Whichever Copotype You Get The First Time You Play Disco Elysium Should Be Some Sort Of Diagnostic Criteria.

I signed up for an ao3 invite to incentivize myself to not be afraid in continuing my fanfic-writing journey. Maybe some of my writing will see the light of day after all, or maybe I'll just post snippets on here. I'm mostly writing for myself but it would be really cool if someone else read it but I'm also terrified of that. I've convinced myself that every other person on the planet is a better writer than me and I will be pelted with tomatoes if I ever post my own work. Currently trying to un-convince myself of that.

BG3 Companions and their Knights Radiant Orders, according to me

Every time I consume a piece of media I must sort the characters into their Orders. I could be convinced either way on Minsc and Lae'zel in this case, but the others are solid.

Bats! This is a very self indulgent post for me and it’s an excuse to draw bats lol. Close ups and some facts below 👇

So some of these are based on vibes but there are some interesting reasons I chose some of these.

So Cazador is actually based on an extinct species of bat which is basically a massive vampire bat which are about 30% larger than a common vampire bat

Astarion is of course a common vampire bat . I couldn’t find much info on the existence of albino ones but I based him off the few images I could find

To add, Dalyria is from a species that has wings that appear pinkish due to lack of pigment, which is my personal theory for why she has that pink tone in her skin, she’s really pale

Leon being a fruit bad just made sense in my head (Maybe baby bat Victoria is under his wings lol)

Petras being a Pallid bat made sense because of course Pallid=Pale=Pale Petras

I love the idea of Aurelia being a little brown bat because I feel like I HC her as having a more diminutive and reserved personality and I feel that goes with little brown bats

Yousen is a species of Microbat which of course are some of the smaller bats in the world

I feel like Violet would be very proud of her long ears

It's scary to be transgender in the world right now but if you're transgender I love you and we have to stick together and keep fighting and keep living and keep loving

okay wait I saw a comment on the patch 8 animation pointing out the knockoff Sleep Token poster in Astarion's room WHAT

people say it's a nod to all the Sleep Token edits he gets

To be fair, you have to have an extremely high level of mental illness to understand Disco Elysium

Current mood:

Yes, that's poor Gale who fell into the lava and is melting.

[From the game's datamined dialogues]

Astarion says those lines when he helps your fallen character in battle (romanced and/or friend depending on the lines).

He may be half-joking here, or maybe not at all, but in any case, I find it interesting that he already calls himself a hero and saviour (even ironically) when he helps you. And it made me think a lot. (And maybe I'm overthinking all this but eh... the brain-rot is real).

Because, beyond the possible irony of those "hero/saviour” labels, it says something about the image he has of himself while your adventures unfolds.

During the Tieflings' party, he's quite loud about not enjoying being a hero. He wasn't particularly fond of the idea of saving the Grove in the first place anyway.

Same with the Gnomes in the forge, saving them isn't his priority, to say the least.

After all, why would he play the hero when no one, in 200 years, has ever even tried to save him. Neither heroes, nor gods.

So I was thinking about how Astarion came to realise that not only you care about him, but that he too cares enough about you to want to help/save you.

Does you adventures together slowly make him understand that he can save you, as much as you can save him?

After all, quite early in Act 1, you can tell him that you agree to watch each other's back.

And he approves.

I want to believe that this "deal" is the first step toward his acknowledgement: he can protect and get some protection. It starts as a kind of transaction, but gradually, it's not about mutual benefice anymore. After a while, he wants to help/protect, as much as you want to help/protect him, as friend or a lover.

And of course, it paves the way to the epilogue (spawn Astarion, not romanced). 

And it's beautiful.

He made it all the way from resenting heroes for not saving him, to becoming a hero himself - the kind of hero he decides to be.

And I am wondering... the fact that he can protect you, did it affect his own self-esteem? making him realise his own worth? As a fighter, but also as friend or a lover, as someone one can rely on...

Did it make him realise that he too can become his own hero, his own saviour?

That without Cazador's power over his body, he has everything in him to save himself?

Astarion and Learned Cruelty

Spoilers for all of Astarion’s story through all acts of BG3. As always, this is all just my interpretation of the character. Feel free to disagree. 

I love the writing choice to make Astarion genuinely immoral at first. They could have easily pulled the overdone trope of "I only pretend to be evil because I'm traumatized. I'm really just a sad little guy who wouldn’t hurt anyone". Now I do believe his behavior is a direct result of his trauma, but I'll get to that in a minute. The point is that he does genuinely relish in violence, although his actions will be swayed by whichever moral direction the player decides to go. But he does enjoy combat, spilling blood, and even some more cruel and unusual things. However, what makes this so compelling and narratively rich is that this is a learned mindset.

I think that a lot of people don't acknowledge that going into act 1, Astarion has just come out of a situation where he was quite literally forced to participate in horrific crimes, with severe consequences if he refused. That absolutely does not excuse the fact that he's okay with if not outright enthusiastic about murder, but we do see that he was not always this way (e.g., he tried at least once to let a target go because he couldn't bring himself to take them to Cazador). I just think it's worth acknowledging that that mindset was the product of centuries of torment and active overt and covert conditioning. He became who Cazador wanted him to be; who he had to be in order to survive. Astarion and Karlach are two sides of a coin in this regard, in that they represent opposite responses to trauma and loss of autonomy. Karlach was forced into martial servitude, which in my opinion explains why she's still kind of bloodthirsty even though she's such a good and kind person bent on protecting others. She's shaped by the role she was forced into, and it's the same with Astarion. Again, not to say he isn't morally dubious, but there's a big difference between someone evil and someone who was never allowed to be "good" suddenly being thrust back into freedom and forced to figure things out.

To a degree, I do also think that his over-the-top declarations of his love for violence are another piece of his mask. Just like with his feigned hedonism and sexual forwardness, he's trying to hold power over people by controlling their perception of him (as well as his own self-perception). He's holding a big sign that says "I'm selfish and evil, and you shouldn't like me unless you are too", when really he's not anywhere near as selfish and evil as he pretends to be. He does this in part to keep people at arm's length, but also to convince himself; to craft his own reality wherein he is the person he needs to be to get through this situation. His worldview has been warped to see domination and control as synonymous with strength, and so he's being strong in the way he knows how. As the story progresses with a good player on his side, he's beginning to learn how to be something better. And that's why it takes time: because he's unlearning 200 years of conditioning and survival instincts.

It's worth talking about that it's not unheard of for abusers to force victims to participate in the abuse of others. I think that representing that experience in this game is important and valuable. We should all walk the line between holding these kinds of survivors accountable for what is appropriate, and to offer them oceans of understanding and empathy for them over what they were forced into. Even if Astarion weren't magically forced to do Cazador's bidding, I hope that we all could still understand the power that abusers hold over their victims, empathize with him, and see that those actions were an extension of Cazador, not himself.

Official D&D definitions of "evil" aside, I don't think he's ever truly evil unless he goes down the evil route with the player and/or ascends (Ascended Astarion is a whole other can of worms I’m not going to get into in this post). By the end of the spawn storyline, Astarion does have a lot more concern and care for others, and most importantly, he takes responsibility. To me, that shows profound strength and goodness. He's never a saint, but in my opinion he's never really evil, either. He's still learning how to live in a world where he doesn't need to be cruel in order to survive. 

Concerning the early access backstory about him being a "corrupt magistrate", it's up to the individual how to headcanon that information. Personally, I think he was probably a little self-interested, but not evil by any means. I think he was probably just a pretty normal person before Cazador, not predisposed to cruelty.

In summary, I think it’s important to talk about what makes people “bad”, especially in the context of the cycle of abuse and victimization. In Astarion’s case, much of his taste for cruelty came from implicit conditioning over his years of being forced to hurt others. There are a number of lines from him during the dungeon/crypt sequence where he keeps insisting, defensively and desperately, that he didn’t have a choice in bringing victims back to Cazador. That it was all on his orders and he couldn’t say no. This might come across to some as him trying to shirk blame, but the thing is… he’s right. He didn't have a choice, other than death, but I think Cazador would deny him even that. He wanted to make his spawn into obedient tools, but also to break them. To make them an extension of his own monstrous cruelty. But in the end, Astarion takes responsibility as best he can, and begins to forgive himself for being a part of Cazador’s evil. This is part of what makes the line “I am so much more than what you made me” so powerful.

When the player first meets Wyll you can ask him about his stone eye and he'll reply: "It's made from pure Bloodstone, carved from the Galena Mountains just north of the Moonsea. A reminder that sometimes, blood must be shed and sacrifices must be made."

And I, knowing nothing about Wyll at the time, took one look at his eye and went: "No, the fuck it ain't!"

See, if you know anything about bloodstone, you know that it's called that because it looks like it has drops of blood trapped in it:

[Heliotrope (aka Bloodstone) from Wikipedia]

The plain light grey stone of Wyll's eye is clearly not bloodstone, even at a glance. So, why would Wyll call it bloodstone?

While I don't think Wyll is above lying, and he tells a good story, it's an odd lie to tell in the first place. Any lie that can be dismantled by somewhat common knowledge is a poor lie. (Or maybe I'm the weird one for immediately clocking that it wasn't bloodstone.)

What if it wasn't a lie?

We know that Wyll's eye is a sending stone and Mizora uses it to track Wyll and to give him orders. In EA Mizora could even use the stone to spy on Wyll, though there's no evidence of that in the full release.

As per DnD 5e, there aren't any rules about what type of stone has to be used to create sending stones, only that they are created in pairs and are carved identically in order to help identify the other half of the pairing. We know that Wyll lost his eye during the battle with the cult of Tiamat and we know Wyll's scarring was designed with the intent to be a "physical, intimate sign of the contract between him and his patron" and to look "like his face had been grabbed very painfully by claws or sharp nails". Coincidence? I think not. 

Wyll would have been exhausted, having just survived his encounter with the cultists. Unable to fight back, Mizora could have simply plucked his eye out of his head and before he could even ask why she would have replaced it with a stone eye. This, she might have mentioned, was an eye made of blood stone and a sending stone that they would use to communicate. She might then explain that 'blood stone' (with a space in the middle) is a type of stone found in Avernus, imbued with special properties due to its hellish provenance. Or, she might not explain it at all. This type of stone might be why Mizora is able to track Wyll (there is a magical item in DnD called a 'Blod Stone' which has this ability). There could even be further abilities from this type of stone.

And Wyll, hearing that it is bloodstone, simply comes up with a different story to explain where it came from, thinking like all good liars that it is better not to stray too far from the truth and damning himself to being discovered in the process.

(Information pulled from Wyll_InParty2_Nested_FreedMizora and Wyll_InParty2_Nested_BladeStory dialogue trees)