I Hear You And I Raise It.

I think one of my favorite things about how Kaz is written is that his limp was caused by something so mundane. He fell. He broke his leg. It healed wrong. That’s it.

There’s no special cause, and we’re not meant to care about how it happened. It’s not written as a tragedy or some sort of marker of being a chosen or anything like that.

I’m not saying that it’s bad to have a tragic backstory for a character’s disability, but too often that veers into bitterness and demonizing a disability. We also just don’t get boring causes very often. And it’s almost always: something terrible happened to this pure and good chara, usually done to them by someone horrible and evil, because our baby hero is too good and cool and perfect to have been injured otherwise.

Kaz fucked up and fell off a fucking roof. And it’s certainly not his fault he has a bad leg now, but it does show that he wasn’t *always perfect,* the way some protags are written.

And he’s not perfect or portrayed as perfect at all. He’s a jerk. He is absolutely an awful person, but he’s not *just awful.* He has a very strong sense of honor and fairness, even if it’s been twisted by Ketterdam. Despite being described as ruthless and willing to do anything for the right price, we see him bluffing whenever innocents get dragged into things.

He constantly fights not to care about people because he thinks attachments are weaknesses, but very early on he ignores his phobia of touch to carry Inej at least thirty feet. That’s a lot even with his gloves on. He is definitely calculating, but he’s not heartless.

Even with Matthias, despite Kaz’s irreverence, he reassures Matthias about the sacred ash. He tells Matthias that it was only a metaphor, and that depite its significance, he shouldnt feel guilty in having brought it down. It’s somewhat cold, which I don’t really fault him for, because Kaz is not a soft character.

And Kaz is not a fuckboy. Because fuckboys are a very particular kind of gross. They’re womanizing, arrogant, entitled, and sexist. Most of Kaz’s behavior is tied to his trauma - he has severe PTSD and understandable trust issues, and he shouldn’t be demonized for holding people at arms length.

He’s not beingnstand-offish and secretive to be an ass. Kaz genuinely believes that he has to act that way to survive, and nothing about Ketterdam has proven otherwise. He still maintains a deeply trusting relationship with Inej - he keeps very few secrets from her and consistently allows himself to be vulnerable in her presence.

Kaz’s entire moral scale is balanced on what Inej will forgive him for. Theft, violence, scheming: all of this is fine. But killing an innocent woman? Exploiting sex workers? Burying Pekka Rollins’s son? Absolutely not.

He never pressures Inej into staying with him, though he does ask once. When she tells him she plans to leave Ketterdam, he works to make that possible, because her wants are more important to him than keeping her close.

When Kaz has a chance to bargain with Nikolai Lantsov, to ask for literally anything, he asks Niko to find Inej’s parents. He does things for her and does not ask for thanks. When it comes to Inej and the rest of the Crows, Kaz never thinks in terms of debt - none of the Crows owe him anything. He only makes bargains with them twice - once with Matthias, and once with Nina, and in both cases he is bargainng for their help. He pays Inej’s contract - pays, not buys - because he can and that’s what she deserves. He ruins the Menagerie for the same reason.

And when shit hits the fan, and everything looks like it’s going to come down on their heads, he doesn’t try to save himself. He offers to turn himself over to the mob to let the others go free.

🛑Rule of Wolves Spoilerrr🛑

The line in Rule of Wolves that goes something like she picked you Zoya, not me, not Kaz Brekker has the same energy as Ron saying it’s you that has to go on not me not Hermione youuuu

GUYS THIS IS NOT A DRILLL

YALL KNOW WAT THE CLOCK MEANSSSS

Friend: are you okay?

Me:

Me:

Me:[ Kaz slowly becomes more comfortable with physical contact with Inej. They share a bed on her ship and he always slips his gloves under his pillow. Inej won't allow him under the covers if he doesn't. Without gloves or not at all. Sometimes the dark harbor and dead bodies creeps back through his dreams and he bolts from the bed in a cold sweat, thinking the body he holds is Jordie and the lapping of the water is the harbor. Kaz escapes onto deck looking over the inky black water,his fingers flexing over the lifeless wood. Sometimes Inej will slip from the sheets to go stand silently beside his side until his hand seeks out her warm fingers, reminding himself who she was. That she was alive and breathing. That he wasn't that eight year old boy anymore. Sometimes she stays in bed and he doesn't return till the morning. ]

Me: I'm fine

Cross out everything you’ve ever done:

Had a beer

Smoked an entire cigarette

Written on a bathroom wall.

Read a George Orwell book. 

Had a physical fight.

Used Twitter.

Listened to Lady Gaga

Been in a car accident. 

Gotten suspended. 

Gotten expelled.

Been allergic to something.

Got a computer virus.

Touched a real gun

Had a dog

Had a cat

Been pregnant.

Camped out

Swam in the ocean.

Wore a bikini 

Driven a car

Been sent to the principal.

Ever liked someone.

Failed a class.

Failed a test.

Went to summer school.

Got worse than a D

Got A’s and B’s.

Read an entire book.

Recorded my own music

Had an xbox.

Worn heels more than 3 days in a row. 

Wore fishnets.

Wore skinny jeans.

Hated someone.

Been cheated on.

Cheated on someone.

Practised Christianity. 

Worn makeup.

Lied to my parents about where I was going.

Had surgery.

Had my license.

Self harmed.

Worn coloured contacts

Painted my nails black.

Broken someone’s heart. 

Had my heart broken.

Cried for an hour straight 

Lost something very valuable.

Got separated from one of my parents as a kid.

Broken a bone.

Gotten stung by a bee.

Eaten something bad/expired

Threw up from being so drunk.

Saw someone throw up from being so drunk.

Danced with someone of the same sex.

Owned an ipod

Owned an iphone 

Fell for a best friend.

Stole a friend’s significant other.

Went far away from home for more than a week

Moved out.

Ran away.

Had a job.

Been fired.

Lied to a friend.

Lied to a family member.

Had a Facebook.

Posted a video on Youtube.

Started a rumour about someone.

Talked bad about someone

Deliberately failed a test.

Been skinny dipping.

Counted to a million.

Counted to a thousand.

Ate rabbit meat.

Ate duck meat.

Had fast food.

Been to Church.

Been to Canada

Been married.

Had a divorce.

Broke a glass.

Hugged someone today.

Texted someone today.

Received a phone call today.

Threw something out of the window.

Ignored a text from someone.

Wished you were somebody else.

Had my feelings hurt by a friend and never told them.

Been to a concert

Seen your favourite band live

Met a celebrity

Met your favourite band 

Own more than 10 CD’s

 samwinchesterwantsme done!

oh, to be the owner of a small bookshop on a cobblestone street with roses climbing the front of the building, where books are stacked about in piles and there’s always coffee brewing and a sleepy shop dog lifts his head at the sound of the door’s bell and thumps his tail against the hardwood

“I’m not freaking out I’m freaking in”- Po

Same Po same

(Kung Fu Panda 2)

This scene, honestly. I just love it. especially the part where Kaz says "that's the laugh".🧡😭🧡.

Also... That little "is my tie straight" vulnerability from Kaz is one of the most precious things I have read.

And also that "He had his arm around her".

The fact that they both had such deep wounds and their PTSD. And also maybe because they never really had any kissing scenes, my brain has just made all of of their encounters super intimate. And. I.cant.stop.crying.

I just love this scene so much.

ALSO, there’s a difference between stanning Joost - who was an innocent boy who literally didn’t mean to harm anyone and was just caught in the crossfire of an experiment gone wrong - and stanning an entitled white woman who wanted to harm a girl of colour because she thought she would find glory in her death. 

Basically: Dunyasha stans don’t try to excuse away your bad behaviour and learn reading comprehension 🙄