Richie Jerimovich Masterlist

in which Alec Utgoff (Alexei) is all of us.

Jon Bernthal as Braxton THE ACCOUNTANT 2 (2025)

HAI LEA!! congrats on 10k - huge and well-deserved 🫶 i am here to blabber abt "I just want you a little longer all to myself" because girl- i was that anon that messaged u about how i couldn't stop rereading that blurb when u put it out. i want that kind of secret office relationship with matt so so so bad @—@ also what's your favorite thing(s) you've written for mm please :p

*DRAMATIC GASP* BRO THAT WAS YOU??? 😮

well, i love all of my stories. if i don't love what i write, then i just don't write it, change it till it hits my feels the way it should, simple as that. if there are any that i'm not that crazy about, then it's just some of the early stuff when my writing skill wasn't what it is today. it's still good, it's still fun, but i could do it better today, you know?

if i had to highlight a few, these would be them:

i adore the series buttercup. i wrote it while procrastinating the kinda intimidating thing i'm writing currently and i only gave myself one week to do it, but i didn't expect to fall so in love with them as i did. i don't wanna promise anything, but i do think that when the new series comes out, and i watch it, that i'll write another wave of chapters for that story. i have a ton of ideas written down for what should happen next, i mean, they're still just in the very beginning of their relationship, so there's so much more ground to cover. yeeaaahhh, i still think about that story way too much, like it's borderline a problem because i don't at all have time to continue it rn.

breakfast in bed!! DOMESTIC👏NASTY👏MORNING👏BONE-TOWN👏LEADING TO MATT BEING LATE TO COURT👏

i too love I just want you a little longer all to myself. matt in the office just hits different...

speaking of matt in the office, dizzy is way too cute for me to handle.

「 come join my 10k celebration 」

giffed the sydrichie hug again, this time in HQ <3

ill be sappy whenever i want. i dont give a shit. i love you. fuck off

richie should have hand tattoos i'm so sorry to say it

Joel Miller x reader blurb: Joel is a sweetly nervous wreck on your first date

Guys? This? This----

That's 100% tipsy DILF Joel Miller going on his first proper date in a long while and he's super nervous and wants to make a good impression and so he arrives early and pounds merlot before his date gets there. Bullet point head canon fluff below. Thanks to @ozarkthedog for encouraging my nonsense. 😘

Word count: 550ish

Pairing: DILF disaster dater Joel Miller x f!reader

Unedited, unbeta'd etc. No warnings used, nothing beyond sweet disaster dater Joel Miller really.

Putting it out into the world unformed so we can all have a lil' indulgent daydream.

He's trying' to get back in the dating game

(like yeah he gets laid but DATING is scary)

Sarah is off to college and before she does (he's fucking mortified but appreciative) she helps him set up dating apps

and he's mostly horrified at having to interact with strangers lmao

and how some women are just straight in with sexting and he's a bit skittish and been a bit single for that

(with a stranger at least. Joel is slut when it's intimate)

but he's talking to a nice lady (that's you, babe!) and she’s funny and nice and seems real

So they arrange a 'big' 'proper' first date

and Joel wants to make a good impression

He picks a nice restaurant where Joel’s gonna have to wear a suit jacket

and he's sooo nervous

and Reader is too

But Joel doesn’t clock it, all he sees when you walk in is a vision in a beautiful, enticing dress perfectly suited to the venue, while he feels like a cater-waiter in his button down and sport coat

Meanwhile he turned up nearly 20 minutes early

and now he's flushed from downing nearly 2 glasses of wine in quick succession

and you both order dinner and there are some awkward starts and stops to conversation. But you're both kind and want the date to succeed, so you both take turns fumbling to fill the few awkward silences

He picks wine instead of anything harder because he wants to be present

He's trying to be a GENTLEMAN

he REALLY likes you

dinner is delicious and the waiter brings the dessert menu. And nothing on it even looks nice, even though you have a massive sweet tooth, and certainly don't want the night with Joel to end

"This all looks a bit fancy and not very sweet," you suggest putting the menu down. 

So you say"shall we get the bill?" 

Joel's heart drops cuz he doesn't want the night to end, but you clearly do and how did he fuck up so bad, of course you were just seeing the date through to the end cuz you’re nice and polite and—

Then you carry on "Do you want to go get gelato? There's a really good place around the corner."

and then his heart soars when you suggest gelato

Like Ozzie said, he’s like a “teenage girl totally lovestruck”

Joel flags down the waiter so fast and there’s a tussle for the check, and he only agrees to split the check when you acquiesce  to let him buy you gelato. 

You stroll down the street and the summer night is warm and the dark envelops you. You and Joel get your gelatos and sit down on a park bench, chatting merrily away, the awkwardness of the night forgotten as conversation flows. 

Joel pointed out you had some ice cream on your face and when you kept missing it with swipes of your napkin, he licks his thumb, swipes it at the corner of your mouth, and popped the digit between his own lips. 

It was only when you gawped at him that he realized what he’d done without thinking, and took his thumb out from between his plump lips. 

“God, I’m so sorry, that was---” You shut him up by lunging at him and licking the taste of your ice cream out of his mouth. 

++the end++ 

I love one (1) man, and it's nervous DILF Joel Miller:

maybe this time picking at Textures on my skin will lead to being silky smooth