I’m Afraid Of Americans

How I flirt: *stares from distance*

exhaustion … sentence starters

the exhausted

“I can’t sleep.”

“I can’t keep my eyes open.”

“Can you help me back to bed?”

“I’m okay. I’m not even that tired.”

“I don’t remember the last time I slept.”

“I can’t sleep, yet. There’s too much to do.” 

“I don’t want to sleep. I keep having nightmares.”

“I promise I’ll sleep in a bit, just let me finish this, first.”

“Can you help me lie down? I can’t move, I’m too tired.”

“I can’t even think straight anymore… maybe I need to sleep.”

“Of course I want to relax. But, we don’t all get what we want.”

“I’m so tired I can’t do anything, but I’m not tired enough to sleep…”

the concerned

“You keep yawning.”

“Go. Sleep. That’s not a request.”

“If you’re that tired, just take a nap.”

“You look like you haven’t slept in days.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you were this tired?”

“Those are some bad bags under your eyes.”

“You don’t have to push so hard. It’s okay to rest.”

“You can barely keep your eyes open, go lie down.”

“I haven’t seen you sleeping in a long time, what’s up?”

“I just had to stop you from toppling over. You’re not okay.”

“With everything you’ve been through lately, of course you’re tired.”

“I heard you thrashing around last night. Nightmares? Is that why you’re so tired?”

“You know, you keep fretting over everyone else, but you won’t even take a second to relax, yourself.”

misc

(doze) : one muse falls asleep on the other’s shoulder

(tuck) : one muse finds the other passed out onto the bed, and tucks them in

(collapsed) : one muse finds the other passed out on the floor from exhaustion

(carry) : one muse finds the other after they’ve fallen asleep on a chair / couch, and carries them to bed 

(cover) : one muse finds the other asleep somewhere other than bed and covers them with a blanket / their jacket

(assist) : one muse finds the other so tired they’re having trouble standing and helps them walk somewhere to lie down

(comfort) : one muse has been having nightmares and unable to sleep, so asks the other to cuddle with them to help them drift off

𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐢’𝐝 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫.

1. Alias/Name: Jenna but I also use Breadie

2. Birthday: April 9th

3. Zodiac Sign: Aries

4. Height: 5′5″

5. Hobbies: Digital Art/Graphic Design, playing Witcher and LOZ, history studying, exploring, muse hoarding, etc

6.  Favourite Colours: Red, orange, yellow and pink!

7. Favourite Books: American Gods is good so far and Seven Fallen Fathers is great!

8. Last song listened to:  I’ll rust with you by Steam Powered Giraffe 

9. Last film or show watched: Hunt for the Wilderpeople

10. Inspiration for muse: The Cold War is big one, American isolation, the history of Turtle Island and his big changes from this time; becoming forceful and disconnected but keeping that natural gift at doing business and intelligence, C.anada and A.merica relations in general ( How C.anadians and A.mericans see each other, the HEAVY influence the two have on each other, etc ). These are what get my muse going!

11. Story behind url: He’s patriotic? It’s really easy coming up with a URL for a a.merica muse. 

Tagged By: @radiomayak <33

Tagging: idk its been a hot minuet since I’ve been in this community so,,,YOU!! IM TAGGING YOU!!! 

Rick Guidice NASA concept, 1973

world's shittiest rp memes™: jerma985 cooking-themed sentence starters (from his cooking simulator streams)

intended for shitpost-y threads, but could be versatile. change pronouns/insert names/adjust phrasing as needed.

(grabs a pan directly out of the oven.) "OWOWOW, MY HANDS, OWW!!"

"okay, now what i want you to do is chug the avocado oil."

"they didn’t even know that half of that shit touched the ground."

"how much soup is soup?"

"wha- it cooks when i take it out?! how does it cook when it’s not in the pan?! that makes no sense!"

[sender's muse] tries to place a utensil down but manages to fling it clear across the room instead.

"i’m gonna deep-fry a propane tank."

"there's blood on the counter. ... and this dough looks really, really weird to me."

(cramming a bunch of metal utensils into a microwave.)

"i feel like that's the kind of shit we'll be eating when the apocalypse happens."

"i threw a cucumber and it exploded!"

"it looks like a... it looks like a dead bird."

(tries to empty a pot into the sink but manages to flip it completely upside down, spilling its contents all over the counter and floor.)

"i just singed my fucking eyebrows."

(tries to carefully pour food from a fryer onto a plate. 80% of the food ends up on the counter around the plate instead.)

(attempts to gently flip a cut of meat, but somehow manages to launch it out of the pan, into the air and onto a completely different part of the stove.) "... WHY?! I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING!"

"hopefully he doesn’t taste the glass."

[sender's muse] attempts to yell "YOU FUCKIN' DONKEY" like gordon ramsey, but they do the accent so badly they sound like shrek instead.

[sender's muse] accidentally throws an entire pizza out of the window.

"i’m realizing what i’m turning into. and i actually entered into, like, the experiment pretend-to-have-a-restaurant five-year-old thing."

an explosion goes off behind them. they turn to see the kitchen has caught fire. "... huh? did someone drop a fucking BOMB on us?!"

[sender's muse] starts pointing the business end of a blowtorch directly into their own eyes.

"i’ll put on the kitchen nightmares american OST."

"do not mix gas in the mixer. ... not now."

(tosses a pan in the air and breaks the ceiling fan COMPLETELY apart. all of the blades come off and the base falls to the floor.) "what. what?! scared the absolute hell outta me, i didn't know you could do that!"

(microwaves raw trout for 20 seconds, then immediately grabs a fork to dig in.)

(accidentally tosses a sponge into a pot of soup instead of the sink, then tries to surreptitiously fish it back out and pretend they didn’t.)

as [sender's muse] is walking to serve [receiver’s muse], the entire meal falls off the plate on the way there and they set a completely empty plate on the table like nothing is wrong.

(placing a porkchop directly onto the counter) "don’t let me forget this is here! ‘cause it’s cooked and it’s ready to eat!"

(tries putting something in the microwave, but it somehow flies out and across the room.) "okay, this is fucking broken."

"you wanna make prison wine?"

(laughing) "that looks like cat puke..."

(toting an extremely burnt pizza crust with a 5 inch tall pile of olives on it) "who ordered the caviar pizza?"

"it’s still good! ... no it’s not."

(spills two bowls of soup in a row just trying to carry them out of the kitchen.)

"it looks like someone bled on that pizza, doesn’t even look like sauce."

"i’m making floor soup."

(looks in the oven and immediately starts laughing.) "oh, shit."

(completely abandons the still-cooking food.) "aw, is that a bird? a bird just flew by."

(throws a pan full of raw steak across the room.)

(starts throwing cuts of meat out the window.)

(immediately after throwing a cut of meat out the window) "... did somebody just scream at me? i just caused a car accident!"

(scanning over the complete disaster in the kitchen like a cop at a crime scene) "okay, so very obviously, there was a struggle, right."

@radiomayak​  / /  Starter Call.

“You can’t escape by going into the bar; I’ll just show them one of these.” Alfred flashes an ID with the wrong age he’s presenting as, a suspicious 21, but nothing they can prove wrong. “And I’ll buy out just about the entire bar so there’s only enough for sleazy blowjob, but you need to drink it r i g h t.” “Or we go to the mall, as I suggested,” a very strong suggestion. “I’ll buy you an outfit so you fit in a little better here. It’s too warm for that.”

i totally did NOT forget to finish these and will soon -- 

⭐️ Hey- like this for a para starter!! ⭐️

⭐️ Hey- like this for a para starter!! ⭐️

Editorial photographed by Frances McLaughlin-Gill, 1955 - via x