The Lights In The Gym Bathroom Aren't Turning On But I Have To Get Changed .am I About To Get Murdered

Keep the flame going for those we have lost to suicide. 

there's something about the way that derek hasn't been fought for, not in a long time.

laura was fiery. she held just as much anger as he did, but she didn't use it as an anchor — she used it to be a better person. all throughout new york, she was there, beside him, helping him get out of bed, helping with the only schoolwork he'd had, introducing him to new things. stitching him back together after he'd been torn apart by kate argent's hands, after their hearts were ripped out of their chest, after the loss of pack, family.

she was the last person who'd fought for him, claws out the moment she suspected he was in danger, telling him she needed him, that he couldn't leave, that she would be there for him until her very last breath. in all fairness, they were halves to a whole; he did the same thing for her, because they're twins.

but then, right when things were okay, he'd come home to yet another tragedy. his sister buried, mangled in half.

and suddenly, there was no one left, nobody there to fight for him. nobody who'd look him in the eyes, tell him it was alright, that they need him, that he's not going to be like this, live like this, his entire life. it went like that for months.

only for him to eventually be seen as a monster, by teenagers he'd only been trying to help, even if it was misguided, even if he'd made mistakes. he scared people, he ruined things. derek would see their fear, and think it must only be right. he's a disaster.

and then, his uncle, who he'd looked up to as a child, who he'd loved and trusted and felt guilty for, because derek'd led him to burnt remains, had turned around and murdered their own flesh and blood. in reckless want of a power he'd thought unlimited; when in reality it was fickle, finite.

even still, he's the one who's considered a monster when his eyes become red. when he wants to help people, when he sees teenagers that are in bad situations, who've been dealt a bad hand, he's a monster. he's the one hurting them.

he loves them, because they're pack, but at some point, he knows that the people around him have a point. that it was born out of loneliness, out of longing for a family he'd lost at freshly sixteen.

and suddenly they're not fighting for him, but they're scared, and hurt, and all they've ever wanted is to be happy, to live a normal life, derek. you've made them just like you, haven't you?

derek doesn't think he deserves to be fought for, to be loved, anymore. not when it comes at the expense of his pack, when it means tearing lives apart. so, he does what he does best — he hides, shuts himself down. he thinks this is it. this is his fault, and he's ruined every person he ever loved, and his family is gone, and it must be fate that derek hale is the one who leads you to certain death.

but then, just when it's at it's worst, there's stiles.

stiles, who had made it clear that he doesn't consider werewolves an abomination. him, an abomination. stiles, who'd time and time again, save derek's life, save him from drowning both literally, metaphorically; stiles, who risks everything just to bring derek out alive, stiles, who puts a hand on his shoulder when he needs it.

stiles, who will crack jokes until he knows derek is laughing along, who doesn't mind derek's exterior but instead welcomes it. stiles, who stood up for him every chance he'd gotten, who knew that derek hale was not a monster, but a kid who'd been hurt and scarred, and payed for it nearly every day of his life. stiles, who saw derek, and never once went off track, never once stopped trying to understand him.

stiles, who'd fought for derek, tooth and nail, who made him stay.

and derek is scared. so, incredibly scared. but stiles looks at him, and sees the world on his shoulders, and says, "i'll help carry the weight."

stiles looks at him, and he says, "i love you, and i need you, i want you here. so please, stay." and derek is relieved when there's no blip in his heartbeat, when he knows that stiles means it.

Obsessed with pre-Enterprise Kirk being "grim and bookish". We have a canon back story of him ruining a guy's career by reporting a mistake because Starfleet regulations required it. He's rising through the ranks but is manifestly made unhappy by the pressures of command, as he admits to Bones in Balance of Terror.

But then so often in TOS he's this flirty heart eyes motherfucker. The only possible explanation for this change in personality is Spock? That's the major thing that's changed in his life, the presence of this weird tall alien who says absolutely wild shit with a completely straight face and makes Kirk stop taking everything so seriously

I love the tribbles episode because we see this in action. Kirk is pissed off the whole episode and then he goes to the mess hall and sees Spock petting the tribble and he almost SOBS. It's like "Ok. Bad day but everything's gonna be alright. Spock is here and he's doing his weird thing. This is my gravitational constant."

Isn't it kind of beautiful that the guy everyone thinks is unemotional is the exact person that makes Kirk step back and look at the universe with a sense of humor?

[id: a light blue userbox with a light blue border, and light blue text that reads “ this user’s special interest is sea creatures, but especially loves sharks and deep sea animals.” on the left is an image of a blue shark sticker. /end id]    

trans dean. you agree, reblog.

one fun thing about being a teacher in march 2023 is that chess is a literal epidemic among teens. we are starting to have meetings about how we can STOP teenagers from playing too much chess which is like if we were trying to figure out how to stop them from reading for fun. When i was in high school five years ago chess was nerd shit only but now it is transcending every social and language barrier and is absolutely rampant. kids aren’t on their phone texting in class anymore it’s ONLY chess.com. kids are playing chess on their phones while playing chess in real life. this is still better than tiktok because at least the kids are developing an attention span from this

Posting on my various sideblogs bc they get more traffic than this one for a shred of validation >>>

Uh oh, feeling a little bit wacky today! [On the verge of blowing up at my loved ones and intentionally damaging our relationship] it's just kinda like that sometimes haha :)

Here to make you smile

there are very few ancient artifacts that make me more emotional than roman tombstones that thank the reader for stopping by and wish them well. there's simply something so sweet and gentle to me about imagining a traveler stopping along the road to read someone's final dedication and being sent away with the blessings of a thankful ghost