"Trans Men Don't Suffer As Much Because They're Always Forgotten And Erased. So They Don't Have It As

So much pointless LGBT+ discourse could be avoided if people just stopped assuming they knew everything about the oppression OTHER identities face.

For example, if you’re nonbinary, you can absolutely talk about the struggles you’ve dealt with as a nonbinary person, and speak of the issues your community is dealing with. But if you’re not transfem, it’s not your place to comment on how transfem issues compare to your own.

And if you’re a trans woman, you should absolutely not be talking about how trans men “have it easier” or what transitioning is like for them, because you fundamentally don’t know! You’re not a trans man!

And it goes both ways- trans men shouldn’t speak on trans women’s issues! Binary trans people shouldn’t claim to know what it’s like to be nonbinary!

It even hearkens back to older varieties of discourse, like ace discourse. You saw non-ace people talking about what THEY thought being ace was like, because they believed that being LGBT+ themselves made them the arbiters of oppression.

Or hell, gay men claiming that lesbians had it sooo easy compared to what they went through! Like, man, how the hell would you know, you're not a lesbian!

Just. Stop! Stop talking about the assumed experiences of other people! Being one flavor of queer doesn’t mean you’re the expert on ALL queer oppression! LISTEN to other people, stop talking over them!

I think if people accepted this, 90% of stupid online identity discourse would vanish overnight.

Y’know how trans women have identified a phenomenon where, even though they are women and may have known themselves to be women for quite a while, accepting cis women will treat them as though they are guests to womanhood, like lesser women, or like they’re new to it, or as though they could not possibly already know what it’s like being a woman?

Some trans people do that at trans men with transness. Trans men aren’t lesser trans or guests in transness who don’t understand what it’s like to be trans.

I'm just gonna say it: people using the term "transandrobros" gives me the exact same vibe as people saying "feminazis".

the fact a lot of trfs are MLs is further proof Marxist-Leninists are just fascists trying to redirect socialist efforts away from destroying the bourgeoisie

What I've noticed about transmasc specific slurs is that they usually go into one of two categories.

"Eww, your body is gross."

examples: zippertits, shrimpdick, pooner, mangina, tranny voice

They are all derived either from specifically trans bodily features (top and bottom surgery, HRT-induced voice changes) or presumed genitals (the assumption of a vulva, in an attempt to invoke dysphoria).

2. "You're just an attention-seeking crybaby."

examples: theyfab, hefab, birthday boy, Aiden*, fakeboi, transandrodork*, transandro*

They are all derived from something being just play-pretend. [Pronoun]fabs are pretending females that are not really trans and only play with pronouns, birthday boys want attention for their fake problems, Aidens are annoying teenagers with dramatic fake names, fakebois are... well, fake boys, transandrodorks and transandros are foolish confused/malicious boys/girls (both depend on the speaker's level of transphobia) who discourse about fake oppression.

(*I don't think these are slurs *per se.* They're too discourse-specific. I've only included them because they might be used in the same breath, both with the actual slurs as a tool of mockery. I personally cannot decide whether "Aiden" can be earnestly called a slur either, but I think that as a marginalized identity-specific mockery terms this post should be inclusive of all three of them.)

And both remind me very closely of the pattern that bullies use in school. Sexualizing you (and implying that you're both sexual and disgusting, you're characterized by your genitals or by your chest, and it's gross to the speaker), or taking something that you enjoy and identify with (in this case your pronouns, your name, your opinion in an online discourse) and turning it as a personalized insult to show you that it's ridiculous, and in some sense also appaling, that you would even choose to associate with that thing. You're no longer allowed to be seen as a complex person. You're the he/they. You're "silly name" guy. You're the guy who unironically used the word transandrophobia, you're a transandro now. (Which I have seen leveled against transfems who agree with the transandrophobia theory, which I find extremely gross, since even though I know deep inside that it's just a mocking shortening of the word "transandrophobia," you're still calling her an -andro. Which she isn't. That's a woman/transfem nonbinary.) It's quietly dehumanizing in a way that you cannot really protest, because at the same time it gives the perpetrators enough deniability to claim that you're overreacting, that they're just being playful, and that since they're not calling you any of the REAL slurs, you should be actually ashamed of feeling hurt when they mock you instead of engaging with you on an earnest level. That's all. That's the post.

Wait. I lied.

That's not all.

Important disclaimer! This post is not about transfems. Sure there are transfems that gleefully use the words I'm complaining about. A mean girl is a mean girl, trans-inclusive. However, that is a teeny tiny droplet in the actual user-base of the slurs (and baby slurlets, if you will), cis transphobes and self-loathing filled 4chan transmascs. Just like transmascs don't have a unique propensity for transmisogyny, even though they can perpetrate it and sometimes do, transfems do not have any special inclination towards transandrophobia. Quite the opposite, actually - historically and even now, some of the loudest and most staunch allies of either of the groups were and will be members of the other.

i’m starting a new ideology called poonerism that’s all about how trans men and transmascs are the most oppressed people in the whole world and other trans people but especially trans people amab are so so privileged over us and barely feel transphobia compared to us so literally anything we say or do to them is punching up. we’re called poonies and will exclusively identify ourselves and our beliefs that way but NOBODY besides us is allowed to say that word EVER because it’s a SLUR and if you say it you’re being transphobic towards us and admitting you think there’s an evil underground network of scary abusive trans men trying to take over the world. because I said so.

/satire. you know what about.

trying so hard not to notice how 90% of trans positivity posts on this website exclude nonbinary people

whenever a bigot says they do not trust a minority because one of them hurt them there will be someone who isn't part of that minority who says something like "well they never hurt me or made me feel bad!"

and I understand where this comes from, I understand that it's trying to form allyship with said minority and tell the bigot that not everyone is bad

but it really feels like conditional acceptance

I've seen some shit in my years, I've seen lesbian radfems, gay men tehms, trans women who try to trigger trans men on purpose and trans men who try to trigger trans women right back, aro and ace separatists, the list goes on and on (and this is just in the queer community the stuff I've seen in the disabled community is even worse)

and absolutely none of this has ever made me go "well this minority must then be filled with evil people who deserve to feel bad, or do not deserve to be talking about their oppression"

minorities are composed of human beings and as human beings we aren't perfect all the time. and I understand allies that want to tell bigots that we aren't all bad. but simply saying "well *I* never got treated badly by this group" isn't actually gonna make any bigot change their mind. and please, don't change your mind if one person of said group *does* treat you badly

The "read another book" crowd when you suggest that maaaaybe whipping girl doesn't hold up all that well in light of the author's endorsement of trans radical feminism: