Allen, On The Verge Of Death Again: I’m Tired Of This Crowned Clown

can’t imagine how Allen’s conversation with the Bookman clan is going to go upon waking up. They’re pissed at him because they couldn’t find past!lavi’s body. Past!lavi didn’t leave a body because he basically absorbed it into past!allen’s.

Imagine having to explain that. How do possibly explain that.

modern (no powers) au where crowned clown is a tapeworm that Allen formed an emotional attachment to

Do I think these characters from tcf would say/follow through with this quote: “because I do believe in killing the messenger. do you know why? because it sends a message.”

cale: yes, I think he’d say it. Depending on who was injured and if the messenger was a part of the scheme, he would follow through (but not before torture).

alver: no

choi han: still no. he might kill the messenger, but I don’t think he’d do it to send a message

ron: he’s not saying because he’s a professional, but he’s absolutely doing it

lee soohyuk: … unsure. He’s introduced as a nice guy, but cale's scheming and ruthless plots came from somewhere.

choi jungsoo: no, it seems like he has a pretty solid moral compass. Then again, I haven’t caught with part 2, so…

mary: no

rosalyn: no

hannah: absolutely

the white star: obviously, yes

cage: no

taylor: no

clopeh (?): yes, he’s positively insane

roan: maybe? I don’t think he’d say it or do it to send a message, but if someone told him a member of his family was killed, he’d kill someone

on: no. maybe if she continues training as an assassin, but ron and vicross don’t seem to be encouraging that

hong: similar to on, but I’m more firmly on the side of no for him

Allen: The enemy of my enemy is my friend? No, the enemy of my enemy is also my enemy.

Allen: They are fighting over who gets to kill me, though. So it does give me time to escape.

at some point in while being buried for 100 years, xie lian must have prayed for jun wu to let him die, right? so I just can’t get this out of my head:

xie lian, buried alive, begging for death: I’m tired of this grandpa

jun wu, in heaven: that’s too damn bad! You keep digging!

reading dgm truly is An Experience (tm)

It's actually funny how humans decided "fuck living in caves with all these creepy crawlies", got out of caves, built houses that have all the nice parts of a cave without any of the yucky parts, and then all the little bugs and spiders and other creepy crawly creatures that used to also live in caves thought "sweet, new and improved caves" and moved right back in with us.

do I think these dgm characters would survive the wilderness (barring immortality lmao)

Allen: of course. I’m almost sure he’s had to do it before (cross *cough cough*)

Link: no? The streets sure, but the true wilderness? Probably not, unless the crows get that kind of training

Kanda: no. He’ll survive a fight, but he’s not going to be able to scavenge or he’ll eat something poisonous lmao. If the order had wilderness survival training, he probably did everything wrong on purpose

Lenalee: no. She’ll also survive a fight, but she doesn’t strike me as someone who was taught those skills. If anything, I think the order would have intentionally kept her vulnerable in that way to further prevent any running

Lavi: probably. The bookman clan has to have training for that.

Miranda: FUCK no lmao (I’m so sorry, my love)

Alistar: Nope

Timothy: no, sadly. Any education he was given on the subject went in one ear and out the other.

Cross: Yes.

Mother: Yes, she gives old woman who mysteriously survives everything vibes

Klaud: yes… even though she seems like a lady accustomed to finer things

Tiedoll: no… maybe? He seems like a prepared man.

Road: yes. She’s older than she looks, and I think she figured it out because she was bored.

Tyki: yeah, but not because of any actual skill. He survives as a comedy gag.

Sheryl: no, richboy

Apocryphos: unfortunately, yes.

the Earl/Adam: yes. That is one OLD motherfucker.

Mana (no, I’m not explaining): he’s either like Tyki or he absolutely thrives. You go looking for him, and you find him with a fully functional cabin and a garden. It’s been only two days. He didn’t make either, nor did he find them.

Neah: I feel like the answer is no.

everyone (but especially Cross and Mother) watching Allen Walker

Mana, holding some clown gear: And one day, I’ll pass these down to you!

Allen, enthusiastically: Just like your mental illness?

Mana, equally enthusiastic: Yep, just like my mental illness!