Ratcig - Mentally Disturbed

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ratcig

3 years ago

Do I really like men or do I like men written by women? Everytime I see that on tiktok I think of you ahaha

It’s fascinating to compare male sex/romantic fantasy in literature vs female. I think it was someone on twitter that said, men objectify women and women personify men and it’s so true.

Female writers are like: a man with complex feelings and a tragic past who perceived me as a person and enjoys giving oral sex because he values my pleasure as much as his own. And male writers are like: she was a bodaciously bodied woman whose breasts rose up to greet me like two cocker spaniels. Did she have thoughts? I do not imagine so, but I did not care for I was hypnotized by the lurid thickness of her eyelashes and her Amazonian thighs.

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ratcig

3 years ago

Vincent, where are we? we where just at the Seventh Heaven and i just got done talking to Cloud...then you shown up and everything went dark

"Somewhere safe."

It's hard to feel comforted, however, when you realize that your wrists are bound to the frame of the bed you've woken up on; enough give that you can move them, but short enough to keep you in place.

Vincent doesn't look you in the eye. Guilt and shame flush his features, even though--in his heart--he knows he's doing what's best for you. You shouldn't get mixed up in things like this, in things like Cloud and the myriad of trouble that awaits you if you aren't kept safe--aren't kept out of it completely.

You're vaguely aware of a dull ache in your neck, radiating up into your head. Trying to remember what happened and how you got here is fruitless, resulting only in throbbing that makes you want to close your eyes and sleep, pretending it's all a dream.

"I won't hurt you," he says, standing up to survey his work. "I'm... only doing this to keep you from being hurt."

The words are directed at himself as much as they are to you.

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ratcig

2 years ago

I’m so sorry, once more, with feeling, then I’m done— Yan!Din Djarin HCs, but focusing on when she finally gives in, and decides to try to love Din. Kissing him back, wrapping her arms around him when he hugs her, initiating affection herself, etc.

How many kids do they end up having after she’s finally in love? 🙈

No need to apologize! 🤬 I love these, it makes me feel validated 🤧

I’m So Sorry, Once More, With Feeling, Then I’m Done— Yan!Din Djarin HCs, But Focusing On When

Hmmmm. It definitely started off slow. You didn’t want anything to do with him after you were initially taken. Purposely avoiding him in such a small space was not an easy feat, but once you started getting sick all of the sudden? It all started going downhill.

As always he watched from afar. Making sure that you realized on your own. He didn’t dare get close to you, instead he sent the kid as a peace offering.

Initially, very miffed that the man sent his own kid to do his dirty work, you ignored him, often allowing him to walk up in your space and waddle around. He brought some smiles to your face on occasions. He made things seem less darker than how they really were.

Mando acted (poorly, you thought) as if the child came up to you despite his ‘scoldings’. It was only a ploy to have an excuse to be close to you without your obvious hostility.

As you came to terms with your predicament, you grew tired. You were starting to feel lonely. You would let him touch you, kiss you, embrace you, but you never responded back.

He realized after a long while that you only reciprocated his touches during sex. Always being constantly turned on due to hormones (you assumed) was bound to make anyone crazy. He took what he could and he really took it good. It had gotten to the point where you didn’t have a day in which you didn’t have his cum leaking from you.

He relishes in the moments where you would grab onto him as he thrusted into you from behind. He relished in the way you would lead his hand down your panties and fuck yourself against him, the way you twitched and moaned when his mouth wrapped around your sore and swollen nipples.

One time he embraced you in your sleep. His chest was against your back and he nuzzled his nose into your hair. You shifted in your sleep and he froze momentarily. He immediately tightened his hold as you started to move.

He was expecting you to break out of his caging arms. You found him suffocating and you always tried to push him away, despite never reaching your goal. He tries to kiss away your scowl of disgust every time. You would stay still when you got tired of fighting against him.

This time though, you just turned to face him. Your eyes were half lidded and looking up into his. Your hand lazily came up to his cheek and your fingertips started caressing along his jaw, his nose, his brows and finally along his eyes.

His eyes fluttered closed as you lightly tapped his eyelids. He let out a heavy exhale through his slightly parted mouth. You’re hand fell to his hip and you shuffled closer, curling your head in the nape of his neck.

“Go to sleep.”, you mumbled demandingly against his skin. You woke up in the middle of the night, holding each other so closely, to the point where your legs were entangled. You changed positions quickly after, facing away from him and on the edge of the mattress. He managed to pull you up against him in his sleep and you sighed in defeat.

You would let him do things to you, on occasion sharing a kiss or a hug out of human necessity. He knew that your touches didn’t come out of love it was out of habit.

By the time you were pregnant the second time, despite your hopes that his many attempts to impregnate you wouldn’t take, you had managed to become downright affectionate towards him. Especially when finding out you were with twins.

You decided that things would be better if you cooperated fully. You started to feel something for him as the first baby djarin was born. His touch was so gentle with her, you could see the deep love he held for his children, making you realize that, that was the same look he gave you when you did something mundane, as you fixed up an astromech, as you feed your child mashed fruits or even just laying in bed, half dazed and delirious with left over pleasure.

He sits down with a heavy sigh. He turns to see you sound asleep, still swollen in the belly with his children. He smiled weakly as your chest rises and falls with every breath, the pendant still in between your breasts and glinting in the small candle flicking on the small table beside the bed.

He winces as he released the armor from his flight suit a little too harshly, causing it to fall to the ground in a loud clang.

You stir awake, cradling your bump, which was straining against the shirt you’ve borrowed from Din’s closet ever since he took the week long job. You sat up unsteadily, still half asleep.

He curses softly under his breath.

“Go back to sleep you need your rest-“

You cut him off before he could continue, placing your lips on his. He’s astounded by the way you deepen the kiss and especially by the way you pushed your hands into his locks so desperately.

Letting go of his face you maneuvered yourself behind him. You held him close to you, leaning the back of his head to rest on the curve of your breast.

“I feel like… I could try… for the children. For us.”

The two words echoed against his skull. For us.

You rested your cheek against his hair and sighed shakily. Your hands rubbed against his chest soothingly, feeling the ripple and curves of muscle and skin. You feel him shiver against you and start to tremble.

You looked down at him in concern, finding that tears were starting to run down his face. You kiss his cheek in reassurance and he grasps your hand in his.

It’s been two years. He was willing to wait more for you to be ready to fully accept him, but two years was a long time.

The days pass. He still gets chills whenever he feels your hands on his body. Wrapping them around him as he cooks something over the stovetop. Randomly coming up to him to give him a kiss on the cheek.

He especially gets chills when your start to beg him for more. At first you told him, very clearly, that after the twins were born, you two were done procreating. He agreed despite the downright displeased look on his face.

He even took you to the nearby village’s doctor. But he saw the way you stared at pregnant women as they walked by in the markets, with a sense of longing. The way he can see your brain turn to mush as you saw a newborn baby.

He saw your yearning to be bred, he heard it. Especially as he whispered huskily into your ear about how he wishes to see you swollen again, to have others see who you belonged to.

“Why do you say these things?”, you groan as you cover your face in embarrassment. You have never cum as fast as you did by his words, as hard as you did by his implications.

“They’re just words, mesh’la.” He grins against your shoulder.

“Unless… your liked it so much you might want to… y’know.” He waited for your response. You didn’t say anything for a while, just tracing over the letters on his chest written in Mando’a. As each of your children were born he added their initials accordingly.

“We don’t have the resources.”

“We can always renovate the house, I’m sure the village will be more than happy to help.”

“We can barely handle four right now, including a magic, wizard baby. It’s like you forget about his tantrums-“

“We’ll get a nanny droid. Your very good with repairing them.”

You huff.

“Go to sleep.”, you mumbled. He chuckled at your pout.

A month later you found out you were pregnant once again.

He doesn’t tell you even after you’ve had two more kids together (in result of a ‘malfunction’ in the device he disabled on your neck, which was marketed as the safest possible birth control option), that he was able to bribe (threaten) the doctor to deactivate it and ensure that you wouldn’t know a thing about it.

It seemed like with each baby, each vulnerable moment, you wanted him more, you loved him more. But you most definitely did not love him as much as he loved you.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Damn.🌚

Requests open! Feel free to share your thoughts and your own headcanons along with some requests ofc.

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ratcig

2 years ago

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ratcig

3 years ago

ADHD is spending your whole life being told that you’re not doing your best and that you could do better if you tried harder and worked harder until you believe it yourself, becoming convinced that your your best work is actually only your average, and there’s a mythical, hypothetical, never-before-seen Your Best, which is surely the work of gods.

So you end up with this inflated ego and stalwart belief that you should be capable of curing cancer, discovering new planets, composing new opera pieces to take the world by storm, if you only tried harder. But for some inexplicable reason, you simply won’t put your mind and focus on it, and now you hate yourself for not being the spectacular specimen you were taught you ought to be.

And that’s why you end up having these conversations with your therapist where they are like “normal people don’t put this kind of demands and expectations on themselves”, and you dead seriously fucking answer

“Yes, but I’m not normal people.”

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ratcig

2 years ago