Too True, But I Still Think He's Padme's Son And Leia Is Anakin's Daughter. She's More Like Him, Despite

Books I'm working on/completed:

Operation Blackout (2018)

Special Agent Morgan Connor's job is simple: track down humans with supernatural abilities and assess their threat level. When he looks into the Starr family, he stumbles upon more than he was expecting- sibling Others. The youngest, Cassie, is taken into protective custody while the elder, Orion, is forced to become the Bureau's newest asset. But the government isn't the only one interested in the siblings. Connor and Orion must contend with a group of renegade Others and the mysterious Mr. Lionhart while trying to uncover why both are so interested in the Starr family.

Whisper Glen (Forthcoming - Querying)

Aimless Rachel Brooks always wanted to have an exciting adventure like the heroes of her favorite books, but living in 1998 rural West Virginia limited her prospects to mere daydreams. Until the ghost of her Nana tells her about the town's population of magical creatures and Rachel finds her little world completely upended. Rachel begins studying under Nana to learn her responsibilities, but things quickly become complicated. Whisper Glen has been without a guardian since Nana's death and several Legends have taken advantage of her absence. Nana also hasn't been completely honest about the Guardians' history. Will Rachel master her new role or will things spiral out of her control?

The Melograno (2026)

When Amaryllis Volans and Rafferty Dodgeson wake from cryogenic slumber, they have no memories and no idea how they got on board the abandoned luxury liner Melograno. Unsettling visions of the crew and passengers plague the pair as they try to retrace their steps and signal for rescue. But the first ship to dock with them isn't there to help- pirates have laid claim to the floundering ship. Amaryllis and Dodgeson must work together to find a way to escape before they're killed or enslaved.

Operation Blackout: Lies and Convictions (Forthcoming)

After explosive Waterfront Incident six months ago resulted in euthanasia for all captured Others in the interest of public safety, Morgan Connor decided to work from within BSI to keep harmless Others safe. But his personal mission becomes complicated when he is partnered with old acquaintance John Reeves. And Reeves has a secret mission of his own: he's been tasked with determining if Connor should also be "euthanized". As the lies keep piling up, Connor is unexpectedly reunited with Orion Starr. Can Connor keep Orion's presence secret or will his lies be exposed?

I've begun singing lately as a way to try to rediscover joy (and learn how to unmask). Unfortunately, my shiba inu tends to be the target of such serenades. She often slowly backs away and hides, all the while looking at me with the same expression I'd expect on a peasant mother who's just discovered that her child is possessed.

Putting on shows for this unwilling audience has become the highlight of my day.

I've tried not to internalize these formulas, but I find that it's simply too exhausting to try to market my work afterward. Perhaps I should just self-publish and be happy if someone stumbles across my work and buys it.

I write because I like writing. Because I think these stories should be told. These characters are real people to me.

But is it wrong to want to make a living from your work?

When Did Books Become So... Formulaic? Part 1

When did books start feeling like they had to follow a set formula to be considered “good”? When did writing become less about creative expression and more about ticking off boxes—engaging opening, structured setting, the “right” pacing? Everywhere you turn, someone is telling you how to write a book, how to make it “marketable,” how to fit it into a mold that guarantees an audience. And I get it. I’ve internalized it too.

But what even is writing? Shouldn’t it be art? Shouldn’t it be free? Shouldn’t a book be a canvas where words don’t have to march neatly in line but can sprawl, dance, or drip like paint? Who says the text has to be left-aligned? What if a story unfolded in a spiral, or if every chapter was a shape, a rhythm, a feeling? What if the structure itself was part of the message, not just a vessel to deliver a pre-approved plot?

And the thing is—people are doing this. There are writers experimenting, bending form, breaking rules, making books that are more than just books. But where are they? Why aren’t they the ones being given the biggest platforms? Why do the same kinds of books, the same kinds of authors, the same familiar beats keep getting pushed forward while boundary-pushing works are dismissed as “niche” or “too risky”?

Traditional publishing doesn’t seem to make space for them. If they want to be seen, they have to carve their own path, fund themselves, market themselves, do everything alone. And that can be exhausting. It can drain the passion out of something that was once pure expression. It can force people to conform just to survive.

So I guess my question is—why? Why do we act like writing is a machine instead of an art form? Why do we reward the safe and familiar while sidelining the bold and visionary? And what would books look like if we truly let them be free?

Let's discuss this...

I've been thinking about this and I got a lot of rambling posts on this topic.

Cuz it hit me like powe

This sounds like a great twist on the genre!

Imagine how much scarier zombie movies would be if the zombies smiled when they saw you because they were excited to finally eat. Imagine walking into a building to go and find shelter, scavenge, whatever, and you shine your flashlight into a room only to find several zombies idling there. Your light catches their eyes and they turn to look at you, their expressions desolate and empty. However, the moment they spot you, their open mouths turn to wide uncontrollable smiles and their eyes disappear into slits. They almost look friendly. Maybe even some of them manage to laugh instead of groan. How would you feel after months and months of losing people you know to smiling hoards? How would you feel after every encounter with a joyful zombie leaves you shaken and tired and fearful? How would you feel after hearing the sounds of laughter mixed in with the sounds of screaming and flesh being torn? After everything, what would your brain's wiring process do to you when you see a friend smile? Would you hate smiling? Would you feel rage? Would your brain devolve back into a time where showing one's teeth always meant a threat? What would you do if the joy of the human race was now only kept by the dead

I've been kicking an idea around in my head for ages and I keep running into roadblocks, so I hope that if I write stuff down it'll organize my thoughts. Or at least prevent me from losing them in a plethora of handwritten notes scattered around.

I love the relationships and characters in SW, but I've always thought that they were problematic. Plus, the dynamics and backgrounds didn't really fit the narrative I'd built up in my head prior to the prequels.

Since I don't really do fanfic (really bad experience in the late 90s), I thought I could fix it with by tweaking the characters and placing them in an OC setting.

Padme - Love this girl, but they really wasted her potential. First I'd get rid of her election and make her born royalty or a position of power. She's clearly trained for it from birth. I got the impression that she and her peers voluntarily pursued politics and I can't imagine the average kid being interested in administration or law from a young age. It just seems like an odd hyperfixation to have so many involved. She's also clearly a warrior and diplomacy is her weapon. I'd like to lean into the diplomatic Jedi archetype that the EU made for Leia, although Padme definitely isn't above getting her hands dirty and throwing a chair at someone when her words stop working.

I'd probably place her in a love triangle/throuple situation because I always thought that Obi-Wan suited her more. The romance in the prequels between her and Anakin seemed like it only happened because it had to happen rather than real chemistry, so I'd also try to do justice to their relationship.

Finally, Padme would disappear before anyone knew she was pregnant to protect the twins from their falling father. Darth Vader seemed genuinely surprised that he had a son, not that he was alive.

Anakin - The majority of my issues with Anakin is his behavior during his courtship of Padme. He was a walking red flag and while I know people ignore those all the time, he didn't come across as someone likeable...which he did in every other scene where he was allowed to be a Jedi warrior. His banter with Obi-Wan hinted at a deep friendship and his frustrations with the Jedi order/Council made sense even if they weren't articulated well. I think mostly I'd have to simply fix the execution of his flaws and insecurities.

I'd also close the age gap between him and the other two. Aside from the creepiness factor in his romance with Padme, the age discrepancy between Obi-wan and Anakin as apprentices/knights is kinda weird. Obi-Wan was supposed to be 25 in Phantom Menace. I get that he's going to be a mentor/old man later on in the series, but that seems really old to still be a padawan.

Obi-Wan - Nothing. You're perfect, baby. <3

(Except for the age thing.)

Sometimes I look at my writing journey and it looks like I've gone nowhere. I have no audience. I don't know what I'm doing. I have terrible ideas. Worse yet, sometimes it feels like I've gone backward because I read less than I used to when I first started.

Then there are other times that I realize how far I've come. I realized that I'm a plotter, not a pantser, and that's helped me prevent problems before they occur. I don't try to make my first (and only) draft perfect; I realize that I need to get my ideas on paper before I can develop and hone them. I evaluate if a scene needs to be written or if the story needs to change instead of clinging to what I'd originally planned.

For about five years, I didn't write anything, and then when I returned to writing, I only wrote characters in roleplay. Neither helped me improve my writing. (If anything, RP stunted it, even if it did help me develop skills to create realistic characters.)

Now I have so many ideas floating around and very little time. It feels like I'm trying to make up for those lost years, and I'm hoping to start a MFA in Creative Writing.

I guess what I'm trying to say is keep writing. You never know when your self-doubt will pass.

I failed a CAPTCHA several times while trying to create a new Steam account. I now have to question my existence.

Sometimes, you just have to sit down and make yourself write!

But not yet, though.

Every time I have an idea for a fic, I overthink it and talk myself out of it. I don't know the characters well enough. This doesn't fit the setting/canon. Which is why in all the years I've been writing, I only ever wrote one Pokémon fanfic when I was like 14 and a fictionalization of a Slayers RPG I ran. OCs are easier because I make the canon!

I miss RPing. I had so many OCs and now I keep trying to slot them into other things to keep writing about them. Thankfully I did more than just hair and eye color (and using random pics for their "portraits"), but it's hard taking them out of the original setting, even if I know how they'd react to a given situation.

OC RANT!

In my earlier years, we’re talking about 2012/2013 years era, of RPING (RolePlaying) , writing, and making INSANE AMOUNTS OF OCS (I gave up trying to downsize), it seems that all I did was hair color, eye color, and outfits.