𝐀𝐔𝐆𝐔𝐒𝐓. | 𝐗𝐈𝐀𝐎

— when your greatest love throws itself at you at a time you’re not meant for it, do you risk it all, or keep your peace?

content/warnings: romance, angst, best friends to lovers, mutual pining, unrequited love (misunderstanding), emotional cheating, has a timeskip, modern au. unedited.

Deep into August, the sun extends its arms over the horizon to caress your bare legs. Your arm is thrown across your face to shield you from the sun, the narrowed eyes contrasting with the equally blinding grin you wore. Toes curled into the sand, you buried yourself deeper into the lap of the person as grim as the dark shades he wore, a handsome frown visible on his agitated face. You couldn’t help but smile wider and reach up to pluck the shades from his nose, appreciating that he accompanied you to the beach despite being uncomfortable with crowds.

“Xiao?”

“What?”

“Am I deep winter or smooth spring?”

Brows furrowing, he licks his lower lip before closing his book, the tip of his index finger squeezed between the pages. Sweat trickled down his skin, sure to have the ink staining his damp fingers until the words slowly tattooed itself onto his skin. Sitting up, you steal his free hand into yours and watch as Xiao’s gaze zeroes on your fingers looping through his, cheeks tinted red either from the heat or your gesture.

“You’re summer August, and I’m deep winter,” he answers vaguely, retracting his hand before shielding his eyes with the shades sat at your lap. “Does that answer your question?”

“It does, but I have another one. Why am I summer August?”

Xiao’s nose scrunched–a rather adorable sight, if you were asked. “You’re warm. If the color yellow or orange became a person, it would’ve been you. Bright. Radiant,” the concentration on his face mirrored the ones he wore when working. You wish he’d relax a little bit on your rare day off’s–the sun is out, children are laughing around, and there’s a nearby shaved ice stand; everything is beautiful in this moment but you can’t find it in yourself to reprimand Xiao’s stoicism.

There’s warmth pooling in his eyes, one you only witness when you’re in his presence.

It makes your heart skip a beat until it comes tumbling down the hill of unrealistic thoughts over the hopeless desire that maybe one day, he’ll like you back.

“Stop looking at me like that.”

Smirking, you wiggle your eyebrows and tease him. “Like what?”

“I don’t know! You look weird, like... like–”

“Like I want to absolutely kiss you right now?” Because you did. His cute little hat sits on top of his head so endearingly that you so badly want to take a picture. You want to stare at him a little longer, admire the redness spreading from his nose to his cheeks, watch the way his lower lip curls into his mouth each time he gets flustered, and burn the image of him at the back of your brain.

Xiao, your best friend since the first August of university, and the man you’ve always foolishly pined for despite his constant rejection.

Still, you trail around him like a lost puppy, ignoring his confused yet shy stares each time you announced your presence, and basically decided that you were now going to be his friend, which is the best decision of your life. Xiao isn’t someone you needed to get out of his shell; you had to learn how to enjoy the silence of his life, and respect it.

It’s entirely contradictory to your summer August bumbling self. You’re clumsy where he is always ready to catch you. He’s firm when you are swaying side to side after enjoying too many mimosas from the beach bar. He’s quiet and forever gentle in tucking you under the covers before pressing a kiss to your forehead, and you think of how his lips are summer August hot when it comes to contact with your skin. You think about the young man who sees himself as deep winter, clad in the knitted sweaters you had given him as a gift walk through your door, and hesitantly looks around as if he hasn’t been here a hundred times before.

Where he is deep winter and stiff as a rock when you dance with him under the Christmas lights, you’re the bonfire easing him to relax his muscles, and just enjoy the beat. “We look silly dancing,” he says, then follows up on how he doesn’t like being less of what he deems proper.

But he dances. He twirls you and smiles whilst you laugh, cuts the cheese and swirls the wine in the glass while you drunkenly send him flying kisses – you’re as passionate as he is emotionally numb, and he is the muted version of all your raging emotions.

Whereas you are the definite yes, he is the hesitant no.

“Xiao.”

“If you’re going to tell me you love me again, thank you. I love you too, but you’ve been babbling it non-stop for the entire night. I think I get your point.”

“Do you?” you giggle, mouth hid behind your hand before you grow more serious, head tilted to the side. “Do you truly? If I said I love you right now, and I’ve always been in love with you, are you still going to reject me?”

Xiao’s frown deepens even more. “There’s nothing to be loved about me.” “There’s plenty.”

“Maybe that’s just you,” he shrugs nonchalantly, “The familiarity of having me around might be confusing you. We’re best friends, but that’s all there is. I don’t really see any logical reason for you to develop such deep, sincere feelings for me when I’m not even an ideal lover, so if I were to reject you, it’s not because I don’t want you. A relationship with me would just ruin our friendship, and...”

“Complicate things?”

“Complicate things, yeah.”

“But would you let me love you?”

He doesn’t respond right away. He mulls over it–you can tell by the slight pinch of his brow, the way his back droops down as he stares at the ground as if to ask himself if he’s even worthy of the affection you badly wanted to give him. The only problem is he doesn’t see this. Not just with you, but with everyone else. Xiao is deep winter; reclusive, cold, unaffectionate. It’s impossible for him to see himself the way you do.

“I think you’re drunk, so I don’t take you seriously,” is his response after several beats, hooking his arms under your armpits to guide you back into your room. “Sleep it out. Then we’ll talk.”

You never have that talk. The unspoken words hang like the mistletoe in the air which Xiao deliberately ignores. Head hung low, lips pursed and pale as if locks held back the truth he wished to convey and begged to set free. But Xiao was the living epitome of self restraint–he quietly slithers next to you in bed instead when he thinks you’re asleep, unaware that you’ve steadied your breathing through the drunken haze–and says nothing else.

No I love you’s like you wish to hear.

But there goes his face slowly moving next to yours, his lips pressed at the top of your hair as his gentle hands reach for the blanket to cover your chest. Arms snaking through your waist to hold you close when close is not close enough, and the space does nothing but grow wider the harder your heart yearns, you begin to close your eyes.

This moment will not last. Moments are called such for they are fleeting and experienced shortly, yet lives on forever in faulty memories that eventually fades away. So you clutch it and engrave it to your bone–the shape of his body next to yours, the foolish hopes tying you to a future where it couldn’t exist–and desperately hope that you get to keep at least this minute where you feel his heart caged with yours.

And when his side of the bed (your bed, truthfully, but he’ll always have a place next to you) grows cold in the middle of the night, and his shoes disappears besides yours on the porch, the true winter begins and August ebbs away.

The ice melts.

Not a peep could be heard in the deep winter. There’s nothing but warmth emanating from the remnants of his vulnerability, which for once, you liked to believe he also feels the same way even when he’s not yours.

You believe people will always have that love which never comes for them no matter how hard you chase for it. You could go to the ends of the earth, bang on someone’s door, go down on your knees and make promises of the happiness you can ensure, but all is useless when the house is empty. There is nobody to open the door. No one to welcome you when you walk through the space, or arms to fall into after a long day. The lavatory would be too spacious for a single person when it could fit two pairs of hips standing next to each other as you brush your teeth together.

But there is Thoma, and the house has never been more brightly lit than you’ve ever seen it. It doesn’t have to be Christmas deep in winter when fairy lights are strewn everywhere, giving a magical aura to an even more stunning home decorated by framed photographs of you and him on walls like you were his proudest memory. And you are.

From the moment you’ve met Thoma, it’s been summer all year throughout. His kisses are heated as they are honey-like. The words he spoke are like poetry blotted in brown paper with the promise of a lip stain on a napkin corner. He is perfect and real, and loves you more than you could ever imagine yourself to be loved, and you are getting married.

Wedding preparations, amidst its chaos and stress inducing events, felt fulfilling. You and Thoma would be occupied day and night planning things to perfection, followed by a kiss on the cheek to reassure you nothing had to be extravagant if you wouldn’t prefer it. You’re already perfect, your fiancé would whisper between exchanged breaths, there’s nothing you need to worry about. But his efforts leave the opposite effect when your fingers land on a certain invitation printed with a name that has been echoing in your head for years.

Cruel as it may be, you begin to wonder if you’ve fully mourned the loss of someone who has never been yours.

“Wow. You’re getting married.”

“Yeah, I am.

Before you, your best friend, Xiao sits. He’s clad in a suit, all firm lines smoothed into perfection with every move of his muscle as he leant back in his seat.

You couldn’t fathom the emotions flittering through his handsome face. A pinch of the brow, his lower lip jutting out, index finger anxiously tapping at the table as if to call your attention to the empty finger just a space beside it. And truly, you’re as cruel as you can be, hiding your uncontrollable smile by ducking your chin at the thought he’s been unmarried this entire time.

“I… I didn’t know you were dating, but congratulations. I’m happy for you.”

“Thank you,” you respond almost robotically, since everyone seems to repeat the same phrase over and over again until it got tiring. “I would really love if you were our best man. Thoma’s best friend, Ayato, was the original best man but I requested if it could be you instead since the maid of honors are already Thoma and Ayato’s friends. It would’ve been nice if I could have you there.”

Xiao offers a tight lipped smile. The years that have passed start to show in his face, yet his beauty only sinks deeper within his bones. Shoulders broad enough with the strength to carry the entire world from it, lips thin and perhaps just as soft as you envision if you’ve only ever kissed it – seeing him again after how long felt surreal. Unfathomable. So much has changed, yet you still stayed the same. Fighting the urge to giggle like a schoolgirl whenever your crush was in your presence, and him being completely oblivious to your affection.

The only difference now is that you’re to be wed, and for the first time ever, Xiao looks mildly displeased at something you say. “Sure, of course. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

Your gut tells you he doesn’t mean it. Thoma’s face disappears for a moment at the back of your mind, and your belly churns as you lean forward. You shouldn’t be prying into other people’s lives when you’re about to spend your entire one with another. It’s common sense, yet you’ve not always been the brightest when you smile up at him fondly again, heart aching beneath your clothes it became difficult to breathe.

All because your silly heart still longs for the one person you can’t have.

“So how have you been?” is nothing but a silly excuse of tell me everything I missed. Let’s condense the years into this few minutes the universe allows us before the time stops ticking and we need to part our separate ways again. Tell me, from the slightest detail of your most mundane day, and I’ll listen.

“The same as always. I’m doing just fine.”

“Are you happy?”

“I’m content.”

“Those two things are different.”

Xiao shakes his head in amusement; you still haven’t gotten rid of that stubborn head sititng between your shoulders. “Not much has changed about me or my life, Y/N. There’s nothing exciting to tell,” one of his shoulders lift in a shrug before he gestures to you, “You’re getting married, though, and I didn’t hear or see this coming at all. It sounds like you have more stories to tell than I do.”

“I’ve always tried telling you about Thoma, you were just… busy. All the time.”

You were never there, but Thoma was. Resentment and hurt leaves a bitter taste in your tongue that Thoma’s sugary lips could barely coat them between kisses.

“We’re grown adults. We both have jobs. You understand my line of work is demanding and I can’t give you dating advice whenever you need it. Not to mention, I’m not the best to approach for those kinds of things considering my lack of experience.”

“I wasn’t going to ask for that, I just wanted to talk to my best friend.”

Xiao takes a moment to study your face. Pursing his lips, he gives you an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry. I should’ve made more time for you.”

Silence hangs in the air. So much time has been wasted–you’ve graduated university, established your own careers, and have had your fair share of meeting and leaving people who come into your life. Xiao, on the other hand, simply drifted off into thin air. Hanging out at the beach no longer seemed like a possible occurrence when it’s been tradition, and you eventually had to get used to being left on delivered. There’s a magnanimous amount of gaps left in between these spaces, and you want to be greedy. You want him to be in every page you’ve written, every ending you’ve created, if only he was there. But he wasn’t. Thoma was, and he’s colored your canvas in colors you haven’t seen before when your summer August only knew the silence of deep winter.

The what if’s linger deep until it settles onto the blank snow, blanketing you both with the thoughts of what could’ve been if Xiao had only replied to your texts one by one.

Would Thoma have remained in your life? Would you be getting married to someone you never expected to meet? Would you have slowly forgotten what the beach looked like since there’s no point digging your feet in the sand when you didn’t have Xiao who constantly nagged you to stay still?

All these rhetorical questions, and Xiao still manages to take you aback when he chuckles to himself, the sound dry and exhausted. The shoulders who carried the weight of the world sags in defeat. “You know, it’s funny. I always imagined I’d be marrying you.”

The world crashes. The café you met up in goes silent, the people moving about rooting frozen from their spots yet your tea goes cold from the forever of beats that passed between words.

“What?”

“I remember you were always teasing me when we were younger. I thought it was cute, and I often dreamed that we’d end up together, but now you’re getting married and it’s far from everything I expected,” glancing at your engagement ring and the invitation letter sitting hauntingly between you, Xiao falters in his words. “But… I am happy for you. I can’t be happier now that I know you’re with a good man.”

“What… how… how can you say that, Xiao? Do you really have no idea how much I love you?”

“What do you mean?” he laughs nervously, “You were messing around back then.”

“I wasn’t. I meant every word I said.”

Shrugging, he looks down at his coffee with a frown so forlorn he embodies deep winter with not a warm body around to keep him company. “None of it matters now, does it? You are to be married, and I’ll go back to living my life once this all passes.”

“Passes? You think everything is that easy?”

“I don’t know what you want me to do, Y/N. Our feelings are exactly just that; feelings. They’ll come and go,” Xiao reassures, but it sounds like he’s trying to convince himself more than you. “You’re about to be married, and I want nothing but for you to be happy. Thoma is the kindest man you’ll ever meet so you’ll live a great life. You don’t need to look at me like that–you haven’t lost a thing.”

You haven’t lost a thing.

Not at all. How could you ever lose something you were never quite certain was yours to begin with? But now, it rested at the palm of your hands. Curled up like an innocent creature soaking up the warmth of your fingers until you’d been bled dry and iced to the bone, the rhythm of your heart bringing back to life what had never been dead, rather frozen in time.

“If it’s meant to pass, then why have I been in love with you for as long as I can remember?”

“Hey, welcome home!” Thoma greets the moment you enter your shared apartment, helping you get rid of your boots and hang your coat while you stare at the ground numbly. “How was your meeting with your friend? Did everything go well? Come tell me all about it through dinner–I made your favorite.”

You lean against the wall for support.

Your life is perfect. Every sane person would die for what you have: a loving, handsome fiancé who comes home early everyday to cook the food he knows you like, a cozy place to spend forever in, the scent of almond tofu screaming home and comfort. And then there’s Thoma, eagerly setting up the table and taking a chair for you when he notices you standing idly by the doorway, his smile creasing into worry as you swallow audibly.

He could tell from just one look of your face that tonight isn’t as good as he hoped. “Thoma…”

He’s beside you in the blink of an eye. Wrapping you in his strong arms, your fiancé rubs his hand up and down your back, easing you as the tears release like a broken damn. “Oh, darling, what’s wrong?”

“Thoma, there’s something I need to tell you,” you pull back, using the hem of your sleeves to wipe away the tears. He’s so beautiful, so kind that you couldn’t have possibly have the heart to hurt him. But your heart belongs to someone else, and you can’t lie to an honest man. He deserves the truth and the truth you tell, nails digging at your thighs as each word that comes out of your mouth drives a knife deeper into his soul. You tell him how you’ve never moved on from a summer love, from an eternal longing, to this craving of a person who left a hole in your heart in which only they could fill.

And you can’t do anything except let Thoma take a step back from you, furiously blinking back the tears that threatened to push through. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Thoma sniffles. “Hey,” he tilts your chin up, warm eyes glistening.

The sight of him, so forgiving even without his words, still so gentle in the way he caresses your cheeks like you hadn’t just stomped on his heart a thousand times nearly made you question if you’re doing the right thing. You wait for it, the hesitance, the slight skip of your heart signaling when a bad decision was to be made, yet there’s none. Nothing but silence lingers at the back of your mind now that Xiao’s face lingers as it has been since the day you learn to love a little more and hope a little less.

“I’ve always known.”

“What…?”

“At the back of my mind, I always knew there must be someone else. You always felt so… distant. You didn’t quite see me in the times you looked at me, and I wondered if you were imagining someone else before you. I won’t deny that I’m hurt and it would take me a while to recover, but you’ve seen me, Y/N,” delicately, he slips off the ring off his fingers and tucks it into your palm, hidden and stored away for eternity like a promise meant to be broken. “This is the first time you’ve let me meet you as you are. So go to him; I won’t hold you back.”

Bringing your fist to your lips, you attempt to muffle your sobs. “I-if you knew the whole time, why did you p-propose to me?”

Thoma smiles, his eyes crinkling. “I love you, and I hoped you felt the same.” “But what about us?”

“Don’t worry about that anymore,” he rises to his feet, his car keys spinning around his finger as he turns to you with a bright, wistful grin. “What are you waiting for? Let’s go find your best friend.”

He doesn’t need to say more before you’re reaching for his outstretched hand, the gesture as familiar as breathing and your hand fitting perfectly with Thoma’s. You hold on extra tight when you beam up at him, both from disappointment and excitement, the both of you aware this is going to be the last time you’d ever hold each other this close. So you hold onto him for dear life as he opens the car door for you, revs the engine like you’re running out of time and perhaps you are, because Xiao always seems to be slipping through your fingertips and you’re not deep August under the blazing heat of the sun anymore.

It’s deep winter. The snow is getting thicker with each passing minute, the road covered in white until the snow begins to flake in your lashes when you step out the car.

Xiao lingers outside his apartment, his breath coming out in small, heated puffs with his brows knitted in thought. When he hears the crunching of your boots, his head spins to your direction, eyes wide at the breathless figure of you. “You,” he breathes out, blinking aghast as Thoma leans over the car door with a supportive smile. He pieces two and two together, and laughs in disbelief. “You’re insane–”

“Xiao, I’m in love with you. I always have been, but now I don’t want to let you go now that I know what you feel. You… you’re all I ever wanted. I couldn’t possibly imagine what my life would be like without you.”

His lips thin. It’s enough to make your heart lose hope again–you’ve seen this scenario happen to you before, how he shuts himself off the world after convincing himself he’s not worth the affection and love people give him. He calls himself names, degrades himself into a smaller, lesser being who’d be best off alone before people realize he’s not as great as people make it out to be. The solace of never seeing people frown at him has been the only way he’s ever known life, but you ever so lovingly smiling up at him since the day you met makes him feel this is a risk he can take.

Maybe now, it’s time to let his walls crumble and let the ice thaw, to let deep August bring warmth to his life.

Studying your ring-free finger, Xiao lets his shoulders drop before crushing you into an embrace. “You’re too damn stubborn, you know that?” he rasps into your ear, and you wrap your arms around him, the biting cold making it painful to cry–the world’s own way of telling you there should be no gloom on the day you’ve always been waiting for. “You forced your way into my heart and I don’t think I can ever close it for you again.”

“Don’t you dare,” you sniffle into his shoulders, “I’m staying with you until you don’t want me anymore.”

Xiao knows he’s never said it before. Every night, he tosses and turns in his sleep, replaying the memories of his youth where he rejects your not-so subtle confessions of love. Even as he grows older and his eyes grow more weary, there’s still that young man inside of him hoping it’s real. He runs away and hides in little corners in hopes he’d get you off his mind. Too afraid of the hurt love might bring, and this is the first time he can confidently say, “I’m not going anywhere. I stay right where you are.”

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qnqwr

2 months ago

BY THE SEA, SATOSUGU

you and your two husbands decided to retire from the jujutsu world together and live by the beach, with your family. [ always the bridesmaids never the bride alternative ending ]

⠀ ⠀⠀You heard about what happened to one of your lovers, Geto Suguru — what he did to the villagers, how he killed them en masse. You don't believe what Yaga says, you don't believe what the higher-ups scream at you — saying that the current Geto Suguru is a criminal and a murderer. You covered your ears so tightly that you didn't hear anything — not even Satoru's cries every night in the silence of the night.

⠀ ⠀⠀You ran, kept running and running, carrying your feet to Suguru. You have to see him, you have to hear everything from him. He should say that everything was just a misunderstanding and he didn't do anything and looking at you with his purple eyes, he should tell you that everything was just a misunderstanding — you hope. You keep running no matter your heart starts to deflate and constrict, you can't stop running, too afraid that if you stop then everything will come true. You don't care about the heat of the sun piercing your skin.

⠀ ⠀⠀You arrive at a temple that is familiar to you. Seeing the building makes it even more impossible to breathe. You pushed open the large wooden door with force. Your steps stopped when you saw a black-haired man standing not far from you with a gojo-kesa covering his tall body. You'd recognize that back anywhere, you'd recognize his scent anywhere.

⠀ ⠀⠀ Geto Suguru.

⠀ ⠀⠀Suguru turned around and he smiled when his eyes caught your figure. He smiled warmly until his eyes formed a thin curve. He opened his arms wide, welcoming you with all his heart. You didn't have a second thought to run up to him and jump into his arms— so hard that his body stumbled back a little and like honey, he chuckled sweetly. “Easy there, princess,” he whispered into your hair, so very softly. One hand hugged your back while the other stroked your hair.

⠀ ⠀⠀Suguru closed his eyes and took a deep breath— trying to fill his lungs with your scent. Maybe this was the last time he could hold you this close, he knew. He buried his face in the crook of your neck, pressing his nose there. He feels short of breath, but he feels like he still has to breathe, keep taking in breaths until all he can think about is your scent, you. He forced his body to remember your smell, every inch of his body, so he wouldn't forget. Hopefully, if he doesn't have you by his side anymore, he can still feel your scent, he has to remember your scent. So that he is fine being away from you. So that he doesn't run towards you when he feels he can no longer smell your scent.

⠀ ⠀⠀Suguru pulled his face away from you as he listened to the sad sounds that came out of your sweet mouth. Your stomach and his stomach were still touching beneath the cloth you were wearing when he lifted your lowered face— too sad to look at him. Suguru looked at your face and he realized a few things. He could see the eye bags hanging ugly under your beautiful eyes, there were slight wrinkles on your forehead, and you looked very, very tired. And he couldn't deny your rosy cheeks were wet with tears that didn't seem to stop.

⠀ ⠀⠀“Oh, my love,” he whispered.

⠀ ⠀⠀He felt his heart break when he saw you pull your lips straight, letting out a sob that was forcing its way out, for him to hear. Suguru stroked your wet cheeks with his thumb. “You left, I — I was gone for one day and.. and you're not there, you— why?— how?” you stammered, still reluctant to look at the man in front of you. Suguru chuckled, he couldn't help it, you looked so cute right now. Hearing the chuckle of the man in front of you made you suddenly raise your head, looking at him. “That's not funny!” you said and hit Suguru's arm which made the man laugh again.

⠀ ⠀⠀“I'm sorry, my love, you just look so cute right now,” he said, smiling and hugging you again. You hugged his waist and pressed your cheek against his chest. “They called you a criminal and you are a mass murderer who killed a whole village,” you said which made Suguru smile bitterly and sigh softly. He kissed her head for a long time before saying, “I'm sorry, my love, I'm doing a bad thing,” he said quietly. Your tears broke even more as you began to be forced to accept that everything was true and Suguru was a criminal now. So you buried your face back into his neck, crying loudly.

⠀ ⠀⠀Suguru tightened his arms around your small body and pressed his cheek against your head. He lets you cry your heart out. That's all he usually does. “I'm so sorry,” Suguru whispered. It hurt him, hearing how sad your crying sounded. It made him break into pieces, knowing your heartbroken cries were now he is the cause. But again, he couldn't do anything. “Why?” You looked at him with your wet face and red eyes. Suguru cupped one of your cheeks while one of his hands still hugged your waist.

⠀ ⠀⠀“I'm sorry, my love, I just can't wear a heartfelt smile in this world, not anymore,” he said— shaking his head slowly and smiling faintly. “You don't have to, just talk to me, to Satoru, come back to us, I'll listen, we'll listen,” you say, almost pleading. “Stop this, and come back, let's run away and live together, I'll convince Satoru. Let's get out of this world, we can live at the beach house far away from here and make a family, and have cats, like you always wanted, hm?” You smiled, even though your eyes continued to shed tears. You took forceful steps to get closer as if there was some distance you still had to cover from your body which was already attached to Suguru.

⠀ ⠀⠀Suguru was silent.

⠀ ⠀⠀Oh, how he always dreamed of starting a family with you and Satoru, living in a house by the beach and having several cats. He wanted it so much that his heart screamed about it. Leaving the world of Jujutsu and living as a normal person in general.

⠀ ⠀⠀“Let's live like a normal person, without curses, nothing,” you said. Your soft voice called out to him, making him flutter and he could feel the warmth slowly embracing his long-cold body. “That sounds perfect,” he whispered and smiled—a genuine smile. He grabbed both of your hands, clenching them in his fists. He kissed your hand several times with his purple eyes continuing to stare at you. Full of tenderness, full of affection.

⠀ ⠀⠀He kissed your forehead warmly, “Let's do it.”

⠀ ⠀⠀“Geto-sama..”

⠀ ⠀⠀You hear a child's voice. Turning your head to where the voice came from, you saw two little girls—one with dark brown hair with a green hoodie and the other with light brown hair with a yellow hoodie, they had short hair in the same style. When you saw the two little children you realized something, they were the little children your lover saved— Mimiko and Nanako Hasaba. You turned your gaze to Suguru who was already looking at you with a small smile. “Are they..?” Suguru nodded.

⠀ ⠀⠀You let go of your arms around Suguru's neck and stepped over to the two little girls. They seemed hesitant when you stepped forward, as they looked at Suguru as if asking for reassurance, to which the black-haired nodded. You crouched in front of them, holding each of their cheeks which made them lean into your warm touch. Seeing this, your tears broke out again, you couldn't help it. Your head fell to your bent knees, your forehead pressed there with your hands holding the two little girls' cheeks. They looked at you with confusion and curiosity, not understanding why you were crying so bitterly.

⠀ ⠀⠀They looked at you and Suguru who was still standing behind you alternately. Hesitantly their small hands touched your shoulders before stepping closer and hugging you—both of their chins resting on your shoulders. You greeted them by wrapping your arms around their waist, pulling them closer. Suguru just smiled faintly, sadly. All he could hear were your sobs, cutting into his skin every second. You remained in your position for a few moments before the small arms holding you were replaced by Suguru's muscular arms.

⠀ ⠀⠀He put one arm around your back—helping you to stand. “Oh, my love. What a beautiful thing you are,” He said softly, and who knows how many times he cupped your cheeks and ran his two thumbs across your cheeks. Suguru always thought that you were very beautiful, the most beautiful girl he had ever seen, even when you were crying ugly like now. He loves how your cheeks look red when you cry too much. Too pure and innocent, making him want to continue protecting you.

⠀ ⠀⠀He likes to call you 'my love'. He says that you are his love, you are millions of feelings in one feeling. You are like a rainbow in the storm. He said that his love was given out for you and Satoru, love you both so full that there was no love left for him to the world. People say that a lifetime is very long, but Suguru can trade anything so he can get that lifetime. Even though he had to become a criminal and commit a mass murder. And he would gladly do it many times, if, in the end, he could spend all his breath with you and Satoru.

⠀ ⠀⠀Suguru pressed his lips to yours— kissing them gently, typical of Geto Suguru. He is full of tenderness. He kissed you, gently but you could feel his misery, how several times he had to pause between kisses just to swallow his sobs. He pressed his forehead against yours after pulling his lips away, but you could still feel his soft breath on your face.

⠀ ⠀⠀“Let's do that, you, me, Satoru and the kids. Let's run away where no-one knows our name yet, where we can camp out in the open and see the stars, where we can tell each other hopes and dreams without feeling scared, it will be hopeless. We'll own nothing more than we need,” he said quietly as you watched Suguru's tears fall down one cheek. You nodded, “Let's run away together.”

⠀ ⠀⠀Suguru smiled faintly.

⠀ ⠀⠀“Would you do me a favor before that?”

⠀ ⠀⠀“What is it?”

⠀ ⠀⠀Suguru moved his forehead away from yours to look at you more clearly. One arm wrapped around your waist as he tucked your hair behind your left ear. “Can you wait for me, my love?” he asked. You were silent for a moment and lost in his purple eyes— you found nothing but calm and confidence. So you nodded, making Suguru's thin smile widen slightly. “Stay with Satoru while I make a better world for us, so I can give you the world that I know you deserve, would you do that for me, my love?”

⠀ ⠀⠀“Wait for me?”

⠀ ⠀⠀ “Okay,” you whispered. “I'll wait for you.”

— 2009

⠀ ⠀⠀You blinked several times, and when your vision cleared, the first thing you saw was the ceiling of your room. Small white stars with blue, purple, white, and pink lights filled the ceiling, resembling the Aurora Borealis. You glanced to the left and right, noticing the empty spaces beside you. The spots where Satoru and Suguru usually lay were vacant. You touched both sides with your hands—they were cold. A sigh escaped your pink lips as the loneliness washed over you.

⠀ ⠀⠀“The candle!— Oops!”

⠀ ⠀⠀“Satoru!!”

⠀ ⠀⠀“God! you're useless, I told you we should only ask Geto-sama— aw!”

⠀ ⠀⠀“Hey!”

⠀ ⠀⠀“Megumi, that's not nice—”

⠀ ⠀⠀You sat up in bed and swung your legs over the side. As you sat there, you furrowed your brow and raised your eyebrows in confusion upon hearing the sound of whispers, almost like shouting, coming from outside your room. The strange mixture of hushed tones and urgency made you strain to listen more closely, trying to catch what was being said.

⠀ ⠀⠀“Quiet down, you'll wake her up,” Suguru's voice suddenly cut through the whispers. Confusion gripped you as you wondered what your two lovers were up to. “Guys?” you called out from inside the room. Almost simultaneously, you heard a loud curse from Satoru, followed by what sounded like a forceful punch from Suguru. You knew Suguru didn't tolerate Satoru's swearing, especially not in front of the four little ones.

⠀ ⠀⠀“Is everything alright? I will—”

⠀ ⠀⠀“Yes, my love! Please stay in bed!” Suguru's voice rang out loudly. You, who had just begun to lower one leg from the mattress, quickly withdrew it back under the blankets. Moments later, you heard footsteps approaching.

⠀ ⠀⠀“Happiest mother's day!” screams filled the room.

⠀ ⠀⠀“And happiest birthday!”

⠀ ⠀⠀Your eyes widened, mouth agape in surprise as you beheld six figures standing before you, all radiating immense cheerfulness. Among them were two men and four small children—three girls and one boy. Satoru held aloft a small banner adorned with 'Happiest Mother's Day' in pink and white, while a little girl named Tsumiki proudly displayed a matching banner that read 'Happiest Birthday'. Their smiles were wide and infectious, filling the room with warmth and joy.

⠀ ⠀⠀They eagerly climbed onto the bed, surrounding you with excitement. Suguru settled on your right side, his arm wrapping around your waist. "Everyone, put these on," Satoru instructed as he approached with paper cone hats in hand. One by one, he distributed the hats to each person. "Let me help you, darling," he said warmly, placing a pink crown-shaped hat on your head along with a matching sash that read ‘Birthday Girl’, causing your smile to widen even more. Once everyone was adorned, Satoru took his place on your left. Together, they began clapping in rhythm, singing the happy birthday song to you.

⠀ ⠀⠀“You guys are so sweet,” you expressed with a smile, glancing at each person around you in turn. Suguru leaned in and gently kissed your cheek. “Happiest birthday, my love,” he murmured. Satoru followed suit, planting a kiss on your other cheek. “Happiest Mother's Day, princess,” he said affectionately. The little boy in front of you spoke up shyly, complimenting you. “You look beautiful, mom,“ he said, still adjusting to the new nickname. “Thank you, sweetheart,” you replied, brushing your hand against his cheek. The black-haired boy blushed and turned away bashfully.

⠀ ⠀⠀Seated before you were four small children: Fushiguro Megumi, Fushiguro Tsumiki, Mimiko, and Nanako Hasaba. Their eyes were fixed on you, gleaming with a sparkle that caught the reflection of candlelight, enhancing their innocent and adorable appearance. They gazed at you attentively, their expressions filled with curiosity and a hint of excitement, as if awaiting your next move or words.

⠀ ⠀⠀Megumi, a lively 6-year-old boy, reached out his hand, presenting a red cake adorned with tiny white hearts. On top, the words “I love you mom” were written in matching colors, adding a heartfelt touch. Meanwhile, Nanako, a girl around the same age as Megumi, mimicked his gesture. She proudly displayed a pink cake decorated with blue and purple flowers, along with the message “Happiest Birthday, Mom” in white frosting. A soft chuckle escaped you as you noticed their attempts at decorating the cakes, evident in the slightly messy handwriting and the charmingly uneven flower patterns.

⠀ ⠀⠀“Go ahead and blow out the candle,” Megumi urged, his words echoed by the other three children. “Don't forget to make a wish, Mom!” Tsumaki chimed in enthusiastically. Still smiling warmly, you closed your eyes and clasped your hands together, forming fists. In the quietness of your thoughts, you immersed yourself in a moment of prayer, overwhelmed with a sense of gratitude that filled your heart. Right now, there was nothing more you desired than to remain exactly where you were.

⠀ ⠀⠀You opened your eyes and gently blew out the flickering candles, prompting cheers of joy from everyone present. Suguru stepped forward, carefully taking the cake from Megumi's hands and placing it on a nearby table within reach of your bed. The room was filled with warmth as laughter and conversation flowed freely throughout the night. Together, you all cherished the moments, celebrating not only your birthday but also the essence of Mother's Day, creating cherished memories that would last a lifetime.

— 2019

⠀ ⠀⠀“Satoru, stop running!” you shouted from the kitchen.

⠀ ⠀⠀You can only shake your head and laugh when you hear the laughter of your 3 year old child in the arms of Satoru, your husband. “He stresses you out so much, I'm afraid my baby is gonna come out sooner than it should be,” Suguru said as he entered the kitchen. You chuckled at his ridiculous statement and hit him lightly on the shoulder. He approached you to kiss your cheeks and stomach alternately.

⠀ ⠀⠀“Please hang on a little bit more, baby,” he whispered against your stomach. You are currently pregnant for the second time. And this time, it's Geto Suguru's. It's been 9 years since you, Satoru and Suguru decided to leave the world of Jujutsu. Away from Tokyo to live in a world where no one knows your name, become a normal society like everyone else. You, Satoru and Suguru chose to get married a year later.

⠀ ⠀⠀Hold a wedding attended only by the people closest to you at a house on a beach, a house that will be the place where you spend the rest of your life. A house by the beach with just you and your family as far as the eye can see. With the four little children that Suguru and Satoru raised you were happy to care for like your children. You have 3 cats, black and white. Just as Suguru wanted.

⠀ ⠀⠀And you feel so very happy now that you feel guilty because you have such a perfect life. You feel guilty for your friends who still risk their lives just to kill the curse so that the world can be better. You still felt guilty for bringing the most powerful sorcerer to spend their lives being ordinary people, instead of being the strongest they should be.

⠀ ⠀⠀Satoru and Suguru always assured you that the life you were living now was the life they always wanted—to be normal. And you try not to care about your thoughts anymore.

⠀ ⠀⠀“You daydreaming again, love, what's in that pretty little head of yours?”

⠀ ⠀⠀Your thoughts were interrupted when you heard Satoru's voice. He looked at you who was now smiling and shaking your head slowly. You were too busy with your thoughts to notice Suguru was no longer in the kitchen and didn't notice Satoru's arrival. “It's nothing, baby,” you say. He raised his eyebrows and stepped closer until he was standing in front of you. “You sure, honey?” he asked as his fingers caressed your cheek. You nodded and stood on your tiptoes to peck his pink lips briefly—making him smile.

⠀ ⠀⠀Satoru cupped your cheeks and bent his head to kiss you. Your lips moved to follow Satoru's soft lips. You can taste the sweetness of the strawberries and cake in his mouth. Satoru and his sweet tooth. You kissed for a while before finally pulling away when Suguru's voice was heard.

⠀ ⠀⠀“Honey, they are here,” he said.

⠀ ⠀⠀“Oh? I think they're not going to be here until 2 more hours," you said and took the pie that you deliberately kept in the refrigerator before Satoru finished it. “Yeah, they chose to come early this time,” Suguru answered as he took the pie in your hand. Satoru put his arm around your waist as he helped you walk down the stairs after exiting the kitchen. The three of you walked towards the beach.

⠀ ⠀⠀Far ahead you can see people who are very, very familiar to you. You waved with a big smile on your face. “God, I miss you guys so much!” you said and wrapped your arms around Shoko. “I miss you too,” she said. “I haven't seen you in a year and now you're pregnant again, Y/n? Who is it this time? I hope it's not Satoru's, I can't imagine another copy of that idiot,” Utahime said making you laugh. She hugged you for a moment.

⠀ ⠀⠀“Hey! What was that supposed to mean? Utahime, you're just jealous because no man wants to be your boyfriend because you're mean. You're a big bully,” Satoru said in disapproval and hugged you. This made Utahime cross her arms in front of her chest and look at Satoru with raised eyebrows. “You're almost 30 and now looking at you—” She said and pointed Satoru up and down. “Act your age, I can't believe our lovely Y/n wants to marry you,” she said, getting more sassy with each sentence.

⠀ ⠀⠀Satoru gasped, “You bitch.”

⠀ ⠀⠀“It's Suguru's,” you said, interrupting your husband before a fight broke out. “Oh thank God, at least you're gonna have another normal person in your house,” she said and let out a sigh of relief. You and Suguru just laughed. And Satoru and Utahime started arguing again. That's all they do every time they meet and you can't voice any complaints, you can only let them be.

⠀ ⠀⠀“Y/n!!!!!”

⠀ ⠀⠀A scream was heard making you turn your gaze towards the sound. You can see Nobara, Maki, Yuji, and Panda running towards you at full strength. Behind them were Megumi, Toge, Yuta and Nanami who were walking casually. Your body stumbled backwards when the four people crashed into you, luckily Satoru and Suguru quickly stood behind you and stopped you from falling backwards.

⠀ ⠀⠀“Guys! Please be careful with my wife, she's pregnant okay? God, these kids!” Satoru said and helped you stand up straight. The four teenagers just chuckled and muttered sorry. “How are you guys?” you asked kindly. “We're good! we miss you so much! Nobara doesn't want to shut up about missing your cookies, it's getting annoying,” Yuji said before he hugged you briefly and kissed your cheek. “You're the same,” Megumi finally said when he was in front of you and rolled his eyes briefly. He greeted you with a hug and rubbed your stomach for a moment. “Oh shut up! You, yourself can't stop talking about missing your mom,” Yuji replied, not accepting it in which getting a slap on his head from the spike-haired boy.

⠀ ⠀⠀“Y/n, how are you?”

⠀ ⠀⠀Nanami came over to give you a hug and a kiss on your stomach afterwards. “I'm doing fine, honey, how's yours?” you asked and kissed his cheek too. “Good—” his words trailed off as he lowered his gaze to stare at your stomach. “Again?” he asked which made you laugh. “What do you mean, again? it's only been the second time,” said Satoru in response.

⠀ ⠀⠀Nanami raised both eyebrows, “I hope it's not yours,” he said throwing Satoru a look. An annoyed groan came out of your husband's mouth and he let go of his arms from you. “No, Nanami, it's not mine, it's Suguru's,” he said irritably. Just like Utahime, Nanami breathed a sigh of relief. “Oh thank God!” Satoru clicked his tongue in annoyance and stomped his feet on the sand as he walked away, leaving you and Nanami alone.

⠀ ⠀⠀“God, he's like a child,” he said.

⠀ ⠀⠀You just smiled looking at Satoru's back facing you as he chatted with Yuta, Toge and Yuji. Nanami led you to sit on one of the chairs and he sat himself next to you. In front of you, you can see Shoko, Utahime, Nobara, Tsumiki and Nanako playing in the water with your 3-year-old child. His blue eyes formed crescent moons as he laughed in Shoko's arms. His white hair moved here and there due to the gentle wind. A sweet smile perched on your face at the sight.

⠀ ⠀⠀“He looks just like Satoru,” Nanami said so you turned your gaze towards him for a moment then nodded. “He is, especially his smile, just like his father,” you said softly. And there was silence for a moment, both you and Nanami were just silent. The sound of the waves, the sound of people talking and the sound of laughter that only you can hear and you feel happier than before. Having your family and friends gather. It was almost like a routine.

⠀ ⠀⠀Megumi chose to follow Jujutsu and when summer comes, he will return, along with his friends and also your friends and your two husbands. And you'll be spending time at the beach all summer long. Without thinking about the curse, without thinking about the higher-ups, without thinking about anything, just spending time like a normal person in general. And you will always open your arms wide to welcome them, as will your two husbands.

⠀ ⠀⠀“You look very happy, even happier than I've ever seen you,” Nanami said. Hearing what he said made you look back at him. However, Nanami only focused his gaze on your two husbands who were busy talking and joking with Yuta, Yuji, Toge, Megumi and Panda. You smiled at your two husbands.

⠀ ⠀⠀“I always knew that you would marry one of them, but I didn't expect that you would marry both of them and become pregnant with their child, especially Satoru,” he said. The corners of his lips lifted slightly upwards— smiling faintly. “But I can see how they make you happy,” he continued. He was silent for a moment before he looked at you.

⠀ ⠀⠀“The three of you— I want to do what you do, later, I'm gonna stop being a Jujutsu sorcerer and live by the beach, away from here. I've bought a lot of books that I haven't read yet, I want to read page by page while sitting on the sand," he said with admiration. His eyes looked straight ahead, looking at the crashing waves under the blue sky. Hearing what he said you smiled faintly.

⠀ ⠀⠀“Have anywhere in mind?” you ask.

⠀ ⠀⠀He looked at you, smiled while nodded his head, “Malaysia, Kuantan,” he answered. You extended your hand towards him which Nanami happily took, holding it gently.

⠀ ⠀⠀“You should go for it, totally,” you said.

⠀ ⠀⠀“I will.”

⠀ ⠀⠀You sighed and leaned back on the chair you were sitting on. Your two hands rubbed your stomach which was now growing— 1 month away before mini Suguru came out into the world. Your heart feels warm just remembering it. Nothing in the world can replace what you have. After everything you, Suguru and Satoru have been through, you feel grateful that you are still together. Your love is getting stronger every day and nothing can change that. You feel like you are the luckiest girl in the world to have what you have now.

⠀ ⠀⠀You realize that not everything in life has to be a beautiful story, you can't skip chapters. You have to read every line and meet every character. Some you may not be able to enjoy, and maybe some want to make you cry on the floor and beg you to no longer be in this world. But with Satoru and Suguru, you are sure you can get through anything, as long as you are together.

⠀ ⠀⠀“Mommy!”

⠀ ⠀⠀You opened your arms wide to welcome your child who was running towards you. Satoru and Suguru trailed behind him. “Did you have fun, baby?” you asked as you wrapped your arms around his small body and pulled him close. “Yes!” he said making you chuckle. Suguru sat himself down next to you. The black-haired man put his arm around your waist and kissed your cheek briefly. While the white-haired man lay down with his head on your thigh— he looked up at you

⠀ ⠀⠀“My beautiful wife,” he said.

⠀ ⠀⠀Give you a flying kiss. “My handsome husband,” you said in reply and brushed his white hair back. Mini Satoru— he pushed Satoru's head off your thigh and took your hand, placing it on top of his head. “Me, me, me,” he said and moved your hand—gesturing you to rub his head. “Hey!” Satoru got up and sat down, throwing his son an offended look. While his mini just looked at him and stuck out his tongue.

⠀ ⠀⠀“You're my kid! you're from my seed, that means she's mine because I came first,” he said. Suguru laughed at Satoru's ridiculous words but chose not to say anything. “No, no, no—” Your son stared at his hands that were moving as if he wanted to show something. Slowly but surely he clenched his hand until only his middle finger remained—giving it to Satoru. You gaped, as did Satoru, while Suguru burst into laughter beside you—which made you laugh too.

⠀ ⠀⠀“You intolerant sh—”

⠀ ⠀⠀“Baby, that's not nice. You can't do that to your father,” you said and pulled your lips straight, trying to hold back your laughter when you saw Satoru's annoyed face. But your child just stares at you with his big blue eyes, seemingly not understanding what you're saying. “I can't believe this, even your kid thinks you're annoying,” Utahime said laughing as she passed the four of you. She seemed to enjoy what had just happened and the annoyance on Satoru's face.

⠀ ⠀⠀Satoru, annoyed and childish, turned his back to his son who was now looking at him pitifully. Slowly, he crawled over to Satoru and hugged the more than 190cm tall man's waist with his small hands. You chuckled a little when you saw his hands barely hug Satoru's waist, only able to hug almost the back of his waist. In a typical child's voice, he said sorry which made Satoru quickly turn around to face your child.

⠀ ⠀⠀“You know I love you too much to stay mad at you,” he said. He picked your child up and threw him slightly in the air, inviting laughter from the little one. You occasionally laughed at the adorable interactions between Satoru and your children. And just like any other summer, you spend time with your family and friends full of warmth and laughter. With Satoru and Suguru beside you.

⠀ ⠀⠀It's not just you now.

⠀ ⠀⠀