“Gatorbutt” Imagine Incorporating This Old Slang With His Current One 🤣

bruce: duke please stop jumping out of moving cop cars as a civilian there’s not enough protection in your normal clothes for that

duke: do you just want me take racial profiling lying down then??? in black history month????

Ouch. This hurts a bit 🥲👍

"Why'd the soldier run into the demo site before it went down?"

Soap sighed, throwing a long suffering glance to his Lieutenant. He shifted his grip on his rifle. He could pretend he didn't hear the man but... either morbid curiosity or masochism won out. He wasn't sure which. "Why?"

"To C-4 himself."

"Awful."

"More?"

"As if you'd stop if I said 'no'." Years of practice kept a smile off his face. In all the time Soap had known Ghost, the man's sense of humor had remained steadfastly terrible.

Their unit advanced. Ghost and Soap were in the lead, spread far enough to need comms to talk, but close enough to signal one another if need be. Their men fanned out behind them.

"You hear 'bout the microwave incident on base?" Ghost's voice had taken on an ethereal quality.

Glancing over again, Soap spared a moment to admire the other man's silhouette against the muted orange glow filtering through the trees. He deftly stepped over branches and around trees. Rifle at the ready. Always ready.

Soap had missed this. Missed him. Missed them.

Soap hadn't blown up a microwave for fun in much too long. He hadn't had time, too desperate to fix things. Things were fixed. He'd need to change that when they got back. "Go on."

"Lost two kernels in a popcorn explosion."

"Tragic. Your jokes are painful, Lt."

"I'm just warming up."

Good. "That's a worrying statement."

"'Fraid of a good time, Johnny?"

"Afraid your jokes'll be the death of me."

"You could only hope so."

Trees and branches created illusory enemies as the trudged through the wood, but their trained eyes and steel nerves kept their small platoon from panicking. Sure-footed, they kept searching.

Soap offered one of his own. "What do you call an officer who spends too much time at the head?"

"What?"

"A loo-tenant."

"Not bad." A pause, Soap had just begun to soak in the praise when Ghost continued. "Not good either."

"Fucker. Yours're no better."

"I'm much better."

You are. "Keep telling yourself that."

"Why's there no winning a war with zombies?"

"Ghost." Soap's warning fired off nearly unbidden. He didn't like where this joke was headed. Behind him he heard one of his men misstep, a twig snapping. Perhaps the cause of his warning had been mistaken.

"Cause it's dead even."

"No. Too topical, Ghost. Don't like that one."

Minute crackling from the smoldering world around them filled the uncomfortable silence that followed his outburst.

"Lighten up, Johnny." Easy for him to say.

"I'll try, Sir."

"Heard the Navy is the most religious military branch. 'Parently they love a good warship."

***

Why did they have to use comms? Why did they have to keep that thing around?

The Sergeant was a freak, but at least he was still human. Still alive.

"Hnnnnnnggggrrrrrrraaaaahh." The fucking monster that had once been their Lieutenant moaned, scratchy and split. It traveled through the smoke unnaturally, fraying the nerves of the men it led.

"Go on."

"Rrrrrah arrrrrrrrnnnnnn."

"Tragic. Your jokes are painful, Lt."

It still moved like a man, from a distance you'd never know.

But the sounds. Why did they keep it? It was one of them.

"Eyuhm. Mruuuuaaammm."

"That's a worrying statement."

Why the hell did the fucking thing moan into comms? Why did the Sergeant respond like it was talking? Why did they all have to pretend they weren't being led to their deaths by a fucking Zombie and a mutant who'd lost his mind?

"No. Too topical, Ghost. Don't like that one."

MacTavish's snap quieted the monster for a moment. Holy shit he could breath again.

"Ahhmff. Ohnneeee."

"I'll try, Sir."

The beast began to moan again, it floated back to them, broken bloodied nails against his nerves. It crackled through their comms. It was destroying him. "I can't fucking take this anymore!"

Both freaks rounded on him. He leveled his gun at the former Lieutenant.

"Corporal Evans, what the fuck?" Sergeant MacTavish snarled. Green eyes mutely glowing.

"That fucking thing keeps moaning. He's dead, he's one of them! Why are we pretending he isn't?"

The Sergeant was moving before Evans could even blink. Evans fired off a shot but it went wide, nowhere near his target, as the Sergeant laid hands on him.

Green smoke emanated from the mutant, eyes glowing fiercely as he threw Evans into a tree and held him there. Pain in his collar bone and a loud crack told him it had been broken.

The Sergeant barked something at him, but his ears were ringing too loudly and his mind was clouded. He must've hit his head against the tree.

***

"Heard a shot, boys. Report."

"Evans lost his damn mind and took a shot at Ghost." Soap spat. He was ready to rip the Corporal limb from limb, the traitor would deserve it.

"He hit?"

A hand landed on his shoulder. A bloodied skeleton print glove, missing the ring finger and revealing grayed flesh and blood caked under the nail.

Toxic green met milky white. Ghost's eyes still conveyed such intense emotions. He was worried about the shot and yelling giving away their position. He was feigning indifference to being targeted. He was angry about Soap losing his head.

"Ohnee. Rauhghh."  Ghost's voice echoed within Soaps mind as well. 'Johnny. Cool it.'

"Ghost's fine. Shot missed."

"Hhhnnnnaowww."

Soap rolled his eyes and dutifully translated for the others. "Apparently I just broke Evans's collar bone."

Price grunted before ordering. "Right. Bring him back in one piece, he'll be dealt with later."

Two of the others had stepped up. Zip-cuffs and duct tape in hand. There'd be no more outbursts from Evans, then.

"He probably got heated because you're not translating for us, Soap. I'm missin' his comedy gold." Gaz piped up.

Ghosts exposed mouth was one of the benefits to his condition, he refused to use a different mask since the incident. His slack, broken jaw didn't stop him from smiling.

"Hnnh hnnhh huaaaaaarrrrrnnnnnghuhh."

Soap closed his eyes and centered himself. Things had been so touch and go for so long. Theyd kept Ghost caged because they didn't know they could still trust him. No one could hear him. When The Director had offered to change that, in exchange for Soap participating in a few experiments, he'd jumped on it. Hearing the man in his own mind now, he could never regret it. Even if the damn respirator on his face could never be removed.

" 'Picasso used to drive a tank. Was known for art-illery.' Sure you want me to keep translating?"

"Terrible, Sir."

"Fucking hell, Simon, that was bad."

A few of the men around them laughed or chuckled. None would look either officer in the eye though.

"I was trying to save you all." Soap said before taking his position back up and letting his men handle Evans.

They resumed their advance through the smoldering wood.

| welcome to my blog |

You can find my full-written works on ao3 under the name corkinavoid or click this link.

If you want to see more of my prompts and ideas on this blog, check #cork prompts hashtag. #cork adds is for any kinds of additions to someone else's ideas, and #cork writes is generally for everything concerning my writing.

You are free to use any of my prompts as you wish with any alterations or without them, just link/credit/tag me. I'd also be absolutely delighted if you decide to post it elsewhere and send me a link!

Other than that, here's some fun facts about me:

• neurodivergent but not a minor

• English is not my first language

• my favorite ships are Dead Tired and Anger Management, and I'm also deeply in love with Al Ghul Twins trope

| masterpost |

I'm only linking my series here, not all prompts.

Changeling AU: [part 1], [part 2], [part 3], [part 4], [part 5], [a fic "Danny! Wait, who's Danny?"], [part 6], [part 7]

Haunted Family AU: [part 1], [a fic "It takes three days to get adopted"], [a fic "A cat walks by herself, but so does a ghost"], [a fic "A new family, an old family, and a never ever happening family walk into a gala"], [part 5]

Mercenary Danny AU: [part 1], [a fic "I'll pay you ten times"], [a fic "I want to hire you"], [a fic "I'm asking you out"]

Multiverse Police/Good!GIW: [part 1], [part 2], [side notes], [part 3], [another part 1], [another part 2]

Fantasy Magic School AU: [part 1], [a fic 'Fiance to a Star'], check the tag # cork writes fantasy for more fun facts and moodboards

Fantasy Royal Fae AU: [part 1], [a fic 'Married to Winter']

Masters Mansion/Socialite Danny: [inspo], [part 1], [part 2], [part 3], [a fic 'Coronation'], [a fic 'There Are No Living Here']

John Constantine's Ghost Kids: [part 1], [part 2]

All the al Ghul Twins related posts: [one], [two], [three], [four], [five], [six], [seven]

👀?

UH OH! Pokémon TV is shutting down! It would be a shame if some guy on Tumblr shared a link to every season of AniPoke from Indigo Leauge to the last batch of episodes with Ash in it along with some movies, that would be a shame!

Edit: For some reason Netflix is removing the Journeys series…Yknow, *a series that’s an exclusive to its platform in the US*

I don’t wanna act holy-er than thou but uh reblog this even harder than before cause screw Netflix

Jason: how ya likin’ that comic, kiddo? Damian: I do not understand. Jason: what? It’s just a spider-man comic. What’s not to understand? Damian: why is Parker pursuing this red-haired woman, who does not seem to enjoy his company further than any other, rather than his friend, Osborn? Osborn has given multiple hints that he would prefer their relationship to go beyond platonic Jason: Jason: *glances over at Jon, who is reading a Daredevil comic on the other bed* Damian: should he not pursue Osborn, considering he is already aware that their relationship can withstand hardship? Friendship is a sturdy baseline for which romance can be built soon. And besides, Mary Jane is an un-compelling idiot with mediocre looks. Jason: Jason: this explains so much

"Stop hogging the ciggy"-

Scene from "earthmover" commissioned by the author of the fic <3

I played through all the Devil May Cry games- and one LOVE the series >:UUUUUU So perfect. And two- I immediately like amg Danny would fit with these cast of characters XDDDD so uh. I have an idea ;3 of Danny being brought into this world because Pariah Dark is deciding to draw power from his "home" to take over both realms. And Danny has to find a guy name Dante and beat Pariah. ;3 Danny's powers shifting to work more in devil may cry universe- maybe even hinting that perhaps he didn't die in that portal because his blood was not fully human ;3 OH And the sword- is actually Fright Knight's sword- Soul Shredder that he gains after defeating a fright knight that was forced back into servitude. Also think it be cool if he had a weapon from the reapers >:O- so a giant pair of scissor blades >w< (I've been simmering over this for a month- I even made a comic ;3) The Devil Trigger concepts are based from demon forms- from the reaper/ghost like demons- and then from nero's form too. So simmering uou. But I like to relate Danny to death because of his "ghostliness". Link to Comic:

Tumblr

Impy's Sad Obsessions

Here's a comic depicting a snippet of a story Idea I have. >w< Danny comes across Clockwork's lair, see's some visions of a past he wasn't

It’s nice to see siblings bonding 😌

Ok ok, HEAR ME OUT.

Y'know how Duke's supposed to have them light bendy power thingies?

Imagine Damian blackmailing him to accompany him on patrols so he can hide and mess around with the lights to make Robins' shadow ABSOLUTELY LARGE AND TERRIFYING.

I'm talking that scene with Mushu from Mulan when he's like "I'M YOUR ANCESTORS DRAGON" Type shadow play. (Damian just wants criminals to finally acknowledge him as intimidating and to stop calling him 'kid'.)

Thoughts?

omg XD damian SO would, you're absolutely right

jason: . . . and why are you going on patrol with damian?? aren't you our daytime hero?? duke: *unwilling to admit that he's going as a glorified prop* uh . . . . schedules are messed up 'cause of like . . . daylight . . . savings time jason: jason: seems legit

I have fallen into the rabbit hole of DP x DC ✋🙂‍↕️

Danny: haha I am dead yes this is very funny

Tim: *literal, intense flashbacks*

Dick: :DDD

Chapter seven of Wanted: Dead and Alive is live and it contains this ICONIC scene so like... Check it out if you would ;-;

Concept art by Ryan Church, of the Mandalorian, Din Djarin, in the cockpit of the Razor Crest as it is half filled with water from the ocean world of Trask. Image from The Mandalorian, Season 2, Episode 3, The Heiress. Calendar by DateWorks.

What if....

Grogu thought about all the things that he could do using the Force and then he thought about all the things he couldn’t do. He really wished that he could change some of those things. Like right now. This very moment. That should be a thing, right? After all, if you were climbing to higher ground to avoid being given a sea water bath, wouldn’t you wish that there was something you could do about it?

Of course, that’s not how any of it worked. You actually had to practice using the Force. You generally needed a Jedi Master or an experienced Jedi Knight, or even a really knowledgeable padawan to help you even figure out what you should do. You couldn’t just make things up as you went along. Which was a pity. 

Grogu didn’t the blame the Mandalorian. He didn’t blame the Frog Lady either. She needed to get her eggs to Trask, or her line would end. He didn’t want that to happen. It didn’t sound good. It didn’t sound right. It didn’t sound fair. 

Nope. He blamed Emperor Palpatine. If that guy had never been in power, well, the Jedi Temple on Coruscant would still be a Jedi Temple. Grogu would probably be someone’s padawan and Din Djarin would be doing whatever Mandalorians were meant to be doing. Probably bringing guys like Moff Gideon in cold. And he wouldn’t even be called Moff Gideon. Nope. He’d just be Gideon.

Imagine that. Gideon just being this guy who worked with data systems and sees his chance to steal a lot of credits from someone. Probably an orphanage given his general cruelty. The Old Republic figures it out immediately. Gideon is arrested and while he’s out on bail (whatever that is) he skips town. Then Din Djarin picks up a bounty fob for him and the guy is brought in cold. 

This time, no one gives Gideon a chance to run away and he’s locked up, under surveillance, wearing a uniform, the whole bantha. Gideon goes to trial, he’s found guilty because of course he is, he did it, and he’s taken to a place where he can just sit around and contemplate what he did and why it was wrong. 

Huh… so why would anyone steal from an orphanage? It’s not like they had a lot of credits laying around. Was it just because they didn’t know they needed to protect themselves from bad actors or because they didn’t have the funds to do it? Was it just a theft of convenience or was that the orphanage that Gideon had grown up in and this was his way of getting revenge on the people who didn’t love him? 

Uff! Grogu really needed to get a grip. Just because Gideon didn’t have a great childhood, that didn’t mean it was okay for him to be mean to other people. Grogu hadn’t had a perfect childhood by any stretch of the imagination. He was still a happy person. He still helped people when he could. He didn’t have to be mean to anyone. Except stormtroopers. 

Uff. Stormtroopers. Now there was another whole big group of people who wouldn’t have existed if Chancellor Palpatine hadn’t decided that he wanted to be something like Supreme Ruler of Everything He Could See and Everything He’d Been Told About. Those people, mostly humans, would have stayed on their home planets. They would have done the work they had always done. Grogu was pretty certain that none of that work included hitting small green Jedi younglings or trying to hurt their adopted dad, or chasing them all over the known galaxy. 

Nope. Those people would have built roads, protected folks from the local syndicates, and carried on the way the good people did on Chandrila or Alderaan. It’s not that Grogu thought that all of those people were good and law abiding. A bunch of them were probably like Moff Gideon. Creeps with a grudge against civil society. But the Jedi and the Mandalorians would help sort that out. As long as they stopped fighting with each other.

Uff. That was another thing that Grogu wished he could change, but he couldn’t entirely lay that on the former senator of Naboo. Mandalorians and Jedi had been fighting for millennia according to the history lessons he’d tried to stay awake through. It was usually over something like, the Mand’alor wanted to add a new planet to the ever expanding Mandalorian protectorate and the Jedi, often at the request of the planet’s leaders, worked to stop them. 

It drained both groups of precious time and resources and maybe that’s what the Sith affiliated had wanted the whole time. To weaken the two groups that could actually stop them. The groups that had actually stopped them, time after time. Huh. So maybe it was all the Sith’s fault? No Sith, no Emperor Palpatine, no Moff Gideon, no Din Djarin rescuing Grogu from the Nikto gang, because he was still on Coruscant. 

Of course, Din Djarin wouldn’t have been there anyway, because he would still be on Aq Vetina because there wouldn't have been a Separatist  attack and the Mandalorians would never had to rescue him. Hmm. Which meant that he wouldn’t have been the bounty hunter to collect Gideon. Someone else would have done that. But who? Not Boba Fett. He might not even exist. No Sith, no Clone Army because no Separatists.  

What about Fennec? Or Peli? Would Kuiil have ever been on Arvala-7?! 

Dank Farrik! 

Grogu knew you had to be careful about what you wished for. Sometimes you lost things you didn’t even know you needed.