Saved For Later

so like what if I started writing about a girl with her dead (supposedly) unrequited love and her journey to try to bring him back to life.

like ngl I think that would breathe the life back into me…

this is so fucking funny I love sharks

Part 5 of Celebrification

Masterlist | Entire Work | Previous Part | Next Part

Word Count: 663

Act 1: Scene 3

The oldest woman enters the room from stage left, hesitantly, and takes her seat on the chair closest to her, stage left.

THE VOICE: Now, 30, what do you say to the allegations? Would you say that your downfall from fame was all your own fault? I mean, you got involved in terrible, terrible things. Drugs amongst them. The media follows you like a moth to a flame. You’ve lost everything. Poor, poor dear.

30, wearily: I know that. I know my life and my fame isn’t what it used to be. We don’t need to keep talking about it. I know you’ve already asked the other two for their testimony. You don’t need mine.

THE VOICE: Yes, their testimony was necessary, perhaps a bit subpar in 17’s case, but yours will be just as necessary.

30: Necessary? What is my word needed for? The public has already seen what I have to give. I’ve given it all and lost it all. I don’t have anything else left to tell. I just want to be left alone.

THE VOICE: Perhaps… but what if you had the chance to tell your side, to show the people that it was them who drove you toward your demise! You have a chance to change things dear, and if nothing else, I’m sure many would be at least entertained by your story.

30, angered: Entertained! Entertained? I have lost my marriage, my sons, my right to manage my own life! How could anyone find joy in that?

THE VOICE: I never said joy, dear. Entertainment can just the same be derived from a true crime show as a comedy movie. And the entertainment found from your life can teach others the dangers of your path, and how few and far between the trait of true empathy has become. Your story is one of tragedy, of how the boring and mundane see the downfall of their favorite celebrities, and it breathes life into their little dried, desiccated lives. 

30: I guess that does make sense.

THE VOICE: And your testimony wouldn’t hurt anyone. The only one to hear you is me, and perhaps speaking about your life will bring you light to your… issues. Consider me a type of … therapist. 

30, snappishly: Issues indeed. I guess it really wouldn’t hurt. She takes a deep breath. I just feel failed by my fans. I’ve done nearly everything to be appreciated, and at some point, I couldn’t keep up. The paparazzi kept following me and following me. There were so many pictures of me doing things I shouldn’t have that I just lost it. I did drugs, and I got married, twice, and they failed, twice. I had children, and I failed them too. Then I got put into the conservatorship, and I lost my ability to choose what to do with my life, with my money.

THE VOICE: Keep going.

30: I guess I was just expecting for everyone to try and be helpful, to want to see me get better. Everybody talks about how humans are supposed to be, at their core, kind, but it seems that kindness has elapsed my situation. I got dragged through the mud, and I feel like that’s only made it worse. Honestly, it feels like everyone only really started showing up when everything started piling up. And people started to get really involved online with the hate, even more than the people who supported me. Like they… She realized something. found joy in my downfall. Interesting.

THE VOICE: It seems that you finally see my point. These fans that you did everything for, weren’t there for you, in the end. They were there-

30, continuing the statement: To live through me. I wasn’t really there to entertain them through music, their entertainment was found through the publication of my life. Through seeing how low I could go. 

She looks directly at the audience, staring for a few seconds.

The curtain falls.

random medical facts to use for your hospital whump writing. let your whumpee be a patient today!

if a patient has a seizure that lasts longer than 5 minutes, or if they suffer several seizures, they risk sustaining brain damage — because their brain can’t get oxygen during the seizure.

if a patient’s coughing up blood when they’re lying on their back, make sure to tune their face to the side so that they don’t choke on their own blood (the same applies to vomit too)

chest compression can and often leave patients with broken ribs. because you have to push down hard enough in order to help pump blood from the patient’s heart to their brain (the point is so that the brain gets blood, in order to prevent brain damage), and more often than not, you’ll end up breaking your patient’s ribs — that is normal and okay, because it’s better for your patient to have broken ribs than it is for them to lose their life.

after a course of electroconvulsive therapy, you’ll normally have to give your patient a dose of muscle relaxant, otherwise the aftermath of the shock may cause musculoskeletal complications.

you don't use a defibrillator to shock a patient if they already flat line, because their heart no longer has any electricity. quote "asystole isn't a shockable rhyme, and defibrillator may actually make it harder to restart the heart." (Cleveland Clinic)

the famous, classic "a character was knocked out and they stayed unconscious for hours before they woke up on their own with no lingering damage" trope is actually almost impossible if you want your work to be medically accurate (but if you don’t care about accuracy and are just here for the whump, that is totally fine!). if someone was knocked out and they stayed unconscious for more than several minutes, chances are that they suffer permanent brain damage, so they won't "wake up on their own in the next hour or two and be completely fine without intense medical attention".

Do you like chickens? Do you believe in the mysterious theory that the chickens are bald and the egg rates are decreasing? Do you believe in Gertrude?

That is a very good question.

I do in fact like chickens. There are many breeds and colors that are interesting, such as the Lavender Orpington. I highly recommend that you check those out, and they are also excellent egg layers (allegedly).

I don't think chickens are bald, if you are referring to the fact that chickens are not covered in hair, which they are not, but feathers are similar enough to hair in makeup (keratin) and use that I do consider them functionally hair. However, it is possible for chickens to not have feathers on all or parts of their body, as there are several breeds that have those traits on purpose.

I am not sure of the egg rates decreasing. I suppose I will have to do further research on the topic.

If this Gertrude will give me something to believe in, then I may believe in her. For now she will remain as she is, a name.

hmmmm interesting…

Well I hope Gertrude has fun leading humans elsewhere. It’ll be difficult.

Like herding cats, but otherwise a noble venture.

Do you like chickens? Do you believe in the mysterious theory that the chickens are bald and the egg rates are decreasing? Do you believe in Gertrude?

That is a very good question.

I do in fact like chickens. There are many breeds and colors that are interesting, such as the Lavender Orpington. I highly recommend that you check those out, and they are also excellent egg layers (allegedly).

I don't think chickens are bald, if you are referring to the fact that chickens are not covered in hair, which they are not, but feathers are similar enough to hair in makeup (keratin) and use that I do consider them functionally hair. However, it is possible for chickens to not have feathers on all or parts of their body, as there are several breeds that have those traits on purpose.

I am not sure of the egg rates decreasing. I suppose I will have to do further research on the topic.

If this Gertrude will give me something to believe in, then I may believe in her. For now she will remain as she is, a name.

it's funny although a little exasperating how artists designing "princess" or medieval-esque gowns really do not understand how those types of clothes are constructed. We're all so used to modern day garments that are like... all sewn together in one layer of cloth, nobody seems to realize all of the bits and pieces were actually attached in layers.

So like look at this mid-1400's fit:

to get the effect of that orange gown, you've got

chemise next to the skin like a slip (not visible here) (sometimes you let a bit of this show at the neckline) (the point is not to sweat into your nice clothes and ruin them)

kirtle, or undergown. (your basic dress, acceptable to be seen by other people) this is the puffing bits visible at the elbow, cleavage, and slashed sleeve. It's a whole ass dress in there. Square neckline usually. In the left picture it's probably the mustard yellow layer on the standing figure.

coat, or gown. This is the orange diamond pattern part. It's also the bit of darker color visible in the V of the neckline.

surcoat, or sleeveless overgown. THIS is the yellow tapestry print. In the left picture it's the long printed blue dress on the standing figure

if you want to get really fancy you can add basically a kerchief or netting over the bare neck/shoulders. It can be tucked into the neckline or it can sit on top. That's called a partlet.

the best I can tell you is that they were technically in a mini-ice-age during this era. Still looks hot as balls though.

Coats and surcoats are really more for rich people though, normal folks will be wearing this look:

tbh I have a trapeze dress from target that looks exactly like that pale blue one. ye olden t-shirt dress.

so now look here:

(this is a princess btw) both pieces are made of the same blue material so it looks as if it's all one dress, but it's not. The sleeves you're seeing are part of the gown/coat, and the ermine fur lined section on top is a sideless overgown/surcoat. You can tell she's rich as fuck because she's got MORE of that fur on the inside of the surcoat hem.

okay so now look at these guys.

Left image (that's Mary Magdelene by the way) you can see the white bottom layer peeking out at the neckline. That's a white chemise (you know, underwear). The black cloth you see behind her chest lacing is a triangular panel pinned there to Look Cool tm. We can call that bit the stomacher. Over the white underwear is the kirtle (undergown) in red patterned velvet, and over the kirtle is a gown in black. Right image is the same basic idea--you can see the base kirtle layer with a red gown laced over it. She may or may not have a stomacher behind her lacing, but I'm guessing not.

I've kind of lost the plot now and I'm just showing you images, sorry. IN CONCLUSION:

you can tell she's a queen because she's got bits I don't even know the NAMES of in this thing. Is that white bit a vest? Is she wearing a vest OVER her sideless surcoat? Girl you do not need this many layers!

Part 3 of Celebrification

Masterlist | Entire Work | Previous Part | Next Part

Word Count: 618

Act 1: Scene 1

A voice speaks out, loud and clear, disembodied: feminine indeed, bold as well.

The Voice: Hello, dear. It is nice to finally meet you.

17, confused and mildly fearful: Who is that??? 

The Voice: It is not important who I am, but who you were, are, and will be. Many say that you have been dealt a terrible card in life, but others say you abuse your spotlight, and that you are the same as all the rest. What say you?

17: Oh, I don’t really know what you mean…

THE VOICE: You really don’t know? You need to defend yourself from the… allegations.

17: What allegations???? 

THE VOICE: Very well then, you will eventually find out.

 Pause, the rustling of pages in the background.

THE VOICE: 17! Care to explain your claim to fame? Your rise to stardom! YOUR GREAT------ cutoff

Silence, then vague background noises, and perhaps a bit of shuffling from wherever THE VOICE is broadcasting themself from

17 looks around confused and alarmed until THE VOICE speaks again a few seconds later. THE VOICE: Deepest apologies, 17, would you mind sharing your negative experiences with fame? Or just really any experience?

17: Oh, I guess so. I’ve really enjoyed being in the spotlight, and my fans have been really supportive so far. Cue awkward silence.

THE VOICE, expectantly: Nothing else? 17 shakes her head No anecdotes on how your fans have been possessive, overbearing, or even the least bit too judgmental? 17 opens and then closes her mouth just as quick. Are you sure? Is there no moment in which you have had to defend yourself against your fans for something that is really quite… innocent? I need a bit of anything to go off of.

17: Well, yeah, there is, but what do you mean you need something?

THE VOICE, pauses for a few seconds: It is for but my own purpose, nothing you need to be concerned about…

17: Okay… skeptically Well, there was this one time when I did a music video. Actually, it was kind of recently. I was wearing a school uniform, and I just made it a little more teenager-y, you know. A bit more modernized, that’s all. Raising her voice slightly. And people online got really annoyed about how I wore it. I was just trying to be trendy and relate to kids my age. I was just tying up my shirt to dance, and I’m really used to it, considering that it would be stupid for someone to attend a dance class without wearing a shorter shirt, or less clothing. They said I was deliberately playing up my innocence, but I’m a teenager!

THE VOICE: I see… So, would you say that the general public response was trying to, how would the youth say it, drag you down?

17: Yes? Maybe? I don’t really know.

THE VOICE: Interesting. So, it does seem that these people, as you would say, tried to drag you through the mud, and perhaps, seemed to derive joy, or at least entertainment from attacking you?

17: I wouldn’t exactly say they were attacking me, it just felt annoying that they wouldn’t get my point. And I’m not sure about joy, but it did feel like maybe they came from a place of concern? I’m not really sure.

THE VOICE: Ah, I see… Well, then, you may leave 17.

17: Oh um, thank you for having me, I guess. Which direction do I go to leave? Door previously unseen at stage right is revealed. Oh, I see. Thank you, again. She walks to the door, slowly, and cautiously. Before she leaves, she looks back behind her and then hurries through the door.