Latest Posts by readingsmessingupmyback - Page 2

six of crows by leigh bardugo

I know there are many iconic scenes in the book but why doesn't anyone mention the scene where Kaz proposes to surrender alone and everyone in the gang refuses without thinking while the whole city chases the crows, and he probably knew that if he surrendered he would be killed

But wasn’t that what every girl dreamed? That she’d wake and find herself a princess? Or blessed with magical powers and a grand destiny? Maybe there were people who lived those lives. But what about the rest of us? What about the nobodies and the nothings, the invisible girls? We learn to hold our heads as if we wear crowns. We learn to wring magic from the ordinary.

That was how you survived when you weren’t chosen, when there was no royal blood in your veins. When the world owed you nothing, you demanded something of it anyway.

Crooked Kingdom, page 460

Kaz Brekker.

Climbed over rooftops to sneak into his old gang house so that he could put on a suit.

Because he needed to be properly dressed in order to stage a coup against the owner of the gang he’d actually been running for years.

Got in a fist fight with half of that old gang.

Won said fist fight using only a crows-head-cane, rusty nails that he dug out of the floorboards, and his unquenchable well of anger and revenge.

Then gave a speech that scared the other half of that gang into submission, ran the old boss out of the building, and took over the entire gang.

And he did that alone. Without any help.

So when I say Kaz Brekker is iconic, I mean that he is SO iconic that no one else even compares.

canon things that Kaz has said/thought about Inej that I always forget about until I reread:

she is his greatest weakness

“I’m going to get my money, Kaz said. And I’m going to get my girl.”

his breath catches EVERY TIME that he looks at her

“I couldn’t bear to watch you fall”

he imagined watching her braid come uncoiled and wrapping it in his hand and rubbing his thumb over the pattern of the plait

he has had thoughts of Inej that involve moonlight and silk and hair

he trusts her and knows she is the one person who would never betray his weaknesses

he would die to see her smile /that way/ again

he bought her a warship (I haven’t forgotten this part but I couldn’t leave it off the list because the Bastard of the Barrel literally made her dream possible even though it means she will be away from him)

“say you’ll return” (!!!!!!!!!!) (I always, ALWAYS forget this line and it kicks me right in the gut when I reread it. He. Said. THAT.)

“IS MY TIE STRAIGHT”

@sixofcrowsnet heist: tragedies

“wylan understood then that he would never reach the school in belendt. he’d never been meant to. there was no secretary. no account in his name. no one was expecting his arrival. the supposed enrollment papers in his pocket might say anything at all. wylan hadn’t even bothered to try to read them. he was going to disappear, just as his father had always wanted, and he’d hired these men to do the job. (…) black spots filled wylan’s vision. he thought he could hear music”

How Six of Crows taught me that it was okay to not always feel fine

Since today is World Mental Health Day, I wanted to address a side of Six of Crows that has always been quite an important aspect to me.  

Mental illness and awareness is a huge topic in today’s society, and right of the top of my head, I can think of some brilliant YA novels that talk about the subjects; The Perks of Being a Wallflower, It’s Kind of a Funny Story, Turtles all the Way Down, and so on. The list is endless. But there seems to be a distinct lack of YA fantasy books that deal with mental health topics. I did a google search, and sure, you could argue that Harry Potter suffers from PTSD (controversial topic which I’m not going to express my opinion right here), or that Frodo Baggins suffers from depression (not a YA book, but you get the point), but the actual amount of YA fantasy novels where we can actually all agree that the protagonist or a side character suffer from a mental illness is incredibly small. Yes, it does exist, and a quick shoutout to all the fantasy authors who do write about mental health issues. I’m not gonna name any out of fear for forgetting any, but feel free to reblog this with any fantasy YA mental health awareness books you’d recommend (my personal favourite apart from SoC would probably be the Raven Cycle).

But honestly, Leigh Bardugo shows us that it is very much possible. A couple of her protagonists suffer from actual mental illnesses, others are insecure, or non-conforming in some way. Their issues are smoothly integrated into the story and help advance the plot by creating problems and secrets. It makes the characters incredibly interesting and round. It creates the least-cliché romantic side-plots I’ve ever read in a YA novel. And you know what? I think we, as readers, can learn something from every single one of the Crows.

Kaz Brekker teaches us that mental illnesses shouldn’t stop us from achieving our dreams. He teaches that you can not be able to touch anyone but still be powerful. That a horrible childhood doesn’t have to drag us down. Kaz teaches us how to be determined.

Inej Ghafa teaches us that faith can get us anywhere. She teaches us how to stand up to the people we’re afraid of, and that things that have happened to us in the past don’t have to define us. Inej teaches us how to be strong.

Jesper Fahey teaches us that it’s sometimes okay to go off the rails. That people make mistakes (and sometimes make a lot of them). Jesper teaches us how to be human.

Wylan van Eck teaches us that we are not our parents. He teaches us that we have the right to be our own people and don’t have to follow in anybody’s footsteps if we don’t want to. He teaches us to not listen to mockeries and insults. Wylan teaches us how to be independent.

Like Jesper, Nina teaches us that sometimes, we make terrible mistakes. she teaches us how to make them right. But she also teaches us to not be ashamed of who we are, even if we are different or special, and that our body weight does not define us. Nina teaches us to be proud.

And Matthias. Matthias Helvar teaches us that the way we we were raised doesn’t define us. You don’t have to follow the morals and the values and the hatred that may have been burned into your head. He shows us that people have the ability to change. They have the ability to forgive and be forgiven. He shows us that sometimes it’s okay to not know whether you’re doing the right thing. That sometimes, humans lose their way and have to find it again. Matthias teaches us how to develop.

Determination, strength, humanity, independence, pride, development. You know what? Those are some values I can get behind. And these six anti-heroic criminals teach us so much more. Of course, they teach us that it’s okay to not be heterosexual. They teach us that love isn’t always easy. That sometimes our pasts catch up with us. That we can’t always do what we want. But they also teach us that there are always people out there for us. A family. Friends. People who love us.

And I guess I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you to Leigh Bardugo, for creating such wonderfully human characters that I cried for and smiled for even though the real world was trying to drag me down. Thank you for creating characters who helped me understand that it’s okay not to feel fine.

And I also wanted to say, to everybody who is reading this horribly long monologue of mine (thanks for that, by the way), that you’re an amazing individual and you too can be a total badass like our favourite criminals if you put your mind to it. Stay safe, folks. And stay strong.

Happy World Mental Health Day.

Me, naive, reading this Crooked Kingdom scene:

‘aww, so Kaz is one of those characters who, despite everything, is kind to little kids’

Me, paragraphs later:

’nevermind’

I recently reread Cruel Prince/read the B&N short story, and I had THOUGHTS:

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dramione fic rec list

COMPLETED SERIES

this is my first deep dive into dramione and i wanted to share these amazing series i’ve read in the last few months. no particular rank or order to this list. enjoy!!!

Manacled - @senlinyu / @senlinyuwrites  if you’ve delved into Dramione at all, you’ve most likely heard of this incredible dark epic. it takes place in a Voldermort Wins!AU and takes inspiration from the Handmaiden’s Tale about population control in this new frightful era of the Wizarding World. be prepared for all 77 chapters to consume you in this tale of love, loss and hope in between. 

+ emphasis on dark epic. the writer themselves have acknowledged that with such dark and heavy themes, there are large aspects of the story that may be triggering for some people and therefore manacled might not be the fic for you - and that’s totally okay! (what’s important is that you take care of yourself) as always, read the tags and know your limits. + senlinyu is a phenomenal writer, often collaborates with @elithien, pairing their artistry together. @avendell is also another great digital artist who has worked closely with senlinyu, even creating multiple companion art pieces for Manacled (but try not to let the art spoil some parts of the fic for you!!!) + senlinyu has soo many Dramione works, just follow them & dive into it!

Bone Mortar - @mightbewriting enemies to lovers is a given in everything i’m about to talk about in this post, but this short and sweet series takes us to a modern!au setting of academia. what’s not to love about these two professors who are about to go head to head over a little administrative conflict at the start of the new school year?

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Can we please stop making people feel awful for shipping a problematic ship or for liking a problematic character? I've seen people accuse others for encouraging pedophilic behaviour simply because they ship an immortal with a mortal, and for encouraging abusive behaviour simply because they ship an enemies to lovers ship.

Certain self-righteous people tend to forget this is fictional characters we're talking about, and you can't judge a person from that. The characters you love or the ships you ship don't make you a bad person or a good one. If you like a perfectly healthy relationship, or are in love with the kind, cinnamon roll character, good for you. If you like that borderline abusive, slightly problematic ship, it doesn't make you a bad person, no matter what anyone says.

Additionally, this blog supports shipping "problematic" shipping, because fiction and fanfiction is not reality.

Whoever or whatever you like in characters and ships doesn't define your personality. Fandoms are treated as an escape from reality for most people, and that sort of behaviour makes our fandoms toxic which helps no one and nothing.

"Fine, make me your villain".

- The darkling (shadow and bone) by Leigh Bardugo

That single sentence really struck a cord with me. It exploited multiple things about the darkling and his character.

1. It conveys that he knows Alina (and many others) see him as the bad guy. He understands that they look at him as the villain who must be stopped because what he stands for and does is wrong.

2. He’s trying to make Alina understand that well what he is doing is dark and dangerous business, it’s not the wrong thing to do. He’s trying to make her see that sometimes bad actions must be preformed to generate good results.

3. Despite the fact that he’s attempted to explain his vision of a different future to Alina, he has come to understand that she simply doesn’t see it the way he does. He has come to understand that all she sees when she looks at him, is a monster doing monstrous things.

4. He is upset and frustrated that Alina can’t understand his vision and his actions, that she can’t understand him, that she only sees him as a villain.

5. That sentence also touches upon the subject that the villain never truly sees themselves as a villain. The darkling knows what he’s doing is bad, but he believes in his core that it’s ultimately the right thing to do. He believes that by preforming certain destructive actions, a positive result will emerge from the ashes.

6. That single sentence also shows that in Alina’s perspective, The darkling is her villain, but he doesn’t think he is. He thinks she should be with him, on his side.

The darkling is a very interesting villain because he is written to be very dark and very motivated, yet you can understand his motivation, you just probably don’t agree with his methods.

Take on the World | Kanej

Summary: post-Crooked Kingdom. // Kaz Brekker is the King of the Barrel, with nothing and no one standing in his way. He has it all. But he soon realizes that “all” is not quite enough when he thinks he might loose Inej forever.

A/N: It’s finally here! Ngl, I struggled a LOT with this fic, specially with Kaz’s pov. I wanted these characters to stay true to the books, so it took me a very long time to perfect this. All the lovely people who wanted to be tagged will be at the end. I want to thank you all so, so much for your support and enthusiasm. It makes the struggle worth it. Thank you, thank you thank you. Also, this one-shot was inspired by the song Take on the World by You Me At Six. It has Kanej written all over it.

Finally, let me apologize for this being RIDICULOUSLY long. Some of you already know I have no control over this, it’s useless for me to try and cut down on the writing - it ain’t gonna happen. Nonetheless, I hope you enjoy this! Comments are always appreciated, I respond to every single one!

Warnings: Crooked Kingdom spoilers!

Word Count: 6,722 (See, I told you. Someone PLEASE get in my ask box and say: “BRUNA, STOP WRITING SO MUCH, YOU’LL HAVE SO MUCH TO REVISE.” Because I clearly need an intervention.)

Find my masterlist here. Requests are open!

Happy reading, lovelies! <3

- All characters belong to our queen, Leigh Bardugo - 

Kaz

               She was leaving today.

               Inej hadn’t explicitly told him so. But Kaz knew – he felt it in his bones, in his veins, in his very heartbeat. He’d known there would be a day when he would have to fight through the tangled knots she’d skilfully, yet unconsciously, formed around his heart and let go of his selfishness, of his desire, so as to finally untie her from his life once and for all.

               He just didn’t think it’d have to happen that fast. That soon.

               There was still that part of him – that foolish, miserable, pathetic, hopeful part that longed to consider the possibility of Inej staying permanently in Ketterdam. With him.

               He had thought that she would, briefly.

               He had let himself hope, stupidly.

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To the person reading this, I hope tonight treats you gently, and that tomorrow looks brighter

Wanna hear a sad thought

So this has been scratching at the back of my brain for a few days now from a combination of a few things. Mainly a post about SOC feeling lie an origin story for an even greater myth (its somewhere on my blog if you can be bothered to find it) and an ask I got about if Inej died what would happen to Kaz which got me thinking about character death and what happens post CK to our lovely crow children. I’ve been noticing all the headcanons lately are super fluffy and like people naming Kaz and Inej’s children, which yes I know all fandoms do this and yes they are still good and make me happy. I just can’t feel like they’re real even if they capture personalities well and them still being a decent amount angsty because I don’t think anything like that gets to happen. The end of CK opens a lot of potential problems, hiding Kuwei was just a bandaid fix to a whole plethora of issues that are going to wreak havoc on the grishaverse. It definitely feels like the preceding story to something huge. Lot’s of characters with powerful connections and political tension, and manipulation. Basically like world war in the grishaverse, I think everyone from our little crew gets involved one way or another, they wouldn’t be the main characters of this story, but the ripple effect would get to all of them Nina especially because she’s a member of the second army.

The secret to Jurda Parem would get out and its as Van eck said throwing global markets into chaos, the Shu are making more Khergud soilders and using them to hunt grisha. The second army is still not at its strength, and its trying to recruit more soilders, Nina is there as well as Kuwei who works away on the antidote for Parem. He is never successful though. Nina manages to recruit Jesper into the second army when he sees whats happening to grisha convincing him its the safest place, and a strong cause. Wylan’s father’s empire or his now isn’t doing well because the markets are in total chaos, and he goes to Ravka with Jesper.

Inej is true to her word hunting slavers, but with the secret to Parem revealed most slave ships are capturing grisha, and they are being sold, having their worth increased. Most of the grisha she frees are taken to Ravka, but a decent amount have joined her crew, or crews because Inej now has several vessels under her command. She still goes back to Ketterdam and she and Kaz have a blossoming romance, but it doesn’t last long.

Kaz dies. Its a few years after SOC, but I don’t think he lives past 23. Despite all his threats, spider webs of lies, and Important connections. He’s pissed off the wrong people. The wrong grisha, essentially Kaz gets in deep shit with the council of tides, and despite what he says at the end of crooked kingdom he doesn’t really have much leverage. Once the secret to parem gets out the fake plague has resided, of course Ketterdam is still in chaos because of the war. Kaz is the only one of our crew still in Ketterdam, so when it somehow leaks about their heist, stealing Kuwei, the auction, and Kuwei dying and getting smuggled off to Ravka. The evidence is uncovered, with Ketterdam hanging on by the skin of its teeth, people are mad, and looking for someone to blame. So they blame Kaz. Of course it isn’t technically right to peg one man for all this trouble, but plenty of people already want the new king of the barrel dead. The council of tides is pissed, and already hates Kaz, since he doesn’t have the plague to threaten them with he cant do anything. The dreg’s won’t risk retribution from the council of tides, and they can’t get dirt on every government official and member of the Merchant council. Kaz faces public execution. Half of the barrel is there, a good portion of them celebrating and sneering, saying how Dirtyhands finally got what was coming to him. No matter how awful he was though, many show their respect, because he was still one of the most legendary criminals Ketterdam had ever seen. The last thing Kaz says is, “I did it Jordie.” 

oh, to be the owner of a small bookshop on a cobblestone street with roses climbing the front of the building, where books are stacked about in piles and there’s always coffee brewing and a sleepy shop dog lifts his head at the sound of the door’s bell and thumps his tail against the hardwood

To any suicidal followers I may have: This is a sign to not kill yourself. You are loved and the world is special because you are in it. Keep holding on.

Reblog this when it’s on your dash. You will save someone’s life.

CHARACTERS OF COLOR: inej ghafa → six of crows

But what about the rest of us? What about the nobodies and the nothings, the invisible girls? We learn to hold our heads as if we wear crowns. We learn to wring magic from the ordinary. That was how you survived when you weren’t chosen, when there was no royal blood in your veins. When the world owed you nothing, you demanded something of it anyway.  

Kaz in Six of Crows: 

Kaz in Crooked Kingdom: 

FIRST (second if you count ‘next’) LYRIC VIDEO FOR STARBOUND IS UP!!!!! My Six of Crows inspired song featuring four beautiful pieces by @eerna whomst I love with my WHOLE HEART. I hope you guys like it!!!! Click the video link for more of Jo’s social media and my pre-order link in the video description!!!! 

six of crows duology— flower symbolism

I admit, while reading , I kept forgetting that they are 17 year old teenagers. And it was because of scenes like this one, where that realisation came back to me in a huge wave.

This confusion in Inej's heart and mind. Her thoughts, her doubtfulness , her questioning herself. I have also doubted myself when it has come to matters of heart. And I think everyone does.

But even beneath her confusion, I can see a sign of maturity there. I know that they were all forced to grow up and mentally mature earlier due to their past. And by her maturity, I mean, how she understands, that just like her, Kaz has also gone through unexplainable stuff. The need for his armour. The need for her own armour. And it's not like she turns a blind eye to the things Kaz was trying to do for her. The net. She noticed it. Even though she had accepted and even tried to make peace with the fact that maybe she will never have him like she wanted to. She didn't shut him out.

I think all these little things, they talked to me more about her character. They made me live her and absorb her character more.

How to destroy a SOC fan

“Wait.” …. “Is my tie straight?”

This is the scene that says Kaz has officically adopted Wylan.😂😂😂

This is Kaz being a dad.

I would LOVE to see him as a dad though one day. He would either be showering his kids in Kruge or reading to them Suli bed time stories. Or idk what. My imagination is running kinda wild at the moment.

Kaz :

Inej :

I think now I am losing my mind, noticing all these parallels between Kaz and Inej.

Friend: are you okay?

Me:

Me:

Me:[ Kaz slowly becomes more comfortable with physical contact with Inej. They share a bed on her ship and he always slips his gloves under his pillow. Inej won't allow him under the covers if he doesn't. Without gloves or not at all. Sometimes the dark harbor and dead bodies creeps back through his dreams and he bolts from the bed in a cold sweat, thinking the body he holds is Jordie and the lapping of the water is the harbor. Kaz escapes onto deck looking over the inky black water,his fingers flexing over the lifeless wood. Sometimes Inej will slip from the sheets to go stand silently beside his side until his hand seeks out her warm fingers, reminding himself who she was. That she was alive and breathing. That he wasn't that eight year old boy anymore. Sometimes she stays in bed and he doesn't return till the morning. ]

Me: I'm fine

I think one of my favorite aspects of the Six of Crows duology is the fact that Kaz and Inej do not end up together.

And that’s not because I don’t ship them.

It’s because Inej, unlike so many YA heroines, isn’t what “heals” Kaz. Her love doesn’t magically fix him or make him a better person. He wants to change for her– he wants to get over his phobia of human touch. He wants her to love him. But it isn’t some overnight happening. He doesn’t suddenly overcome his affliction because of his love for her.

In the end, Kaz is still morally ambiguous, sometimes outright corrupt, and still has severe PTSD trauma.

And while Inej might love Kaz despite those things, she is not willing to lower her worth to accept them in a relationship. “I will have you without your armor, Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all.”

That was one of the most powerful YA heroine lines to her love interest that I’ve ever read. So many fictional girls (and real girls, for that matter) stay in the hopes of fixing a man, of healing his brokenness. Inej wants to heal him, but she understands that she cannot. Only Kaz can heal himself. Only he can want it enough to change. And it won’t be some overnight affair. Wanting to change and actually changing are two entirely different things. Kaz will have to go through agonizing changes if he ever wants to grow.

So far, he has accepted that he is the “demon of the barrel”. He still wants to burn the world down. He is still angry and hurting. He talks about wondering why over the years, with every violent turn his life takes, why his phobia has only gotten worse. It’s because he’s let himself rot in it. He’s stripped any and all goodness in the world down to the barest threads.

That’s why he is not ready for Inej. Inej, who might have her own issues and flaws, but who still has hope for a better world. Who is still willing to fight for it.

It’s not Kaz’s inability to touch her that she wants him to work on. It’s his mindset. His finality in the evil in his heart and his acceptance of it. He will never get over his phobia until he can understand goodness, the goodness of touch, the goodness of man.

And Inej will not accept him while he still holds on to that armor of hatred. And I think that is beautiful. It is healthy. It shows a level of self-respect that is often sadly absent from our fiction today.

Cross out everything you’ve ever done:

Had a beer

Smoked an entire cigarette

Written on a bathroom wall.

Read a George Orwell book. 

Had a physical fight.

Used Twitter.

Listened to Lady Gaga

Been in a car accident. 

Gotten suspended. 

Gotten expelled.

Been allergic to something.

Got a computer virus.

Touched a real gun

Had a dog

Had a cat

Been pregnant.

Camped out

Swam in the ocean.

Wore a bikini 

Driven a car

Been sent to the principal.

Ever liked someone.

Failed a class.

Failed a test.

Went to summer school.

Got worse than a D

Got A’s and B’s.

Read an entire book.

Recorded my own music

Had an xbox.

Worn heels more than 3 days in a row. 

Wore fishnets.

Wore skinny jeans.

Hated someone.

Been cheated on.

Cheated on someone.

Practised Christianity. 

Worn makeup.

Lied to my parents about where I was going.

Had surgery.

Had my license.

Self harmed.

Worn coloured contacts

Painted my nails black.

Broken someone’s heart. 

Had my heart broken.

Cried for an hour straight 

Lost something very valuable.

Got separated from one of my parents as a kid.

Broken a bone.

Gotten stung by a bee.

Eaten something bad/expired

Threw up from being so drunk.

Saw someone throw up from being so drunk.

Danced with someone of the same sex.

Owned an ipod

Owned an iphone 

Fell for a best friend.

Stole a friend’s significant other.

Went far away from home for more than a week

Moved out.

Ran away.

Had a job.

Been fired.

Lied to a friend.

Lied to a family member.

Had a Facebook.

Posted a video on Youtube.

Started a rumour about someone.

Talked bad about someone

Deliberately failed a test.

Been skinny dipping.

Counted to a million.

Counted to a thousand.

Ate rabbit meat.

Ate duck meat.

Had fast food.

Been to Church.

Been to Canada

Been married.

Had a divorce.

Broke a glass.

Hugged someone today.

Texted someone today.

Received a phone call today.

Threw something out of the window.

Ignored a text from someone.

Wished you were somebody else.

Had my feelings hurt by a friend and never told them.

Been to a concert

Seen your favourite band live

Met a celebrity

Met your favourite band 

Own more than 10 CD’s

 samwinchesterwantsme done!

So, everyone keeps complaing about what Cardan did in the end of twk but I'm like??? I have never been more proud of someone in my life like HELL YES Cardan is THE perfect High King, where he bleeds things grown. He had such amazing growth and he is so strong now and I am proud proud proud I love him

I love Cardan’s story arc. Like, love love love. 

And I won’t complain about what Cardan did when he exiled Jude (though it did break my heart a little because THEY MADE SO MUCH PROGRESS). BUT I also understand that he was trying to protect her. And, looking at the language, I mean…Jude is royal! She can say “hey my exile is over I’m coming back now” and she can. She’s just way too stubborn to even realize it. She’s just all “oh my god I’m so mad” and I mean I would be too, like being exiled from the place you call home is heartbreaking. 

I digress. 

Point is, I agree with you about Cardan. He’s opening up, we’re learning what he’s been through and why he’s had to become what people would consider a monster, and we learn that hey, maybe he doesn’t want to be cruel or wicked. Maybe, deep down, he wants to do good. And the land thriving off of him, the power he’s receiving, well, I think he wants to do good with it. He wants to be king and wants to do right for his people. And Jude. 

But he still has a long way to go.