I Was Editing My Draft As I Did Stuff But Posted It Earlier (b4 I Was Done) And Didn't Even Notice -_-

"What if you mess up? What if you realize you’ve already forgotten the materials you start studying?What if you initially focus but feel like a sedated zombie after a while?"

Can't you change these questions in your mind to - What if you can actually focus well for a long time? What if you do good enough to at least feel relieved? What if you can feel some sense of control over your life? What if you didn’t forget as much as you thought? What if you're way more competent than you thought? What if consistent hard work actually brings what your childhood self had desired instead of disappointments and exhaustion? What if it solves your lack of appetite and anxiety and thought spirals?

What if you asked the second set of questions more often? You already subconsciously know it would've lessened your stress a lot. Can you please stop thinking of self-hatred and pessimism as inseparable parts of your identity?

You're throwing yourself on the verge of extreme uncertainties. Do you deserve this much indifference? Ik you're afraid. But there isn’t any way to eliminate the fears without working on things while being afraid at first.

And even if you're lagging way too behind, you can manage to improve better than you're expecting at present. Trust this for at least a little time and trust everyone who trusted you.

27.04.2025 (sun)

Day (18/30)

Ypt hrs ≈ 2:10 hrs

Ecology lec 1 + studied it

Math hw

Kinda read through phy notes for tmrw ??

Today was a pretty meh day study-wise. Went out on a scooter ride with my cousin and it was so much fun—took a bunch of pics too. Later, when I tried to sit down and study Physics, I could feel an incoming mental breakdown, so I called it quits. Probably not the best idea, but I was seriously exhausted at that point.

I’m pretty unprepared for my Physics test and there are so many tests piling up—it’s getting overwhelming. Planning to mentally map out this week until I calm down a bit.

Toodles ~~

(⁠ ⁠˘⁠ ⁠³⁠˘⁠)💗

07.03.2025

Didn’t post yesterday because I literally did nothing. Skipped school, joined the live class 15 minutes late because I randomly decided to shower last minute (and ofc, I don’t shower fast—especially when it's hair wash day !!!). Spent the entire class daydreaming instead of actually functioning, and now my to do list is staring at me like a disappointed parent. Ugh.

Anyways, shit happens. But also, I am so stressed about my backlogs. I feel like I’m drowning in stuff I have to do, I'm doing and will have to do— I have no idea how I’m supposed to do all this. Like, where is the pause button?? Also, I joined a Ramadan challenge group and haven’t updated in days—it’s barely been a week and I’m already flopping. I hate myself for it.

Weekend to do list:

• clean room

• Complete Saturday’s notes + HW before they consume me

• Study for the bio test on Sunday (our teacher tests us on stuff we learned the previous week—I love her, but also, why)

• Rewatch yesterday’s lecture and actually process it this time

• Study all three bio lectures because apparently, I enjoy suffering (I did this to myself really)

• Iftar party later today, which means I’ll definitely miss live lectures and will have to listen to them tomorrow (future me is already panicking)

-----------------------------------------

• Try to actually update in the Ramadan challenge group before I disappear completely

I am so behind, and I have no idea how I’m going to survive this, but we move.

I guess I really need to make a permanent comeback this time. Because the stone in the chest is growing heavier and heavier and I don’t think I would be able to tolerate it. I need to persist to survive.

Just a reminder that someone with the exact same goal as you is working harder than you.

- Tam Kaur

good to see that ur doing well with the productivity challenge :) kind of a bummer that plans with ur family meant u couldn't revise, but I hope u enjoyed them atleast 🫶🫶

I’m honestly past being used to this by now, but yeah, it’s still pretty annoying lol.

That being said, I did have an amazing time!! Took loads of pics and actually wasn’t cooped up and rotting in my room for once =D

Also, your blog >>>> (AHHH)

Hope you and your family are happy and healthyyy <33 (why am i literally quoting olivia rodrigo without meaning to— help me)

one of the biggest things I can advocate for (in academia, but also just in life) is to build credibility with yourself. It’s easy to fall into the habit of thinking of yourself as someone who does things last minute or who struggles to start tasks. people will tell you that you just need to build different habits, but I know for me at least the idea of ‘habit’ is sort of abstract and dehumanizing. Credibility is more like ‘I’ve done this before, so I know I can do it, and more importantly I trust myself to do it’. you set an assignment goal for the day and you meet it, and then you feel stronger setting one the next day. You establish a relationship with yourself that’s built on confidence and trust. That in turn starts to erode the barrier of insecurity and perfectionism and makes it easier to start and finish tasks. reframing the narrative as a process of building credibility makes it easier to celebrate each step and recognize how strong your relationship with yourself can become

FINALLY started a personal blog @midnightatthemalfoys

from now on this will be strictly a study blog <33

lets work hard !!!

15.03.2025

Didn't do much today— just attended my live class on which I have yet to make notes on. Will probably do stuff for school if I have any left b4 I head to bed . Just so tired lol :(

Anyways,

MWAAA

(⁠ ⁠˘⁠ ⁠³⁠˘⁠)💗

Hey

Your blog is really pretty!

And i'm also a 12th grader preparing for the NEET exam

I'm trying to find people like myself so that I stay motivated to study lol

Moots?

HIIIIIII <33

Tysm 🥹🫶🏼 and its a pleasure to meet you !! *curtsies*

Yes yes and yes !! Lets keep each other motivated lol ^^