Hey Guys, Ive Been Trying To Look For Information On NPD And ASPD Comorbidity But The Only Things I Can

spirituality as a system is so funny because now i have to worry about introjecting a random deity. like what do you mean i can just be minding my business and now loki is in mybrain like PLEASEEE

dear professor i cant seem to lock in. its so over

Being a system is so weird like my mummy and daddy didn't like me so now I'm sans the skeleton

Here’s my metaphor for systemhood that I tell my singlet friends.

Imagine you’re playing a first person video game. You have the controller, you control your character. It’s a normal first person game. You are an alter, the character is the body. This is fronting.

Other people live with you. Sometimes, they come into the room and sit and watch while you play. They sometimes try to guide you, give you advice on what to do next. They don’t always agree, and they can argue with each other. Other times they scream at you that you’re doing everything wrong and you suck at this game. This is co-consciousness.

Imagine how distracting it would be for people around you to tell you what to do, or to scream at each other or at you, even if they have good intentions. It wouldn’t be easy to focus on your game, would it?

Then sometimes, something happens in the game that prompts you to hand off the controller to someone else so they can play and you get a break. This is (some types of) switching. This can be good.

Other times, someone rips the controller out of your hand or fights you for it. This is (other types of) switching. And sometimes, six other players hook up their controllers, but there’s only one character to play as. So all of you have your controllers, but you’re all trying to play the same character. This is cofronting.

Imagine how difficult that would be. Imagine how hard it would be to try and play a game while someone is trying to take the controller from you, or while six other people are trying to play too.

There are also times that nobody is playing, or you can’t decide who should play. What’s happening to the character in the game? What are they doing if no one is playing? This is dissociation. The character is doing nothing. They’re stuck.

This is the best metaphor I have come up with for being a system. It’s something a lot of people get because they’ve played games before.

not endo myself but these questions are cool and i want to talk about my system so weeeee here we go

🦴 - thatss a good question honestly... as far back as i remember? i know i discovered DID by watching some youtube videos at like 11 and relating to them, but didnt think much more of it until my diagnosis at 15

🪽 - around the time of my diagnosis, i realized i couldnt ignore it anymore, so instead decided to learn to function together

🪐 - uhhh i believe luci? or maybe lexa... luci is one of our gatekeepers, and lexa is the primary protector. they were the most active in communication when we first discovered the DID

🔭 - roughlyy around the time of first discovery?? we had a list of names in notes app, we later swapped to simplyplural around the time of diagnosis (it had just been released, i think?)

🕸️ - nonee, we dont intentionally create alters, but we do have TBMC trauma if that counts ?? like yes they were created kind of on purpose but not by us lol

🫀 - we do! i honestly dont know if any of it is intentionally built or not but uhh it is pretty large and only some of us can access it

🌙 - wedont create alters, but our new splits like looking at ID packs and stuff! we dont use bah blogs though hinestly im not sure what those are

🦇 - gonna use "created" to mean split here, we recently did split but the new split doesnt have a solid identity yet

🍂 - ithinkk ᏩᏯ was the first host?? at least to my knowledge

🌿 - usually ID packs or just searching around, sometimes we ask friends for suggestions

🐚 - none of us really? unless you count kylo, he types like a myspace teenager lol so "to" = 2 and "for" = 4 sometimes, and many "xD" "lolz" and similar. he only types like that sometimes though

🪶 - yes! some of us have accents we picked up from media or people we grew up around

🪦 - a former therapist, i think? we would occasionally join system discord servers before that point, though

🕸️ - i usuallyyy dont, i generally only tell people i consider very close! for general strangers or not close friends, ijust say i have a disorder that impacts my memory, since thats the most noticeable symptom i have... for close people though i generally just tell them that i have a DID diagnosis, most people have been very understanding

🕷️ - not reallyy?? unless you count alters cutting off people lol, but generally anyone we have told has been understanding :)

🔪 - yes! my 3 closest friends all know (one is also a system), as well as my boyfriend (he is plural as well, i remember when i first told him his reaction was "oh my god... me too" it was really funny since i had been genuinely nervous to tell him LOL)

plurality ask game !

targeted to endos , but anyone can use ! post made by an endo :)

— start .

🦴 : when did you first start feeling plural ?

🪽 : when did you finally accept your plurality ?

🪐 : who was the first alter your system found that wasn't the host ?

🔭 : when did you start keeping track of your alters ?

— creation .

🕸️ : how many of your headmates are created ?

🫀 : do you have a headspace ? if so , how much was built ?

🌙 : do you use bah blogs to help create alters ?

🦇 : who's your most recently created alter ?

— general .

🍂 : who was your first host ?

🌿 : how do you find the names of your alters ?

🐚 : how many of you have typing quirks ?

🪶 : do any of you have an accent ?

— friends .

🪦 : who was the first person to know about your plurality ?

🕸 : how do you tell new people about your plurality ?

🕷 : have you lost friends over your plurality ?

🔪 : are you out to people irl with your plurality ?

Bro doesn’t even know I’m a we

it's completely normal to have conversations with yourself every day for your entire life. "who are you talking to?" duh, the girl that lives in my head. why, do you wanna talk to her too? I can put her on speaker if you want

Is it a headmate? Is it a fragment? Is it a facet? Is it a persona? Am I subconsciously masking? Am I subconsciously/involuntarily otherlinking/copinglinking? Is it a kinshift? Is it a ’flicker? Is it age regression? Is it a mood? Is it impulsivity? Is it an intrusive thought that I’m reacting to? Is it genderfluidity? Is it pronoun/namefluidity?

Who knows! Who cares! I don’t need to stress about this, it doesn’t matter! It’s a mode that the “I” is in, the way I feel in that moment! And I will make a pluralkit/tupperbox for it so I can express myself and decide the rest later! Or never! These labels are a construct! Personhood itself is a construct! I don’t need to box myselves! I can just live!

happy autism awareness day to all the girls who had “ friends” growing up who were actually bullying them . to the girls who always sat alone in the grass and wondered why nobody wanted to talk . to the girls who spoke to animals like they were listening . to the girls who created a little world in their room . to the girls who always felt ashamed for how deeply they love things and how passionately they enjoyed media . to the girls who covered their ears when they were overwhelmed by everything . to the girls who carrying a special thing around to feel safe . to the girls who never understood what they did wrong to feel so lonely . to the girls who were diagnosed later in life because they weren’t little boys who liked trains. you are so special and beautiful and you’re not worse for it, you love deeply and that is so wonderful please never try to push that down . I LOVE YOU !!!!!

it makes me kind of sad to see how many people online make fun of autism depictions in media... even the "stereotypical" ones. i often see people make fun of media with autistic characters (either canon described as autistic, or heavy implications and autistic traits) and then say its because its "inaccurate" and "stereotypical" and "overexaggerated" like... are we ignoring the fact that some autistic people do present that way?

my personal example of this is the tv show the good doctor, i watched the first couple seasons when i was like 14ish and first coming to terms with my autism diagnosis (before that point i had done everything i could to ignore it, and my mom had hidden the fact that i was diagnosed from me for a few years because she didnt want me to feel bad... i was diagnosed around age 10 and really would have benefitted from support, but never got any)

i am aware that the show doesnt have the best representation and isnt the most accurate, and i do wish the actor who played the character had been autistic, for better representation as well as promoting autistic actors... but i still loved the show, medical science is a special interest of mine and i have wanted to be a surgeon ever since i was very little, so i really liked to see a show about a topic i love that shows someone like me being successful! i was very happy!

later on i ended up going online and searching the show, all i saw were people making fun of the show and making fun of the character for autism things... all done under the "nobody actually acts like that" argument... it really did hurt me a lot, because i actually act like that. a lot of the struggles the character had are real struggles i face as an autistic person, even if the show doesnt always represent them the best

i struggle with making friends, i struggle with physical touch, i struggle with saying the "wrong" thing and not really knowing how to converse (especially in emotional situations), i am monotone, i need rigid routines, etc etc... so i was very happy to see a show with someone like me!! and it makes me sad how many people make fun of it with the excuse of "nobody is actually like that" because yes! people are! i am!