Our Own Trap

#the original wednesday addams dance move The Addams Family (1964 - 1966) Wednesday (2022- )

atmospheric 🎶🎻

“If a society puts half its children into short skirts and warns them not to move in ways that reveal their panties, while putting the other half into jeans and overalls and encouraging them to climb trees, play ball, and participate in other vigorous outdoor games; if later, during adolescence, the children who have been wearing trousers are urged to “eat like growing boys,” while the children in skirts are warned to watch their weight and not get fat; if the half in jeans runs around in sneakers or boots, while the half in skirts totters about on spike heels, then these two groups of people will be biologically as well as socially different. Their muscles will be different, as will their reflexes, posture, arms, legs and feet, hand-eye coordination, and so on. Similarly, people who spend eight hours a day in an office working at a typewriter or a visual display terminal will be biologically different from those who work on construction jobs. There is no way to sort the biological and social components that produce these differences. We cannot sort nature from nurture when we confront group differences in societies in which people from different races, classes, and sexes do not have equal access to resources and power, and therefore live in different environments. Sex-typed generalizations, such as that men are heavier, taller, or stronger than women, obscure the diversity among women and among men and the extensive overlaps between them… Most women and men fall within the same range of heights, weights, and strengths, three variables that depend a great deal on how we have grown up and live. We all know that first-generation Americans, on average, are taller than their immigrant parents and that men who do physical labor, on average, are stronger than male college professors. But we forget to look for the obvious reasons for differences when confronted with assertions like ‘Men are stronger than women.’ We should be asking: ‘Which men?’ and ‘What do they do?’ There may be biologically based average differences between women and men, but these are interwoven with a host of social differences from which we cannot disentangle them.”

— Ruth Hubbard, “The Political Nature of ‘Human Nature’“ (via gothhabiba)

Yes.

Things That May Be Causing Your Writer's Block- and How to Beat Them

I don't like the term 'Writer's Block' - not because it isn't real, but because the term is so vague that it's useless. Hundreds of issues all get lumped together under this one umbrella, making writer's block seem like this all-powerful boogeyman that's impossible to beat. Worse yet, it leaves people giving and receiving advice that is completely ineffective because people often don't realize they're talking about entirely different issues.

In my experience, the key to beating writer's block is figuring out what the block even is, so I put together a list of Actual Reasons why you may be struggling to write:

(note that any case of writer's block is usually a mix of two or more)

Perfectionism (most common)

What it looks like:

You write one sentence and spend the next hour googling "synonyms for ___"

Write. Erase. Write. Rewrite. Erase.

Should I even start writing this scene when I haven't figured out this one specific detail yet?

I hate everything I write

Cringing while writing

My first draft must be perfect, or else I'm a terrible writer

Things that can help:

Give yourself permission to suck

Keep in mind that nothing you write is going to be perfect, especially your first draft

Think of writing your first/early drafts not as writing, but sketching out a loose foundation to build upon later

People write multiple drafts for a reason: write now, edit later

Stop googling synonyms and save that for editing

Write with a pen to reduce temptation to erase

Embrace leaving blank spaces in your writing when you can't think of the right word, name, or detail

It's okay if your writing sucks. We all suck at some point. Embrace the growth mindset, and focus on getting words on a page

Lack of inspiration (easiest to fix)

What it looks like:

Head empty, no ideas

What do I even write about???

I don't have a plot, I just have an image

Want to write but no story to write

Things that can help:

Google writing prompts

If writing prompts aren't your thing, instead try thinking about what kind of tropes/genres/story elements you would like to try out

Instead of thinking about the story you would like to write, think about the story you would like to read, and write that

It's okay if you don't have a fully fleshed out story idea. Even if it's just an image or a line of dialogue, it's okay to write that. A story may or may not come out of it, but at least you got the creative juices flowing

Stop writing. Step away from your desk and let yourself naturally get inspired. Go for a walk, read a book, travel, play video games, research history, etc. Don't force ideas, but do open up your mind to them

If you're like me, world-building may come more naturally than plotting. Design the world first and let the story come later

Boredom/Understimulation (lost the flow)

What it looks like:

I know I should be writing but uugggghhhh I just can'tttttt

Writing words feels like pulling teeth

I started writing, but then I got bored/distracted

I enjoy the idea of writing, but the actual process makes me want to throw my laptop out the window

Things that can help:

Introduce stimulation: snacks, beverages, gum, music such as lo-fi, blankets, decorate your writing space, get a clickity-clackity keyboard, etc.

Add variety: write in a new location, try a new idea/different story for a day or so, switch up how you write (pen and paper vs. computer) or try voice recording or text-to-speech

Gamify writing: create an arbitrary challenge, such as trying to see how many words you can write in a set time and try to beat your high score

Find a writing buddy or join a writer's group

Give yourself a reward for every writing milestone, even if it's just writing a paragraph

Ask yourself whether this project you're working on is something you really want to be doing, and be honest with your answer

Intimidation/Procrastination (often related to perfectionism, but not always)

What it looks like:

I was feeling really motivated to write, but then I opened my laptop

I don't even know where to start

I love writing, but I can never seem to get started

I'll write tomorrow. I mean next week. Next month? Next month, I swear (doesn't write next month)

Can't find the time or energy

Unreasonable expectations (I should be able to write 10,000 words a day, right????)

Feeling discouraged and wondering why I'm even trying

Things that can help:

Follow the 2 min rule (or the 1 paragraph rule, which works better for me): whenever you sit down to write, tell yourself that you are only going to write for 2 minutes. If you feel like continuing once the 2 mins are up, go for it! Otherwise, stop. Force yourself to start but DO NOT force yourself to continue unless you feel like it. The more often you do this, the easier it will be to get started

Make getting started as easy as possible (i.e. minimize barriers: if getting up to get a notebook is stopping you from getting started, then write in the notes app of your phone)

Commit to a routine that will work for you. Baby steps are important here. Go with something that feels reasonable: every day, every other day, once a week, twice a week, and use cues to help you remember to start. If you chose a set time to write, just make sure that it's a time that feels natural to you- i.e. don't force yourself to writing at 9am every morning if you're not a morning person

Find a friend or a writing buddy you can trust and talk it out or share a piece of work you're proud of. Sometimes we just get a bit bogged down by criticism- either internal or external- and need a few words of encouragement

The Problem's Not You, It's Your Story (or Outline (or Process))

What it looks like:

I have no problems writing other scenes, it's just this scene

I started writing, but now I have no idea where I'm going

I don't think I'm doing this right

What's an outline?

Drowning in documents

This. Doesn't. Make. Sense. How do I get from this plot point to this one?!?!?! (this ColeyDoesThings quote lives in my head rent free cause BOY have I been there)

Things That Can Help:

Go back to the drawing board. Really try to get at the root of why a scene or story isn't working

A part of growing as a writer is learning when to kill your darlings. Sometimes you're trying to force an idea or scene that just doesn't work and you need to let it go

If you don't have an outline, write one

If you have an outline and it isn't working, rewrite it, or look up different ways to structure it

You may be trying to write as a pantser when you're really a plotter or vice versa. Experiment with different writing processes and see what feels most natural

Study story structures, starting with the three act structure. Even if you don't use them, you should know them

Check out Ellen Brock on YouTube. She's a professional novel editor who has a lot of advice on writing strategies for different types of writers

Also check out Savage Books on YouTube (another professional story editor) for advice on story structure and dialogue. Seriously, I cannot recommend this guy enough

Executive Dysfunction, Usually From ADHD/Autism

What it looks like:

Everything in boredom/understimulation

Everything in intimidation/procrastination

You have been diagnosed with and/or have symptoms of ADHD/Autism

Things that can help:

If you haven't already, seek a diagnosis or professional treatment

Hire an ADHD coach or other specialist that can help you work with your brain (I use Shimmer; feel free to DM me for a referral)

Seek out neurodiverse and neurodiverse writing communities for advice and support

Try body doubling! There's lot's of free online body doubling websites out there for you to try. If social anxiety is a barrier, start out with writing streams such as katecavanaughwrites on Twitch

Be aware of any sensory barriers that may be getting in the way of you writing (such as an uncomfortable desk chair, harsh lighting, bad sounds)

And Lastly, Burnout, Depression, or Other Mental Illness

What it looks like:

You have symptoms of burnout or depression

Struggling with all things, not just writing

It's more than a lack of motivation- the spark is just dead

Things that can help:

Forget writing for now. Focus on healing first.

Seek professional help

If you feel like it, use writing as a way to explore your feelings. It can take the form of journaling, poetry, an abstract reflection of your thoughts, narrative essays, or exploring what you're feeling through your fictional characters. The last two helped me rediscover my love of writing after I thought years of depression had killed it for good. Just don't force yourself to do so, and stop if it takes you to a darker place instead of feeling cathartic

Stones Meanings & Trees

Amazonite: Confidence, Self-love, Creative Expression

Amethyst: Intuition, Balance, Higher Wisdom

Apatite: Energetic Clearing, Psychic Attunement, Authenticity

Aventurine: Prosperity, Well being, Good Luck

Angelite: Divine Love, Gentleness, Healing

Black Tourmaline: Protection, Banishing, Security

Black Onyx: Blocking Negativity, Patience, Determination

Blue Goldstone: Inspiration, Optimism, Dreaming

Blue Aventurine: Hope, Clear Speech, Empathy

Blue Calcite: Serenity, Restoration, Releasing Stress

Carnelian: Passion, Sexual energy, Creativity

Citrine: Brightness, Positive Energy, Clearing, Prosperity, Success

Clear Quartz: Awareness, Amplifying Energy, Clarity

Dalmatian Stone: Loyalty, Family Bonds, Connection to Animals

Fluorite: Renewal, Harmony, Energizing

Garnet: Self-Esteem, Victory, Eternal Love

Hematite: Courage, Inner Strength, Grounding

Howlite: Calming, Compromise, Sleep

Lapis Lazuli: Psychic Vision, Celestial Energy, Nobility

Labradorite: Awakening Joy, Interdimensional Travel, Innovation

Lepidolite: Emotional Balance, Stress Relief, Spiritual Growth

Leopardskin Jasper: Adaptability, Shamanic Journeys, Animal magick

Malachite: Wealth, Beauty, Individuality

Mahogany Obsidian: Earth Energy, Personal Power, Integrity

Moss Agate: Contentment, Connection with nature, Abundance

Moonstone: Intuition, Sensuality, Safe Travel

Prehnite: Shielding, Self-Care, Discernment

Pyrite: Shielding, Success, Money Magick

Red Goldstone: Happiness, Ingenuity, Boldness

Red Jasper: Strength, Honesty, Stability

Rhodonite: Forgiveness, Relationships, Overcoming

Rose Quartz: Unconditional Love, Emotional Healing, Compassion

Ruby Fuchsite: Integration, Friendship, Trust

Selenite: Purification, Peace, Enlightenment

Sodalite: Communication, Self expression, Truth

Serpentine: Hidden Mysteries, Observation, Instinct

Snowflake Obsidian: Spiritual Protection, Transmutation, Acceptance

Sunstone: Leadership, Generosity, Blessings

Tiger's Eye: Willpower, Warrior's spirit, Self-Motivation

Unakite: Attraction, Resolve Conflict, Healing the Past

Almond:  Prosperity, wisdom

Apple: Love, healing

Ash: Protection, healing, prosperity

Aspen: Protection from thieves

Avocado: Love, lust, beauty

Banyan: Luck, knowledge

Beech: Creativity, tolerance

Birch: Rebirth, purification, protection of children, Moon matter

Bodhi: Meditation, wisdom, fertility, protection

Buckthorn: Exorcism, protection, legal matters

Cedar: Healing, purification, protection, prosperity

Cherry: Love, divination, healing

Cypress: Immortality- longevity, protection, strength, death, protection, wishes

Elder: Defends against evil and negative energy. Protection, health, spirituality, banishment

Elm: Protection, love

Fig: Fertility, balance, safety

Hawthorne: Protects against damage from storms, encourages happiness. Fertility and purification.

Hazel: Wisdom, abundance, protection, luck, divination, inspiration

Hickory: Legal matters

Holly: Protection, luck, dream magick, consecration, prosperity

Larch: Protection, anti-fire

Licorice: Love, fidelity

Lilac: Defends against harmful spirits, exorcism, love

Linden: Protection, luck, immortality, love

Magnolia: Fidelity

Maple: Love, prosperity, longevity, unification, divining rod

Mesquite: Healing, magical fires

Mimosa: Protection, dreams, love, purification

Mulberry: Protection, strength

Myrtle: Fertility, youth, love, peace, prosperity

Oak: Protection, health, luck, power, strength

Peach:  Longevity, protection, fertility, divination, happiness

Pear: Lust, love

Pecan: Employment

Pepper tree: Purification, healing, protection

Pine: Protection, longevity, healing, fidelity, purification

Plum: Protection, the wild

Pomegranate: Wealth, money-attraction

Poplar: The Crone, astral projection, divination, rebirth

Rose: Love

Rowan: Protects health, healing, divination

Sandalwood: Protection, healing, exorcism, spirituality

Sassafras: Defends against evil and negative spirits, health, and propsperity

Walnut: Healing, mental powers, protection

Willow: Moon magick, protection, healing, divination, love

Witch Hazel: Protection, divination

Yew: Death, immortality, protection