Marginalized Sexual/romantic Orientations Represented As The Real And Very Accurate Mythical Creatures

Eggscatly

[hands you these] part 97

everyone: which way do you swing?

neil: ...towards the goal?

reblog if you know a hella rad asexual person

“sweetie-bi” and “cutie-bi” 

So many modern detectives have tried to emulate Sherlock Holmes, and none of them have even come CLOSE to touching Benoit Blanc. That man is Holmes' true spiritual successor. He's a silly little guy. He's gay. He's a drama queen. He has impeccable fashion sense. He loves music. He works with the cops but refuses to work for them. His voice is both goofy and incredibly fun to listen to. He sucks at playing Clue and Among Us. He mopes in the bathtub for weeks when he doesn't have a case. He loves hanging out with The Girls but gets incredibly uncomfortable when women flirt with him. The only reason he can afford his gorgeous downtown apartment is because his husband works a real job.* The only thing he hates more than Rich Assholes are Stupid Rich Assholes. He solved a double (attempted triple) homicide and the thing that made him most upset was plagiarism. He supports women's rights and women's wrongs. He refuses to break the law himself but actively encourages his client to commit arson.

And, most importantly, he and Holmes would fucking love each other. If most of the modern day detectives inspired by Holmes ever met him, he would probably want to kill them with hammers, but he and Blanc would probably end up being penpals and sending each other newspaper clippings about crime or some shit. And I can absolutely envision a teenage Blanc reading the Holmes stories and being like, "Wait, being a silly little gay private detective is a viable career option? Well, I guess I've finally found my calling in life."

Anyway I love the Benoit Blanc movies and I hope they make a million of them

*confirmed by Rian Johnson

I am God.

Ex Machina (2015)

foods dangerous to dogs:

avocadoes

alcohol

raw bread dough

caffeine

chocolate

grapes and raisins

onions and garlic

macadamia nuts

raw salmon

xylitol (artificial sweeteners)

if you have a dog please reblog this