For Those Of You With Anxiety

[Montauk - Part 3]

wine, cigarettes, and you –

moments.  

so what if the echoes of chronos run through my veins pumping nightmare fuel into my heart and so what if i’m made of things that are dark

in nature?

we can pretend the universe is not buried in the shadows where God can’t see no matter how bright that sun shines and how fresh this air is that we breathe

our galaxy is moving 515,000 miles per hour around a giant black hole with shark teeth and we stand here as pixels of consciousness –

grounded on our feet

praying to the dark sun and watching the black helicopters burn.  what if we are a string of unstable electrons in the nucleus of an experimental dimension bearing the consequences of it’s errors

at the mercy of a creator unwilling to accept defeat

moving between galaxy clusters and different dimensions –

seeking the original path of the divine source before it was hijacked and diverted by [classified]

our history is buried in the shadows and we’ve lost touch with who we truly are and we still find a reason to smile because even if the world collapses into nothing

we’ll still have each other.

whatever it is you try, wherever it is you go, keep at it. 

Hoshi wo Tadoreba (Translation)

「星を辿れば」大原ゆい子 “Chasing the Stars”, Ohara Yuiko Listen (x) | Japanese lyrics: (x)

In a daze I chased after a shooting star Longing to know more About the world stretching before me

Don’t just wish for your dreams to come true Just opening the door, we draw a little bit closer

I can’t wait, let’s find out what’s next in our story You’re not the only one who believes in the future So even though the scenery is ever-changing I’ll never let go of the treasures we found beneath the shining sky

Through the tears, the laughter, eating and sleeping And all the times of worry Thank you for staying by my side I’ll see you tomorrow

I’ll never be able to write down all these days That I pictured across the night sky Like little lights that connect into constellations

I haven’t reached my dreams yet But I stretch out my hand Straight towards my goals

The light from the day I had my dream shines even still Through any darkness, that I’ll never lose my way Surely I won’t reach it just shining by myself But those special words I found will always support me

I thought about the lively day today Looking up at the night sky before I sleep

The stars inlayed up there are brilliant There’s nothing quite like them I won’t let any cracks in any of my odd hopes This miracle I happened upon will only keep coming over time

Through the joy, the anger, the worries And all the hectic days Thank you for staying by my side Good night See you tomorrow

Happy International Asexuality Day!

6th April marks the first celebration of IAD which has been organised by various groups around the world.

Happy International Asexuality Day! Today is a day for celebrating all people who identify under the asexual umbrella and spreading awareness about their experiences.

A number of ace organisations worked together to make April 6th 2021 the very first International Asexuality Day.

The themes of today are:

• Advocacy

• Celebration

• Education

• Solidarity

What is asexuality?

• Feeling little to no sexual attraction

Some asexual people also feel no romantic attraction. This is known as aromantic.

However, some asexual people do feel romantic attraction. This is broadly known as alloromantic, but can be more specific such as biromantic (romantically attracted to two or more genders but experience little/no sexual attraction).

Asexuality is a spectrum!

Here’s just a few identities within the asexual umbrella:

Demisexual - someone who does not experience sexual attraction until they have formed a deep emotional connection with someone

Grey-asexual – someone who feels sexual attraction weakly, infrequently, or in specific contexts

Aceflux – someone whose sexual orientation fluctuates but generally stays on the asexual spectrum

Lithosexual – someone who does experience sexual attraction but does not want it reciprocated. Person may be uncomfortable at the thought of someone being sexually attracted to them, or they may lose their sexual feelings if they learn it's reciprocated.

Fraysexual – when someone only experiences sexual attraction towards those that they are not deeply connected with, and lose that attraction as they get to know the person.

Why is awareness important?

• Combats acephobia

• Challenges normativity

• Helps provide support

• Feelings of connectedness and community ; feel less alone

• Dispel myths and misunderstandings

• Help normalise asexuality and other LGBTQ+ identities

• Representation ; increasing visibility

• Helps highlight the issues faced

• Celebrating people on the asexual spectrum

tag yourself student edition

who cares: reads books in class instead of listening, attention span of 5 seconds when studying, generally starts studying in the day before, lost all their new fancy pens by week 2, still somehow gets A*, sometimes starts arguing with the teacher

i can and i will: motivated af, watches legally blonde 24/7, big dreams and aspirations, bullet journal is goals, sometimes very forgetful but makes up for it through very hard work, wants to figure out everything by themselves before asking for help

hello my name is stressed: signed up for 10000 extracurriculars and can’t get out of them now, time management god, hates the glorification of all-nighters but stays up until 6 am anyway, has the highest expectations regarding themselves, needs a hug

aesthetics TM: desperately wants their notes to look perfect, spends all their money on stationery, loves to doodle, PUNS, is great in one specific class, always tries to help their friends with homework, study playlists!!!, can still easily feel overwhelmed and lost but they try and that’s enough

what: has lost their motivation somewhere along the way, has no idea what’s going on, “there was homework”, messy notes and messy life, really wants school to end, hates the education system, has no idea what they want to do after school tho

One of my favorite Pokespe scenes!

So You Need To Buy A Computer But You Don't Know What Specs Are Good These Days

Hi.

This is literally my job.

Lots of people are buying computers for school right now or are replacing computers as their five-year-old college laptop craps out so here's the standard specs you should be looking for in a (windows) computer purchase in August 2023.

PROCESSOR

Intel i5 (no older than 10th Gen)

Ryzen 7

You can get away with a Ryzen 5 but an intel i3 should be an absolute last resort. You want at least an intel i5 or a Ryzen 7 processor. The current generation of intel processors is 13, but anything 10 or newer is perfectly fine. DO NOT get a higher performance line with an older generation; a 13th gen i5 is better than an 8th gen i7. (Unfortunately I don't know enough about ryzens to tell you which generation is the earliest you should get, but staying within 3 generations is a good rule of thumb)

RAM

8GB absolute minimum

If you don't have at least 8GB RAM on a modern computer it's going to be very, very slow. Ideally you want a computer with at least 16GB, and it's a good idea to get a computer that will let you add or swap RAM down the line (nearly all desktops will let you do this, for laptops you need to check the specs for Memory and see how many slots there are and how many slots are available; laptops with soldered RAM cannot have the memory upgraded - this is common in very slim laptops)

STORAGE

256GB SSD

Computers mostly come with SSDs these days; SSDs are faster than HDDs but typically have lower storage for the same price. That being said: SSDs are coming down in price and if you're installing your own drive you can easily upgrade the size for a low cost. Unfortunately that doesn't do anything for you for the initial purchase.

A lot of cheaper laptops will have a 128GB SSD and, because a lot of stuff is stored in the cloud these days, that can be functional. I still recommend getting a bit more storage than that because it's nice if you can store your music and documents and photos on your device instead of on the cloud. You want to be able to access your files even if you don't have internet access.

But don't get a computer with a big HDD instead of getting a computer with a small SSD. The difference in speed is noticeable.

SCREEN (laptop specific)

Personally I find that touchscreens have a negative impact on battery life and are easier to fuck up than standard screens. They are also harder to replace if they get broken. I do not recommend getting a touch screen unless you absolutely have to.

A lot of college students especially tend to look for the biggest laptop screen possible; don't do that. It's a pain in the ass to carry a 17" laptop around campus and with the way that everything is so thin these days it's easier to damage a 17" screen than a 14" screen.

On the other end of that: laptops with 13" screens tend to be very slim devices that are glued shut and impossible to work on or upgrade.

Your best bet (for both functionality and price) is either a 14" or a 15.6" screen. If you absolutely positively need to have a 10-key keyboard on your laptop, get the 15.6". If you need something portable more than you need 10-key, get a 14"

FORM FACTOR (desktop specific)

If you purchase an all-in-one desktop computer I will begin manifesting in your house physically. All-in-ones take away every advantage desktops have in terms of upgradeability and maintenance; they are expensive and difficult to repair and usually not worth the cost of disassembling to upgrade.

There are about four standard sizes of desktop PC: All-in-One (the size of a monitor with no other footprint), Tower (Big! probably at least two feet long in two directions), Small Form Factor Tower (Very moderate - about the size of a large shoebox), and Mini/Micro/Tiny (Small! about the size of a small hardcover book).

If you are concerned about space you are much better off getting a MicroPC and a bracket to put it on your monitor than you are getting an all-in-one. This will be about a million percent easier to work on than an all-in-one and this way if your monitor dies your computer is still functional.

Small form factor towers and towers are the easiest to work on and upgrade; if you need a burly graphics card you need to get a full size tower, but for everything else a small form factor tower will be fine. Most of our business sales are SFF towers and MicroPCs, the only time we get something larger is if we have to put a $700 graphics card in it. SFF towers will accept small graphics cards and can handle upgrades to the power supply; MicroPCs can only have the RAM and SSD upgraded and don't have room for any other components or their own internal power supply.

WARRANTY

Most desktops come with either a 1 or 3 year warranty; either of these is fine and if you want to upgrade a 1 year to a 3 year that is also fine. I've generally found that if something is going to do a warranty failure on desktop it's going to do it the first year, so you don't get a hell of a lot of added mileage out of an extended warranty but it doesn't hurt and sometimes pays off to do a 3-year.

Laptops are a different story. Laptops mostly come with a 1-year warranty and what I recommend everyone does for every laptop that will allow it is to upgrade that to the longest warranty you can get with added drop/damage protection. The most common question our customers have about laptops is if we can replace a screen and the answer is usually "yes, but it's going to be expensive." If you're purchasing a low-end laptop, the parts and labor for replacing a screen can easily cost more than half the price of a new laptop. HOWEVER, the way that most screens get broken is by getting dropped. So if you have a warranty with drop protection, you just send that sucker back to the factory and they fix it for you.

So, if it is at all possible, check if the manufacturer of a laptop you're looking at has a warranty option with drop protection. Then, within 30 days (though ideally on the first day you get it) of owning your laptop, go to the manufacturer site, register your serial number, and upgrade the warranty. If you can't afford a 3-year upgrade at once set a reminder for yourself to annually renew. But get that drop protection, especially if you are a college student or if you've got kids.

And never, ever put pens or pencils on your laptop keyboard. I've seen people ruin thousand dollar, brand-new laptops that they can't afford to fix because they closed the screen on a ten cent pencil. Keep liquids away from them too.

LIFESPAN

There's a reasonable chance that any computer you buy today will still be able to turn on and run a program or two in ten years. That does not mean that it is "functional."

At my office we estimate that the functional lifespan of desktops is 5-7 years and the functional lifespan of laptops is 3-5 years. Laptops get more wear and tear than desktops and desktops are easier to upgrade to keep them running. At 5 years for desktops and 3 years for laptops you should look at upgrading the RAM in the device and possibly consider replacing the SSD with a new (possibly larger) model, because SSDs and HDDs don't last forever.

COST

This means that you should think of your computers as an annual investment rather than as a one-time purchase. It is more worthwhile to pay $700 for a laptop that will work well for five years than it is to pay $300 for a laptop that will be outdated and slow in one year (which is what will happen if you get an 8th gen i3 with 8GB RAM). If you are going to get a $300 laptop try to get specs as close as possible to the minimums I've laid out here.

If you have to compromise on these specs, the one that is least fixable is the processor. If you get a laptop with an i3 processor you aren't going to be able to upgrade it even if you can add more RAM or a bigger SSD. If you have to get lower specs in order to afford the device put your money into the processor and make sure that the computer has available slots for upgrade and that neither the RAM nor the SSD is soldered to the motherboard. (one easy way to check this is to search "[computer model] RAM upgrade" on youtube and see if anyone has made a video showing what the inside of the laptop looks like and how much effort it takes to replace parts)

Computers are expensive right now. This is frustrating, because historically consumer computer prices have been on a downward trend but since 2020 that trend has been all over the place. Desktop computers are quite expensive at the moment (August 2023) and decent laptops are extremely variably priced.

If you are looking for a decent, upgradeable laptop that will last you a few years, here are a couple of options that you can purchase in August 2023 that have good prices for their specs:

14" Lenovo - $670 - 11th-gen i5, 16GB RAM, and 512GB SSD

15.6" HP - $540 - 11th-gen i5, 16GB RAM, and 256GB SSD

14" Dell - $710 - 12th-gen i5, 16GB RAM, and 256GB SSD

If you are looking for a decent, affordable desktop that will last you a few years, here are a couple of options that you can purchase in August 2023 that have good prices for their specs:

SFF HP - $620 - 10th-gen i5, 16GB RAM, 1TB SSD

SFF Lenovo - $560 - Ryzen 7 5000 series, 16GB RAM, 512GB SSD

Dell Tower - $800 - 10th-gen i7, 16GB RAM, 512GB SSD

If I were going to buy any of these I'd probably get the HP laptop or the Dell Tower. The HP Laptop is actually a really good price for what it is.

Anyway happy computering.

☆「プロジェクトイーブイ」Project Eevee ☆