Scribe To Those Assembled: SEd EGO QUi SCrIpsI HANc HiSTORIAm AUt UERiuS FabUlAM QuIbUsdam FIDEM IN Hac

If anyone wants to know how the final months of my phd are going, I spent five hours yesterday evening listening to Dies Irae on repeat while translating and cross-comparing nineteenth century translations of early modern Irish texts just to adjust A SINGLE SENTENCE in my thesis.

The average ulster cycle war: Medb wants a cow. Stop her getting a cow.

Compared to

The average fenian cycle war: A descendant of Balor from Scandinavia has invaded Ireland and placed a Gaes on Fionn to sleep with his wife. Meanwhile, Clan morna is mad at Clan Bascne over some meat, and the high king hates the power the fianna holds but also needs them to shoo off the foreign invaders. The only solution for all of these problems is to go on an island hopping adventure where various Tuatha de will join the fianna, and Mananaan will go on a boat. The Battle of Magh Tuireadh will, for some reason, be recounted, and the fianna will have to stay in a hostel where they will be ambushed. Several magical monsters. To kill the random Scandinavian king, fionn will have to get a sword forged by the classical god vulcan and / or the King of Alba and / or on the day of the birth of the guy they are going to kill this will require about 20 more adventures. However, this won't matter anyway because Diarmuid, Goll, or Osgar will kill the guy in single combat without these weapons anyway. Fionn will never actually sleep with the king's wife, but they will marry.

Achilles

I

To them I am the brute not the lover

The raging king’s hound, his gold spear – death’s kiss

Was this the way, was there no other?

II

History, prayèrs did try to cover –

Those violent delights, and that violent bliss

- To them I am the brute not the lover.

III

Yet, if time would but only uncover

Those extra curves of your smiles that they miss – I miss.

Was this the way – was there no other?

IV

If the Prince of Troy did not hover over

My mind and your ghost – in debt to the Styx –

To them I am the brute not the lover!

V

They forget romeo, the pre-mover;

Was it for this you died, was it for this?

Alas, I am the brute. Not your lover.

Was this the way? Was there no other?

"Achilles" by Sadbh Kellett. First published in The Attic XX, 2017.

Possibly revolutionary take:

I don’t think that not looking through the source material is something people should be bragging about when they write fanfiction about said material. 

Sure, I totally get it if you can’t get access to the source for any number of reasons. But bragging about it? Dude, you’re just admitting your entire fanfic is based on fanon and fanon is a pale imitation of the original. 

If it’s anything like the original at all…

Plato’s cave all over, everyone. Congrats. 

A very happy publication day to my fellow Disco writer, the wonderful Emma van Straaten! This Immaculate Body is available now in a bookstore near you.

Don't tell Twitter, but this week I graduated from St. Andrews and am now officially a Doctor of Philosophy! My thesis looked at Gaelic mythology and its relationship with national identity in modern Irish and Scottish literature (including Irish language texts). Humanities ftw!

Comhghairdeas mór to my superhero of a supervisor Pàdraig MacAoidh (Peter Mackay) who was also appointed as the Makar of Scotland this week! So very deserved.

New poem in Tower Vol I: End out May 15th!

Lá fhéile Bríde shona daoibh!