sexual attraction. They are not drawn to people sexually and do not feel compelled to act on attraction to others in a sexual way. Asexuality does not preclude you from experiencing other types of attraction (including romantic attraction) to people of the same or different gender to yourself, or define whether you want to be in a committed relationship.

💜Why is awareness important? 💜

An absence of attraction is much harder to define than a presence; and lack of awareness means many people have no idea that there are words to describe their experiences or others who feel the same. While the term has been in common use since the 1960s, many people are well over the age of 25 when they first hear the word - especially if they experience romantic attraction to the opposite gender and haven’t had much exposure to the broader LGBTIQAP+ community. When you’re told all of your life that romantic feelings about someone are inextricably linked to sexual attraction it can be confusing when your experiences don’t seem to match. It can also be hard to tell what is hyperbole and what are thoughts that allosexual (the opposite of asexual) people have the intention of doing?

There is are strong social and cultural messages which use the development of sexual thoughts, sexual relationships and having children as markers of age and maturity. It can be difficult to express a lack of sexual desire without being invalidated or challenged by the people around you or your own built in expectation that sex is fundamental to being human. Are you medically or psychologically unwell? Are you repressed? Broken? Prudish? A late bloomer? Will this “all make sense” when I meet “the right person”?

While most identities on the LGBTIQAP+ spectrum are becoming better protected from medicalisation and psychiatric diagnosis - Asexuality has a long way to go.

It is still very common for people who are questioning or on the Asexuality spectrum to be offered medical testing and treatment aimed at curing their Asexuality. Most GPs still routinely recommend blood tests to check hormone levels, assessment for depression or other mental illnesses, recommend counselling or prescribe medication to boost libido.

♠️Celibacy Vs Asexuality♠️

Celibacy is like being on a diet. You still want to have sex and have sexual thoughts about others but are choosing not to act on them at that time. Whether it’s based on your beliefs or availability of a suitable partner varies but that desire is still present even if intentionally suppressed.

Asexuality is like not experiencing hunger because you’re already eaten enough. You don’t have sexual thoughts about others or feel compelled to act on them.

💜Attraction Vs Libido💜

Libido is typically the amount that you think about sex and how much you want to engage in sexual activities either partnered or solo. Libido is on a spectrum for people of all sexual orientations. They normally range from high to low. Libido can fluctuate and change over the lifespan and it can be influenced by hormone levels as well as some medications.

Attraction is usually whether your libido is directed at a particular person or type of person. Attraction can also be seen as the extent to which you want to act on sexual thoughts about a particular person.

Asexual people can and do experience a range of libidos from high to low. However they do not experience attraction, therefore are less likely to feel compelled to act on it and rarely associate it with a specific person.

♠️Attitudes towards Sex♠️

Asexuality is a wide spectrum, individual wants and needs vary but all are valid and normal.

In broad terms: Some asexuals are sex positive, they may not experience hunger but still get pleasure out of sharing a meal with someone. Some asexuals are ambivalent towards sex, it’s something they can take or leave. Some asexuals are completely or partially repelled by the idea of personally participating in sexual activity with a partner.

Resources:

Asexuality Visability & Education Network (AVEN) www.Asexuality.org

‘Finding Asexuality in the Archives’ by Michael Waters (Article on the history of Asexuality)

‘Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex’ by Angela Chen (Nonfiction book) http://www.angelachen.org/ace.html

The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality by Julie Sondra Decker (Nonfiction Book)

A-Ok Podcast (30-60 min interviews with people on the Asexual &/or Aromantic Spectrums) https://www.aokpod.com

There are a lot of fictional books for adults and teens with asexual characters & if anyone is interested I can provide links 😊

Hey look, actual "unique" questions

1: Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?

2: Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?

3: Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?

4: Have you ever stolen a street sign before?

5: Do you like to use post-it notes?

6: Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?

7: Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees?

8: Do you have freckles?

9: Do you always smile for pictures?

10: What is your biggest pet peeve?

11: Do you ever count your steps when you walk?

12: Have you ever peed in the woods?

13: What about pooped in the woods?

14: Do you ever dance even if theres no music playing?

15: Do you chew your pens and pencils?

16: How many people have you slept with this week?

17: What size is your bed?

18: What is your Song of the week?

19: Is it okay for guys to wear pink?

20: Do you still watch cartoons?

21: Whats your least favorite movie?

22: Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?

23: If you're a girl, bra size? If you're a guy, pants size?

24: What do you dip a chicken nugget in?

25: What is your favorite food?

26: What movies could you watch over and over and still love?

27: Last person you kissed/kissed you?

28: Were you ever a boy/girl scout?

29: Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?

30: When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?

31: Can you change the oil on a car?

32: Ever gotten a speeding ticket?

33: Ever ran out of gas?

34: Favorite kind of sandwich?

35: Best thing to eat for breakfast?

36: What is your usual bedtime?

37: Are you lazy?

38: When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween?

39: What is your Chinese astrological sign?

40: Are you horny?

41: Do you have any magazine subscriptions?

42: Which are better legos or lincoln logs?

43: Are you stubborn?

44: Who is better...Leno or Letterman?

45: Ever watch soap operas?

46: Are you afraid of heights?

47: Do you sing in the car?

48: Do you sing in the shower?

49: Do you dance in the car?

50: Ever used a gun?

51: Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?

52: Do you think musicals are cheesy?

53: Is Christmas stressful?

54: Ever eat a pierogi?

55: Favorite type of fruit pie?

56: Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?

57: Do you believe in ghosts?

58: Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?

59: Take a vitamin daily?

60: Wear slippers?

61: Wear a bath robe?

62: What do you wear to bed?

63: First concert?

64: Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?

65: Nike or Adidas?

66: Cheetos Or Fritos?

67: Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?

68: Ever hear of the group Tres Bien?

69: Ever take dance lessons?

70: Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?

71: Can you curl your tongue?

72: Ever won a spelling bee?

73: Have you ever cried because you were so happy?

74: Own any record albums?

75: Own a record player?

76: Regularly burn incense?

77: Ever been in love?

78: Who would you like to see in concert?

79: What was the last concert you saw?

80: Hot tea or cold tea?

81: Tea or coffee?

82: Sugar or snickerdoodles?

83: Can you swim well?

84: Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?

85: Are you patient?

86: DJ or band, at a wedding?

87: Ever won a contest?

88: Ever have plastic surgery?

89: Which are better black or green olives?

90: Can you knit or crochet?

91: Best room for a fireplace?

92: Do you want to get married?

93: If married, how long have you been married?

94: Who was your HS crush?

95: Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way?

96: Do you have kids?

97: Do you want kids?

98: Whats your favorite color?

99: Do you miss anyone right now?

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sapphire-53

7 years ago

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sapphire-53

8 years ago

I was taught young how to be stone-cold, self-reliant, to hold myself high and poised, with a ready smile and a subtle charm ready to conquer the world. So I learned from early on to only cry behind close doors, on dim lights, without sound, to howl in pain silently, to break down without anyone knowing, and to never ask for help. Because when no one sees you suffering, do you really suffer? Much like, when a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? I can always just pretend that whatever pains me never happened, and I can always go back and face the world pretending I’m okay.

cynthia go // If a tree falls in a forest [88/365] (via cynthiatingo)

1K notes View Post

sapphire-53

10 months ago