I Like This :]

Tragic news everyone, I have decided to remove the Sloop from my fic to focus almost entirely on the angst. Very shocking I know, but don’t worry. I’ll make a dedicated sloop fic at some point, I prommy.

At the gate for my flight home from visiting friends and there's a woman here with a service Shiba Inu. No pics because he has a Do Not Disturb vest and taking pics of strangers is illegal but I need to stress how ON DUTY this animal is. Ears up. Eyes doing Lazer scans of everything. Examining everyone who passes within 10ft like a security guard. Ass planted on her feet. I have never seen a dog with such intense chivalric guardian energy before. He has tiny eyebrows and they are FURROWED with concentration.

Can’t stop seeing that ad with the weird lady and her sword. Why is it everywhere? Does it’s continued appearance mean my day of reckoning has finally arrived? Help?

It’s so funny how when I’m writing something graphic I’m like “oh man I hope I’m not going too far here. Is murder on the table??? Oh jeez.” and then minutes later I look at some fanart with 1 bajillion notes that’s literally 10x worse than what I had planned (in a good way)

Keep putting characters in awful situations y’all. Makes me feel better about putting them in awful situations myself :]

tiso

the

and because it's a cute nickname! you're my little stardust!

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ITS DONE!

KABOOM! CHAPTER 12! FINALLY!!!!

Hell yeah! Happy rat!

your dash has been blessed by HAPPY RAT! you will now have a HAPPY DAY!!!

I wonder what plain cinnamon tastes like. Like a spoonful pure cinnamon with no drink. Probably tasty

"Isabeau isn't that interesting of a character compared to the others" is a take I have regrettably seen. I have never believed it for a moment but I realized I had way more immediate thoughts on the other cast members, so I went to fix that. And ohhh, Isabeau.

Siffrin's "not the only one acting in this play," but Isabeau's act of sorts is compelling to me because of how deeply intentional it is, even before the loops. He agrees with the craftology book's description of Protector Craft users being patient, loyal, and "very gullible" with a smile. He's upset that he didn't know what colors were, but when Odile tells him, "We don't usually count on you to know things," he corrects himself after a short pause with an "Oh yeah! That's true!!!"

His relationship with Odile makes me ill because her more straightforward, joking remarks unknowingly hit right where it hurts. I think of the SASASAP art book's relationship chart - "I wanna impress [Odile]! Old me would have..." as if the current version of him would never be able to. But he can! He does, in different loops! The two of them are the ones that synthesize the information on Wish Craft, and Odile compliments his questions about the King in the candle room ("Good questions, Isabeau. You have pretty smart insights sometimes").

Isabeau and Siffrin are the two that always ask Odile what her research is about, and she goes along with it because it's easier than explaining. Both Isa and Odile unknowingly reinforce those boxes, because those boxes and labels are easier to live in instead of telling the truth. And in Isa's case, it's not that faking it 'til you make it is bad or wrong, but it becomes a cover-up for the problems he can only heal by confronting them.

I think of the bathroom conversation between Isabeau and Mirabelle, how when she asks if he's doing okay, he tries to call himself simple, saying he "[doesn't] have a big enough brain to worry about things." How it's such a painfully obvious lie. How he's the one to always worry about others and whether they're alright, but he can't accept the same for himself. (Like a certain someone else.)

There's a lot to glean from comparing Isa's anxieties and conflict avoidance with both Mirabelle and Odile. Odile is caring, but also pragmatic, confronting the problem even if she isn't the best at it. Isa knows something's wrong, but isn't ready to ask. Their bathroom talk during Susquest highlights their dichotomy.

And although Mirabelle admits she's "no good at being confrontational," she's the one to ask Siffrin what's wrong in SASASAP's True End route. Isa was going to, but he spends so much time trying to "build up to it," trying to plan out how to word it correctly, that he's too late to the punch.

(thank you isat script project! 🤍)

Isabeau has been working on it, for sure, but his fears hold him back constantly. He's the type that wants to both reassure others and to be reassured. To make sure he's not messing up his relationships, to make sure that existing the way he is is okay. He's become louder, more boisterous, someone who loves hugs, because those are qualities he values, but to an extent where his older traits - shyness, but also his intelligence and nerdiness - feel incompatible in his mind. He starts to see those qualities as bad because of how he struggled to love himself (and still does). His Change is good for him, but the way he tries to mold his personality is forced, even inauthentic, as he tries to run away from himself.

It's compelling in the context of ISAT's rejection of stereotypes and the typical found family structure, too. Odile's the "smart one," so he can't outshine that, Siffrin's the "funnyjokespun person," so that can't be his only trait, even if he's the big strong man (and he instead contrasts this by acting gullible and foolish - I wonder if he exaggerates it around the party at all, consciously or not?) Bonnie's the kid to take care of (which can lead Isa's words to sounding "patronizing"), and Mira's the leader, the kind, loving Chosen One who brought everyone together (not that he'd want to take center stage to begin with). And it's also interesting to examine from a gender role lens (a few people have done so. ouuuch!).

This doesn't even begin to talk about how similar he is to Siffrin, how closed off they both are in different ways, how they want to be loved so badly but can't express it, the way they suppress their emotions (thinking about these two posts. i'm normal!). That could be its own separate infinity word post by this point.

But it's so lovely how Siffrin's actions in the end - how they take Isabeau's hand, how they reassure him ("We wouldn't like you any less if you were smart, you know"), are ones that help Isabeau confront his fears just a little bit more. It's like he says: "Changing takes time, you know!!!"

And fortunately, he has people who will be there for him every step of the way, even if they physically go their separate ways.