A Moment Of Me Realising That I Have My Copy Of Six Of Crows Since 2018, When 12 Year Old Me Spent Half

I will just leave it there and pretend im normal about this dialogue

THIS. And im so angry at myself that because of my way of living for this past 3 years i need to learn again how to just... Be ? How to calm down and do some small things if i want

in the meantime: study, journal, read more books, sit in silence, listen to music, take walks, take the stairs, do more things alone, do more things with friends, take notice of the small wonders of the world, create a sacred space in your mind

I totally gasped the same thing boy but not with the same emotions...

I'm showing to a friend the good culture (Six of crows) and I'm realising that maybe it's the first YA book that I've read which has romance where:

There's no love triangle. They know who they are and who they love and the rest of stupidities are left behind. I'm sorry but lately EVERY FANTASY BOOK HAS ONE STUPID love triangle.

They are all so different. And so found family. They kind of know each other. The bads, the goods. But they trust and respect each other. Besides all the differences. Kaz respects Jeaper's guns just because they are sacred to him. Without even asking. Not even my friends respect my guitar the same way.

They take care of ecah other on the little details. There's no heroic saves every page (just in some of them). It's about day by day decisions.

The romance is important but almost never the main thing. It's just there, like a side effect. They have more things than "Oh I wanna kiss my crush". It's a fantasy/adventure book which is ACTUALLY a fantasy/adventure book, not a romance one.

More less, all of that. Now I want to re-read them

My crows 🤧

Need this running through my veins because YESYESYESYES

if you think about it kavinsky almost definitely thought ronan killed his dad too. that’s gotta be part of the reason he was so obsessive.

k’s got this trauma and secret weighing on him so heavily and isolating him from everyone until he finds out that kid who’s dad was mysteriously murdered is a dreamer too. especially considering ronan was the one who found the body and he immediately shifts to become aggressive, impulsive, and starts avoiding everyone. k mistakes the clear signs of ptsd for signals that they’re the same.

in kavinsky’s mind he’s finally found someone who will understand everything he went through and all of his fucked up coping and communication. he creates this ideal image of ronan as his last chance at a genuine connection with anyone, with no secrets in between them. the ronan in his mind is patient with k’s addictions, trauma, and tendency to push people away because he understands all the reasons behind it.

they’re both dreamers, gay in a small town, labeled as aggressive and outcasted, and in k’s mind, both victims as abuse who managed to outsmart their abusers. ronan’s everything he’d been craving.

when ronan rejects him and essentially calls k delusional for thinking they could ever be the same, k loses not just a boy but the very chance to ever be understood and accepted by anyone. if someone who he thinks went through the same shit as him still thinks he’s too fucked up to care about, then he’s got no chance. he’d rather die and drag everyone down with him than spend the rest of his life isolated and hated by everyone around.

Ronan mimicking Adam in this scene is such a boyish of him and im so in love how Maggie Stiefvater ads this small things

people who are against annotating or writing in books will never understand the pure joy and satisfaction i get from writing "girl what" or "she's so me" or other unintelligible useless comments at the side of the page like if you put my tumblr reblog tags in real life